Summary: AU from mid Season 3. Dean was cursed in a previous life by a witch. He has three lifetimes to earn the love of an angel, or his soul will belong to the witch for all of eternity. It sounds generous, but there's only one problem: angels don't exist. Castiel was assigned a top secret mission—find Gabriel. But in order to do so without alerting Michael or Raphael, he has to Fall. Now he has to find Gabriel and avoid angels, all while learning what it means to be human.

Disclaimer: Sorry, I don't own anything besides the DVDs. Sadly :'(

A/N: So, this story was months in the making for the Dean/Cas Big Bang on LiveJournal. It's all done and pretty, so hopefully I'll get all the chapters posted here quickly. I've got class the rest of the day, and plus, it's Halloween!

And there's lovely art for the story too! Check out sharys_aogail on LiveJournal and DeviantArt, she made some gorgeous pieces :D So go, check it out! ...After reading this, of course! Links are in my profile.

Happy Halloween!

Chapter One

1345 - Rome

Max grinned as he picked up a small pebble. He took aim, watching as it hit the shutter on the second floor. He waited a few moments as a dim light flickered and the shutters were opened. A young woman, pale with red hair, leaned out the window. "Max," she gasped, a smile stretching her full lips. "I thought you would not show."

"My Rossa, I longed to be here sooner," Max said, "but Al would not sleep." His younger brother demanded that Max tell him stories of ancient heroes until he fell asleep.

Rossa smiled, her pale blue eyes sparkling in the candlelight. "Well then, you better hurry up here before someone notices you." She said and turned away from the window, leaving it open. Max quickly scaled the house, reaching the second floor window and slipping inside, closing the shutters behind him.

He had been trying to seduce Rossa for a week now, ever since he saw her. He was no stranger to sex and knew from rumors that she was not either.

When he turned around, he found Rossa standing at the edge of her bed, her clothes discarded. She smiled at him, beckoning him closer. He complied, shedding his own clothing before taking her gently.

"Beautiful," he said later, gazing into Rossa's eyes.

She smiled coyly, "I am sure you say that to all the women."

Max returned the smile, green eyes raking her form appreciatively. "Only you, Rossa. Only you."

It was a lie, of course. Were he to speak the truth, it could end disastrously for him. He certainly did not want an angry father after him. He left just before the sun rose, returning to his small home. His father gave him a stern look as he entered. "I was just checking the—"

"I do not wish to hear it, my son. Get washed up and meet me in the shop," his father intoned before leaving the house. Max let out a sigh, before changing into a fresh pair of clothes and washing his hands and face.

"Where did you go?" Al asked as he stumbled out of bed, brown hair sleep-mussed and yawning. He was barely twelve and still rather small for his age. Max had a feeling that he would hit a growth spurt soon, and knowing his luck, Al would be taller than he.

"I could not sleep, so I took a walk," Max said. It was not a complete lie, he was unable to sleep without going to Rossa, and he had taken a walk. "Now, get some food into you and get dressed or you will be late for your lessons."

Max grabbed a chunk of bread before leaving the house and heading towards the shop. His father was a blacksmith, well-known throughout the city of Rome. Max was grateful to learn the skill, and hopefully inherit the family business when he was older. His little brother, however, had a thirst for knowledge. Al was apprenticing for the Church, ever eager to learn.

A blonde woman bumped into him as he was turning the corner. "Oh, I am sorry," she said.

"No, the fault was mine," Max responded easily, smiling. The woman was beautiful, possibly even more so than Rossa. He felt arousal pool in his groin.

"But I insist," she said, leaning close and Max could smell her perfume. "Let me make it up to you…"

"My name is Max. I have somewhere to be, but if you wish, meet me here at sunset?" He offered, running a hand through the blonde curls.

"Of course. I will be waiting," she murmured, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before turning away. Max watched her go, gazing admiringly as her hips swayed in the tight dress she was wearing. He only moved once she was out of view.

Life was good, he thought as he entered the shop, more than eager for the day to slip away.

ooooo

Rossa sneered at the sight of Max in the arms of another woman. She had hoped that it was not true, that her sister had been mistaken. Max had been so sweet with her, she thought he was different than the other men. She was certain that it had been someone else that her sister had seen.

But when dusk approached, Rossa found herself wandering the streets of the neighborhood, despite her faith in Max. And when she spotted her light-haired lover, her heart clenched.

She ran, jealousy tugging her along. She would make him pay, and she knew exactly what to do. Once home, she locked her bedroom door behind her and crouched to the floor by her bed. There was a loose floorboard and she pried it open, carefully pulling out a leather-bound book. Etched on the front was a pentagram.

Rossa had found the book one day, discarded in a pile of waste. She had flipped through the pages, learning that it was a spell book. No one had seen her take it, and she had kept it hidden under the floor for months. Witchcraft was looked down upon; she had heard the rumors of hangings and she did not want to get caught.

She was unsure as to why she kept the book, instead of throwing it out. Rossa had never had the courage to use it before, but now she had a reason. She was thankful she had kept it.

Tonight, she would invoke the demon Tamara and beg for assistance.

It was days before she saw Max again. He was working for his father, while his little brother sat on a bench, reading a scroll. When Max spotted her, he let out an easy smile. "Rossa, I was beginning to worry. Your sister said you were unwell?"

"I am feeling much better, Max," she returned. "You see, I discovered that the man who I thought loved me, in the arms of another woman." Max blanched, green eyes widening. But Rossa continued, "So I sought advice. My master told me exactly what to do."

She pulled out a small dagger, closing her eyes as she began to chant. When she was finished, she drew the blade across her palm, cutting deep enough to bleed. "You have three lifetimes, Max, to earn the love of an angel," she scoffed at the word angel. "Should you fail, your soul belongs to me for eternity," Rossa informed, a twisted smile splitting her once-beautiful face.

"I'll even be generous. Your little brother can join you!" She began chanting again and Max fell to the floor, a sudden pain in his chest. He looked behind him and saw that Al was in a similar condition, before blacking out.

With the two males out cold, Rossa crouched beside Max. She cut open his shirt and drew a symbol on his chest in her own blood. She did the same with Al before leaving the shop in a hurry.

Present Day

Castiel could feel the air currents in his wings. A warm wind sifted through delicate secondary feathers and he stretched his wings wide, catching the current and rising higher. It had seemed like an eternity since he was last able to enjoy flying. His brother Michael had him working in the Library in an attempt to organize records. It was a tedious task, but Castiel kept his head down and worked diligently.

He could have been stationed at the Gates of Hell. He shuddered at the thought, having worked as a sentry for a few hundred years before being transferred. The screams of the tortured souls was something he could never forget and he was grateful he no longer had that particular task.

Feeling a shift in the wind, Castiel was carried downwards a ways before rising again. His thoughts returned to Heaven and how things have been differently lately. For instance, his own reluctance to do a job. Angels were meant to do their assigned tasks, no questions asked.

Heaven had been in chaos ever since their brother Gabriel had died. Though everyone had grieved the loss of the archangel, Castiel took it the hardest. Since he was created, Gabriel had taken him under his wing, teaching the fledgling everything he needed to know. Though all angels were brothers and sisters, Castiel felt that Gabriel was more of a brother than the others. And when he left, because Castiel knew his brother was still alive, he felt a pain in his chest that he knew was abandonment.

And that was another feeling that angels should not have. Angels should only feel the love of their Father, belief in Him and each other, and above all, they should be obedient.

Castiel had briefly entertained the idea of going after Gabriel. If he could, he would search all of Earth for his missing brother. But it was against regulation. It was complex, the Heavenly rules. Angels were not allowed to leave without permission, yet they were allowed to Fall, stripping out their grace and becoming human. Before Gabriel had left, one of his sisters, Anael, had Fallen. As it were, she was considered a traitor. To the angels, she had turned her back on her own kind to become human.

Once he was high enough, he closed his eyes and drew his wings in tightly. He fell, headfirst, the air rushing past him. The seconds inched by as he dove, letting the drop clear his thoughts.

Castiel never mentioned it to anyone apart from Gabriel, but he had always thought that humans were fascinating creatures. They had so many emotions that caught Castiel's interest. He enjoyed watching them when he could. But he wasn't supposed to be curious. He shouldn't pay so much attention to humans. He was supposed to serve Heaven, not entertain thoughts of humanity.

But Michael and Raphael were always arguing. He had never seen either brother, but had always heard their arguments. Their booming voices always seemed to battle for dominance and Castiel doubted. Angels were not supposed to show anger towards one another. And for that matter, they were not supposed to doubt.

His wings snapped open, primary feathers catching the current and landing gently. Castiel found himself in his favorite Heaven. It was a grassy field, with countless flowers and even more colors. Tall trees were lined the edges of the field and a gentle breeze picked up, the grass and leaves swaying. There was a man flying a red kite in the distance, but he never noticed Castiel.

"Castiel," a voice broke through his thoughts. Castiel turned to find his brother, Joshua, standing only a few yards away. He had a gentle smile on his face as he gazed upwards. "You always were the most graceful in flight."

Castiel felt himself flush at the compliment, "Joshua, it is good to see you." Joshua was usually found in the Garden and he was one of the select few that talked directly to their Father. That he had complimented Castiel was very rewarding. This revelation had him confused. Again, there was another emotion that he shouldn't have.

"You've noticed it, haven't you?" Joshua continued after a beat, "emotions, feeling things angels' shouldn't. Doubt, pride, anger."

The field disappeared. Replacing it was a small room with cream walls and hardwood flooring. In the center was a table, hand carved with matching chairs. On the walls were various paintings, some he recognized as Van Gogh and da Vinci; others he was less familiar with. It was a beautiful room, but had a cold feeling to it that was difficult to describe.

"God is gone," Castiel murmured.

"He has been gone for awhile," Joshua affirmed, fingers linked behind his back as he stood tall. "Gabriel was the last to see Him, but he is also gone." He moved to stand in front of a painting of wildflowers, trailing a hand along the frame gently. "Raphael wants to continue with the Plan. Michael does not, as I'm sure you've heard. With our Father gone, everyone is uncertain as for our course of action. For the first time, we are divided."

Castiel watched Joshua curiously, taking in his words. He had suspected what his brothers' argument was, but could never confirm it until now. "What will happen?"

Joshua turned to face the younger angel, a grave expression on his face. "A civil war, most likely. Our brothers and sisters will take sides and fight one another. It is regrettable, but at this rate it will happen."

Castiel frowned, wondering why Joshua was telling him this. After all, Castiel was just a lower angel, a grunt. His brother must have noticed his confusion as he continued, "I came to you, Castiel, because I believe you can find Gabriel. Everyone believes him to be dead, but you and I both know that is not true."

The younger angel held in his surprise. He had told no one of his suspicions because if Gabriel had wanted to disappear, then Castiel refused to turn against his closest brother. "How will I do that? We cannot leave without Falling," Castiel said, thinking of his sister Anael. He wished he knew how she was, but the Fallen could not be found without permission from one of the archangels. With that thought in mind, he knew she was safe.

"What I am about ask of you, Castiel, is the most important task I could give anyone. And I want you to think carefully before answering." When Castiel nodded after a moment, Joshua continued, "Your mission is to find Gabriel. Bring him home, Castiel."

Castiel was about to speak, but Joshua cut him off quickly, "Angels are not allowed on Earth without permission from Michael and Raphael. But, there is nothing against Falling."

Castiel's eyes widened at that, "Brother, what are you saying?"

Joshua smiled, "You will Fall, become human, in order to search for our missing brother. However, it will not be the same method as Anael. We do not have that kind of time. I will bind your grace, so it will be returned to you upon completion of the mission. You will not be reborn like Anael, you will be given a human form that is similar to you."

"I accept," Castiel said quickly, feeling a strange bubbling emotion. Excitement, he concluded. Because he would get to view Earth as a human, see the wonders from their perspective.

Joshua's brown eyes bored into Castiel, searching his grace for anything negative. "Listen carefully, Castiel. You will be marked as a traitor. If any of our brothers come across you, they are obligated to kill you."

The younger angel paused as he mulled over the consequences. He was unsure if he would be able to complete the mission, knowing that his brothers and sisters would believe him to be a traitor. But Heaven depended on him and he knew that if God wished it, then Castiel would find Gabriel. That thought strengthened his decision. His voice was strong when he said, "I'll do it."

There was a sparkle in Joshua's eyes as he said, "I have faith in you, Castiel. Now, this will hurt."

Joshua reached forward, placing his hands on either side of Castiel's face. He closed his eyes as the older angel chanted. A burning sensation built at his temples where Joshua held him, increasing in intensity until his head throbbed. The pain slithered down his body like tiny webs and his whole body felt like it was on fire. It built to the feeling of thousands of angel blades piercing his flesh, not an inch spared. He tried to scream but even that made the pain worse. He could no longer hear Joshua's voice, the pain too overwhelming.

He felt as though he were falling, the pain suddenly gone. He tried to stretch his wings, to ride the currents, but could no longer feel them. Castiel jerked up, panting heavily. It was dark and cold and wet. He was sitting in shallow water and his body shook from the temperature. He clumsily climbed over the small wall that contained the water, landing on cool tile. He leaned back, still panting. He felt oddly light without the weight of his wings and his balance was off.

His stomach clenched tightly and Castiel frowned, looking down. His fingers splayed across his pale flesh, trying to discern the cause of the pain. But it only continued and felt like something was trying to work itself upward. He lunged forward, his throat working to push out his stomach's contents, which was practically nothing.

When his body finally calmed down, the pain no longer affecting him, he sat back and glanced around, taking in his surroundings and trying to regain control of his breathing. It took him a moment, but he realized he was inside a building. Behind him was a large fountain, which explained the water. Rising slowly, Castiel used the edge to steady himself.

Once his balance returned, he examined his body. He appeared the same, just more solid and missing his wings. Around his neck was a silver chain with a rounded sapphire attached to it. The stone contained his grace and Castiel was thankful that he could hold on to it. He walked slowly, taking in his surroundings and not at all bothered by his nudity.

He appeared to have landed in some sort of shopping center. There were several small stores lined along the walls with various objects. In the dim lighting, he could see that many sold clothing. He knew that most humans were not fond of nudity, so Castiel decided to find a suitable outfit.

But first, he had to figure out how to get inside the stores. All of them seemed to be barricaded by a sort of metal wall. He stopped at one particular store where the metal wall was raised about a foot off the ground. Eying it carefully, he decided to crawl under the contraption. It was rather easy and once inside, he searched the clothing wracks for something to wear.

He paused, glancing at a mannequin. Tilting his head, he studied the clothes. A white button-up top was tucked into a pair of black pants, with a black suit over the top. A blue scrap of cloth hung around the neck. Castiel reached forward, running his fingers along the blue fabric. He tugged at it and it loosened enough to slip off the mannequin.

"What is your purpose?" He murmured, surprised at his own voice and how deep it sounded. He brought a hand to his throat as he spoke, feeling his vocal chords move, "I am Castiel, a fallen angel."

The words struck a nerve within him, his stomach churned and his chest felt tight, though for an entirely different feeling than earlier. He realized he was feeling sadness. As a fallen angel, his brothers and sisters would attack him if they came across him. They would believe him to have betrayed his own kind for humanity.

Forcing the thoughts away, he slipped the blue cloth around his neck and proceeded to undress the mannequin. It took even longer to recreate the look on his own body as he fumbled with the buttons of the shirt and pants. The clothes hung loosely on his frame, but they would do. His body shivered again, even with the new clothing. He spotted a brown overcoat hanging on one of the wracks and slipped that on, too.

He was about to exit the store when he remembered that he needed shoes. Being a human was more complicated than he thought.

The first pair of shoes he grabbed were too small, wouldn't even slip onto his feet. The second pair was better, though uncomfortable; they rubbed his feet as he walked around. So he found a similar size in a pair of black shoes that were a little loose, but much more comfortable. He left the store then, sliding underneath the metal wall, and attempted to find an exit.

The lights on the building were on now, he noticed as he walked down the wide aisle. Soft music began to play and he could see the early morning sun through the windows on the ceiling. A pair of elderly women were walking toward him, their movements exaggerated. His heart rate increased and he could feel sweat beading at his forehead. Was he not supposed to be here? They were talking rapidly and didn't even spare Castiel a glance as they passed. He let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

He passed a few more people before he found the exit. A young woman was near the doors, stretching her legs. Her outfit was similar to the other women, bright and clingy with her hair tied back. After stretching, she took off at a much faster walk.

Humans were certainly confusing, he thought as he left the shopping plaza.