Chapter 15

The moment my eyes locked with his I could see that Adrian had been right. His eyes were filled with the same haunted expression I had often seen in my own. I could almost feel the pain he was in as I stared into them and from that moment I somehow knew that everything would end up being okay. Maybe not right now and it would definitely take some work, but the love I saw behind the pain made my heart swell in a way it hadn't since our night in the cabin.

I felt silent tears falling down my face and I said the only thing I could think of at the moment, "I forgive you."

His eyes widened and he looked to be at a loss for words so I tugged his hand and forced him to stand up and follow me back to the kitchen. I made my way to the sink and turned on the faucet before sticking his bloody hands into the running water and gently washing away the blood. Once his hands were clean I grabbed the first aid box that Olena kept above the fridge and pulled his still silent body into the living room.

I pushed him gently onto the couch and started applying antiseptic to his cuts before applying band aids to the larger ones. His silence was starting to become unnerving so as I worked I finally said, "Say something."

He sucked in a breath before letting in out in a loud sigh, "I'm afraid if I say anything I will wake up and this will all be a dream."

"Do you feel the burn as I clean your cuts?" He nodded, "Then this is definitely not a dream."

He picked up the hand I was finished working on and pushed some of my hair behind my ear, "How can you just forgive me?"

I was silent for a minute as I thought over my words. "We both made mistakes. I should have realized it would be hard for you to be a dhampir after all you had seen and done. I shouldn't have pushed you to just return to normal. I was so stuck on the fairy tale ending that I thought I would get when I finally managed to save you that I didn't think about how everything affected you."

"That doesn't excuse what I did, Roza." He leaned his head back against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes. "The words I said to you were beyond hurtful. At the time I thought that I was protecting you from me because you deserve so much better than an ex-Strigoi lover. From the first moment I saw you in that window in Portland, you have been more important to me than my own life. It was stupid of me not to realize that it was the same for you."

I finished bandaging his hand and put up the supplies before leaning back into the couch beside him and taking his hand in my own. "Why do you think I left the academy to find you? Or why I broke Dashkov out of prison?"

He opened his eyes to look at me and for the first time since Lissa and I had managed to change him back, I saw awe in his face. "When I was first saved, I convinced myself that the only reason I wasn't Strigoi anymore was because of Lissa. It was irrational and I think even in the back of my mind I always knew it was you who truly saved me, but I had to push you away and I couldn't do that if I let myself believe that you were the only reason I was still alive."

I dropped my eyes from his and stared out our hands locked together. Being here with him even when they had issues to work out still felt amazing. It was as if after almost a year of being apart I was finally complete and where I was supposed to be. "When I left I'd convinced myself that there had to be something wrong with me that you had seen that made you not want me anymore. I thought Lissa must have seen it as well because I hadn't seen her in weeks and I was terrified that it would only be a matter of time before everyone noticed whatever it was that you two saw. Then I would be alone."

I almost cursed my need to be brutally honest with him when I heard him make a pained sound. It was silent for a second before he put his hand under my chin and pushed my face up to look him in the eyes. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, Roza. You are the most loyal, caring, and loving person I have ever met. You would put your life on the line for any of your friends and you would face the impossible just to save me. I love everything about you and I'm going to spend the rest of my life making sure you know it."

At that exact moment I felt Mason shift and kick my ribs. It made me smiled to think that Mason somehow knew we were stating to work things out and I moved Dimitri's hand to rest on the spot he had just kicked. Less than ten seconds later he kicked again and the most breathtaking smile filled Dimitri's face. It was the first time I had allowed him close enough to actually feel his son move and the thought made me feel guilty about keeping him from the miracle of our baby.

Dimitri knelt down beside the sofa and started whispering gentle words in Russian to our child. While I had begun to learn Russian I had yet to be able to pick up any real conversation, but from the few words I did understand I could tell he loved his son as much as I did and for the first time I actually began to believe that we would be a happy family one day.

I'm not sure how long I sat there while Dimitri talked to Mason, but eventually I felt the exhaustion overwhelm me and I let out a yawn.

Dimitri stopped talking and smiled at me before standing up and giving me his hand to help me get off of the sofa. "Come on, Roza. We need to get you to bed."

I wasn't sure that I wanted this night to end, but I knew that he was right. I let him lead me up my bed room and I crawled into bed. He leaned down and kissed my forehead and said, "I love you, Roza. Sweet dreams."

I watched him walk to the door, but I couldn't stand the sight of him leaving me again so instead I called out to him. "Sleep with me, Comrade?"

He turned back and smiled that same breathtaking smile I'd seen when Mason had kicked his hand and then he removed his pants and crawled into bed behind me before wrapping his arms around me. I sighed happily and just as I was falling asleep I whispered, "I love you, too."

The fog of Adrian's dream surrounded me almost immediately. This time we were at St. Vladimir's in one of the small pews at the small church. I smiled as I remembered the day I'd cleaned up in here with Dimitri and the time I had come to find him when I believed I might be going insane.

"Why did you pick this place?" I asked as I noticed Adrian standing a few pews behind me.

Adrian frowned slightly, "I didn't. I thought I'd let you pick, you must have been dreaming or remembering something about this place when I pulled you into the dream."

I smiled. It was entirely possible; although I was pretty sure I hadn't been asleep long enough to dream anything. "Twice in one night?"

"I had a proposition for you and its daytime here so it's not like I'm the one sleeping." He got sidetracked for a second and began to stare at the space around me. I was used to this treatment because he was always trying to be sure there wasn't too much darkness in my aura. "Did something happen between our last conversation and now? You're aura is practically glowing."

I felt the smile grow bigger on my face, "I talked to Dimitri."

He laughed, "From the look of you I can only imagine that it was a good conversation."

"I think it's all going to work out. I mean obviously we have to work on the trust issue, but you were right. We're miserable without each other and no matter what I said I wasn't over him."

"We all knew that, little dhampir. You were the only one trying to convince yourself that you were." He walked over and took a seat on the pew next to me. "This makes my proposition even better!"

I laughed, "What is your proposition?"

"I just got out of a meeting with by beloved aunt and she has informed me that with my new position working with the Moroi on offensive magic and training spirit users that I now can no longer keep from having a guardian. She's concerned that with my recent trips as well as the fact that I'm going to have to go between St. Vladamir's and court for teaching that it is important I get my own full time guardian."

"Well, that makes sense. I'm surprised you didn't have one already."

"When I was going to school I did, but when I moved back to court he requested a transfer to an old friend and it was approved. Since I was living a court I never saw a reason to get a replacement, but now that I'm starting to move around more I think it's a good idea." He paused, "I want you to be my guardian."

I looked up at him shocked, "But I can't right now, I'm as big as a house and about to pop out a baby."

He laughed, "I know that, Rose. I was talking to my aunt about it and she agreed that she thought you were a good option. I can get a temporary guardian while you finish off your maternity leave and then you can take your position a couple of months after Mason is born. The greatest part is that Lissa and I are teamed together to teach these classes so we will be traveling together most of the time. This way you and Dimitri will be able to stay together since he's Lissa's guardian."

He was right, it was a great idea and I knew that neither he nor Lissa would have a problem with us traveling with Mason. Both of them already loved our baby even if he hadn't been born yet. It also solved the dilemma of what I wanted to do with my life. I had already known that I wasn't going back to be Lissa's guardian simply because Dimitri and I couldn't guard together and while I did have the bond with Lissa, I no longer had the complete trust in her that I once had. Adrian and I had grown so close that the idea of guarding him was an easy decision.

"I can't believe that your aunt agreed that I was a good decision, but I'd love to be your guardian." I said.

He laughed, "I think once she realized that you and I weren't going to work out that she allowed herself to see what a great guardian you had become. Plus, I think she knows that we have our own special kind of relationship and she figures that there's no one better to guard me than someone who wants to keep me alive because they love me."

I began to laugh with him, "You haven't told her about your relationship with Vika have you?"

He blushed a little causing me to laugh some more, "I don't want to jinx it or give her a chance to threaten her off. I'm hoping to convince her to move to court when she graduates in a few months."

I knew that at one point in time Viktoria had never considered actually becoming a guardian after she graduated, but the recent events with Dimitri had caused her to change her mind. I think that almost losing her brother made her want to be more like him and she had decided to take up a guardian position for at least a few years.

Apparently I'd zoned off because a second later Adrian was shaking my shoulder, "Sorry, what?"

"So that's a yes right? I have to tell my aunt in a few minutes so that she can find me another suitable guardian if you decided to decline."

I smiled, "Yes, that's a yes."

He kissed my cheek and smiled, "Good, then I'll see you soon. I can't wait to tell Lissa that you agreed to come back."

Slowly the dream faded and drifted into a dreamless sleep.