A/N: Another attack of the plot bunnies...
"Okay tomorrow could be the decider." Lorne said as his team listened patiently. "All we have to do is beat Sheppard's team and we are probably champions. If we lose we have to win our next game."
"All?" Jennifer asked dubiously.
"Nothing to it." Lorne smiled. "McKay is dead weight. Sheppard is no better than the rest of us. Carter is okay, but no obstacle. Which leaves us with Higgs and Ronon. Ronon does well by scaring his opponents into submission, so I have devised a couple of tactics to get round that. Higgs is the bigger issue. But seeing how McKay is not really going to contribute I suggest we man mark Higgs out of the game."
"How exactly are you going to get round Ronon?" Jennifer asked.
"By using our secret weapon." Lorne grinned, as did the other males on the team. When Jennifer stared at them blankly Lorne added. "You."
"Me? How? Haven't I lost my secret weapon tag?"
"Doc, Ronon would not try anything funny with you around. So you are going to mark him."
"You want me to mark Ronon?" Jennifer asked incredulously. "Wouldn't I be better against McKay?"
"Absolutely not." Lorne grinned. "You'll keep Ronon distracted. And when you get the ball he won't risk tackling you."
"How exactly am I meant to keep him distracted?" Jennifer asked. When she heard a snort and a groan to her right she turned to see Sanchez rubbing his stomach and Kemp's elbow looking innocent nearby. "What?" She asked, feeling like she was missing something.
"Nothing." Sanchez said trying to look innocent, but failing.
"Doc." Lorne said trying to get Jennifer's attention. "You can distract him anyway you want. You're brighter than the rest of us put together so I'm sure you can think of something."
Before Jennifer could say anything else Cole's voice echoed round the gym as Jennifer's presence was requested in the infirmary.
"Sorry gotta go." She said hurriedly picking up her bag.
"No problem. Make sure you get plenty of rest tonight." Lorne said as Jennifer ran from the gym. As the Major turned back to face the rest of his team Kemp asked.
"You said you had a couple of tactics to get round the Ronon issue. What's the second?" The question brought another smile to Lorne's face as the Major turned and picked up a bag from the bench.
"Well, I thought, seeing it was the decider we should get some proper uniforms for the game."
"Uniforms?" Sanchez asked as Lorne threw the kit out.
"Personalised and everything." Kemp said reading his name on the back of his vest. As he held up Jennifer's he commented. "Ronon's not going to be able to keep his eyes off her."
"But won't she kill you before she wears it?" Sanchez asked.
"There's nothing wrong with it. Teyla helped design it." Lorne countered. "Besides she'll look great in it."
-00-
"I don't like it." Ronon said as John explained positions.
"Don't like what?" John asked.
"Higgs marking Jennifer."
"She's the weak link. Higgs can exploit that." John explained, again.
"I could mark her."
"I need you to intimidate Lorne. And seeing how I'm in charge, that's how it'll go." John said as he saw Lorne's team enter the gym.
"How did they get uniforms?" He asked more to himself.
"Why don't we have uniforms?" Rodney asked. "Or a good team name."
"Perhaps because we have been too busy practising and working out tactics."
"What tactics? Get ball to Higgs. Higgs scores. Get ball to Higgs. Higgs scores. Not exactly subtle." Rodney countered
"That's not the entire game plan." John countered. "Now can we get back to sorting out the actual tactics? That includes you too Chewie." When Ronon didn't turn back to face the group the group turned to see what Ronon was staring at. Following the Satedan's gaze they saw Jennifer standing next to Lorne, wearing a well shaped, body hugging, vest.
"That's low." John muttered, knowing Ronon's attention would be divided all game.
-00-
As the players took to the court Sanchez pointed to Higgs who was walking towards Jennifer and said. "Looks like Sheppard is ruining your plans."
"True. But look at Ronon. He looks ready to kill Higgs. Perhaps this will work in our favour." Lorne said before adding. "We'll try for five minutes. During which time I'll try to wind the big man up."
"You're either brave, stupid or desperate." Sanchez threw back as he jogged into position.
"Hey Ronon." Lorne said as he stood next to him. In response he just got a grunt. Not to be put off he went on. "Should be a good game, as long as Higgs doesn't try anything with the doc."
"Try what?" Ronon asked turning to face Lorne.
"Well, getting too close. Hand in the wrong place." Lorne suggested. His words causing Ronon to turn and stare at Higgs just as Sanchez was passing the ball to Lorne. With Ronon distracted Lorne dribbled the ball to the hoop and scored.
"What was that?" John asked Ronon. "Focus on the game."
As Ronon stood next to Lorne he growled, knowing he'd been played.
"I wouldn't have had that pairing." Lorne commented, ignoring the growl. "Not with all the rumours."
"What rumours?" Ronon asked, not sure if Lorne was messing with him.
"I don't want to gossip." Lorne replied. "I just hope they're not true. But seeing how close he's getting to her, maybe they are true."
Again Ronon turned to stare at Higgs who was busy taking the ball from Jennifer, from a very close distance. Turning back to Lorne Ronon demanded.
"What rumours?"
"The ones about Higgs being interested in the doc. Romantically. Don't get me wrong he's a good kid, but he doesn't know the rules here yet. Yeah, he should not have done that." Lorne added nodding at Higgs who had just accidently brushed pass Jennifer. Ronon watched and waited.
As Higgs once again got close to Jennifer Ronon ran over and growled at him causing John to call a time out.
"Ronon. Intimidate the other team not your team."
"Tell him to stop touching her. It's not right."
"I haven't laid a finger on her." Higgs protested earning another growl from Ronon.
"Fine. New plan. Ronon mark the doc."
Silently nodding Ronon walked back onto court.
"I like the way you made it sound like you had a choice in that." Sam commented grinning.
-00-
"Hey." Jennifer smiled as Ronon walked over to her.
"Hi." Ronon replied as he became distracted by the kit she was wearing. Realising he was staring he asked. "You having fun?"
"No. You?"
"Don't see the point of the game." Ronon confessed as the whistle blew, although neither felt the need to become more involved in the game. "You want to do something after this? Just us I mean."
"Won't you be tied up in the team bonding meal?"
"Not if I don't go." He said as he got distracted by what she was wearing again.
"Is it that bad?" Jennifer asked looking down. "I'll kill him. He said it looked fine."
"It loo-, you look great." Ronon replied.
Neither of them saw the ball that was flying towards them until it was inches from Jennifer's head. Spotting it just in time Ronon stuck out a hand and punched the ball away as Jennifer ducked. Before Jennifer had a chance to recover Ronon was marching towards Higgs, who had thrown the ball.
"Easy Chewie." John said hurrying over before Ronon did anything to his team mate. However, by the time he managed to get there the referee had already had to intervene.
"Bench now." The burly sergeant ordered Ronon.
"You can't bench him." John protested. "He hasn't done anything."
"He's gone for Higgs twice this game already." The sergeant-referee pointed out.
"Whose in his own team." John countered.
"Precisely. Who knows what will happen when the opposition upset him. He's benched for ten minutes. If he manages not to attack anyone he can come back after that."
"That's not even in the rule book." John protested.
"Colonel Carter put me in charge. My court, my rules." The sergeant replied, the power quickly going to his head. "Of course if you would like to join him…."
"Fine." John said backing away, turning to Ronon he said.
"Bench. Ten minutes. No attacking or threatening anyone. If you are good you can spar with the ref tomorrow."
Shrugging Ronon walked of the court, smiling at Jennifer as he did so, and sat on the bench.
"New plan. Carter you mark Keller." John finished.
-00-
By the time Ronon was allowed back on the court John's team were over twenty points down.
"Okay we need to pull together if we are going to win. That means no attacking your teammates." He said looking at Ronon. "And everyone needs to take part." He added looking at Rodney.
"Alternatively we could concede defeat and go and eat." Rodney suggested.
"Not until we have beaten Lorne." John replied. "So, Ronon you are marking Lorne. Don't fall for his mind tricks this time. Rodney you take the doc. The rest of us will employ a sliding defence. Let's go."
As Rodney joined Jennifer she asked. "Should I be offended that you are my fourth marker of the game?"
"Could be a compliment." Rodney said. "Just to clarify, you are enjoying yourself as little as me aren't you? You have no real interest in the game and you aren't going to run?"
"Were they questions or statements?" Jennifer asked.
"Both."
"Most of what you said was correct."
"Most? What wasn't? Please tell me you're not going to run around."
"Sorry." Jennifer said sympathetically. "I have my orders."
"Which are?"
"Confidential. But there is running. Lots of running." Jennifer said as the whistle blew. The second it did she took off, reluctantly followed by McKay.
After two minutes a breathless Rodney called a time out, the last John had in reserve.
"This had better be good." John said.
"Need doctor. Not sure I'll make it." He wheezed.
"You're marking a doctor." John pointed out.
"She's the one who is making me run."
"Man up McKay." John replied. "Let's go."
Still panting Rodney walked over to Jennifer and begged.
"Please stop running."
"Can't do that. But you could stand still." Jennifer suggested taking off again. This time Rodney stood still until John bellowed.
"Get after her."
Sighing Rodney ran after Jennifer. Just as he reached her she changed direction and ended up tripping over Rodney's foot and falling to the floor.
As she hit the ground an expectant silence fell over the gym as the audience waited for Ronon's reaction.
"Doc? You okay?" Ronon asked dropping down beside her.
"I think so." She said sitting up.
"You sure? I can get a doctor. Take you to the infirmary." Ronon offered, his eyes full of concern.
"Tempting as it would get me out of the game. But I'm okay." Jennifer said before whispering. "Why's the gym so quiet?"
"They're waiting for Ronon to attack Rodney." Lorne explained as he knelt down next to Jennifer.
"Why?" Rodney asked.
"You tripped her." Lorne shrugged.
"It was an accident." Rodney protested. "But I still don't see what that has to do with Ronon attacking me. She did more damage to my foot than I did to her. He should be protecting me not her. I don't understand why he wouldn't protect his team first."
"Of course you don't." Lorne said as Jennifer attempted to stand.
"Easy doc." Ronon said as he stood beside her ready to take her weight.
When she was finally standing a roar went up in the gym, causing Jennifer to redden with embarrassment.
"Sure you're okay?" Lorne asked. "You can sit the rest of the game out."
"No. I'm good." Jennifer said not wanting to let the team down even though she was still moving a little gingerly.
"That's my girl." Lorne smiled, earning a growl from Ronon.
"Just an expression." Lorne smirked holding his hands up defensively.
-00-
When the final whistle blew Lorne walked over to Sheppard who reluctantly offered his congratulations.
"Well played Major. On all levels. I never knew you had it in you to be so devious."
"All the time spent with the IOA had to pay off sometime." Lorne shrugged.
"You do remember the point of this tournament was team bonding?" Sam asked.
"Yes ma'am." Lorne replied.
"Perhaps you could explain why Higgs is afraid to be within fifty feet of Ronon then." Sam said.
"Apparently Ronon has been listening to groundless rumours regarding Higgs and the doc." Lorne shrugged.
"Which I'm sure you didn't spread." Sam said.
"I don't gossip. I told Ronon as much." Lorne replied, knowing he was only buying time.
"Good. In that case you can unspread the rumour you didn't spread. I want Higgs to feel comfortable around Ronon." Sam ordered.
"Yes ma'am." Lorne replied looking slightly sheepish.
"And then, as the winning Captain I think you owe us all a drink." John said. "In the interest of team bonding and all that."
"Yes Sir." Lorne replied as he looked round for Ronon. Drawing a blank he signalled over to Sanchez and asked.
"Have you seen Ronon?"
"Yes Sir. He left."
"What do you mean left?" John asked. "He is meant to be with his team."
"I think he's changed teams." Sanchez replied. "That is to say he was more interested in spending time with the doc. They left together a couple of minutes ago."
"First she starts a fight, then she assaults a player, now she splits up my team. Do I even want to know what will happen in the next match?" John asked.