A/N: Given the season I was reading last year's Christmas submission (Twas...) and thought I'd add something for Garrus given the image I had chosen for the story. And, well, I just have the compelling need to pick on my favorite sidekick periodically ;)

Disclaimers: If you hate this, please send it to Congress. The sheer terror of it might make some of them retire. I make no Euros off anything that falls out of my head on to a keyboard. Nor do I own Mass Effect (If I did, I'd have 'held the line' on the dark energy story line. And given Harbinger an 'evil' mustache). :D

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You know Alyx and Shale and Daxter and Murray,
Cortana and HK and Cole and Wheatly,
But do you recall?
The most snarky sidekick of all?

Garrus the snarky sidekick (sidekick)
Had some very biting prose (like sharknado)
And if you ever heard it ('bird' it?)
You would even say he crows (like a raven)
And all of the other sidekicks (sidekicks)
Used to laugh and call him names (like sandwich)
They never let poor Garrus (a bad Turian)
Join in any sidekick games (like "hostages")

Then one fiery Apocalypse Eve, (sidekicks live for this)
The Hero came to say, ("I should go")
Garrus with your aim so true,
You take the lead of team two.

Then all the sidekicks loved him, (from a distance)
And they shouted out with glee, (whoo-pee…)
Garrus the snarky sidekick (sidekick)
You'll go down in hisss-toowww-reeee (like Master Chief)

...

Wait… Was that another obscure humanism, Shepard?