...It's been months since I last updated this. I wanted to do this soon, but wow, I have been avoiding this baby for the longest. ._.

Hetalia isn't mine, by the way.

Breathe, just breathe, Lithuania told himself. It's going to be okay.

He was sitting in Poland's study, sitting behind stacks upon stacks of paperwork that Poland neglected during his many shopping trips. Usually when he's behind this desk, Lithuania really do complete the work and help as much as he can to keep Poland stable, but the paperwork wasn't the real reason why he came in here. Promising to read and sign and edit everything before sending them off to Poland's boss was merely a ruse, a cover up for the real reason Lithuania wanted to come in here.

He needed a place to hide. He needed a private space from time to time to collect his thoughts as best he could without anyone being able to watch him; being watched, being in someone else's presence, only made it worse.

"It's going to be okay, Lithuania," he repeated aloud. He stared intensely at a lock of his hair in his fingers, twisting it and rubbing it to keep focus. "D-don't let it get to you. Everything's fine..." He told himself that repeated for fifteen minutes now, but throughout the entire time that he's reassured himself, his mind and his body disagreed: his leg jiggled ceaselessly, his palms were sweating so badly that his air was soaking wet from having contact with them, and his heart rate only increased the more he breathed "calming" breaths. He was nervous, if a reaction like this could even be called nervous.

Worst of all, Lithuania didn't even know what's setting off his nervous reaction to begin with, but the many scenarios and theories that flooded his mind gave him some ideas.

It's Poland's economy, it has to be. Poland's too wreckless with his spending and yeah, I know it's an addiction he'll need therapy to fix, but if he sinks, don't I as well? No, I'm going to be fine. But...but what if I won't be fine? What if I do sink with Poland and then the rest of the world sinks with him, and who's going to help Poland if everyone else is struggling just like him?

"Lithuania, stop thinking this..."

Why is Poland doing this to himself anyway if he knows how it's damaging his economy as well as himself? He's going to be physically sick soon if he keeps this up and I don't know how to stop him. It's because I'm so spineless.

Lithuania took deeper, slower breaths. It was getting stronger and he can sense it; it was getting so strong, he could feel his stomach churn. He dug in his pocket and pulled out a small bottle of brightly-colored tablets, reading the label and instructions on it. The personal psychiatrist his boss assigned to him prescribed one pill for every six hours, because he knew that if he didn't, Lithuania would've popped one- two, three, maybe four- every time an attack came, and he would've overdosed instantly.

But the regular dosage wasn't strong enough. It showed in the way that Lithuania can smell the scent of sweat-soaked underarms without even exercising or being in a hot room; it showed in the way he could hear his heart palpitate in his ears- ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum- and in the way he can taste the dryness in his mouth.

It's because I'm spineless. I can't go up to Poland and tell him to stop destroying his economy and putting himself down under. How can I when I can't even control my damn emotions?! I'm so weak; it's why everyone keeps bossing me around and making jokes behind my back, because I can't control myself, so how can I control what others do to me?

Lithuania shoved his bottle of pills into his pockets and got out of the desk chair to pace in the middle of the study. He undone two of his shirt's buttons and fanned himself with his collar.

"Lithuania, just calm down, it's- it's all in your head, that's all. Just don't...don't think about it. Nobody thinks of you like this. Right...?"

Of course everyone thinks of me like that! How else would they think of me? I let some flamboyant man in silly pink shirts drag me around for centuries, of course I'm easy picking! Look at what Russia did to me, he carted me off when he could've had Poland, and why? Because Poland said no. Poland fought his hardest, and I... I mostly just stood there and watched. Even my citizens fought harder than I did, and what good is a nation if he isn't fighting side by side with his soldiers?!

Lithuania didn't know how he ended up on the floor in front of the desk, but he was there, sitting with his head inbetween his knees as he tried to breathe and count and put himself in his happy place and stay there until he was able to take another pill.

"And of course Poland let me be dragged away by Russia. I mean, maybe he lost on purpose so that he'd have a reason to cart me away while not looking like a jerk in my face and just- he hated me. He hates me now. But I'm the only mule he has that can carry his burden, so of course he's going to kee me now that I pretty much tied myself to him.

"What am I even good for besides being someone's yesman at every point of my existence?" Lithuania shouted to the ceiling. "Nothing! I'm good for nothing and can't do anything and don't have any worth!"

Lithuania stopped himself when he realized that he was yelling at the ceiling. There was no one else in there but himself. He ran a hand through his hair, soaking the rest of his hair in his sweat, and laughed. He just sat there and laughed. He laughed, trying to calm himself with as much of the natural anestethia as possible, until tears started to roll down his cheeks.

Then, when the minutes came by and he felt his lungs getting sore from laughing so much, Lithuania started crying. He bit into his lip to block his sobbing, but when he checked his watch- three more hours until he was able to take another dose and somehow live through another few hours of this bizarre and scary nightmare- he let his cries go free, only muffling them with his hands so that no one else can hear. He let himself go, let the anxiety take over him and run him through so many fears and sadness while he had this time alone to cry and curse himself as much as he needed.

This was why he didn't want anyone with him in the study.

Wow, I hope I did the anxiety sufferers some justice in this, because I'm not too sure on this drabble.

Anyway, from what I've learned, General Anxiety Disorder, or just Anxiety, is a sort of panic disorder where the person who has it suffers from extreme feelings of fear and paranoia. Sometimes there's an outside cause, sometimes there isn't. Usually medical treatment can help the person live a stable life with anxiety, but it can't simply be willed away, due to the brain's chemical imbalances that make it hard to control by "self-assurance" alone.

Support from friends and family can help too, but unfortunately for poor Lithuania, he's too insecure from his percieved thoughts about what the others think of him to reach out beyond his psychiatrist.