"So, you two are telling me that Iron Man, Hulk, and Captain America have somehow been reversed to the ages of toddlers? And that you cannot help me and Alfred with them?" Arthur Kirkland asked, sending a long glare over at Natasha Romanov and Clint Barton, who were actually the Black Widow and Hawkeye.

"Hey, don't blame us. Fury and the rest of S.H.E.I.L.D. have our asses everywhere, so we don't have the free time to take care of tots." Hawkeye protested.

"All right, you two be like that, but once your shield-y organization gets around to even finding a cure for them, Fury will need a word with me about all this baby-sitting bollocks."

"So you and Alfred will take them in?" Hawkeye asked, sounding almost relieved as he set a sleeping Bruce on the couch beside him.

"Yes, we will. Of course we'll have to prepare, but that will be nearly next to nothing to get done. One last thing: Do not think that your fellow agents can just come and any time and intervene with our care of these lads. We will call your headquarters as needed. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir!" the assassin duo responded, for Arthur was technically a superior, representing the country of Britain.

After that, they left the three sleeping toddlers in Arthur's care, who was awaiting Alfred's return from a White House meeting in D.C. Boy, would he be so excited for these kids.

It did not take long into Arthur's daily chore-doing that one of the children decided to wake up. Bruce of all toddlers.

"Where am I? I'm hungry." Bruce murmured, getting up on his knees on the sofa.

"You are at my house, where you and the other two will be staying for a short period. Please call me Arthur, if you must. If you're really hungry, just wait a few minutes, and I'm sure my boyfriend Alfred will be back with something to eat he usually does…Hopefully." Arthur answered, picking Bruce up into his arms.

Bruce giggled as his soft skin made contact with Arthur's red wool sweater. "Sweater tickly!" he laughed, grabbing at it, as if experimenting its feel in his hands. He most certainly still had the scientist in him still.

"Indeed it is. This keeps me warm, just like your cool Hulk shirt does." Arthur replied, poking at Bruce's t-shirt.

Right about then, there was a thump! And then there was the running figure of little Tony Stark going past him.

"Uh-ohhh! Tony's gonna get nakey now!" Bruce exclaimed, bouncing in Arthur's hold. "If Steve finds out, he's gonna get mad and cry!"

Arthur sighed and set Bruce down on the sofa again, patting his black hair gently. "Well, if that is what's about to happen, then I should go and stop him before he does. Stay here while I go and retrieve him, stay out of trouble."

For a moment, this scene reminded him of the days when he was taking care of Alfred and Matthew, though that was over two hundred years before. He almost hoped that taking care of these three wouldn't bring back painful memories, but who knows? They probably would, his mind was truly a mess.

Arthur ran out of the room once he got a "Yes, sir." from Bruce, and it did not take much looking down the main hall before he eventually found a stark-naked (pun intended) Tony exploring Arthur and Alfred's bedroom. When Tony realized another presence in the room, he turned like he was going to leave, only to see Arthur.

"Ah…..Oops?" Tony muttered, covering his little manhood with his still chubby hands. At least the boy-genius had some form of modesty.

"Quite an oops, Tony. Come over here. I'm not punishing you if that's what you're thinking. I only intend to find you clothes so Steve doesn't get upset." Arthur said calmly, patting a spot on the bed as he sat on it.

Tony complied and crawled onto the bed next to Arthur, who was then opening a chest of shirts and other odd clothing pieces at the foot of the bed. The boy quickly caught sight of a fancy-looking pirate hat, and tried to reach it, only to have Arthur block him. "That hat is very important to me. You will not touch it. Understood?"

"Sorry, Mr. Arthur." Tony murmured, leaning into Arthur's side, putting his thumb in his mouth, though he would later deny it.

"If you are extra good this evening, then I might try to get you a pirate hat of your own, if you want. Now let's get you into this shirt."

Arthur detached Tony from his side and presented him with an Anarchy In The UK shirt that was definitely oversized for the nearly four-year-old. Tony immediately grabbed it and attempted to get it over his head. After he struggled for a good minute trying to get his head through the sleeve hole, Arthur took control and helped out, getting it on quickly.

Then the door opened, revealing a sobbing Steve and a worried Bruce. Arthur got up off of the bed and went over to them, crouching down at their level so they could talk directly to him. "Oh, what's the matter here, you two?" Arthur inquired, letting Steve tumble into his lap.

"There was a spider on the floor, and Steve got scared. I told him that you were here somewhere, and we found you!" Bruce replied, sitting next to him on the floor.

Arthur looked down at Steve as the boy buried his head into his sweater. Steve greatly reminded him of Alfred, which brought back the colony memories once more. He could nearly see it as if it were there. Steve was Alfred, having just been spooked by the latest 'ghost', and Matthew was Bruce, telling Arthur what had happened and reassuring Alfred that everything would be all right.

"Uh, Mr. Arthur. Are there any toys here? I'm bored…And hungry! I want a grilled cheese sandwich!" Tony whined, slamming his hands onto the bed, snapping Arthur out of his remembering.

"Very well. I might be able to fix something up really quick, if only to keep you from losing your minds. Follow me to the kitchen."

Arthur got up off the hardwood floor; Steve cradled in his arms, and made his way out of the room. Tony and Bruce followed suit with the patter of their little feet. They talked about training pants, which reminded him that he would need to get some from the store that evening, more for Bruce and Steve then Tony. He then realized that he didn't know how old they were.

Once the Brit and the three tots got to the kitchen, there stood Alfred next to the table, which had five bags of….McDonald'. Figures, as it is Alfred.

"Hey guys! I heard about the new troops, haha! Thought everyone'd be hungry, so I went in the Drive-Thru and got some good 'ol Mickey D's!" Alfred laughed, going over to greet them.

"Yes! Food for me! I've been hungry since almost forever!" Tony cheered, getting a snippy scientific muttering from Bruce saying how he was wrong about the 'forever' concept.

Bruce then turned his attention to the Happy Meal boxes and white meal bags. "Is there an Apple Pie in there?" he asked timidly, going over the chair next to where Tony had sat.

"Yeah, even though I was gonna eat it; you can have it if you want!" Alfred replied, looking over to be sure Tony wasn't getting into mischief. He had hung around with Tony before, so he knew how the former playboy acted.

"Food?" Steve questioned softly, wide baby-blue eyes filled with a childish wonder.

"Yeah, there's food for you too, little guy. Can you feed yourself?" the American implored, sitting next to Tony.

"Uh-huh. Table too high though…." Steve replied, looking at the seating with concern as he fidgeted in Arthur's arms.

"I'll just let you sit in Alfred's lap. I'm sure you don't mind, do you, Alf love?" Arthur consoled, looking at Alfred with a deadly glare, getting an 'ohhh' from Tony.

"Of course! Hand him over here! He can sit in my lap while he eats his meal."

Arthur passed Steve over to his lover, who neatly put the toddler in his lap. Even the couple extra inches, he needed the older man's help with passing the food over to him.

At the end of the meal, Arthur seemed to be the only one who hadn't gotten his face or front mussed with sauces and catsup.

"Alfie, Tony looks funny. Goopy Tony!" Steve giggled, bouncing in Alfred's lap as he observed Tony covered in large globs of ranch sauce.

Bruce and Alfred laughed along with Steve as Arthur went and began to wipe the sauce off of Tony's face with a cloth. "You sure did get messy, didn't you?" he chuckled, sending a quick swipe down Tony's cheek.

"Well, I did keep missing my mouth, but only on accident! Bruce's story about the Glo-bunnies was really cool!" Tony protested, sitting as still as a toddler could as his face was cleaned.

"Hey, kiddos. I want to ask you guys a few questions so I can get to know you better, how's that sound to you? You don't have to answer anything I ask if you don't want to." Alfred asked. All the boys nod, letting him proceed. "First things first, just how old are you anyway?"

"I'm gonna be four soon!" Tony shouted, promptly getting told by Arthur to 'use his inside voice'.

"I'm three now, Mister Alfred." Bruce answered with a small smile and three chubby fingers held up.

"Two." Steve said bluntly, quickly shoving his left thumb into his mouth.

"Awesome, and next thing. Are you guys potty-trained? I just wanna know so we don't have any potty problems around here." Alfred shooted the next question.

"I still wet the bed at night…But Tasha said that I could probably wear both pull-ups or big-boy undies!" Tony replied, looking proud as he said the last part.

"I wear pull-ups all day and night. But I'm learning how though. I can go without having someone around, or so Mister Clint said." Bruce said, swinging his legs back and forth.

"Diapee. Tasha says dat I can't wear pull-up yet." Steve said sadly, leaning into Alfred's chest.

Later on, at Target

Soon after the meal, the group of five was in Target, currently finding things for the three boys to have while they stayed at Arthur and Alfred's place. They were in the clothes section, and Tony was extremely bored once he had had a say in his pajamas. Arthur had said that he and Alfred would pick out their day clothes, and that they would not complain 'or else', whatever that meant.

Of course Steve wouldn't complain. He was only a dumb-butt two-year-old who couldn't care less as long as he was attached to Alfred at the hip. Bruce probably wouldn't complain either, he wouldn't dare get himself into trouble for some clothes.

The Stark boy decided right then and there that he would make his way to the toy isle. He had seen it on the way to this isle, so all he had to do was backtrack there, and then go back. He highly doubted that Alfred and Arthur would be going anywhere, so he figured that he'd be fine as long as he got back quickly.

He checked to be sure that no one, not even Steve, was looking at him. That was all-clear. Now all he had to do was bolt. That's just what he did thirty-milliseconds later.

Soon, he was running down the big, tiled "main road" of the store, looking left and right for the toy isle. It did not take long for him to find the display that had caught his eye when he had passed. The display housed a large Iron-Man action figure. It was so cool! The figure was perfect, as if he invented it himself. Oh, how he wished he had. Or at least been a part of it somehow. Red and gold were his favorite colors, and the face had the same determined look he had given himself in the mirror when he was still in the clothing isle. This was totally his hero.

"I gotta ask Mr. Arthur to buy this for me! This is awesomest robot ever!" He said cheerfully, hopping on his toes in excitement.

Before he could go any further, a hand grabbed his shoulder and steered him around. It was Arthur. Boy, he did not look happy. Tony tried to struggle his way out the grasp, only to have it tightened.

"Tony. Why in Christ's name are you here? Do you even know how scared we all were!?" Arthur asked, trying so hard not to yell at the child, knowing that that would not go well. "We thought that you had been kidnapped!"

"I…I-I'm sorry, Mr. Arthur! I wasn't going to be gone long! Clothing shopping was boring, so I came over here to look at the Iron Man action figure!" Tony said, trembling under Arthur's hand.

"But you never told anyone, and we never saw you leave, when we saw that you were gone, we instantly thought the worst. Do you know how nerve-racking that is?" Arthur then sighed heavily before letting go of Tony's shoulder. "Tony, love. Don't do that again, do you understand me?"

"I won't ever-ever-ever go away without telling someone ever again. I'm really sorry that I made everyone upset." Tony stammered, trying to keep the tears that threatened to come out from escaping.

"Good. Now let's go back to everyone else and you will apologize to them."

Arthur offered his hand, which Tony gratefully took, liking the warm, protected feeling it gave him. Certainly not like a robot's cold hand. Maybe Mr. Arthur was a slightly better person than Iron Man. Just maybe.

Once they got back with the rest of the group in the electronics section, Tony quickly apologized to everyone, getting forgiveness from everyone. Of course it took Steve a minute before he forgave, but that was because he was entranced by the large, HD televisions.

"Tony, come over here for a second will you?" Alfred called over from where he was at the DVDs, close enough to Steve so he could keep an eye on him.

Tony reluctantly walked away from Arthur over to Alfred, afraid that he was in trouble with him too. Boy, would he be surprised.

"I know you haven't had your best evening, so I thought that you could pick out a couple DVDs like Bruce and Steve got to. Do you want to?"

"Okay. Can they be anything?" Tony asked, looking at the DVDs with wonder.

"As long as it's appropriate, like, not Titanic. Or 300. And especially not Sweeny Todd."

Tony nodded in understanding, and then went down the shelves, not taking long before he found the DVD he wanted. It was "The Tigger Movie". He thought that it would be good, so he took the DVD off of the shelf and ran back over to Alfred, who was reading the back of a Johnny Depp movie DVD.

"Great!" Alfred said, looking away from the DVD. "You can just put that one in the cart, and you can pick out one more if you want."

"Okay! This is actually kinda fun, Mr. Alfred!" Tony cheered, hugging Alfred's leg, catching him by surprise.

"I'm glad to hear it, now go pick out your next movie. We're not going to stay here much longer. We gotta get you three a bath and then right on to bed when we get home."

Tony went back over to the cartoons he had been looking at, when he quickly saw one that looked just as good as the last. This one was called "Captain America: The First Avenger"

When he showed Alfred this next choice, the American smiled a small smile, as if he was almost pained by it.

"Is something wrong with my choice, Mr. Alfred? I'll put it back if you don't want me to get it." Tony asked worriedly, now filled with hesitation.

"No, no. That's just a really sad movie is all. You ready to go to the checkout and then home?"

"Okay, I'm not tired though, so I'm not going to bed or anything like that."

"Whatever you say, kiddo. But you'll probably be saying different when we get home."

At Home, not quite two hours later….

Steve was having a jolly good time as he was washed by Arthur, who thought he was just the most adorable thing when he was happy. The blond was playing with some bath-tub toys he had gotten at Target, and was getting scrubbed gently by Arthur, who was playing pirates with him using his non-scrubbing hand.

"Arggh mateys! I have landed ashore on Steve-Island! Now I shall go and plunder some treasures!" Arthur growled in his ever-so-good pirate speech, pushing a boat onto Steve's leg.

"Where will ye find twesure on Steve-iswand?" Steve asked, giggling as the foam boat tickled his leg.

"On belly-button canyon, of course!" Arthur replied, tickling the boy's belly-button, getting out some wet, gray lint.

"Eww!" Steve laughed, trying to push away the tickling hands.

"Aye, I seem to 'ave found some rare sliver here!"

Meanwhile, Alfred was upstairs trying to get Tony and Bruce to stop playing with their new toys long enough to get into pajamas.

"If you don't stop anytime soon, Steve will be asleep before you!" Alfred said to the two boys, who chose to ignore him and continue playing "Iron Man vs. The Hulk" on Tony's bed.

"RAWRR! HULK SMASH!" Bruce yelled, clashing his figure against Tony's Iron Man figure.

Tony pretended that the figure had been slightly shaken, but then got up again, making 'whooshing' sounds as Iron Man attacked the Hulk again. "Iron Man has really strong armor, not even Hulk can smash!" he indicated as the Hulk went down, Bruce making groaning noises.

"Oh nooo! Hulk reverts back thanks to Iron Man!" Bruce exclaimed, placing his figure down on the bed next to him.

"All right boys, you really need to get in your jammies so we all can go to bed." Alfred said, picking Bruce up off of the bed, then placing him on the floor in front of the dresser that Tony and Bruce would be sharing.

"Can I wear my Hulk pajamas Mister Alfred?" Bruce asked, looking at him expectantly.

"Only if you say the magic word, Brucie."

"Uh…Is that please? Or was it Thank you?"

"You had it right the first time, kiddo. Now you say 'Thank you' because I'm going to let you wear your Hulk pajamas."

"Oh! Thank you, Mister Alfred!"

Tony watched as Bruce was dressed into his pull-ups and pajamas, and wanted so badly to stay up later. But tonight, he was going to be a good boy, because he knew that Mr. Arthur and Mr. Alfred would appreciate it if he didn't raise any more heck. He did decide to ask why he had to go to bed at only 7:30, though.

"Uh, Mr. Alfred. Why do Bruce and I have to go to bed before eight? What's so special about 7:30?" the boy asked, peering over the edge of the bed.

"Because that's when most kids go to bed. It's right before all the good not for little kid shows come on TV and it gives kids time to go to sleep before the show comes on." Alfred explained, slipping the top over Bruce's head.

"Oh. Okay. I just wanted to know."

"Sure thing, Tony. Now why don't you come over here and let me help you get dressed. Bruce, go on over to your bed and wait until I'm done with Tony here."

Bruce ran over to his green and purple bed and quickly climbed on, going under the covers. Tony slid off of his red and yellow bed, then going over to Alfred.

Before Alfred could do anything though, Arthur appeared at the doorway, Steve in his arms, nearly asleep. "I wanted to let Steve say night-night to everyone before he conked out. Say 'night-night' Stevie." Arthur hummed to the boy in his arms.

" 'ight 'ight." Steve yawned, then burying his face back into Arthur's sweater, showing the back of his Captain America pajamas.

"Good night, Stevie. I'll be in there to tuck you in once I get these two rascals in bed, okay?" Alfred said, knowing that he would get no reply.

"Good night, Steve!" Bruce said from his bed as he peeked out from under his green blanket.

"Good night, Steve." Tony said plainly, trying to suppress a yawn of his own.

Arthur smiled and walked off down the hall, going to put Steve in his bed in what used to be one of the three guest bedrooms. (Bruce and Tony are using another one.)

"Okay, Tony. I'm being super-super nice and letting you pick out the design on your pull-ups tonight. Iron Man or Hawkeye?" Alfred asked, pulling out two of them so Tony could see.

"Why do I halfta wear pull-ups?" Tony asked, just wanting to sleep, all of a sudden.

"Because you wet the bed at night, or so you and Natasha say. Now do you want to pick or not, buddy?"

"You pick. I'm sleepy."

"Okay, Hawkeye it is. Lift you left foot up for me, would you?"

Alfred and Tony soon finished getting the younger into his Iron Man pajamas and into bed. Bruce was already asleep, holding his blanket to his chest protectively.

"I guess I don't need to do anything else for you guys tonight. Just like when I took care of Tennie and Tucky." He murmured, remembering when at separate times he had taken care of his fifty states as young children.

His experience with the states was the reason why S.H.E.I.L.D. had put him on this 'assignment'. He was damn good at his job, it was almost odd. It also was Arthur's colonies experience that made the duo even better. Though sometimes he'd lose his temper, he was still pretty good when he needed to be.

Alfred sighed as he flicked on the night-light he had gotten, just in case one or both of them turned out to be scared of the dark, and flicked off the main lights, leaving the room soon after. He hoped that Arthur wasn't getting too nostalgic at the moment. Hopefully Steve wasn't driving him down that depressing path.

When the American got into Steve's room, he found Arthur humming a lullaby softly to the child, who had apparently been crying, for he could hear faint sniffles in the direction of the crib.

"Hi guys. What's up in here?" Alfred whispered, walking over to the crib and peeking down inside to see Steve, looking up at Arthur (and now him) with wide blue eyes that seemed to have tears in them. He was clutching his teddy bear which he had named 'Bucky' for dear life.

"Steve got upset once I turned the lights off, he might be afraid of the dark, either that or he doesn't want me to leave. He won't answer my questions." Arthur replied, putting a hand through his dirty-blond hair in exhaustion.

"Oh, you poor thing. I'll be here until you fall asleep, will that make you feel better?" Alfred murmured, reaching a hand down and brushing some of Steve's hair out of his face.

"Yes Daddy. I'm sweepy." Steve whimpered, grabbing Alfred's arm with his free hand.

Alfred froze. Daddy? He in his long life had never heard Steven Rogers say the word 'daddy' towards him. This predicament made him shiver. Not even his states called him that. They preferred to call him Al, at the very least. "So I'm a daddy now, Stevie?" he asked, hoping the boy would respond.

"Yes, and Arthur is Papa." Steve replied, yawning again.

Alfred left it at that and waited for Steve to fall asleep, which didn't take long at all. Once the toddler was asleep, he turned to Arthur, and hugged him tight. "He called me 'daddy', Art. He actually called me that." The man whispered, almost feeling joy but really more fear going through his veins.

"Yes, yes you are, love. Isn't it an odd feeling, Alfred?" Arthur sighed, hugging him back while also guiding him out of the room.

"It's a feeling I've never felt before. Now….I almost don't want Steve to be cured, or any of the rest of them, for that matter. I've known all three of them for a pretty long time, and now I've just gotten attached all-over again. Just like I did ten years ago."

Arthur knew what he was talking about, but he refused to think of it more than that. Now that Alfred was his lover, Alfred shouldn't hang on to past lovers like that. It was absolutely childish and he had learned that the hard way centuries ago. He didn't want Alfred to ever go through that.

"Lovely. Let's just go to bed and rest our tired minds. I'm sure we'll be awakened by someone during the night, so we might as well get a head-start if we can." Arthur said, pulling Alfred into their room, where they immediately start to suck at each other's faces, for lack of a better description.

Sometime in the middle of the night….

Bruce couldn't sleep, not one little bit. Well, he had slept okay for a while, but now he was awake and no matter what he did, he couldn't go back to sleep. He tried all sorts of different positions, humming quietly to himself, even pacing around the room to make himself tired, all to no avail.

Then he got an idea. Maybe Mister Arthur could help him get back to sleep! That was brilliant, Banner! He thought to himself as he made his way over to the door, which was coincidentally next to Tony's bed. As he was opening the door, Tony shot up from under his covers, almost causing Bruce to scream. Instead, he hissed "What?!"

"Why are you leaving the room, Bruce?" Tony asked sleepily, looking over the bed at him.

"Because, I can't sleep, Tony. I thought that maybe Mister Arthur could help out or something like that."

"No Bruce. Sleep in my bed with me. It's warm up here, you'll go to sleep quickie-quick! I promise!"

"Well….okay. If your promise is right."

Tony was actually relieved inside when Bruce joined him on the bed. He had had a nightmare before he had woken up, and now Bruce would probably scare them away!

Once they got comfortable, it was only a short amount of time before they went to sleep.

All was good for the rest of the night.

TO BE CONTINUED….maybe!

Author's Note!

Hey peeps out there. I hope you enjoyed this awesome crossover story, and cannot wait for more to come! I just wanted to tell you guys that this is probably the most edited Fanfic chapter I've ever done. I actually typed more then I had in my notebook, and I deleted a scene, added three whole new scenes, and so forth.

So watch out for the next chapter, and hopefully, I'll have a name for this thing by then! xD

See you out on the web!

~Cuppycakes