At Conner's insistence, or rather Conner's tentative suggestion since the boy was still having occasional attacks of low self-esteem, Clark, Lex, and Conner now had an established "movie night." So Clark's sudden appearance that Saturday evening wasn't at all surprising, but the way he plopped down on the couch next to Lex and laid his head back, eyes closed, without offering any sort of greeting was.

"Hello," said Lex.

"Hey," Clark replied, slitting his eyes open the barest bit to look at Lex. "Where's Conner?"

"In the kitchen," Lex told him. "He supposedly went in there to get Gretchen to show him where she kept the popcorn, but he's been gone long enough now that he's probably convincing her to make him one last batch of cookies before she leaves."

"Probably," Clark agreed with a huge yawn.

"Tired?" Lex asked, amused, since he hadn't even realized Clark could get tired.

Clark hummed in agreement. "Mudslide in Bolivia, then a tsunami in China, and the Circe was upset about something or other so a couple of us helped Diana out with her."

Lex frowned. "I thought your powers didn't give you any special defenses against magic." It seemed like a waste of resources to use Superman's time and energy on a problem where he didn't have any particular advantages.

"Yeah, but lack of invulnerability doesn't mean I can't still fly and shoot beams of heat out of my eyes," Clark pointed out. "Besides I volunteered."

Which, as far as Lex was concerned, just meant there needed to be someone in their little group in charge of making sure they weren't all running themselves ragged in their eagerness to help others. Lex was about to say as much to Clark, when Clark decided to relax further into the couch and let his head loll to the side and come to rest on Lex's shoulder. Through sheer force of will Lex was able to keep himself from reaching up and finding out if Clark's hair could possibly be as soft and silky as it looked, but any other thoughts he might have had completely vacated his head.

"I'm just really tired for some reason," Clark said.

"I can tell," Lex agreed. He was not going to pet Clark's hair.

"You know," Clark said, "I didn't think sleeping on the couch was going to be a problem, since I can't really feel uncomfortable, but I'm starting to think I'm not getting as much rest as I would on a bed."

"It's been almost three months; shouldn't you have found a place by now?" He was not going to pet Clark's hair… but since Clark was already resting his head on Lex's shoulder maybe it would be okay if Lex rested his hand in Clark's hair. Not petting, just resting.

"I know, but it's not like I've had a lot of time to look for one," Clark said, sitting up again. Damn. "And all the places I have looked at were too small, too expensive, or in a bad area. Which wouldn't be a problem if it was just me, but Conner…"

"Of course," Lex agreed. Just because there wasn't any concern of Conner being physically hurt, didn't mean that anywhere even remotely near somewhere that could possibly be called a bad area was any place for him. Or Clark either, in Lex's opinion. "If you'd like," Lex offered, "you could write down what you're looking for and I could have one of my people put together a list for you, to save you time searching."

Clark quirked a smile. "You know, most people would just offer to help look."

"I could do that instead," Lex said, hastily back-stepping. He didn't particularly know anything about apartment hunting, but he had run into Clark's strange aversion to gifts before and sometimes it was just easier to go along with it than try to fight him over it.

"Lex," Clark said with a grin, "I was just teasing you. If you want to help, then I'm grateful, no matter how you plan to go about it. Well, as long as it's not anything illegal. And if you ever need someone to save you from a psychopathic killer or move some furniture around, I'm your guy."

Clark was his guy, huh? Lex definitely liked the sound of that. "So this isn't about your odd dislike of gifts?"

"I don't have a problem with gifts," Clark objected.

"Really?" Lex asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Really," said Clark, and then he seemed to get what Lex was referring to because he rolled his eyes. "That was not about a dislike of gifts. That was about not letting you spoil Conner rotten."

"I don't see what's wrong with getting presents for my son."

"He can't even drive yet!" Clark exclaimed and okay, maybe Lex could see why that might be a good reason not to give someone a car. But having a car he couldn't drive would motivate Conner to get his license that much faster, right? "Look, it's fine if you want to give Conner things, just try to save the big stuff for special occasions, alright?"

Lex was kept from replying when Conner appeared in the doorway with, as predicted, a plate full of cookies. "Look, Gretchen made chocolate chocolate chunk cookies. They're like chocolate chip cookies, only the chips are actually these huge chunks of chocolate and there's cocoa in the dough so the actual cookie is chocolate too. They're amazing."

"Oh, I'm the one spoiling him," Lex muttered. Clark just shrugged and stole a cookie off the plate.

Conner stood in front of the couch and eyed the space between Lex and Clark. There really wasn't enough room for him there, but since he didn't show any inclination to sit elsewhere, Lex obligingly moved over. Conner grinned at him and then settled down in the newly created spot, placing the plate on his lap. "So, what were you guys talking about?"

"Clark's continued inability to find an apartment and whether or not getting a learner's permit counts as a special occasion," Lex responded.

"It does not," Clark said. Then, after a pause, "Getting a driver's license does."

"Does this mean I'm getting a car?" Conner asked.

"After you get your driver's license," Lex told him.

"Awesome," said Conner and then he stuffed a whole cookie into his mouth at once. Lex barely had time to process the appalling lack of manners that his son had had instilled when Conner swallowed about half of his food and said, "But I don't get why you don't just move in with Dad, Clark."

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Clark said by route before registering what Conner actually said. "Conner!"

"Mmmm?" Conner said, having apparently taken Clark's admonishments seriously. Then he swallowed the rest of his mouthful and tried again. "What?"

"You can't just invite someone to move into someone else's place," Clark said.

"I wasn't," Conner protested, a little too innocent. "I just thought it would be a good idea because you spend a lot of time here and Dad's got plenty of space that he's not even really using."

Lex didn't believe that for a second. He wasn't sure if Conner was trying to do his own little remake of Parent Trap or if it was just a more prosaic desire to keep Clark and Lex in the same place because it would make it easier on Conner, but either way, Lex wasn't complaining.

"Uh-huh," Clark said, clearly not believing Conner any more than Lex did. "Well, you do know that I couldn't possibly afford to live in a penthouse."

"I wouldn't charge you rent, if you wanted to stay here," Lex said. Clark started to frown and Lex hurried to cut-off his protestations – Clark definitely had an aversion to gifts. "Because I don't pay any rent myself, or for utilities. I get it as one of the perks of my job. It wouldn't make any sense for me to charge you for something I'm not paying for either."

"I guess," Clark said hesitantly, "but I still can't just live off of you."

"You wouldn't have to live off of me, you could still buy your own toiletries, clothes" – because they all saw how well Clark took it the last time Lex had tried to buy him clothes – "then we could share the expenses for food and other things that need regular replacing, such as light bulbs and what not."

"What about the help?" Clark asked. "If I'm not going to be physically doing any of the chores around the house, then I'd still want to contribute to it getting done somehow."

Lex did a few quick calculations in his head. If Clark wasn't paying any sort of rent or utility bills then he could probably afford to cover half of what Lex paid to have the penthouse cleaned once a week, but there was no way that he could also afford half of the salary of a full-time chef. It was clear, however, that Clark wasn't willing to just let it drop, so Lex thought it over, did so more quick calculations, and then finally offered, "I would need to give Gretchen and the cleaning staff a raise if there was going to be more than just me living here; you could pay for that." Lex would just have to make a few calls and get the exact figures for Clark's salary, so he could be sure the cost of the raises would fit into Clark's budget.

Clark appeared to contemplate that for a minute or two before nodding. "That sounds fair. But what about-" Clark's eyes darted lightning quick toward Conner, who was playing at innocuous and uninterested and staring at his plate of cookies as though picking the next one he was going to eat required all his concentration. Lex would have a talk with Conner about subtlety later.

"You can't honestly think I'd have a problem with that?" Lex said, incredulous.

"I had to ask," Clark said. "It's proven to be a make or break kind of thing." Conner stared at the cookies even harder and Lex was pretty sure he was dying to ask what 'it' was. No matter, he'd find out in a few minutes here anyway.

"The more the merrier," Lex assured him.

Clark's face brightened and Lex started to privately celebrate getting exactly what he wanted without potentially being obsessive by asking – thank God for Conner's lack of tact – when Clark's expression turned right back around into a frown again. "You aren't just offering because Conner mentioned it and you want to be accommodating, are you?"

"I-" don't do things just to be accommodating, Lex started to say, but then he remembered the shelf in his pantry, specially exempt from his cook's incomprehensible organization system – Lex knew Gretchen liked Conner better than him – full of junk food that Lex wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole (well, except maybe some hot chocolate when he couldn't sleep). "-wouldn't invite someone to live with me just to be accommodating," Lex finished.

Clark looked at Lex suspiciously and Lex wondered if maybe he had done that very thing at some point in the past. But then Clark shrugged it off and smiled. "Then that sounds great, and I'll take you up on it. Thank you."

"Good," Conner said, abruptly abandoning his cookie contemplation. Lex really needed to have a talk with him about subtly. "Now when I come to Metropolis I can visit both of you at the same time."

"Actually," Clark said, "I need to talk to you about that."

Conner looked at Clark carefully, and then set his plate of cookies, which was looking pretty picked over by this point since Conner was even more of a bottomless pit than Clark, down on the coffee table and settled himself even deeper into the couch and, consequently, more securely between Clark and Lex. "What is it?"

Lex considered Conner need for a safe spot, contrasted it with the complete lack of any evidence of anxiety in his tone or posture, and decided that, on the whole, it represented a reasonable improvement in his self-confidence. It was good to know they were doing something right, even if Conner's manners did leave something to be desired.

"I didn't want to say anything before I actually found a place, but I talked it over with Mom and we decided that, if you wanted to, when I moved into my new place you would move in with me. And Lex too now, I guess," Clark said, looking at Conner a little uncertainly, like he was actually afraid the boy would say no. Of course, if Lex had been the one to do the asking, he'd probably be a nervous wreck – on the inside at least – so maybe he shouldn't judge.

Conner froze, in the way that was really only possible with Kryptonian, or half-Kryptonian as the case may be, muscle control. "Really?"

"Really," Clark assured him.

What happened next must have, Lex surmised, included super-speed, and possibly some amount of super-strength as well, because one moment he was sitting on the couch and the next he was enfolded in what he could only assume was a group hug. Lex laughed lightly. "Does this mean yes?"

"Yes, yes, yes," Conner enthused. "You guys are the best Dads ever!"

Suddenly Conner pulled away, looking abashed. "That is – I didn't mean-"

"Conner," Clark said, smiling softly, "you can call me Dad if you want."

Conner lunged at Clark, pushing him back onto the couch and then literally knocking the, slightly massive, piece of furniture over backwards with a resounding crack that Lex really hoped came from the couch and not the hardwood floor. Or Clark's spine.

Lex peered over the couch to see Clark sprawled out across the ground with Conner on top of him, his face buried in Clark's chest. There was a faint humming noise coming from Conner, which Lex recognized as someone talking at speeds too fast for the human ear to discern, and Clark appeared to be absorbing every word, smiling and rubbing his hand up and down Conner's back. Clark looked up and, still with that same soft smile, met Lex's eyes. A warm feeling stole over Lex and settled right in the pit of his stomach.

Oh God, he was in so much trouble.

AN: Sequel is "Intermission: Hell Hath No Fury (Like a Woman With a Mission)" (Story ID: 8774438)