Not Totally Alone

Chapter 1

I am in District 12 and I'm alone. The only person that came back with me was Haymitch and he is always drunk and we don't really talk. But, I need company even if it is Haymitch. That is how I know I have hit rock bottom. I want to be around Haymitch. Wait. I want to be around Haymitch? Why? I must have completely lost my mind now. Well, that was inevitable I guess but I never thought it would be like this. I also am in serious need of a drink so I can numb everything out. So, I decide that I will go to Haymitch's house. He is company, albeit, not very good company, but beggars can't be choosers.

When I arrive at Haymitch's front he looks shocked to see me at on his doorstep. That makes two of us. He lets me in and asks "What is it, Sweetheart?"

"I need a drink," I reply. I left out the part about needing company because that is not how we do things. We don't talk about our feelings of loneliness. I don't need to say this because we can read each other so well that I am sure he already knows. No need to state the obvious and look weak. He lets me in and pours me a glass of some amber liquid. I don't really want to know what it is so I don't ask. It probably tastes disgusting anyway. But I'm not here for the taste. I am here for the feeling the alcohol induces. It takes away the memories and numbs me for a while. I don't want to feel anything and that amber liquid will make that possible. So, I take the glass from Haymitch's outstretched hand and chug the contents as fast as I can. I wince and cough as the alcohol burns my throat. I welcome the pain. I deserve the pain. Everyone I care about has either abandoned me or is dead and it is my fault. Haymitch looks at me with a hint of concern in his eyes. "Slow down, Sweetheart," he says. I hold out my glass so he will pour me some more. He looks at me skeptically for a moment then proceeds to pour me another drink. Again I finish it in one swig. This time the pain isn't as bad but I still cough and sputter. How the hell does he drink this stuff every day? I wonder to myself. Well, he is a hardened alcoholic I think to myself. Hell, if I could get past the taste I would do it too. It helps and anything that helps is alright with me. I have nothing to live for anymore and I honestly don't give a damn what happens to me now. When I am done with my fifth drink I reach for the bottle to pour another when, to my surprise, Haymitch stops me.

"That is enough, Sweetheart." He says with his "listen to you mentor" voice that he used when giving me advice before my games.

"No, it's not I say angrily grabbing the bottle and finishing the last fourth of the bottle in a few gulps. I didn't use a glass because Haymitch probably wouldn't have given me time to pour the liquor into my glass. He raises his eyebrows with a concerned look on his face.

"Katniss, this is not good. What are you doing? Are you trying to kill yourself?" He shouts angrily.

"Since when do you care about what happens to me?" I spit back with more anger than was necessary. I see hurt and pain register on his face. "You think I don't care about you, Sweetheart?" He says with so much sadness in his voice I am taken aback.

"I know you don't so don't pretend like you do. You just don't want me to drink all of your precious liquor!" I am yelling now. I am angry because I am confused by his reaction to my question. I have never seen Haymitch look hurt like this and especially not because of me. What is going on? "Fine," I say. "If I can't have anymore of you liquor I will get my own." And with that I storm out of his house and slam the door behind me. I walk back to my house where I quickly pass out from the copious amounts of alcohol I have consumed tonight.

A/N: Please read and review and tell me if you want me to write more.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games or any of the characters.

-NefariousEnvy