Conflicts of Interest

ann no aku

Plot: Amy has a secret from Sheldon that she is desperate to keep. Humor.

Dedicated to all my fellow fans out there. You'll know who you are after reading this.

"Amy," Sheldon began, his voice sounding imperfect through the speakers of her computer. "What is that noise?"

"What?" Her cheeks turned red as her hands disappeared under her desk and fumbled with something Sheldon couldn't see. "What noise?"

"I heard a noise," he insisted.

"Oh, that. It was, um, the washing machine."

"But your TV, you turned it off. Why'd you turn it off?"

"It was distracting me from you," she said as her face burned hotter.

"No, that's not possible. I'm interesting." He studied her for a moment before continuing. "There was space on your TV. I saw space."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did." His face broke out into a smug grin as he simpered, "You were watching those Star Trek DVDs I got you, weren't you?"

Thankful for Skype's inability to have clear sounding audio, Amy laughed nervously, although she doubted he'd be able to pick up on her anxiety should they be in person instead. "Yes. I was watching those DVDs." She pushed her glasses up her nose.

"I knew it. You like them. I told you Will Wheaton is a great actor." He was still grinning madly, pleased that he had seemed to have won something. "What episode were you watching?"

Her momentary look of relief sunk to the floor, her mouth slightly agape. "Oh, um, the one where they investigate a planet."

"Amy! Many Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes are about that. You need to be more specific. What is the name of the episode?"

Darn it, she thought, resisting the urge to bite one of her nails. "I don't remember; talking to you distracted me."

"Well, what season?"

Why does he want to know so badly? "Um, let me check." She dove down under her desk, grabbing a thin booklet from next to her keyboard. Her hands moved so quickly, Sheldon couldn't even see the front of it to try and determine what season she was on based on the cover design.

On his side, Sheldon heard her flipping hastily through the glossy pages, still smirking. "You don't have to hide your new found love for Star Trek from me, Amy. As a matter of fact, I encourage it."

After a few seconds, Amy emerged and plopped back into her chair, her hair a little wilder than before. "Season one," she replied breathlessly, "episode eighteen."

"Really?" he questioned, his voice higher than before. "I didn't think they had an away mission in that episode. Are you sure that's the one?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"No reason to get all excited about it, Amy. We are two mature adults here. Hold on a second." He got up from his chair, disappearing down the hall as he went into his bedroom. Much to his girlfriend's horror, he returned with the complete series of Star Trek: The Next Generation. "I'd suggest watching it together in person, but I'd hate to distract you even more. I'll start on the next episode, and when I count down to zero, hit 'play' so we can enjoy it at the same time."

"Sheldon, I'd love to watch it with you, but, you'll distract me. And I'd hate to miss anything important because I am so enthralled by your awesome presence. Perhaps it's best if I watch it on my own," she nodded her head vigorously, her glasses slipping down her shining nose.

"Oh, Amy. That's why I like you. You're so smart. I'd much rather watch it by myself than having to pause for all your questions and bathroom breaks. Goodbye." Sheldon disconnected the video call with a swift click and looked over to Leonard, whom had been watching in the doorway with a confused expression on his face.

"What was that?!" he asked, unsure if he even wanted to know. His roommate's relationship intrigued and scared him sometimes.

"Oh, just Amy. I caught her watching those Star Trek DVDs I gave her so she could appreciate Will Wheaton's acting."

Leonard cocked his head to the side, trying to process this information. He said after a moment's thought, "Why would anyone hide that?"

"She probably doesn't want to admit she likes his acting because that would mean I'm right," answered Sheldon before erupting into giggles. "Bazinga!" He calmed down. "Actually, I don't know why she'd try to hide watching Star Trek. It's not like it's anything to be embarrassed about."

"I think you got it right before."

"Maybe she wasn't watching Star Trek at all!" Sheldon suddenly exploded, panic resonating in his high voice.

"Well, what makes you think she was?"

"She said so!"

Leonard glared at Sheldon until his roommate quavered. "I saw space on TV!"

"Space?" he echoed.

"Yes. Space."

"Lots of TV shows have space in them, Sheldon. She could have been watching any of them."

"But why?! I gave her those Star Trek DVDs!" He had jumped up from his chair, at a loss as to what else his girlfriend could have been watching.

"Does she even like Star Trek?"

"Of course! Everyone likes Star Trek! It is the basis for all science fiction!"

"Did you ask her what episode it was?" Leonard asked, seating himself on the couch. He was quite enjoying his roommate's dilemma.

"Yes! She said season one, episode eighteen."

"Ah, the one where Starfleet tests Picard's loyalty and Wesley has trouble with Starfleet Academy exams—'Coming of Age'."

"OH!" gasped Sheldon, clutching his heart as though it were breaking beneath his fingers. "I knew it wasn't one where they went on an away mission to another planet. How could I have missed that? Amy lied to me!"

"Probably not the first time," mumbled Leonard.

"But why?! What is more important than Star Trek? What show could she possibly be watching that has space in it and travelling to alien planets that is better than Star Trek?" Sheldon stared hard at his roommate as if expecting an answer to appear on his forehead.

"What are you looking at me for? How would I know? Go ask Amy!"

"I did! She said Star Trek! She lied!" He paced back to his chair and fell into it with a heavy slump, hunched over with his face in his hands and his elbows on his knees.

"Look it up online," his roommate suggested. "Maybe you can find out-," he began.

"NO!" Sheldon shouted, standing up tall and looking strangely menacing. His jaw was set and there was a dark look in his eyes. "My woman lied to me. I, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, as a brilliant scientist, must discover the reason why and put her in her place!"

Leonard gawked at him. "What?"

"You just don't lie to people. It's not nice." He picked up his DVDs and looked expectantly at Leonard. "Drive me to Amy's. I have a liar to confront."

"Please?"

"You don't have to ask me, I'm telling you."

"No, I'm saying you should at least say 'please' before you go about giving me commands."

"Why? Today doesn't seem to be the day for niceties."

BBTBBTBBTBBTBBT

"It was our last, best hope," Sheldon heard though the door before rapping incessantly.

Knock. Knock. Knock. "Amy. Amy. Amy."

"Darn it!" There was some banging around and quick movements in the apartment.

Knock. Knock. Knock. "Amy. Amy. Amy."

"I'm coming!"

"Why can't you answer the door now, Amy? What are you hiding?!"

"Nothing!"

"You lied to me, Amy! You weren't watching Star Trek! Answer the door before I break it down!"

"With what?" scoffed Leonard.

"You stay out of this!"

"You invited me!"

"No, I told you to drive me. Chauffeurs usually wait in their cars."

"Fine. If that's how you want to be, I won't tell you what she was watching."

"How do you know?"

"I heard it," grinned Leonard, crossing his arm smugly over his chest. "And I'm not waiting in my car. I wouldn't miss this for the world."

The door flew open with great flourish. Amy stood there with forced calmness, eyeing the Star Trek: The Next Generation box set under her boyfriend's arm and trying desperately to ignore Leonard's knowing smirk. "I was watching Star Trek. What do you want, Sheldon?"

"Don't you lie to me, missy! Liars burn in hell! At least, that's what Christians believe. So I guess you won't be burning anywhere except in shame when you are caught in your lie."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "Want to come in?"

"Yes, actually, I do." Sheldon pushed past Amy and entered her apartment, searching for signs of deceit.

"Looking for something?" she asked, feeling unnaturally calm in the tense situation.

"You were watching something when I knocked on your door. What was it?"

"Star Trek. Like I said."

"Then where are the DVDs?"

She looked blankly at him, refusing to answer.

"You lied to me, Amy. You said you were watching season one, episode eighteen and that they were on an away mission to another planet. But in that episode Picard faces a trial by Starfleet to test his loyalty and Wesley Crusher has trouble with his Starfleet Academy exams!"

"It's called 'Coming of Age'," added Leonard, giving Amy his most ingratiating grin. She sneered back.

"I know that. I just finished watching it. I'm on the next episode."

"You had said they were on an away mission!"

"I must have gotten it confused with another episode. I've been watching a lot lately. I probably read the wrong number in the booklet or something."

"Oh." Sheldon slumped onto the couch, looking defeated. "So, you weren't lying?" he asked, looking up at her.

"No. Liars burn in hell," she retorted deadpan.

"Alright. Never mind, then. It was all some mix-up," he flung his arms in the air. "Come on, Leonard. I want to go to the comic book store since we're in the area." He was at the door, eager to leave and re-watch his own DVDs.

"Just a minute, Sheldon. Go wait by the car, I'll be down soon."

"But I don't have the keys! And why are you making me wait?"

Leonard fished in his pockets and lobbed the keys at his roommate, hitting him square in his Green Lantern clad chest. "I have to use the bathroom, Sheldon. Now go!"

"Not at home? Geez. You must really have to go." Sheldon hurried out, closing the door in his wake.

Amy and Leonard looked at each other—one with her arms crossed firmly and the other struggling not to laugh.

"You lied again, you know," he commented.

"Yes. To save Sheldon. I did it for honor, like a Minbari." She stood up straighter, her head higher than before.

"Are you ever going to tell him what you were watching?"

"No. And you won't, either."

"Oh? And why's that?"

"You took me to exchange the DVDs."

"Without proof, Sheldon will never believe you."

"Lucky for me, I'm paranoid and always take photos in case some handsome stranger kidnaps me and no one believes it." She whipped out her cell phone and showed him the picture of them at Best Buy. "If Sheldon sees this, you won't have a roommate anymore. Purchasing and/or owning Babylon 5 is in direct violation of the Roommate Agreement, and it's worse if you actually like it."

He scratched his head, mulling over her words for a minute. "Yeah, you're right. I'm not ready for him to know this yet." He started out, and then turned back around. "Are we still on to watch it later?"

"Yes. I need someone to talk to about this show. It's so much better than Star Trek!"

"Never let Sheldon hear you say that. Or you'll never be Mrs. Sheldon Cooper."

The End