Twist and Turn

Belle is kindness and she's hope. She's joy and she's confidence. She's the friend who never judges, who loves the unlovable, who can see through the darkness.

Tonight the full moon is covered by thick clouds; like all light's cloaked and the heavens are raining spite on Red; they're reminding her that she belongs to the shadows, even when she's waiting for the dawn. They're reaping her human to nurture the beast within her.

She can hear the wolf howl already. It won't be long.

It's been almost thirty years since her last transformation and she's tortured by crippling fear. Doubt is tearing her apart, scratching at her skin – claws that create a million cracks of grimness. Every wound eats at her self-confidence. She can't do it. She won't be able to face her demon and control her wolf. She'll turn and she'll blackout and she'll murder and feast on human flesh and she'll have to run again: run from her friends, run from herself. She'll never be able to look any of them in the eye.

And who will be the victim this time? Snow? Emma? Belle?

Pain shoots through her veins, pins and needles scratching at her muscles. She's restless but she doesn't dare move an inch. Red needs her energy to focus.

"Here you are." Belle smiles sadly and kneels and slides next to the trembling figure. "I'm sorry," she says. "I couldn't find your cloak."

Red closes her eyes and swallows and bites back her tears. "It's not your fault." she forces out between clenched teeth. Then she demands: "You should leave now."

But Belle is stubborn and she's strong. "I believe in you." Her voice is calm – a stark contrast to the wild growls in Red's mind. "No one believed in Ruby." Red counters with a smack of bitterness. There are almost thirty years of memories that aren't hers nagging, dragging her down. Ruby, the waitress who'd always have a smile for a random stranger if he requested to look up her skirt; Ruby, the girl whose destiny was to only have faith in her own failure; Ruby, who's terrified of being in control, because it requires responsibility – that girl is whispering in Red's ear now, telling her to give up and hide behind the monster's strength. If she surrenders to fate she's not to blame. If she gives up it's not her fault. If you're not in charge of what's happening to you, that's freedom. It's easy.

Red feels small and fragile and that's dangerous, because her walls are crumbling quickly.

And Belle sits and looks at Red, sees her worry, feels the danger. "You learned to control it before." she insists, never raising her voice. Her words are almost a whisper and they blend in perfectly with all the other voices in Red's mind. "I know it's been long, but you can still do it. You remember."

A new shiver runs through Red and it's violent and it's painful.

"You should really go." she sobs. "Just go."

"Snow always believed in you." Belle reaches out, slowly, with one hand. Red flinches away. "And Charming believes in you." She's not going to be irritated. Because Belle sees Good where there's Good to see, even if it's hidden well. She reaches out again and this time her fingertips come up to brush away a strand of hair from Red's now tear-streaked face. "Granny believes in you, too." She smiles again and for the first time she meets Red's eyes. Crimson ghosts are glowing behind black pupils. There are stories of hunters and prey, of blood and lust and hunger, dancing on her friend's conscience.

Belle swallows hard and fights her own fear and struggles to never let on.

"You're afraid. I can smell it." Red averts her eyes and backs away further, pulls the collar of her pullover up to her chin and stares at the floor. "Go. Please." And it's the disappointment in her voice that gives Belle yet another reason to stay. "You want to believe, too." She closes the distance again; crawls the inches towards Red. This time she boldly takes her hand, covers it with the other, squeezes gently.

"I'm a monster." Red shakes her head and her voice is trembling as hard as her body is shaking now. She leans back and closes her eyes and breathes.

But Belle is a fighter. She slays dragons that nobody can see. And she doesn't even need a sword to do that.

She knows she doesn't have all the time in the world, but she knows she can't push. If she rushes, she'll scare Red away and let her dark side run free.

"We all have monsters in us." she explains, squeezes the hand she's holding once more. "We all have doubt. Sometimes it's hard to believe in yourself. It's hard to trust that you'll make the right decision, especially when there's no one who can help you – when there's no one who knows what it's like." That catches Red's attention.

"Yea?" It's a hopeful whimper. Belle's eyes sparkle bright blue. "Yea." she answers and smiles brilliantly. "It's hard being on your own. But when it comes down to it, that's what we all are. Each and every one of us. There are things that no one else can decide for us, that no one else can do. And that's scary."

For the first time Red squeezes back. "You doubt yourself?" Her body hasn't stopped aching, hasn't stopped shaking and her voice sounds weak, like she's going to break anytime.

"I do." Belle nods, her face determined.

And then it happens. The pain cursing through Red becomes overwhelming. It's as hot as lava and she scratches at her own skin and screams in agony. Belle is shaking her head, refuses to back away, refuses to leave Red to her fate. "But if I'd doubt you – if I thought you'd hurt me, I wouldn't be here. I would protect myself and I'd run from you." Nothing seems to be able to stop the wolf now. Belle hears bones crack and she suffers – suffers with her friend.

But Belle is bravery and Belle is light. Belle knows she can't save anyone if they don't save themselves first. And she knows a hero when she sees one.

"I'm still here." Her voice is as calm as ever. She wants to scream, because she can almost feel Red's pain. She wants to cry as well. But she doesn't want to run.

So she moves on her knees, shuffles even closer than before. And without hesitation she wraps her arms around Red's neck from behind, drapes herself across the quaking body like a cloak, human not carmine. She can't absorb the pain and she can't release Red, can't set her free. "You can do it. Believe in yourself." And she hides her face in the crook of Red's neck, breathes with her, focuses on willing back the monster.

She feels hands holding tight on to hers and she feels Red's body squirm and hears her scream, then whimper, then cry, then breathe. And she doesn't let go.

She doesn't let go when she knows that Red is still Red; she doesn't let go when she knows they've won. She doesn't let go, because Red doesn't, either. She leans back into Belle and sniffs and opens her eyes and enjoys relief washing over her until laughter bubbles up in her throat and they're shaking together - free.