Disclaimer: I'm still working on trying to own at least one or two of these guys, but it isn't working...
Les Phantom of the Miserables - Part Three
(Now it is 1823, and we are outside a factory surrounded by poor workers in the town of Montreuil-sur-Mer. Phan Valphan is now the mayor of the community, under the name, Monsieur Madelphan.)
The Company: *Dressed in various rags*
At the end of the day you're another day older
And that's all you can say for the life of the poor
It's a struggle, it's a war
And there's nothing that anyone's giving
One more day standing about
What is it for?
One day less to be living!
Raoul: *sniffs* I know exactly what they're talking about.
Phantom: *scornfully* You stupid fop, you're an aristocrat! You're rich! You don't know a thing about pain and suffering!
Raoul: *whining* Yes I do! Everybody hates me! None of the phans ever treat me with respect or dignity, you know! You always end up getting Christine and I always end up looking like the bad guy in the phics!
Madame Giry: He's got a point there.
Phantom: *grumbles* I suppose... but it isn't the same thing...
Christine: *blank stare* Huh?
(Don Attilio enters as the Foreman)
Don Attilio: *singing at least an octave lower than the original score*
At the end of the day you get nothing for nothing
Sitting flat on your butt doesn't buy any breeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Chantal: *Interrupts the long low note* Um... Don, what are you doing?
Meg: This isn't Il Muto, you fool! Let the others sing already!
Don Attilio: Oh. Sorry...um,
*sings* doesn't buy any bread.
(The Workers gripe and complain about how little they make and how terrible their lives are. They also talk about another worker named Girine - Madame Giry in a long curly blond wig, and not looking too thrilled about it. Girine is reading a letter.)
Ballet Rat: *snatches letter from Girine* And what have we here little innocent sister?
Madame Giry: *Swiftly smacks the girl on the head with her cane* Give that back!
(The ballet rat promptly passes out onto the floor with a concussion. A group of dancers rush out and try to revive her while dragging her offstage.)
Chantal: Madame!
Madame Giry: I do not tolerate impertinence in my ballet corps!
Phantom: *chuckles* Nice aim, Madame.
Chantal: But she was supposed to take your letter! Read the script!
Madame Giry: Oh...
Meg: *offstage* Mother! You're embarrassing me!
Chantal: *sighs* Madame, if you were going to beat the poor child you could have at least waited until when you two were supposed to be fighting. *raises voice* Would any of the other ballet rats or chorus members like to replace the girl in this scene?
(Long awkward pause...)
Chantal: I suppose not. Very well. Moving on...
(It is discovered that Girine has a child...)
Christine: Is that me?
Raoul: Yes indeed, my sweet.
Phantom: *looks disgusted*
(...and she is discharged from the factory. Alone, she sings a song of despair and shattered dreams.)
Madame Giry: *singing mysteriously*
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
Andre: *offstage* I thought Christine was the dreamer around here...
Firmin: Oh hush, Andre.
Madame Giry: *still singing mysteriously*
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed!
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed....
*stalks offstage and speaks*
Thank God that's over with.
Carlotta: *smirks* Don't be to a-sure, Madame. You have-a to play a whore in the next scene.
Madame Giry: *turns on Chantal, cane flailing* WHAT?!
Chantal: *dodges* Oh c'mon, Madame, it's just for a little while. Then you can die and not show up again until the very end of the show.
Ballet Rat who was smacked earlier: *offstage shout* Can't she just die altogether and leave us dancers alone?
Madame Giry: *shouts back* When this is all over, I'm going to put you in a body cast!
Phantom: *patting Giry on the shoulder* Now, now, Madame. I can't keep you as a messenger if you're going to be in jail for armed assault.
(Giry shrugs off his hand and stalks off to prepare for the next scene.)
Les Phantom of the Miserables - Part Three
(Now it is 1823, and we are outside a factory surrounded by poor workers in the town of Montreuil-sur-Mer. Phan Valphan is now the mayor of the community, under the name, Monsieur Madelphan.)
The Company: *Dressed in various rags*
At the end of the day you're another day older
And that's all you can say for the life of the poor
It's a struggle, it's a war
And there's nothing that anyone's giving
One more day standing about
What is it for?
One day less to be living!
Raoul: *sniffs* I know exactly what they're talking about.
Phantom: *scornfully* You stupid fop, you're an aristocrat! You're rich! You don't know a thing about pain and suffering!
Raoul: *whining* Yes I do! Everybody hates me! None of the phans ever treat me with respect or dignity, you know! You always end up getting Christine and I always end up looking like the bad guy in the phics!
Madame Giry: He's got a point there.
Phantom: *grumbles* I suppose... but it isn't the same thing...
Christine: *blank stare* Huh?
(Don Attilio enters as the Foreman)
Don Attilio: *singing at least an octave lower than the original score*
At the end of the day you get nothing for nothing
Sitting flat on your butt doesn't buy any breeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Chantal: *Interrupts the long low note* Um... Don, what are you doing?
Meg: This isn't Il Muto, you fool! Let the others sing already!
Don Attilio: Oh. Sorry...um,
*sings* doesn't buy any bread.
(The Workers gripe and complain about how little they make and how terrible their lives are. They also talk about another worker named Girine - Madame Giry in a long curly blond wig, and not looking too thrilled about it. Girine is reading a letter.)
Ballet Rat: *snatches letter from Girine* And what have we here little innocent sister?
Madame Giry: *Swiftly smacks the girl on the head with her cane* Give that back!
(The ballet rat promptly passes out onto the floor with a concussion. A group of dancers rush out and try to revive her while dragging her offstage.)
Chantal: Madame!
Madame Giry: I do not tolerate impertinence in my ballet corps!
Phantom: *chuckles* Nice aim, Madame.
Chantal: But she was supposed to take your letter! Read the script!
Madame Giry: Oh...
Meg: *offstage* Mother! You're embarrassing me!
Chantal: *sighs* Madame, if you were going to beat the poor child you could have at least waited until when you two were supposed to be fighting. *raises voice* Would any of the other ballet rats or chorus members like to replace the girl in this scene?
(Long awkward pause...)
Chantal: I suppose not. Very well. Moving on...
(It is discovered that Girine has a child...)
Christine: Is that me?
Raoul: Yes indeed, my sweet.
Phantom: *looks disgusted*
(...and she is discharged from the factory. Alone, she sings a song of despair and shattered dreams.)
Madame Giry: *singing mysteriously*
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
Andre: *offstage* I thought Christine was the dreamer around here...
Firmin: Oh hush, Andre.
Madame Giry: *still singing mysteriously*
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed!
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed....
*stalks offstage and speaks*
Thank God that's over with.
Carlotta: *smirks* Don't be to a-sure, Madame. You have-a to play a whore in the next scene.
Madame Giry: *turns on Chantal, cane flailing* WHAT?!
Chantal: *dodges* Oh c'mon, Madame, it's just for a little while. Then you can die and not show up again until the very end of the show.
Ballet Rat who was smacked earlier: *offstage shout* Can't she just die altogether and leave us dancers alone?
Madame Giry: *shouts back* When this is all over, I'm going to put you in a body cast!
Phantom: *patting Giry on the shoulder* Now, now, Madame. I can't keep you as a messenger if you're going to be in jail for armed assault.
(Giry shrugs off his hand and stalks off to prepare for the next scene.)