The Prompt: Normany crew, baseballWell, it's playoff season in this anon's neck of the woods (let's go, Tigers!)

Shepard or another human crewmember tries to explain their love of baseball to the alien members of the crew. Reactions range from confused to intrigued.

Bonus points if they try to play a game and fail ensues.

The Fill:

There were certain cultural differences that could not be crossed, no matter how deep the friendship and bond. Even when it came to literal bondmates and those who had saved your life numerous times over. With these people, regardless of species, Shepard felt she could tell them anything and they would understand. Except when it came to sports, apparently.

"It's great. I spent hours watching it growing up."

Liara was smiling, obviously imaging a small, young Jane. "It sounds interesting."

"We should watch a game, sometime. On the extranet. Or maybe we could even play?"

The smile seemed to freeze. "Play?"

"Yeah! We can all play. There's enough of us to form a team. A small, non-regulation team, but so what?" It was something she couldn't be discouraged from. The Citadel was stocked with bats and balls, even though everyone refused to even try putting on jerseys or coming up with a team name.

But she was the captain, and so when she called everyone to the storage section of the Normandy, they all came. Williams, Cortez and Vega caught on immediately, and had to laugh. "Who gets what team?"

"Who wants to be team captains? No, you guys do it. Really, I'm tired of always being in charge. Hey, where are the engineers?"

"They're busy making sure the ship keeps flying."

"Commander, what's going on?" Javik did not look happy to be here. And alarmed by the bat Jane held.

"Hey, you can be a team captain, Javik. Team Vengeance. Yeah. Pick out your fellow players so we can get started. Who wants outfield?"

"I don't want any of them."

"That's how you play. Okay, okay, Williams, you be the other captain. C'mon. Team building exercises here. I know it's not Wrigley Field, but this will still be fun. "

"Okay. I'll take…Garrus. He's tall."

"Fine. But no biotics, guys."

The aliens seemed to huddle closer. "Why are you dividing us up?"

"Here, you go here, Samantha, you go with Ashley, you there. Yeah, don't make that face, Williams, Liara will probably be awesome at this. She's great at everything."

Liara already looked alarmed at the pressure. "Are we going to hit each other with these things? Why are you putting down pillows?"

"They're bases. Man, I wish Wrex was here. He'd probably like this."

"And hockey, Commander. We must never let the krogans know about hockey. Or rugby. Any contact sports, really. Or else there won't be any left to help us fight the Reapers."

"Why am I on his team?"

"What are you doing with that…glove?"

"Okay, you can go first, Williams. Team Ashley. Show them how to play. Javik, put someone on the bases."

Regardless of anything else, she got to see Javik pick Tali up and politely balance her on a pillow. Then do the same to Legion and Cortex and Vega. That alone made this all worth it. Although, nothing else was very entertaining. Liara nearly broke Ashley's nose with a practice swing, "No, we're not trying to hurt each other." The taunting only disturbed the aliens, except Tali who giggled at them all and left Jane assuming they were all curses in her native language.

"It's not a good game, Shepard! They barely even move! I swing, I miss and then I sit down? And this goes on for three hours? What are 'innings?' Why three bases? Why any of this?"

"It is an awesome game that's been around for three hundred years. An American pastime. Now get back onto the plate, Liara. It's fun. A group thing where we can all laugh and throw Gatorade on each other afterwards."

"Um. Shepard? We don't need to hear about your guys' sex life."

"It's not like that!"

Liara poked at the home plate with her boot. "This thing? It's a 'plate'? You eat off this? Is that what happens to the losing team?"

"No. God, Liara, you're such a nerd. If you were in P.E., you'd probably spend the time reading."

The asari looked at the bat in her hands like it was a vial containing a deadly virus. "I don't think this is wise, Shepard."

"C'mon. I'll show you how it's done. It's really all in the hips."

"Oh. Huh. That is interesting."

"Stop looking at my ass, just this once. See, the follow through? Someone be pitcher for right now."

Surprisingly, Javik stepped forward. Maybe the prothean just wanted to finally throw things at the primitives, or maybe he really was trying to play, and liking this. Or both. And he was good, despite never played before. If she didn't know better, she might have thought the protheans played something similar, rather than probably putting people to death if they dared play a game.

She swung, all power, and basically hit a home run as no one even went running after it except for Vega.

EDI's voice came on the overhead speakers. "Shepard. The main oxygen pipe has just been damaged. What exactly are you doing in storage?"

Joker's voice joined her. "What the hell are you guys doing to the ship?!"

Human instinct took over. Jane dropped the bat and ran for the entrance. "Run!" With her fellow humans at her heels, leaving the aliens behind to take the blame.