Wanting To Atone

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the television series Once Upon a Time and I'm not making any money from this fic

Summary: Jefferson finds a possible way to get back to Fairyland. Wanting to atone and make his daughter proud, he decides to try and test the way on his own

Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers up to and including the season two episode Lady of the Lake; some mentions of violence

Author's Note: A prompt story for Once Upon a Time

In theory, Jefferson knew that he should have been happy. He had his daughter back with him and she remembered him. Magic existed in the world, even if they weren't back in their true world. And he had Grace living with him in his house now - a house that didn't hold him prisoner.

But Jefferson still felt stabs of guilt. He was known as the Mad Hatter in Fairyland, but here in Storybrooke, he felt saner than he ever had. And unfortunately, sanity seemed to bring along with it guilt.

That was the whole reason Jefferson was currently in his workshop, working on a hat to open a gateway back into Fairyland. He'd shut himself in there at night and during the time his daughter was at school, spending the rest of his time with his daughter and refusing to so much as sleep.

The beeping of his alarm pulled Jefferson away from his work on the hat. Biting back a curse, he checked the time and then sighed heavily, standing up and looking over the hat. It wasn't quite right... but it was getting there.

It didn't matter now, though, since Grace was due home from school. Jefferson slipped out of his workshop, locking the door behind him - the last thing he wanted was for Grace to go into his workshop and accidentally activate some of the magic in there.

He wasn't going to risk losing her again.

Jefferson reached the living room just as his daughter came into the house. Without a word, she stepped over and just hugged him.

Blinking back tears, Jefferson hugged his daughter back just as tightly. He felt like he couldn't get enough of her, now that they were a true family again. He held her for a few moments and then spoke softly. "How did your day at school go? Do you have much homework to do?"

"A bit. We're supposed to interview and write an essay on our fairytale character. I wanted to do you, but we're not allowed to ask members of our family." Grace shrugged and then added, "The Prince came to our school and I asked if I could interview him. He said yes and so he's coming round here for dinner."

Jefferson frowned. "Grace, that's not a good idea."

"Why? It's not like he's angry with you."

Jefferson sighed and wondered how he could explain this to his daughter, who was so smart in many ways, but still just a child. He didn't want to see Prince James - not until he had a sure way of opening a door back into Fairyland. "I just don't think it's a good idea right now," he said. Then again, it wasn't like he wanted to talk to Prince James and tell him he couldn't see his daughter. After all, it was Prince James who'd told everyone to carry on with their lives as normal. And the last thing Jefferson wanted was to cause Grace more worry by letting her think that she'd done something wrong. "When is he coming? And is anyone else coming with him?"

Grace shook her head, slowly letting go of her father. "He said he wouldn't be long. He's just got to check on a few things before he comes here. I'm going to work on the questions I want to ask him." She smiled and then slipped out of the living room.

Jefferson lost his smile and sighed. He couldn't deny that he felt exhausted - and the last thing he felt like doing was trying to entertain royalty. But for Grace's sake, he would do anything.

He just didn't know what sort of thing Prince James would be looking to eat.

As all sorts of menu ideas went through his mind - quickly discarded - Jefferson was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of the doorbell ringing. He hesitated, considering just ignoring the door in the hope that the Prince would just go away. Finally, though, he decided that he didn't have to tell James what he was doing. In fact, he could probably just get away with only being civil to the Prince without actually telling him anything.

With that thought in mind, Jefferson slipped out of the living room and headed to the front door. He opened it and looked at James, forcing a smile on his face. It probably didn't look all that sane, but he was the Mad Hatter, after all. Insanity was all part of his nature.

James regarded Jefferson with an expression on his face that was difficult to read. After a few moments, he spoke. "How are things going with your daughter?"

Jefferson shrugged. "Things are going fine," he answered casually. "Grace told me you were coming. Why don't you come in?" He stepped back from the door, holding eye contact with James as the Prince stepped into the house.

"What about you?" James asked, studying Jefferson's face. "You look like you haven't been sleeping well."

Jefferson wondered, briefly, if the fact that James had noticed that meant that his daughter had as well. Deciding that she probably hadn't, he closed the door and shrugged. "I'm fine. Why would you think I'm not?"

"Because Grace told me she was worried about you - and that you've been holed up in your workshop when she hasn't been here, or has been asleep." James studied Jefferson seriously. "What's going on?"

Jefferson shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"You have your daughter back with you," James answered. "I'm sure I don't need to tell you that you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of your child."

"How would you know that?" Jefferson asked, trying to draw the focus off of him. "You gave up your child."

James' face didn't change, but he answered quietly, "I had to give Emma up if I wanted to save her. And I'm going to get her back. Maybe it'll take a while to build our relationship when I do get her back, but I'm prepared to work on it. And I know that wearing myself out won't help either of them. You have your daughter with you. You have a life with her. You don't want to carry on wasting that time."

"I'm doing this for her." And because he wanted to... atone... but Jefferson wasn't prepared to say that out loud.

James shook his head slowly. "You're not doing this for her. You're doing this for yourself."

Jefferson shook his head, a denial instantly on his lips. "Everything I'm doing, I'm doing for her."

James held eye contact with Jefferson. "You're doing it for yourself. You want to make yourself feel better. If you were really doing this for Grace, you'd be working with me to find a way back to Fairyland."

"I don't want to risk your safety." Jefferson spoke without thinking, but it was easier to say it than he'd thought. "With Snow and Emma gone, everyone is looking to you for leadership and to tell them what to do. They can't survive here on their own. I'm the expert with the hats - and with my magic back, I can find and test a way of returning to Fairyland."

"What if something goes wrong?" James asked.

"It won't," Jefferson answered. "I won't do anything unless I'm completely sure it's safe." He hesitated, wondering if his daughter had lied to him and that she'd just told him about the assignment so that he would let James into the house. He couldn't blame her for taking after him, but it did concern him if she'd lied so easily.

James nodded, almost as if he'd made some kind of decision. He then moved forward and closed a hand around Jefferson's wrist.

Jefferson immediately tried to pull his wrist free of James' grip. He could have used his powers to force the Prince to let go of him, but he wasn't prepared to actually hurt James. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to show you that you don't have anything to prove to anyone. And if you really want to atone, there are better and safer ways of doing so." James stepped past Jefferson, pulling him along behind and through to the living room.

Spanking was actually quite common in Fairyland, enough so that Jefferson had no doubts that that was what was about to happen. He did try tugging at his wrist again, but James simply kept his grip tight and, entering the living room, started over to the couch.

"I'm not a child," Jefferson said.

"I don't think you've had anyone care enough to make the effort to discipline you." James took a seat on the couch and pulled Jefferson round to the side and then forward over his lap, bracing an arm around his waist. "I at least had parents who cared enough to correct my behaviour when it was necessary."

Jefferson would have argued against James' assumption that he hadn't had parents who cared for him - even if it was true - but he was more concerned about the position he was now in. "That doesn't work, since I doubt you care about me any more than they did."

"Maybe we haven't got on that well in the past, but we're still in this world together - and if we work together, we'll have more chance of finding a safe way back to Fairyland."

Jefferson was about to reply, but his words were cut off by the sharp smack that landed right in the centre of his backside. He jerked a bit and then nearly bit his tongue when a second smack landed directly on top of where the first had.

As James continued landing sharp, stinging smacks over Jefferson's bottom, right down to his thighs, Jefferson couldn't help shifting a little. He was a little shocked by just how much this spanking hurt over his trousers, since he would have expected them to offer at least some form of protection.

By the time James reached his thighs for the second time, Jefferson couldn't hold still, no matter how much he hated squirming around like a child. He blamed the fact that he was so tired for the reason there were tears in his eyes already. It certainly had nothing to do with the fact that someone actually cared enough to step in when he was so close to exhausting himself.

The end of the third circuit made the tears begin to slip out of Jefferson's eyes. They began to fall silently, but James apparently realised they were falling, because he stopped and rested a hand on Jefferson's back, gently stroking.

Jefferson's pride had him pushing himself up from James' lap, even though a part of him liked the comforting touch. Suddenly realising how tired he was, he carefully sat down on the couch, keeping his eyes forced open.

"If you're tired, all you're going to do is make mistakes," James said. "You should sleep for a bit before we eat."

Jefferson shook his head. "I want to be here for Grace."

"Do you trust me?"

After a brief hesitation, Jefferson nodded.

"Then trust me to take care of your daughter while you rest. You can even sleep here on the couch. I won't take her away from here - and I'll wake you up after a couple of hours."

Jefferson thought that he should continue to argue, but he was really too tired to find the words. Besides, surely it wouldn't make that much of a difference if he just let his eyes close for a few minutes...

The End