Severus Snape was a man of many regrets. He had nobody to blame but himself really for anyone with an ounce of brain could tell you that a man with many regrets as a man that didn't think things through. It was true; he did not think before called Lily Evans a mudblood and threw her into the waiting arms of one James Potter. He did not think before he became a death eater and he did not think before he told Voldemort that prophecy. He never truly thought before he acted, like in chess he only saw things as a good idea at the time and did not think ahead. All those awful instances came back to bite him, you would think one would learn, that was his problem, he did not think, he never thought, and he refused to learn.

His worst mistake it would seem, would also be his last. He chose to punish a child for the sins of his father. That had seemed like a good idea at the time because it got out his frustrations and brought him sadistic joy. He never had the chance to punish the father himself, the father had had friends to protect him and when he left school he had Lily so he could not hurt him because then Lily would hate him even more. Oh he never wanted to kill the boy, but he humiliated him, did so on his first day, made him feel useless, he was only eleven years old, he was vulnerable and because he was a teacher, at his mercy. He could not do anything back to him, so leapt at the chance to hurt him purely because he wanted to.

Occasionally he would see Lily staring back at him but the rest was purely James and he hated him. He had enjoyed it for just over two years, but now a thirteen year old boy who had changed over the summer into a young man was getting his revenge. There was something terribly unnerving about that confident half smile and the way he was always one step ahead of everything. Several times Draco had tried to hex him, but when he rounded the corner where Malfoy was lying in wait, he already had a shield around himself or he deflected the curse without so much as glancing at the blond. To make matters worse, there was always a witness so he could not try and take points off him or give him a detention.

The child also would know what he was doing was against protocol and demand to show his memories to Dumbledore or McGonagall so the others would know he was behaving outside protocol. He was getting too smart for his own good, earlier he had known no better, he just thought it was something he'd have to deal with, but after the summer something had changed him and he knew which was bad news for him and what he'd get for his kicks. The Potter boy would not be fazed by his godson, or any other student for that matter, or even him. He had also gotten better on a broom gaining more fans and most annoyingly, he was intelligent, not just about his rights as a student but academically too.

He had found out this piece of information when he had been forced to give the Potter boy an 'outstanding' on his latest essay, something he would not have done before. He could not mess with his grades like he was tempted because there was always a chance that this new Potter would ask another for it to be remarked. He had been doing a lot of reading over the summer and while he never raised his hand, when he picked on him, he always gave a correct, moderately detailed answer. He had docked points for answering with too little information, too much information and talking too slowly, by far his most ridiculous excuse, but not once did the boy rise to the bait and snap at him and it was infuriating.

He was certain that if Potter did not slip up soon then he would end up giving a detention for no reason at all. Docking points was fine, the students and the teachers were used to that from him but detentions were another matter as free time was something rare and precious for the students of Hogwarts, especially for third year and beyond. He could be reported for an unfair detention and while it would not result in much more than a slap on the wrist because Dumbledore adored him, even if he did adore Potter more the students would find out about it. There were no secrets in Hogwarts, it was the blasted paintings that did it, and once the students found out about it there would just be no fear anymore because they would know they could report him whereas at the moment they were too scared to do so.

So he upped his game, he really did not see that he had any other choice. He asked questions from the end of the syllabus, things he had not yet taught, things he by all rights should not know. In the end, even Granger stopped offering eventually. But still, he answered every question correctly, brewed every potion perfectly, even when he set his snakes to sabotaging them, he protected his and the potions of his fellow lions, even Longbottom. Ever essay was an outstanding piece of work, so in desperation he asked him a 6th year question. By the short silence that followed he was sure he'd gotten him and almost with a sigh of relief he opened his mouth to let out a string of barbs which probably not affect him and to dock points.

He was overdue to tell him how 'fame wasn't everything', how 'he may be good on a broom but did not have a hope in hell with potions' and all of those things he'd missed. His personal favourite was to tell him how his father was just as awful as him, that always set him off. Then a glimmer of a smile passed over the dark haired boy and he raised one eyebrow, letting him know that he knew. He knew that the question that he'd asked was for a student three years his senior and then he told him the correct answer. Now he lay on the ground, glaring up at his student who stared down at him his expression strangle blank.

Then after a couple of moments, his mouth curled into a dangerous, almost deadly smile. It was not a look one so young should wear, no one should wear it. But death eaters did, it was sadistic, they wore it every tiem they tortured a muggle or a muggle-born, and so did he, he wore it every time he handed out unjust punishments. "Never show mercy to your enemies," he said aloud to no one, "they will not thank you for it and they do not deserve it. Do not hesitate to pull out all the stops to achieve your goal and serve justice." With that, he slashed his wand at him and Snape felt the sting of a cutting curse as his shoulder was slashed.

"What do you think you are playing at Potter? That is a dark curse you are using, I am your teacher and I demand to be released at once," he struggled against his bonds but to no avail, he was well stuck and his wand was in the hands of the boy in front of him. "I could get you expelled for this," he threatened, "in fact, you are, consider yourself expelled from Hogwarts for this attack. I could even get you arrested for a dark curse!" Though whether he would go as far as to actually put Lily's child anywhere near Azkaban and the dementors was unlikely, they did not arrest minors anyway, and there was no doubt in his mind that the boy knew it too.

Potter's face did not change from his expression of calm with a faint smile on his lips as he stated in quietly in a tone of cool serenity, "those are big words for a dead man." As cliché as the words were it did not stop the fear from bubbling up inside him. It hit him like a sledgehammer, Potter was being deadly serious, he really wanted to kill him. "Even if you come back as a ghost to accuse me, which I doubt, you have nothing to live for here, it will not come to much. Ghosts cannot ingest veritaserum and I am a minor with an alibi so I do not have to take it." He gave a short laugh, "besides, everyone knows you hate me, and I have not retaliated, even when you walked all over me, humiliated me and hindered me learning, I never did a thing."

He was right, since the year started this had all been one big trap that he wove and walked into himself. "Think about it, I am the boy who lived, Dumbledore's golden boy, even more so than you, nobody would believe I would do so much as fire one dark curse, let alone kill a man, no matter how much they hurt me, I am just not capable of that sort of evil. Contrary to what you like to think, and more than often say out loud to ears that are not listening, Snape, I do not go around flaunting my fame, I hate it, and I have never before used my status as Dumbledore's golden boy either. It is ironic isn't it, that the one person who hates me the most for things I have not done is the one to push me to do them?"

Again he was right, like he had always been this year. "I shall not bore you with facts you already know, I am only here to list your crimes, I will tell you now, as I investigated into you, they just kept growing. At first I thought your crimes stopped as just how you were with me and a lot of the other lions in class. Then a found out you were a death eater and my hate grew for you substantially, you have been working for the other side this whole time, that at least explains why you hate me so much. Then I found out you were horrible to my father and godfather at school, at least they gave it back to you as hard as they got."

"Then I found out you fraternised with my mother hen you were but children, filth like you, a death eater, does not deserve to be around a beautiful maiden like her, your crimes started the day you were born, perhaps that was your first. Your most heinous crime however was that you told Voldemort that prophecy, you got my parents killed, you landed me in that house with those muggles. They abused me, they abused me to the brink of death more times than I care to remember, ahh," he assessed his shocked face, "I can see you did not know that, no, I did not let anyone know. The world needed a hero to lead them out the reign of Voldemort, not an abused child; no one could know the truth."

"The first eleven years of my life were hell, the summers were better than I was expecting. They did not know I could not use magic outside of school so they were afraid to anger me, that was something I did not let them find out or it would only come back to me worse. Hagrid taught them a lesson too and they were scared they were being watched, especially after I told them. Well, they are never going to hurt me again; I killed them when I left home during the summer. The ingenious part it, no one will find out until Christmas, when I go home to visit them and find them, but that is only if a neighbour does not call the police because of the stench before then."

"School was my safe haven," his voice had gone quiet, "I found friends, family and love for the first time, I was happy. Then there was you, you alone destroyed all that, that is something I cannot forgive, you robbed me of my home twice." Severus started to feel something he had not felt for a long time and never dreamed it would be for a Potter, he felt guilt. He had been abused, it was almost impossible to believe, but why would he lie? He had made it his job to try and spot abused children since he suffered when he was a boy, and yet when it came to Harry he had not seen it, or had he just chosen not to see it? Forget Potter never forgiving him for what he'd done, he would never forgive himself.

"Words cannot describe how sorry I am – Harry," the word sounded unfamiliar to his lips. "When I told Voldemort the prophecy I was cementing my status in his ranks. When I found out what I had done I hated myself, I became a spy for Dumbledore, I was useful to the light side. I am not sure that else I can say to stop you from killing me except that I am truly sorry. I am sorry for how I was to your father and his friends at school but it was not as if they were helpless and did not give as hard as they took. I am sorry for becoming a death eater and for telling Voldemort the prophecy, it was the worst mistake of my life, I already know that, and I would take it back if at all possible. You know that, don't you?"

Harry made no reply. "There is no artefact that can take me back so many years I am not without regrets, the things I have done haunt me. I did not 'fraternise' with your mother, I loved her, you should know that I cried for days when I found her dead. It was not like I wanted her or even James to die. I am sorry for taking your family and home away from you, I had no idea Lily's sister was so horrible to you. If I had known I would have done something to help you, I was abused as a child, I know what it is like. I do care about you, deep down, I swear, I am sorry for how I was to you in class, I was punishing you for the sins of your father because you do look so uncannily alike, but it was wrong of me to do that and I apologise."

"Of course you do," Harry said in the voice of a newly turned grave, "you do now, because I am a threat. Everyone is always sorry when their crimes catch up to them, the Dursleys actually cried for forgiveness; I wonder what you will do. If this little encounter did not take place you could have just carried on like you always did. You would have never apologised, you would have never admitted to being wrong and you would have never come to your senses and believed it yourself. You are filth and you disgust me."

000

"I am afraid I bring rather solemn news," Dumbledore said to the school, "as we all know, our potion's professor has been missing for a week now." He took a shuddering breath before continuing, "I regret to inform you that this morning he was found dead in his home, all I am allowed to tell you is that all signs point to suicide. He was a good teacher," Harry held back a snort, "and a wonderful man," he held back another one. "He will be remembered fondly and missed by us all, classes are cancelled for the day to give you all time to grieve, a farewell mass will be held at 2 should you wish to attend." His words were met by silence for a few minutes before the hall erupted into whispers as everyone offered their theories on why Severus Snape topped himself.

"He'll be remembered but he won't be missed for long," Ron said to his best friend who nodded his head in agreement. "I'd have never put him down as the type to commit suicide though, why do you reckon he did it?"

Harry shrugged, "I don't know, maybe he woke up so sour faced one day he killed himself. Maybe his face twisted into a sneer so ugly the mirror smashed and a shard of glass slashed his throat, or he died from the sight straight off. Maybe he got too enthusiastic when cutting himself a week ago and he bled to death; there is no end to the possibilities."

"Harry, you should not speak so ill of the dead," Hermione scolded, but he ignored her, she would probably go to the mass too, he wanted to go to the common room and celebrate.

"Why not? He is not going to come back and haunt me, the worst thing he can do to me now is come back to life and not even my luck with the fickle thing called fate is quite that bad. Of course I could have preferred for him just to have gotten on a plane and disappeared off somewhere far, far away so I never had to see him again, but that was never going to happen, this is the next best thing. I am sorry Hermione if I cannot find it within myself to feel sorrow for the man who tortured me for over two years. I would have of course been inclined to grieve if he was not such a bastard to me, but there is simply nothing about him for me to miss."

Harry played with his food. "Die during term time instead of the holidays is about the most considerate thing he has ever done for me. This way we get a day off and we do not have to do our potion's essay." He looked pointedly at Hermione who was openly gaping at her cold he was being, "although knowing you, you have probably already done it."

"That's kind of a cold thing to say you know, for you, the guy is dead," Ron pointed out. "I mean I know he was a right old bastard to you, and you offer him no farewell or anything, but he was a part of the light side and all…" he trailed off.

Harry did not get angry at his best friend, he just smiled, because this was Ron being Ron and Hermione being Hermione and they meant no harm. It was funny what they had aid though, it was exactly what he had said to Snape, nobody would believe him capable of killing, Ron was surprised he was so dismissive of his death in speech. "Because I am the figurehead of the light side I should feel some semblance of sorrow right?" Ron blushed down to the roots of his hair and started to contradict himself but Harry waved it off. "It's ok, really, I get it, and maybe I will feel sorrow in a couple of days, maybe, but not right now, his crimes against me are still too fresh. I'm tired; I'm going to go to bed early."

He lay awake in bed for hours, staring at the ceiling, curtains drawn around his bed to keep the world out. He ran his long slender fingers through the snowy white feathers of his faithful owl Hedwig. Snape was gone, it was like a dream, he was finally gone, he was not going to be bullied by him any longer. He grinned something manic, turned over in bed, switched of the light and drifted off to sleep. Thank God he was finally out of his life, for the first time in years he had the feeling he was going to sleep well.