Sherlock says to stay away from the food, especially cake. -JW

Which one? -MH

God knows. He's got a malicious look in his eye though. And told me to stock up on laxatives for his experiments. You were warned. -JW

Will this have something to do with the fact my toast tasted odd this morning? If so I'm blaming you. -MH

Hey, don't blame me! Blame your sociopathic brother! -JW

You should deter him from doing such things. -MH

Like that'd work. -JW

I'm sure you have your.. Ways. -MH

I really hope your not suggesting what I think you are.. -JW

What if I am? It certainly doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure you two out. Your so painfully obvious. -MH

Look, how many times have I got to say it? We're not a couple. And even if I was gay, which I'm not, Sherlock's married to his work. He told me so himself when he thought I was .. um, trying to chat him up. -JW

Alright then. But that does prove me point a little. If one of the most perceptive men in the world thinks your trying to chat him up, maybe you are. Could you please just do something with him? The sexual tension is killing me. -MH

I'd just met the guy - I was trying to find out about him! I wasn't chatting him up! - I am not... What? No! I'm NOT gay! I'm not going to make a fool of myself and WHAT sexual tension?! -JW

The obvious one. I believe the popular term is, duh! -MH

I am not sexually frustrated over your brother. -JW

If you insist. He's certainly frustrated over you. Just saying. -MH

... He is? What? Since when? Sherlock Holmes... Can get frustrated? What is this, a parallel world? -JW

No. We may seem like we hate each other but he does come to me for advice from time to time. Especially in things he's not so experienced in. -MH

Are you seriously saying that Sherlock Holmes has gone to you for... Sexual advice? ... About me? -JW

I'm not saying anything. But he's not exactly going to go to mummy is he? He's too proud to go anywhere else and I was quite the ladies man in my day. -MH

That's a disgusting mental image. He could talk to me. That's surely the logical thing to do! -JW

Not really. You seem to have forgotten who we are talking about. Too proud, remember? -Mh

I can't just sit around and ignore it though! -JW

You don't have to. I'm mealy pointing things out. -MH

Maybe I should talk to him about it. -JW

Maybe. -MH

Hmmmn. I'm not sure. -JW

Would I lie to you about something as delicate as my brothers feelings? -MH

Depends what's in it for you. -JW

Come on John, you offend me. I am only concerned about my brother. -MH

You don't need to be concerned. He's got me to 'look after' him. -JW

Maybe he wants you to 'look after' him in other ways. I just want him to be happy. You know that. -MH

And you think being in a relationship with me would make that happen? I don't think he'd care. -JW

You don't give yourself enough credit. -MH

Xxx

Mycroft smiled in uncontained glee as the door slammed to his office and Sherlock stormed in, flustered secretary in tow.

"you can't go in there mister Holmes. You haven't made an appointme-"

"MYCROFT!" Sherlock bellowed, pointing at him.

Mycroft shuffled some sheets on his desk and looked at his brother, "please Sherlock, there's no need to point, I'm the only one here. It's quite alright Nina I haven't got anything too pressing on at the moment." he smiled at the woman who nodded and left, shutting the door behind her. Sherlock dropped his arm and sat down.

"have a seat Sherlock," the elder Holmes said sarcastically, noting the fact the younger didn't wait to be invited. "now I'm sure we can have a calm conversation. We are grown ups after all."

"I'm not so sure about some of us." Sherlock glared, sinking into the armchair he plunked himself in.

"sit up straight Sherlock." it was a knee jerk reaction to his brothers slouching, something he'd done since he was young - but it still sent a smug feeling flashing across his brain when he saw Sherlock comply despite himself.

"now," Mycroft said, putting down the the paper, "what seems to be the problem?"

"you know exactly what the problem is." sherlock spat, "you and John have been texting."

"you make it sound so sordid put like that. He's not exclusively yours brother dear, he's allowed to talk to other people. Maybe even people you don't necessarily get on with. But then, if he only talked to those you liked he'd end up just talking to himself." Mycroft chuckled at his own joke.

"shut up." Sherlock snapped, "you never text, you like the sound of your own voice too much."

He shook off the comment and leaned over to his younger brother, "John texted me. I was responding in kind. It's social etiquette Sherlock, I don't expect you to understand."

"you've been putting ideas in his head."

"to the point aren't you Sherlock. And no I haven't."

"Really?" Sherlock's face was contorted with rage as he stood up, "you've been telling him we've been talking! We never talk!"

Mycroft looked up at him. He probably would be scared if it didn't so much remind him of the three-year-old version, who'd have tantrums on the landing when he couldn't wear his pirate costume to dinner and had to be dragged, kicking and screaming back to the nursery. He really didn't blame mummy or the nannies for that, he never took it off and it had started to smell. "it's more what you haven't been saying."

Sherlock scoffed at him.

"at lunch with Mummy to be exact."

"what's that supposed to mean?" Sherlock sat back down.

"they way you talk about him to her. Mummy keeps asking me why you won't let her meet him. She's worried you think she'll scare your boyfriend off."

"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" Sherlock leapt out if his seat.

"don't shoot the messenger." Mycroft put up his hands, "I'm only telling you what Mummy told me."

"oh, in the same way you told John what I'd only told you?" he glared.

"call her if you like."

"fine!"

"fine."

And Sherlock stormed out the room.

Xxx

Fifteen minutes later Sherlock returned looking rather dejected.

"well?" Mycroft asked, smug look on his face.

"wipe that smile off your face before I punch it off. I'm surprised I didn't find you lurking with your ear against the door."

"no need, everything's bugged." he smiled sickeningly as the other man sat down in his chair across the desk. "what did she say?" Sherlock gave him a look, "I couldn't hear what she said, Sherlock! I'm not that good."

"can't you infer from what I said?"

"yes, but I want to hear you say it."

Sherlock deflated, "she's ecstatic I have a boyfriend... Shut up."

"I didn't say anything!"

"you were thinking it."

"I don't see why you didn't just put her straight."

"she sounded so happy."

"you accepted an invite to tea. With John. As your boyfriend."

"shut up."

"I think this is a good thing."

Sherlock glared again, "how so?"

"because you actually have feelings for the man and now you have to admit them. Win win I think."

"fine!"

"fine." and Sherlock stormed out again. Curse Mycroft for being so perceptive. And curse him for getting Mummy involved. There was no choice now. He'd have to talk to John. This was going to be awkward.

well? what do you think? i got the insperation for this whilst having a text conversation with a friend, hence the texts at the beggining. im not sure whether to leave this as a one shot or carry on. depends what you lovely lot think.