Welcome to Ace's Monologue

#1 Itchyfeet91

Hello there, I'm Lyra! It's really nice to have this opportunity to communicate with you. First of all, I'm a huge fan of all of you, the Whitebeard pirates are indeed the mightiest & strongest pirates of your world. Secondly, Mr. Ace, I know this topic is a bit touchy but I just want to say that: I don't really know much about how you really feel, however I do know that feeling of uselessness, of questioning if your existence is worth it. I feel it too often times. But I always remember this quote: "The 2 most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why" & feel enlightened. I think everyone was certainly born with a purpose in this world & everyone should just try to live on, keep their heads up & have the courage to flip their middle fingers to those who says they can't. Family & friends also play a great deal in our lives, and I'm glad you found yours Mr. Ace. I hope you find out your purpose soon and I wish you happiness, peace & contentment as well. You deserve it. Everyone does. :)

Anyway, onto lighter issues, here's the Questions. Are the nurses on the moby dick attractive & beautiful? Err... & how do you men handle the urges & stuff with all those pretty ladies on deck?

And Mr. Marco, you're one heck of a cool dude. Why don't you like revealing your age? Unless you're older than Whitebeard-san and your phoenix powers helps you rejuvenate & maintain your good looks. Let me guess your age, tell me if I'm close enough. ...55?

So that's it for now! Thanks for sticking through the end & not falling asleep. Here's your reward! *throws a modern day playboy magazine*

Thank you! Of course Whitebeard is the best!

To be honest, I still have not much of a clue as to why I was born. Yes, I was born through the mutual love-making of my… of Roger and my mother but that is to say I do not know much as to how to argue that my existence is important. However, your optimism is quite amazing, in the more intellectual-Luffy way. I mean that as a compliment. I do hope you're right… that I deserve happiness… You deserve it as well.

The nurses? Hmm, I guess they are attractive to a certain extent. Some men are just that desperate. I'm more dignified, at least I think I am. Throwing yourself on ladies is quite common among pirates though, but Oyaji prevents this because we're all family – he protects the girls from potential idiots. I'm more interested in fights, food and sleeping, if I say the least.

"He's asexual." A crew member whispered to Marco, who raised an eyebrow.

"He doesn't even LOOK at ladies – beautiful or not."

"That's because he spends most of his time sleeping." Another argued, flipping through an album of beautiful women that could compete with Sanji's album.

"Ace, let's discuss about your love – I mean lack of love life." Marco sat across him adorned with a serious expression.

"Oh shut up."

Marco – I am 25. End of question. No, I suppose I'm just that youthful-looking, and Oyaji is definitely older – he has white hair.

"At least forty…" Ace observed, rubbing his chin.

The next moment there was a gigantic hole on the wall where Ace was leaning against.

"MARCO. ACE. STOP MAKING ME REPAIR THE WALLS AND FURNITURE!" Their shipwright growled, chasing after them with a giant hammer.

"What is this magazine?" With the caption, 'TOP 10 HOT BACHELORS TO DROOL OVER', Marco surveyed it with somewhat between doubtfulness and amusement.

"Their abs aren't even that well defined." Ace stole the magazine from him, pouring over it.

"Talk about cocky."

#2 InaudibleScream

Hii, my name's Marina, which basically means from the sea. People also call me the marine, like my parents and my sister, I used to find it funny but now I realize I don't want to be compared to marines, pirates are cooler. Most people say my name is pretty but it just makes me imagine some sea creature like figure coming out of the sea. Wait, does that mean I'm devil fruit users' biggest fear? Ahah, would've been cool. ;P I'm surely yours anyway. Why should you be afraid of me? Lemons. Does that ring a bell? I'm sure you've seen and even read some fanfiction of you indulging in M rated activities. Oh, and AceLu, don't say it's unoriginal and creepy, Ace don't be such a tsundere, admit things to yourself. I really do enjoy those fanfictions and fanart. Especially the fanart. Your naked body is nice by the way.

So can your spit turn to fire? and your mouth? like drooling flames? or can you breathe fire like a dragon? How many degrees is your body anyway? can you adjust it as you like? And have you accidentally burned someone before? Or something? And have you ever worried about having sex and then burning them? Do you spew fire when you're drunk?

Freaked out yet?

And ah tell Marco for me his hair and eyes both freak me out and make me laugh to tears. His voice is squeaky too. Judging by how he tops in a relationship with you, I'd think he'd atleast sound manlier than you.

But don't you agree, Ace? That his hair resembles a pineapple? I had a nightmare once where a couple suddenly got Marco's hair, and then I turned around only to see my friends having it too, but also his pedo looking eyes, and when I turned back everyone was staring at me with it! And so I woke up... I'm sure I died at that moment.

By the way, how was your birthday?! Did people yell "Happy birthday" to you as it turned midnight or did people just celebrate the new years? also how was christmas? Did a mistletoe creep up to you once or twice with a certain people?

Something less crazy and perverted... Have you seen fanarts of people drawing you as a girl? You should look it up! You'll find her by searching "Portgas D. Anne" or "Ann", the name that your mother wanted to call you were you to be born a girl. What do you think of your female counterpart?

Oh, and I just want to add how hot but also how cute you are!

Did that make you blush? Ahaha.

From a crazy Ace fangirl I regret nothing.

Hello there. After reading this, should I feel petrified or disturbed I'm not quite sure. I guess we all can't help with what we were named – I mean Ace isn't particularly original but I like it.

I haven't read any M rated fanfiction! Except for the occasional excerpts that Marco stuffs in my face just to torture my eyes. What is a tsundere?

"It's supposedly cute for a guy to be hostile and cold towards everyone, but softens up gradually, usually because he meets the girl he likes." Marco defined. "But for your case, it's Luffy so all this while you've been giving the wrong impression that you like Luffy in that way."

Ace buried his face in his hands. "Give me a break…"

I see my naked body whenever I shower, thank you very much. And I'm not giving you anymore ideas on where to draw my, umm, body.

And seriously, I'm not a fire-breathing dragon. I don't, quote "spew" fire, and I've probably burnt everyone on the ship at least once.

"51.5 degrees celcius." Marco thanked the nurse, who held the thermometer stuffed into Ace's mouth.

Sorry, not gonna disclose my sexual encounters.

"It's not like you have any." Marco smirked, avoiding a broken chair thrown at him.

What do you mean by 'top' in a relationship and I'm definitely a thousand times for manly than him. Who the hell can look manly in a pineapple haircut?

"Watch it, fire boy. She means that when they imagine us sexually, I'm the dominant one and –"

Ace raised his hands in defeat. "Do me a favour Marco. Spare me the details."

You have rather interesting dreams…

On the day of my birthday Oyaji got drunk and thought it was Christmas so… everyone got presents… Which was good because it is better than thinking it was his own birthday. Trust me, it'd happened before. Marco dosed water on me at 12 midnight because I fell asleep and they set my bed on fire. Brilliant bunch of bastards, all of them.

I know what you're thinking – mistletoe situations with… Marco… or someone… No every time I saw one I burnt it – Vista was wondering where they all went because he was attempting to woo all the nurses.

"SO it was you!" Vista said in a rage, because he couldn't get any opportunities under the mistletoe that night. Ace shrugged.

"I did the ladies a big favour, you know?"

I've had enough of gender-changing fanfictions and fanart, thank you very much.

I'm sexy and I know it. No.

I didn't know I had crazy fan girls.

"I find it hard to believe as well." Marco commented honestly.

#3 nameless

Ok. I have three question. One for you one, for Mr pineapple head and one for the old man . First ace. What was your old crew like ? I've heard they were very loyal. Mr pineapple what's you opinion of the other yonko, especially shanks. And last why do they call you whitebeard old man? You don't have a beard but a smiley shaped mustache, wouldn't whitestache be a more appropriate name for you? Sorry if the last question is annoying and noisy but I had to know. Respect for the whitebeard pirates.

PS: I hope Mr pineapple enjoys the basket of pineapples I'm sending him this moment.

My old crew?

They're actually still in the crew, just that I'm not the top captain anymore. Oyaji asked them to join after I, well kinda tried killing him fifty over times... just to convince me... They were, and still are my nakama, that's all I'm going to say.

"Aww Ace has a soft side." Marco chuckled, as Ace hushed him out of embarrassment.

"WE LOVE YOU CAPTAIN!" His old crew members somehow gathered within minutes to shout through his window.

"Why aren't you calling me Oyaji?" Whitebeard asked, mistook their shouts to be directed towards him.

"WE LOVE YOU OYAJI!"

Marco - I don't have much of an opinion, to be honest. Most of them are ruthless, not that I'm saying we're soft-hearted fluffy pirates, but they're not a family. If you're not family, you don't care about each other as much. Shanks is another species on the other hand, I can see he does treasure his nakama. Though his partying tenancies are worse than Ace's and that's saying something...

"LET'S PARTY!"

"Bunch of idiots..." Marco muttered, as the rest of them never quite understood why he didn't party as much as them.

"Oh stop being an old man." Thatch stuck out his tongue, earning a steely glare from his blonde friend, followed by a 'I'M NOT OLD' response.

Whitebeard's old. So he's old man.

Whitebeard - How the hell do you use this thing? It's a BEARD! A BEARD! END OF QUESTION.

"Hooray. Pineapples." Marco tossed them towards Thatch, who rolled over in laughter.

"I'm going to name him Marco!" Ace grabbed one of the pineapples from the basket, patting it happily.

#4 Shankie

I don't feel like logging in anymore... Luffy's been trying to steal my laptop for several days that right now, I'm at the hold. It sucks.

Luffy invited me to his crew because I gave him an interesting information about... *cough*whales*cough*salty*cough*seawater*

Screw that!

For some reason, my instincts are telling me that you're talking about you being old? Don't worry, 'era' isn't a term being used for distinction of ages. It's just what I call periods. Like... I became a pirate after Gol D. Roger brought the awesome pirate era! He's so freakin' awesome.

It's not easy to become blood related to someone huge, I'll agree to that. ._. I'm the granddaughter of a previous presi- king? leader? ... I'll go with president- Who became corrupted because of his wife. Too bad, he was such a nice, kind, and very smart man.

Atleast Roger's better. 3

Wahahahaha! What you say is true Ace! I mean... Ace-san. A man with abs and muscles is definitely the ideal one! And Luffy has muscles and abs. Believe me or not. His neck has gotten thicker too! Not too thick at least.

I could tell you prefer being shirtless, don't you Ace-san? Is your hat fireproof by the way?

I heard Sabo had a girlfriend already. He's practically assuming you're really gay. Specially when he realized that Luffy's special to you.

Luffy told me lots of things about you too. Like when you tripped on a stone and landed on tiger... crap.

Oh... and Luffy wants to finally talk to you. He caught me, and there's a sword by my neck so I can't do anything.

Hey! Ace! I miss you! Do you know who my new crewmate is!? Her name is Shanky! Just like Shanks! Actually I just called her that, but who cares. Hey Ace! Can we meet? Can we meet?

Times up for him. Oh hey! Whether you don't believe me or not, Makino has a kid, and I don't know whose but I'm assuming it's my pal's, Shanks! XD

Does your laptop contain food pictures? Because you know… Luffy might have mistaken it as food and stole it… as far as I know Luffy would only steal food…

Interesting… whales…

Please don't talk about Roger… Of course there's no particular reason besides bestowing upon me his name. Whitebeard's my only father.

It is not easy, but at least you're a president's daughter. I'm the son of a pirate king, how good can that be anyway?

Luffy with muscle and abs? Hah, that guy still can't beat me in arm wrestling I bet. That scrawny brat.

Well I burn my clothes. I have to keep pants on because well YOU know why… and my hat IS fireproof, or it'd have burnt to crisp now.

I don't give a damn if Sabo has a girlfriend! I'M. NOT. GAY. Will you all please stop pestering me with the gay question… because it's called affection… for Luffy… Oh come on, Sabo must have been drunk.

Luffy's lying. I don't get into embarrassing situations like him because I'm the cool older brother.

"Brotherly complex." Marco said off-handedly.

"Don't be an extra!"

My gawd Luffy your new crew member… why did you recruit her again? Ah, who cares. And no, we can't meet unless you tell me your location. I suppose the World Government hates you too now, you've always been the cause of all trouble (I wonder whether that's a good thing).

Shanks? Makino?! They have a WHAT?! Isn't Shanks like at the New World what is happening did he kidnap Makino that idiot…

"Is she your old crush?" Marco smiled mysteriously.

"No!"

"I sense a love triangle…"

"I'LL BURN YOU!"

I'M BACK! After a month long or so of not posting anything I've finally overcame my mini writer's block (plus I had school stuff going on... which took up way too much time...) AND updated! So yay! 4 questions:D

Love you all and thank you for reviewing ~.~ I am eternally grateful. You have no idea how much I laugh at your reviews, you guys are so fun^^