Pure fun with Doc Knock as he tries an interesting solution to his constantly interrupted beauty treatment. Far more humor than dark but no romance. Enjoy the first chapter which is less about story more about preening.

This is set just after season 2's episode 'Hurt'

Knock Out was really starting to hate this planet. The rough, grit covered roads ready to bounce up and chip his finish. The mud and rain, trying to get under his paintwork. And worst of all; Knock Out gave a shiver that ran along his whole frame; the birds and their...doings. Forget the Autobots, this whole fragging world was out to strip him of his finish and no one, not one mech on Nemesis cared, not anymore at least.

Ever since Breakdown had gone...missing, Knock Out was sure that mech was off enjoying himself while he was forced to work his aft off. Worse of all, now he had to see to all his own buffing and detailing, and there were just some places on his chassis that he could not reach or apply the right pressure to. The doctor had even tried to rig up a remote arm he could operate but his finish was so paramount he found himself unable to trust the lifeless thing. Still at least the arm would not deliberately put any more scratches into his beautiful paintwork, not like Starscream or Megatron, and it made a great tool holder when he worked.

There were however a few good points to this slag heap of a world. Humans knew how to put together a fine looking alt form. The Medic slowed his speed down to glide next to a transport truck whose sheer metallic casing reflected Knock Out's perfection from a slightly top down angle. Ohhh he looked good.

"Hello Handsome." The sleek lines and strong curves of the red Aston Martin DBS V12 shone back at him to only further his preening. It was a form that spoke of not only speed but also power and style, a deadly combination that only he laid claim to, and if anyone said otherwise...well lets just say they got some complimentary cosmetic surgery.

Pulling back slightly to enjoy the full effect of his departure, Knock Out raced past the truck and towards one of the few spots on Earth he could tolerate for any amount of time. The humans called it an Auto superstore, Knock Out called it a gift from the All Spark. While true that human car products would never match up to their Cybertronian counterparts, it was not like he could nip back home and grab a few supplies. Thus he had spent his time on this mud ball sampling and testing all the organics had to offer. Not on himself, at least not until he was sure it was safe for him to use. After all that was what spare parts and servant drones were for.

Getting hold of said products had however been a pain at first. Megatron, and later Starscream, wanted them all to keep a low profile to reduce any human interference in their plans. The fleshbags might be primitive but they were also numerous, and about as difficult to exterminate as a Scraplings nest; just when you think you got them all, more of the vermin would show up. So Knock Out had go down a few other routes.

Internet ordering had looked perfect at first, but he was not a very skilled hacker, even if the so called 'information highway' was primitive, and he had yet to be able to convince that slagger Soundwave as to why he needed a fake account, then again what did he expect from that mech, he knew more about good conversation then he did about style.

Next he had tried the outlet stores. These were more promising but required him to produce a holo-form to get what he wanted, and no hard light was able to be sustained at the distance he needed it to go. Thankfully the Doctor put his brilliant mind to the task and came up with the solution - money. Little scraps of paper that represented credit on this world, get enough of it and you could get the humans to do whatever you wanted - even do all the shopping and bring it out for you. Plus getting the money had proved very easy, at least for Knock Out. Street races proved to not only be fun but a great source of income and took place all around the world. Which was lucky as K.O. found out the hard way that humans got very aggressive when you tried to pay them in something other than the local currency.

Nowadays the Con Doc had a good routine going with three different stores, one in Europe, one in China and one in America, each one supplying him with the best products he had found. He was visiting the American one today, though far sooner than he had originally planned to. His last run in with the Autobots had almost cleaned him out of the paint he used. The fragging Bot's and their human pets had hit him with a train...a TRAIN. Why, the state of his chassis had been horrendous and it had taken him hours to get himself back to any sort of decent shine, then some scrap brained Insecticon had ruined everything! To top it all off, all Megatron cared about was getting Soundwave's visor fixed. Didn't he see the pain his medical officer was going through?

Knock Out's engine revved in anger as he tore up the pitiful excuse the humans called a road and swung round into an open parking spot spraying gravel on several cars and humans in the process. Two honks of his horn and Knock Out quickly gained himself a human lackey ready to take his order and see to his every whim. They were used to him here and had quickly learnt that the longer he was left waiting the smaller their tip would be.

Rattling off his list of supplies to the waiting and eager servant helped cool his engine, at least these humans gave him some respect. He didn't even need to maintain a holo-form and just kept his windows dark.

"I will personally make sure to get everything on the list for you Mr Aston. If I might suggest, we do have a new hand car washing and valeting area around the side. Free of charge of course. The roads can get awfully dusty around these parts." Knock Out had to admit he quite liked being the one in charge every now and then, having others sucking up to him - even if they were human vermin. Not that he had any plans of trying to knock Megatron off his pedestal. He would leave that fools errand for Starscream

"I might just do that." Knock Out replied casually before revving his engine and pulling out of his bay. He only just missing the human, but did get to enjoy the quick look of panic that passed over its face.

The doctor slowly rolled into the cleaning area that had been pointed out to him, after all it would be a few breems before they had gathered all of the components on his list so why not relax a little and get some of the Earth filth off him. The humans working at their stations seemed competent at their jobs and, so long as they didn't use any products without his approval, it was safe enough. Besides one scratch and he would simply demand more products in compensation, the humans here knew the value of looking good.

His arrival had sparked a flurry of activity and each pair of humans that were not currently occupied with another vehicle were vying for his attention, some even waving and showing their their bay was free. Knock Out gave a smug sigh to himself. Let Megatron rule with fear and domination; he preferred to use charm, good looks and good old fashioned greed.

Pulling into a bay with two curvy human females, who thankfully had not opted for the talons many of their class often sported. Knock Out cut out his engine and kicked in his charm.

"Hello ladies. It would seem I get to help myself to your services for free. Of course, depending on how good a job you both do, could persuade me to make a donation."

"Of course sir"

"What sort of a treatment were you looking for?" Both femmes smiled as they looked him...well his alt-form, over. One was pale, with white gold fur on top of her head held in two draping wings either side. The other was slightly darker and had deep red fur held tight to the head after which it then billowed out into a cloud of red froth at the back.

"Just a rinse and dry, no products at all."

"Aww" Pouted the red one "sure you don't want me to come inside and give your beast a once over?"

"Just the outside is fine ladies." Ugg, like he needed humans crawling around in his internal compartment. No more was said as the two humans went about cleaning the dust and bugs from his chassis with cool, but not cold, water. Perfect.

This was the life thought Knock Out. Maybe he could convince Megatron to see just how useful trained humans could be, their quick, small, fleshy fingers were almost made for these sorts of tasks. Maybe they could have facilities like this set up in the Nemesis? Surely even Megatron enjoyed the feeling of being clean and gleaming, he had heard rumours that their Lord kept an oil bath in his private quarters. Lucky Con.

Halfway through getting dry his purchases arrived and were quickly packed away in his trunk which he opened himself. The money, as well as a very generous tip, sat where it usually did in one of his compartments and was quickly collected and tucked away with a receipt put in its former place. Both of his bathers took a look inside but were disappointed to find their view of the 'driver' was blocked by a glass screen. The screen was not really there, just a hologram, but it was easier to maintain than a human holo-form would have been, and a lot less of a hassle to get right.

With everything stowed away Knock Out was left to finish his clean up. After all he was not about to risk water marks on his paint job, so remained where he was as the girls continued using microfiber cloths to dry every last drop from his body. The Doctor loved those cloths, he had even taken to buying the larges sheets he could direct from the manufacturer to drape over his berth and prevent and scratches as he recharged. As he sat being buffed a

thought slowly crept into Knock Out's processors, one he couldn't shake, and the more he lingered on it the more it grew.

"All done sir." Both girls were tossing their cloths into a container and moving the hose out of the way.

"Are you sure we can't tempt you into trying out our new detailing clay?"

"Maybe some other time. I do have a little tip in here if you like, for all your hard work." Knock Out opened his passenger side door a little and started up his holo form. He still didn't like the idea of a human inside him but all that thought of how useful Humans could be had started his processors going. With Brakedown missing he was getting less and less time to focus on his finish. Even Megatron couldn't deny the fact that he needed his medic in top condition, and missing recharge cycles to repair the mutilations he was having to suffer was hardly going to help the crew. So why not…

The red human opened the door and smiled, the smile grew even more when the shadowed man in front of her held up a hand displaying two $50 bills. However he was not moving his hand over to give her the money and instead waved it in front of himself enticingly. Reaching forward the red human gasped with confusion when her fingers went through the holographic money. She didn't even have enough time to work out she was not getting her tip before she was zapped into unconsciousness and pulled all the way inside.

The other human female only turned when she heard the door slam shut, which was a good job, because she had to quickly jump out of the way of the speeding Aston Martin.

Knock Out called in the ground bridge once he had found a good spot off the road, no doubts he would have human law enforcers on his trail already, a trail that was about to run out very quickly. One of the benefits of being the only Medical Con was you got all sorts of favors from the troops. After all, it was always best to stay on the good side of the doctor (no matter how small that side might be). They were used to his little trips to pick up 'medical supplies' so there was nothing suspicious about Doc Knock staying in vehicle mode once he was on the ship.

"Did you get everything you needed sir." Asked one of the cons at the bridge controls. He didn't really want to know, he just wanted to be remembered incase he needed some medical help a little later down the line. Smart con.

"And a little extra." chuckled Knock Out as he rolled forward and waited for the door to open out into the corridor. "You can delete those coordinates from the files now, I don't think I will be needing them any more." He carried on down towards his quarters as he heard a few 'yes sirs' before the door closed behind him.

Sure he would have to find another shop to pick up a few particular supplies but if he could get this little experiment to work then he would have more than enough time to sort out that little problem. And if the human turned out to be too much of a problem he could simply drop it off the side of the ship, not that he expected trouble from one that had already been shown to have just the skills he wanted. After all, how hard could training a human be?