The Yogurt Fiasco

Chapter One- How it Started

A/N- I have no idea what I was thinking. This story makes no sense. It also takes awhile to get to the actual yogurt part. Also, it might just be my odd sense of humor. And I torture Steve for longer than necessary. I think I am going to have a second chapter. This will eventually get a little Frostiron-ish. So, sorry, but they're my OTP. I won't be writing anything too… yeah. Still, rated T to be safe.

Steve was angry. Very, very angry. Which was quite unlike Steve. He was usually calm and collected. But this morning he had woke up on the wrong side of the bed. He had opened his closet to find 25 pairs of Crocs, Hello Kitty leotards, and Jonas brothers t-shirts. All of his clothes were missing, and he was forced to walk to the kitchen in his Captain America pajama pants and a very tight pink Nick Jonas shirt. Which were both equally humiliating, especially when he met Tasha in the elevator on the way to breakfast. She had laughed at him as he blushed furiously.

Steve stumbled out of the elevator, eager to be rid of Natasha, who was laughing like a hyena and trying to take a picture of him with her cell phone. Fuming, Steve walked into the large, modern kitchen. Being angry this early in the morning was making him hungry. Steve stalked over the fridge and threw it open to reveal…sardines. Hundreds of cans of sardines. Steve wrinkled his nose in disgust, crying out in frustration when he saw the troll face taped to the inside door of the fridge. "Problem?" It read. Steve walked over to his chair and sat down huffily. Suddenly the chair collapsed and Steve landed on his butt. He had had enough. "Loki!" Steve screamed in rage.

Meanwhile, Tony and Loki were dying, they were laughing so hard. Tony waved his hand and the 3D image of Steve in the kitchen disappeared. Loki had to lean against the table in Stark's workshop to keep from falling down, and Tony was finding it difficult to breathe. "Those were the most stupid practical jokes ever," Loki cackled. Tony had to admit Loki scared him when he was doing his evil laugh thing. "Yeah, but the look on Cap's face was worth it. Definitely." Loki nodded thoughtfully, and then frowned. "What the heck are we going to do with all of those sardines?"

A few months ago, Loki had appeared at Stark tower half-dead from Asgardian torture and apologizing. Tony had convinced Shield and the Avengers to let Loki stay with them at the Tower. He felt bad for Loki- the guy had been under mind control via the Chiataru and he also had daddy issues. Tony needed someone to bond with over mutual daddy issues. Plus, he had reasoned, Loki isn't really evil. He wasn't himself when he tried to take over earth. Mainly he was a prankster, nothing really cruel. Thor could vouch for that. Loki just liked to cause mischief. And, a confusing, long story later, he and Tony were the perfect team to create mischief.

They became best friends quickly. All this was much to the dismay of the other Avengers. There was nothing the two of them enjoyed more than magically giving Clint Legolas hair or reading Phil Coulson's old diary (in which he mainly obsessed over Steve) in front of everyone. Of course, the Avengers were ticked. But nobody was a better butt of a joke, and nobody was more ticked, than Steve. He was usually so chill, but if you got him real good he became very angry. And angry Steve was hilarious. But today, Loki and Tony had more up their sleeve than just annoying Steve.

They were going to do something involving all the Avengers. Something very fun and very worth their while. It doesn't matter if Steve yells at them for hours again, Tony thought, because tonight is going to be awesome.

Steve gave up. He went back to bed. When he woke up, all his clothes were back. One purple and orange tie-dye pair of Crocs were left over. All of the food was returned to the fridge. Steve opted for a bowl of cereal. Natasha apologized to him for laughing over a waffle, and Bruce smiled sympathetically when Tasha told him of Tony and Loki's little joke. Clint was asleep at the counter, and Thor was watching the movie Enchanted in the living room. It was oddly peaceful.

The troll face was gone. Instead, on the counter, was a picture of Loki and Tony that had been take a few months ago at Stark's birthday party. They had their arms around each other and were each smiling goofily. Loki's smile was more than a little evil. "Sorry, Steve!" Read the caption underneath. Steve shuddered. They were up to something. Definitely up to something.

"Tony." Silence. "Tony." Still, nothing. Tony snored loudly, and Loki rolled his eyes. "You shouldn't be tired yet, we're supposed to be up all night. Remember?" Tony snored again and grabbed Loki's shirt in his sleep. "Tony…" Loki didn't really want to wake his genius best friend. They had been planning their upcoming joke for almost an hour when Tony started to get sleepy.

Loki didn't blame him. Tony had been up last night until three, creating a concoction that would hopefully manage to get Steve drunk. That was the plan- to get all the Avengers drunk, have a party, play truth or dare (Which Tony insisted on) and make Jarvis get the whole thing on camera.

Right now, Loki was craving yogurt. Badly. "Wake up, Stark. Tony." Tony was curled up on Loki's lap. However that happened, Loki didn't know, but he didn't really mind. But… Loki needed to ask Tony something. Something very important. He shook the billionaire's shoulders and screamed, "Get up!" Tony jolted awake, then turned scarlet as he realized he was in Loki's lap. "Whaa…" "Do you have any yogurt?" Loki asked impatiently. "How… how much yogurt do you want?"

That evening, Bruce had to carry ten large buckets of strawberry yogurt all the way up to the kitchen. He was not amused.

"I think…I… Hey, am I drunk?" Bruce asked, puzzled. Of course he was drunk. The plan had worked. All the Avengers were drunk. Tasha was giggling and braiding Thor's hair, the latter of which was watching "The Little Mermaid" intently. Bruce kept tripping over his own feet to get another drink, and Steve was sitting cross-legged on the floor singing along to "Under the Sea." He didn't realize at all that he was slightly… intoxicated.

Loki and Tony were in hysterics, and almost died when Thor joined Steve in singing. Bruce tried to drink a banana and tripped over Clint. Clint was dancing, terribly. They had to admit, Steve was the most subdued of all of them. They were not expecting this. All of Steve's anger seemed to have melted away, and he was happily playing with a Captain America action figure.

Tasha finished braiding Thor's hair. It looked very lopsided. Thor clapped his hands in joy. Natasha scrunched up her nose and kicked Clint in the stomach. "Sssoooo….. m'bored….What are we gonna…going to… to…" She slurred, and Tony immediately jumped up. "Truth or dare!" He shouted, grinning stupidly. Loki had to wonder if Tony had gotten drunk as well. It was quite probable.

"Yesh.. Truth or dare…" Bruce shouted. The Avengers and Loki gathered in a sort of circle. Tasha sat in the middle before Clint shouted at her to move. She promptly started to cry and Bruce had to console her. Tony explained the game to Thor and Loki. Loki looked terrified. It was Steve's turn first. "Druth or tare, L- L-" He tried to remember Loki's name.

"Lauren!" Tasha supplied blithely, and pushed Bruce away. "Lauren-that's my brother's name!" Thor cried delightedly. Loki face palmed. "Dare." His voice was muffled through his hand. Tony giggled girlishly. Maybe he was drunk after all. "I dare you, Lauren…" Steve dragged out the N in Lauren. "To… have a yogurt battle with… me… and Claire." They all looked puzzled.

Thor pointed to Clint, who was currently trying to salsa dance with Natasha while sitting down. Clint looked up. "Yogurt battle? You're on, Lauren." Loki whimpered. "My yogurt…" Tony handed him a bottle of vodka. "Don't worry, princess, I'll get you more yogurt. Besides, you know the rules. You have to do it. It's a dare." Loki chugged down half the bottle, not responding to Tony. Tony, Thor and Bruce all did puppy eyes. "Fine! Fine, Claire! And Steve! I will beat you in this yogurt battle!" Loki screamed and opened up one of the huge cartons…

Tony sided with Loki, as did Tasha. "Claire" and Steve were on a team with Thor. They positioned themselves on either side of a balcony overlooking the kitchen, with five cartons of yogurt each. Tony shouted, "On your marks, get set, yogurt!" Loki started to fling spoonfuls of yogurt at Thor. Thor fell of the balcony and dented Tony's refrigerator.

Tasha shoved yogurt down Bruce's shirt and Tony dunked Clint's head in a bucket. They were all laughing, and as requested, Jarvis was recording. He silently sent for a cleaning crew to come in the next morning and called Pepper to come help them out. Tony chugged his drink and giggled at Steve, who was trying to shampoo Natasha's hair with yogurt. Suddenly, he fell off of the balcony and slammed into the kitchen floor. Everything went black.