Chapter 1: Looking Back

There comes a point in everyone's life where they question their life. They wonder what they have really accomplished, how they have affected other people. They wonder, if their life is actually worth living.

Sister Jude was at that point right now. She sat in her darkened office, listening to the rain hit the window as she blankly stared down at the news paper before her. It was a copy of the paper from right after she had hit the girl. Although she was furious and wanted to go after who ever had managed to get ahold of the paper, she realized that her anger was misdirected. It was her fault.

That night, she didn't have to drive herself home. She didn't have to drink nearly as much as she had. Hell, she didn't even have to be there. But, she did and she was and that was the bottom line.

All her life had been a disaster. No one there knew her past, and it was better that way. No one knew about her first husband, her children, her drinking afterwords. Her entire life was one big dirty secret that she kept hidden under her perfectly kept attire and straight laced attitude.

There was a knock at the door, disrupting her thoughts. "Come in!" she called.

Sister Mary Eunice entered the room, a subtle smug smile tugged at her lips. "Doctor Thredson wants to talk to you about a patient. He's in his office," she informed her.

Sister Jude raised an eyebrow to her as she nonchalantly mixed the paper in with the rest of the papers on her desk and slid them into her drawer. "Did he specify which patient?" she inquired.

"No. He just told me to come get you if you weren't busy," she answered.

"All right," Jude sighed as she got to her feet.

"You know, it saddens me really, how he favors certain patients over the others," Mary Eunice mentioned. She looked up, seeing that she had caused Jude to stop at the door. "When really, if you're going to take care of a group of people, you should really try to avoid playing favorite. Don't you think?"

Jude turned to look at her. "The only patient that he should be favoring right now is the one that he was sent here to see, Kit Walker. The others are none of his business," she curtly replied before leaving.

Once she was out in the hall, Jude's eyes widened. She didn't want Mary Eunice to know it, but her words had struck a nerve in her.

Jude stood behind the chair that her daughter, Emily, sat as she brushed her long blonde hair. "I'm so proud of you," Jude beamed.

"Thank you mother," Emily replied, smiling at herself in the mirror.

Regan, Emily's little sister sat in the corner, just watching. "How come you never dress me up like you do Emily?" she implored.

"Because dear, you never have an occasion to dress up for. Maybe if you did better in school and behaved more like a lady, you might get more chances to dress up," Jude responded, keeping her attention on Emily's hair.

Sister Jude pushed the memory back and forced herself to maintain her composure as she continued on her way to see Doctor Thredson. She did have some dignity to maintain.