Erin sighed as she stared out at the bullpen from Dave's office. She had kept this secret for so long that she didn't think she would ever be able to tell a soul. And yet, he deserved to know. They both did. She had done so much to bury her past life, to distance herself from her brainy, academic, older sister that no one knew she was related to her. Not even her own son. Their own son. After all, she had raised him, away from her.

"Penny for your thoughts, Erin."

She turned and looked at her lover, feeling every one of her forty eight years weighing heavily on her. "I wish I could tell you here. I wish I could make this right. I just never expected us to fall back in love. And this could very well destroy us."

"Whoa, that sounds kind of serious, bella." He cupped her chin gently and raised her face up to look at his. "What is going on?"

She shrugged as she struggled not to cry. "I'm so sorry. Even if you hate me for the rest of your life, just know how sorry I am. I cannot live a lie any longer."

"Do you want to break up?"

Erin shook her head vigorously. "No! I love you, I will always love you, but you might want nothing to do with me after I tell you this."

Blake must have overheard her raised voice, as she looked up at them, a faint frown on her face. Erin shrank back into Dave, not wanting to deal with that woman on top of everything else that was about to happen. "Let's head out and talk then, Erin."
"Okay," she whispered, feeling defeated. She looked over at Spencer and felt a longing, deep in her heart, to tell him the truth as well. He deserved to hear it, after all. "Could we take your car? I don't think that I could drive right now."

"Whatever you need, bella." He wrapped his arm around her waist, leading her out into the throng. The others looked at her, she could feel their eyes on her, and she shrank again, wanting to disappear.

"Hey, wait up!" Agent Morgan's voice cut through the murmur of work and she paused, knowing he would follow them if they didn't stop. "Is everything all right, Erin?"

He'd taken to using her given name, and she rather liked the slight insubordination. It had made her feel included in the group. "I don't know yet, Derek."

"Are you craving?"

The question gave her pause. She should be craving. What she was about to do would affect the rest of her life and her old self would have loved nothing more than to escape into the oblivion of alcohol. "Surprisingly, no. But thank you for your concern." Her eyes filled with tears once more and, to her shock, he reached out and hugged her tightly.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. I've seen the progress you've made and I wouldn't want anything to set that back."

"Okay." Derek let go of her and she stepped back into the safety of David's arms. "If you pray, pray for me, for us." He nodded and they went out to the elevators.

"You really have me worried here, Erin. I hope to God that you aren't going to tell me that you have some awful communicable disease and that I'm at risk, too." David rubbed her back in gentle circles and she shuddered a little.

"Nothing like that. We're heading right home." He nodded and she fell silent, not wanting to say anything more before she was in a safe, private, space. The drive home seemed to take forever, but soon, he was pulling into the garage and leading her into the living room.

"All right, spill. What is making you so upset today?"

She took a deep breath. "Remember our first fling?"

"You were so young, and I was so dumb. I knew that you were in love with me, and I used that to my advantage. I was hurting after losing James and Carolyn in short order and used you terribly. I was shocked to see you turn up at the FBI all those years later."

"And I hated you. But not really, since I loved you too much to hate you." She reached out for his hand and clasped it tightly, running her thumb back and forth lightly. "I kept a secret from you, one that you had the right to know about. I was just so focused on my future, on becoming something more than what I was. I had lived in the shadow of my older sister for so long, which is why I got together with you in the first place."

"Wait, you have an older sister? Why did I never meet her?"

"Di was already working on her PhD at that time. She fell in love with medieval philosophy and left us to pursue that dream of hers."

A small light of confused understanding lit his eyes. "Are you trying to tell me that Diana Reid is your sister?"

"Maybe. Yes. She is. Her schizophrenia wasn't so bad then, and it was easily controlled with the medication. But I cut off all ties with her after…"

"After what, Erin?"

"After I gave her our baby." She felt him tighten his grip on her hand as he drew in a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, run that by me again."

She looked deep into his eyes and saw a miasma of emotion. Shining through all of it, though, was love, and she began to cry once more. "I gave her our baby because I couldn't raise one and go to college. I wanted my child in the family, even if I couldn't take care of him. I'm so sorry, David, that I never told you this."

He rubbed her shoulder gently as they stared at each other. Erin felt like she couldn't tear her gaze away from his, and soon her tears slowed, even as his own began. "I have a son. In the BAU. Does he have any idea?"

She shook her head slowly. "No, I made Diana and William swear that they would never tell him. I didn't want him hampered by the knowledge that his screw up of a single mother hadn't wanted him."

"That's not the truth." She cocked her head to the side and he reached up to wipe her tears away. "If you hadn't wanted him, you would have had an abortion."

She let out a deep, shuddery, breath as she nodded. "I know, I would have. But you have to be angry at me. For God's sake, Spencer is thirty one now, and I stole all those years from you. I fucked you over."

He ran his thumb along her cheekbone before pulling her close to his chest. This movement brought out the sobs in her again. "After the way I left you, Erin, I don't blame you for keeping that from me. We fought like cats and dogs when you entered the FBI, and then I retired and thought nothing of you until I returned and still treated you badly. And maybe I will be angry come the morning, but right now, I think I'm in shock."

She nodded slowly, burrowing close to him as she cried. She unconsciously slipped off to sleep, barely feeling Dave lift her up and carry her to their room.