A couple things...

1. This is not so much an outtake from chapter 87 as it is a non-episode related letter that fits in the timeline between chapters 87 and 88

2. To clarify… the date they're reading the letter is January 7, 2015, but it would have been written on January 9, 2013 (between the letters for Significant Others and Under The Influence)

(Spiral Bound Chapter 87.5)

January 7th, 2015

"Plans for Friday?" Castle murmured, stepping up behind Kate as she deposited her watch in her jewelry box and toed off her heels, losing a few inches in the process.

She faltered as his arms slipped around her from behind, her eyes lingering on the necklace that hung from the corner of the mirror. Her mother's ring dangled from the bottom curve of the chain, reflecting in the mirror as the dim light of the lamp caught the facets of the stone and the dulled but still golden band. She reached out subconsciously, reverently ran her index finger along the length of the chain, lightly brushing over the smooth rounded surface.

Last year was the first time Castle had ever kept her company on this day. The first year of their relationship, she slept at her own apartment and spent most of the day either alone or with her father, as was customary. When she arrived back home there was a small potted arrangement of flowers and a card sitting outside her door but no signs of Castle. The flowers took up residence on her dresser and, after changing into her pajamas and curling into bed, she called him, thanked him with a soft smile on her face.

When she woke the flowers were the first thing she saw and in that moment she vowed to include Castle in these traditions in the future.

Last year he woke early right alongside her and accompanied her in her early morning endeavors, taking the time to select his own floral arrangement in addition to Kate's traditional bouquet of lilies. He held her hand as they crossed into the cemetery, was right there beside her, one strong arm looped around her waist, grounding her, as they stood in front of the stone, Kate speaking softly in reminiscence.

Somehow, with him there she felt stronger, more complete than she had in a long time.

Despite her invitation, Castle opted out of lunch with Jim, feeling as though that tradition was not necessarily something in which he was ready to take part. Helping shoulder Kate's burden was one thing. Being the odd one out with two individuals who shared a love for the same person was different and he felt awkward at the thought of encroaching upon that. But when she explained, Jim seemed to understand, and being able to come home to Castle later that day all but made up for his absence at lunch.

"Come with me?" Kate asked by way of an answer, drawing him from his memory and back into the present.

"Of course. Whatever you want, Kate."

"No, I mean the whole day," she clarified, eyes seeking his in the mirror. "Come to lunch with us."

"Kate, I..." he hedged, uncertain.

She turned in his arms, locked her gaze with his. "It would mean a lot. To both of us."

Her father had said as much just a few days earlier.

Castle nodded slowly, considering.

"And to my mom," she added softly.

And really, how could Castle ever say no to that. "Yeah, okay," he agreed.

He sealed his promise with a kiss to her forehead, lingering for a moment before they separated, went about their bedtime preparations. When Kate emerged from the bathroom free of her makeup and dressed down into loose-fitting pajamas, Castle was seated on the bed reading from what appeared to be their journal. Kate switched off the bathroom light, joined him in the center of the large bed, arranging her legs beneath a pile of blankets.

"Reading?"

He lifted his eyes to her, a tentative smile on his lips, and she cocked her head questioningly.

"I uh..." he hesitated, unsure. "I remembered writing to you about your mom. It's the next letter. I mean, if you don't want to..."

"Castle."

He stopped mid-sentence, raised his eyes and was surprised to find a startling clarity in her features, eyes not forlorn but instead curious. She silently extended a hand and he passed her the journal, scooted up next to her and allowed his head to rest on her shoulder as she began to read.

Dear Kate,

I know today is a difficult day for you. I also know it's probably not a day you usually spend in the presence of others. As such, I'm not entirely sure what to say or do, so I'm writing to you instead.

I want to start by reminding you that I love you. No matter what happens today, that will never change. Your pain and sadness will never make you weak. It makes you human and it makes you that much more extraordinary that you've overcome so much and yet you're still here today fighting for justice.

What I'm trying to say is that I won't judge you for being sad or angry or in pain. I won't mind if you don't want to get out of bed or change or shower. I want you to know that. If you don't want me around, I won't hold it against you. If you do and you need to just curl up and cry it out, I'll be here to wrap my arms around you. If you want to talk or reminisce, I'm here to listen. And at the end of the day, no matter what you say or do, I'll still love you.

Please know that.

To be honest, I'm at a loss right now. You're still asleep in my bed, as you should be at three in the morning, but I don't know what will happen come sunrise. Will you stay here? Will you go back to your place? Will you want me to go with you?

I'm guessing you normally visit her grave, bring her flowers, maybe meet up with your dad?

I want nothing more than to be here to make today easier for you but I don't know how to do that without getting in the way of your traditions. I don't want to interfere. I'll just have to play it by ear.

In the meantime, I'll join you in bed once again, because I never tire of having you in my arms, watching you sleep, seeing your face when I wake.

I hope that wherever your mom is today, she's looking down on us and smiling. I'd like to think she would approve of us and that she and I would get along well; if she was anything like you, I'm sure I would have loved her. I can only hope the feeling would have been mutual.

Someday, I hope you feel comfortable telling me more about her. I wish so badly that I could have met her, gotten to know her. I have you and stories from your childhood of course, but I would love to know more. It seems like she was a remarkable woman.

Clearly that part of her lives on in you every day.

I know you'll never see these letters, but I hope that somehow my words will help you understand where I'm coming from. I hope they'll bring you some sort of comfort and hope on this day. I hope they remind you that I'm here for you in whatever capacity you need. Anything to make this day easier for you, Kate.

Love,

Rick

"Castle," Kate breathed, at a total loss for words because the ways that he knew her and admired her and loved her never ceased to completely amaze her.

He raised a hand to swipe a tear from her cheek, set the journal aside, freeing his other hand to twine with hers. "I'm sorry," he murmured, hating that his words had once again caused her tears.

But she shook her head before he had a chance to say more, smiled through the sadness. "It's not... it's... Castle, I'm just..."

She laughed awkwardly as she bumbled through the words, grasping for something, anything, to convey what his letter meant to her.

One of his hands fell to cup her jaw, slid around to the back of her neck, and Kate leaned into his touch. She blinked a few times to dry her eyes but she was still so completely overwhelmed. It was by no means the first time his words had affected her so deeply. Not at all. Hell, they'd been affecting her since long before he ever so much as spoke to her. But this was so much more, somehow.

Maybe because January ninth was just a couple of days away and perhaps it wasn't the best timing for reading this letter, but maybe it actually was. He'd always been so wonderful on this anniversary, so caring and willing to do anything she needed to make the day easier. But there was still a part of her deep down that often wondered how many times he could see her break before he finally decided he couldn't deal with someone who would never be completely whole.

(Truthfully, he made her feel more whole than she had in sixteen years.)

His words tonight, the gentle reminder of his faithfulness and devotion... it was exactly what she needed.

After a long moment, Kate gave up trying to speak, leaned in to meld their lips together. Castle responded tenderly and the kiss was gentle and sweet and everything that existed between them that could never be explained by words alone.

She pulled away first but only far enough to rest her temple against his and when she finally spoke, her words were a breath against his cheek, so quiet, meant for his ears alone.

"Thank you, Castle."

He hummed in encouragement, hand sliding down and across her shoulders as he embraced her tightly, awaiting the continuation of her thoughts.

"For always knowing exactly what to say."

Thoughts?