Hey guys! Behold, the ultimate insanity that is about to be unleashed upon the world – a multichapter, multi-character, multitude of words arranged in such a way that will make you question the very thin strings of sanity that hold the earth together! At least, that's the desired effect.

My goal is to become a comedy writer so I'm going all out with this one – however, if you're expecting any level of sophistication present, then I suggest you GET OUT NOW! I am sophisticated as FUCK.

As I've said in the summary, the type of comedy will be over the top, completely nonsensical, psychotic, random and just plain wrong – BECAUSE THAT'S HOW WE DO IT ON THE INTERNETZ!

Whatever happens there will be an absolute minimum of Blading. Foolish children, who on EARTH watches the show for the little spinning tops? Muahahaha… Also, since every story needs a straight man, there will be SOME sane characters… Madoka, probably. Tsubasa… And maybe Nile and Zeo, all have a reasonable level of sanity. I'm promising nothing for the others.

Fianlly, I'm honoured to have the talents of my co-writer FrostStarX (I freakin' love her stories) workig along side me! Twice the crazy!

NOW! LET THE INSANITY BEGIN!

SOMEWHERE… NOT IN AMERICA!

A young boy of questionable age stepped outside, ready to embark on his journey. Friends and foes awaited as he took his very first steps into the world of Pokemon-

'Beyblade! This is Beyblade!' Masamune angrily corrected the narrator.

'Anyway – I am Masamune Kadoya and I am officially the new main character of this show! WARM TO ME IMMEDIATELY!'

AT A STADIUM SOMEWHERE

Ryo Hagane and Hikaru overlooked the two battles from a small booth.

'Hikaru… Are you sure about this?' Ryo asked the bluenette, who nodded gravely.

'I've made my decision. The Worf effect is getting to me. I guess I have no choice but to become an extra.'

'Well, if it makes you feel any better, I once used to be the most terrifying, badass, sexiest, most authentic and threatening anti-hero on the show. Now I've been demoted to comic relief…'

'Umm, Director?'

'AND I LIKE IT!' Ryo cried, leaping onto the table.

'Director, please put your clothes back on...' Hikaru sighed, holding up his jacket as he danced naked around the office.

B-B-BATTLE!

'B-B-B-BULL!'

'GO GET 'EM, EAGLE!'

'FOR THE LAST TIME, TSUBASA, MY NAME IS AQUILA! LOOK, IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE ON THE BLADE! OH FOR THE LOVE OF-' Earth Eagle's sprite groaned to himself.

'EAGLE! AM I PAYING YOU TO KICK ASS OR NOT?'

'YOU'RE NOT PAYING ME AT ALL, CHEAPSKATE! Cheh, all Bladers are such idiots… Can't even read…'

In the other arena, Yuu was kicking the crap out of Teru. And I mean that quite literally.

'AND THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, YOU NO GOOD GIRLY BOY, FOR THINKING YOU COULD STEAL MY SCREENTIME!'

'Ow – Yuu – please – stop – punching – me!' Teru gasped, struggling to pull away from the freakishly strong ten-year-old.

Meanwhile, Earth Virgo and Libra stood idly on the sidelines.

'Kick his ass, Yuu!' Libra cheered.

'My poor Master… I should probably do something…' Virgo muttered.

Luckily, Tsubasa rushed over to drag a kicking and screaming Yuu off of Teru.

'Yuu! What did I tell you about physically attacking people? IT'S NOT NICE!'

'He was asking for it, Tsubasa! He was trying to steal my screentime!'

'Oh come on, Yuu, after this episode Teru will never appear in this stupid show ever again.'

'That's what I told him!' Teru cried. 'I've accepted my fate as a background character and I really don't see what the problem is andOH GOD, PLEASE DON'T START PUNCHING ME AGAIN-'

Fortunately, Tsubasa managed to restrain Yuu as Teru hurriedly crawled off the stage.

'THAT'S IT, YUU! NO SUGAR FOR A WEEK!'

Yuu simply stared at the older boy. Stared and stared.

'Oh God…' Tsubasa braced himself, as Yuu took a deep breath.

BACK WITH MASAMUNE

'Damn everything! In all the time I spent training and Blading in an effort to become number one, I never managed to complete my education and therefore have absolutely no literacy ability! SCREW THIS! Whoever thought being able to read and write would ever be important?!' Masamune cried, studying the signposts for what seemed like the thousandth time. 'AHH! THE REST OF THE CAST HAS GOTTA BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE! PLEASE, JUST GIVE ME A SIGN!'

'AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH!'

Masamune glanced over his shoulder in the direction of the scream.

'Well, guess that's as good as sign as any! Let's go Zebstrika! We're about to meet our new understudies!'

BACK AT THE STADIUM

'-AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!-'

'OKAY, OKAY, YUU! I TAKE IT BACK – YOU CAN HAVE AS MUCH SUGAR AS YOU WANT!' Tsubasa hastily tried to calm the younger boy.

'AAAAAA-Yep, that's more like it.' Yuu, now all smiles, jumped back onto the stage. 'Tsubasa thinks he can take away my sugar – YOU FORGOT WHO YOU'RE MESSING WITH, FOOL!'

'I really worry for his sanity…' Tsubasa mumbled.

The audience began to cheer as both boys took out their launchers and began to count down.

'THAT'S RIGHT, BITCHES! SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION FOR PIMP MASTER YUU!' Yuu cried, waving to his ladies.

'Isn't he like, ten?' Aquila asked Tsubasa who nodded, holding his head in his hands.

'JEALOUS, TSUBASA? I BET I GET MORE TAIL IN A WEEK THAN YOU WILL IN A LIFETIME!'

'Seriously, that's a really disturbing image.' Aquila frowned.

'Just shut up and get ready to fight, okay?' Tsubasa sighed. 'Three! Two! One!… I refuse to say our ridiculous catchphrase!'

Oh, the two spinning tops clashed fiercely, crashing against each other with all their might. They managed to hold the crowd's attention for a whole TEN SECONDS, this time.

'LIBRA! USE FLAMEHROWER!'

'But I'm not a Pokemon-'

'I SAID DO IT! AND AIM FOR TSUBASA, WIPE THAT SMUG GRIN OFF HIS FACE!'

'Huh, when do I ever smile?' Tsubasa wondered, then rapidly ducked. 'CHRIST YUU, THE BLADES ARE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT EACH OTHER!'

'I CHANGED MY MIND! LIBRA! DESTROY EVERYTHING IN SIGHT!'

'Why that child is trusted with fire, I will never understand.' Aquila commented, before soaring into the sky and out of sight.

'Oh, thanks a lot, Eagle!'

'IT'S AQUILA!'

'Whatever…' Tsubasa looked on, as Libra and Yuu began tearing down the entire stadium. Blader DJ was first to die.

'B-but I'm supposed to appear in almost every episode! You can't kill me off!' He begged.

'Wanna bet?' Yuu laughed manically, as Libra finished him off.

Phoenix frowned.

'Hikaru, send a memo out regarding auditions for a new announcer,' He said, as he watched the stadium collapse in flames. 'Also, we should probably call the fire brigade or something...'

SOMEWHERE ELSE

'Oh Pegasus! You were the love of my life! How can I live without you by my side? I HAVE NO WILL TO LIVE!' Gingka sobbed to himself, clutching his Pinky Pie plushie and shovelling Ben and Jerry's into his mouth.

'...He's been like this for almost a week now.' Madoka explained to Kenta, as they watched from the doorway.

'Wow, what a great role model.' Kenta said.

'I wish he wouldn't be so obvious about his crush on Pegasus... You can get arrested for that sort of thing, after all...' Madoka frowned. 'Oh well, there's no way I n handle this anymore. Gingka! Gingka, wanna go live with Hyoma for a few days?' She called out to the deranged teenager.

'Who the fuck is Hyoma?'

'...Umm... your best friends since child hood?'

'...No, I definitely do not remember anyone with that name. And anyway - WITHOUT PEGASUS MY LIFE IS EMPTY! I HAVE NO DESIRE TO EVER LEAVE THIS ROOM!'

'I'll buy you a candybar.'

'OOH! OKAY!'

IN KOMA VILLAGE

'So, you really think you can cure him?'

Hyoma glanced at Gingka who was slowly rocking back and orward ina catatonic trance, mumbling Pegasus... PEGASUS... over and over again.

'He seems perfectly fine to me.'

'Hyoma!'

'Alright... Hey, Gingka, how are you-JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!'

'I should have warned you, if you try to touch his horse teddy he bites.' Madoka sweatdropped as Hyoma rubbed his arm with the teethmarks.

'Okay... I think I have the answer. But it involves a dangerous journey to terrible place and there's a chance we may never make it out alive...' Hyoma warned, eyes darkening.

IN EQUESTRIA

'PEGASUS I DON'T BELIEVE IT IT'S REALLY YOU!' Gingka yelled, lunging for a blue pony with a rainbow coloured mane.

'GET OFF ME YOU FAG!' Dash grimaced, as Gingka began to lick her face.

'LICKING PEOPLE MEANS CLAIMING OWNERSHIP OF THEM! NOW YOU BELONG TO ME!'

'This is a dangerous and perilous place?' Madoka asked Hyoma, as pink ponies frolicked behind them aginst a backdrop of pink clouds and sunshine.

'Don't judge a book by its cover Madoka. Ponies are seriou business. Especially that one. Do not trust that little fucker over there.' Hyoma hissed, pointing to an adorable yellow pony who blinked her innocent green eyes at them.

'Awwh, but she's so cute!' Madoka cooed, stroking her mane. She turned back to Hyoma, not noticing the yellow pony setting fire to Kenta's t-shirt.

'All hail Lord Smooze...' She hissed, slinking away.

'HELP ME I AM ON FIRE!'

'PEGASUS WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME?'

'And I was hoping for an easy day...' Madoka sighed.

BACK THE THE BEY STADIUM

'What the heck is this massive queue for?' Masamune wondered at the line of people.

'Auditions for Beyblade Metal Masters.' A guy near him explained.

'What? No way! This is what I'm here for! No way am I lining up here all day!' He cried, barging his way to the front.

Ryo, Hikaru, Tsubasa and Yuu were sitting at a desk as the boy standing in front of them finished his audition.

'What the hell, guys? Why does nobody realize I'M supposed to be the main character of this freaking show!'

'Do you mind? I'd like toget these auditions over with so I can go home...' Tsubasa sighed to himself. 'Take a nice long bath and maybe catch the latest episode of the X Factor...'

'WHAT THE-' Masamune found himself ushered off stage as another man flounced in, wearing what could only be described as a 'chicken suit' - a long red trench coat with black feathered collar and silly looking red mask.

'It says on your resume you were a member of the cast of Bakugan Battle Brawlers.' Phoenix said, looking over it. 'Nice mask, by the way. Alright, go ahead.'

'Thank you, my name is Spectra Phantom and I'll be auditioning for the role of Blader DJ.' He threw back his head and began to sing:

(To the tune of the english beyblade theme song)

'BEYBLADE BEYBLADE SEX IN TIGHTS

GINGKA'S A BRONY

AND HE LOVES MY LITTLE PONY

MASAMUNE

HAS A TINY DICK

GAYBLADE GAYBLADE JACK'S A FAG

WOULD YOU LOOK AT TSUBASA'S ASS

WANG HU ZHONG ARE COMMIES

SO ARE LOVUSHKA

NOT THAT MADOKA'D MIND

SHE WANTS TO FUCK THE NERD

RYUUGA'S CRAZY

I LOVE SOPHIE

GAYBLADE GAYBLADE THIS IS IT

ZEO'S HAVING

A MAJOR FIT

'CAUSE TOBY'S CHOSE MASAMUNE OVER HIM'

'Well that was... interesting.' Hikaru sared at him as he bowed.

'Bravo! Five stars! I liked the bit about Masamune having a tiny dick!' Phoenix applauded.

'It says on your resume you weren't born on this planet... what's that supposed to mean?' Tsubasa asked.

'TSUBASA! MORE CANDY! NOW!' Yuu cried, having finished his fiftieth box of Pocky that day.

'THAT IS IT!' Masamune glowered, irate. 'I HAVE HAD IT! I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT DISRESPECTED SINCE THIS STUPID CHAPTER BEGAN AND - DON'T YOU DARE CUTSCENE RIGHT NOW I WILL KILL YOU-'

EQUESTRIAAA~

'And what did we learn today Gingka?' Hyoma asked.

'That latching onto a crazy lezzie pony with a temper will only result in getting the crap kicked out of me. And my nuts.' Gingka sighed, clutching his pants.

'I really hope Kenta's okay. We probably shouldn't have left him in all that chaos.' Madoka said as they walked away from a burning inferno of screaming ponies and blazing fire.

'ALL HAIL LORD SMOOZE!' Fluttershy laughed manically as everything burned to the ground.

'Don't be to hard on yourself Madoka, at least we saved the main character - GINGKA WHAT IS THAT!'

Gingka tried to hide a struggling sack behind him and looked innocently at his friends.

'It is DEFINITELY NOT the crazy lezzie pony bound and gagged!'

'Oh for goodness sake Gingka...' Madoka sighed, slapping her face with her hand.

'YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! IF I DON'T HAVE PEGASUS IN MY LIFE IT WOULD BE LIKE LIVING WITHOUT A SOUL!' Gingka defended himself.

'Y'know, you could always just buy a new Bey at ToysRUs. They're only like ten dollars.' Hyoma said.

'No, I have a good feeling about this one.' Gingka grinned as the bag continued to rock with fury and Rainbow Dah made plans to kill the crazy brony the minute she managed to get free.

TO BE CONTINUED

Yeah, I have no idea...

Pretty much just went to shit bout half way through...

Oh well, review please :)

Over to you, Frost! :)