i wish we could talk (but i like your lips better)

Her and Freddie were never good with words.

That's what Sam realised as she banged on Freddie's front door, hard. They weren't good at expressing their feelings through words. They had always done it through actions, and they had been trying this stupid talking it out thing for long enough.

"Hi Sam-"

Sam's expression was furious as she reached out, and punched Freddie square in the face.

"What the FUCK Sam?" Freddie yelped, clutching his throbbing nose. "What was that for?"

"You kissed her." Sam spat. "You kissed her!"

"I didn't kiss her!" Freddie defended himself. "She kissed me."

"And you let her!" Sam growled.

"What was I supposed to do?"

"Push her away? Not kiss her back?"

"What do you care anyway?" Freddie snapped. "You broke up with me, remember?"

"It was mutual!" Sam yelled.

"Uh, guys?" Spencer poked his head around the door of his apartment. "Is everything okay? Do I need to call the police or anything?"

"Its fine." Sam said, not turning around. "We're just talking."

"It doesn't really sound like talking.."

"We're just talking." Freddie replied this time, grabbing Sam by the wrist, and pulled her inside the apartment, slamming the door shut behind them.

"It was mutual." Sam repeated. "And you know what Benson? Don't even go there with me!"

"Why not? If you don't want to go there, why are you here?"

"You're the one who's been ignoring our entire relationship!" Sam shouted, shoving Freddie as hard as she could, making him stumble.

"Ignoring it? Ignoring it? I've been trying not to fall apart! I haven't been ignoring it-"

"Oh, cut the bullshit." Sam growled. "Your stupid little crush on Carly came back as soon as we broke up!"

"Stop exaggerating."

"Stop acting like an idiot." Sam said. "Did you ever love me at all Benson? Huh?" Her expression was dangerous, but for once, Freddie was staring back with the exact same intensity.

"Are you going to answer me? Because I'm really starting to- mmmhph!"

Sam was cut off by Freddie pressing his lips roughly to hers, kissing her as hard as he hard as he could.

"What the hell?" Sam broke their kiss, shoving him a way.

"Giving you your goddamn answer!"

"You can't just kiss me and make this all better-"

"You and I both know we suck at talking." Freddie said. "We'll just argue, and argue, and argue..."

"But how the hell are we supposed to work in a relationship if we can't talk?" Sam demanded. She didn't want to get her heart broken again, and she sure as hell wasn't going to jump into anything heart first this time around.

"I don't fucking know!" Freddie admitted, running his hands through his hair. "I just know that I.." He looked at her, his dark eyes studying her expression carefully. "I just know I didn't like kissing her."

"Is that all?"

Freddie bit back a sarcastic retort, shaking his head. There was silence between them for a second before Freddie snapped, closing the space between them once again, kissing her roughly, pinning her against the wall of the hallway.

Sam didn't know if she should fight him or just give in or just..

Do both.

Ripping her wrists from his grasp, Sam grabbed the front of his shirt, using all her strength to flip their positons, and pin him to the wall. She forced his lips open with her tongue, not giving him a chance to fight back as she deepened the kiss. "You're a nub." She said breathlessly, taking in his swollen lips and messy hair as they stood, nose to nose, against the wall.

"I know."

"You shouldn't have done it. Any of it."

"I know that Sam, and-"

"Shut up."

Freddie fell silent, looking at her carefully.

"You've been acting like a complete prat the past few months." Sam said. "Do you have any idea how much it hurt me to watch you develop this crush on Carly again all of a sudden? Do you? You told me you loved me. In more than one way, if I remember correctly. And then you pull that stupid stunt. You wanna know how I felt? Used."

Sam was practically trembling with anger, her grip on Freddie's shirt barely holding steady. She could feel his chest heaving under her grasp, and as she locked eyes with him, she saw his eyes were full of tears.

"I'm sorry." Freddie said, his voice cracking. "I know it doesn't matter, or mean anything, but I'm sorry Sam."

"You're right." Sam said, letting go of his shirt. "It doesn't mean anything."

"I'm not going to make excuses for myself Sam." Freddie said, wiping at his eyes with his shirt sleeve. "You deserve better than me."

"Yeah, I do."

"I understand if you want to just leave, and never talk to me again-"

"Don't be a drama queen."

"Let me talk Sam, please." Freddie pleaded. "Leave if you want to Sam. I understand if you do, okay? I do. I just need you to know one thing. I do love you, it wasn't all.. It was real. All of it. And I ruined it, I know that."

He looked at her, tear tracks ruining down his face. "I love you Sam. I really do."

Sam looked at him, a hundred thousand responses running through her head. She wanted to scream and yell and push him and just fucking walk away but as she looked at him, this stupid nub who had hurt her so much and all she wanted to do was make him stop crying.

Stupid goddamn heart.

She opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't put together a coherent sentence. So she kissed him. She kissed him like her life depended on it, her hands knotting in his hair as she stood on tiptoe, their lips mashed together.

Sam felt her heart pound as she felt Freddie's arms snake around her hips, hooking around her waist and holding her flush against him, the feeling unbelievably familar, even after three months.

"I.. I love you." Sam said, trying to catch her breath as Freddie trailed soft, light kisses down her neck, and across her collarbone. It was hard to focus when he was doing that. Really hard to focus.

Needing to consentrate long enough to say something, Sam grabbed the sides of his face, pulling him back to eye-level. She scanned his face, taking in every single detail; his flushed cheeks, the tiny freckle on the left side of his nose, everything.

"But I swear to God Benson," Sam continued. "If you ever do anything like that to me again, I will never forgive you."

"I-"

"I will kill you." Sam said bluntly. "There wont be a single place in the world you can hide."

"Never again Sam." Freddie said quietly. "Never again."

"Promise?"

"Promise." Freddie said, kissing her softly, his actions as much of a promise as his words had been.

Sam allowed her eyes to close, trying to ignore the voice in her head that was screaming at her to run. She should run, she should build all those walls back up, but she was so desperately in love with this idiot she found herself asking when his mom would be home.

"Tomorrow afternoon. Why?"

She simply kissed him again, telling him everything he needed to know.

They had never been good with words but they were pretty goddamn good at using their lips.

fin.

Author's Note; So.. iGoodbye. I have a lot of thoughts about the finale, and most of them include me being incredibly pissed at the lack of conclusion for just about everything, especially Sam and Freddie. So I suppose this is me satisfying my Seddie feels.

I really should stop with this insane authors note, but I do want to say one thing though; thank you so, so, so, so much to anyone who read/reviewed/favourited/just looked at any of my iCarly fic over the years. Your support has been unbelievably amazing and I can never thank you enough.

So yeah. Feedback is much appreciated!