I'm back! Okay, so now that I am back I must say three things. First of all, Pitch Perfect is AMAZING. As in really ridiculously amazing and awesome. Secondly, Jesse and Beca are officially one of my favorite ships of all time now. Ship name please? Lastly, what I will currently be writing are oneshots, some related, some not. If you guys urge me enough, maybe I'll write a multichap though.
Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect, the characters and Everywhere, Everything by This Century. Mwah!
"I follow her like satellites, around and 'round she goes. She's everywhere, she's everything."
-Everywhere Everything, This Century
There was so much about her that he loved and hated. All her little habits, all her little flaws, he could name every single one of them and still find her the perfect human being, the missing piece of his puzzle.
There were the things he hated about her. He hated the way she would push everyone who loved and cared about her away. He hated the way she could hurt him so easily, one word was a knife in the gut. He hated the way she could be so stubborn and how sometimes she just couldn't tell that she was wrong and he was right.
Then there are the many things he loved about her. He loved the way she smiled around him. He loved the way she got this look on her face whenever she was making a mix. He loved the way she never let anyone or anything bring her down. He loved the fact that she was the only person she trusted with everything. And most of all, he loved her.
But of course, like every wonderful couple, they had those fights, those fights that should be small, but are blown totally out of proportion. It was always her that would start the fights. She just couldn't help it. It was just her nature.
She was in the radio station, stacking up CDs again. By the way she was stacking, he could very well tell she was angry about something. The station was filled with nothing but music yet no one needed to say a thing to figure it out. Something was wrong.
After at least fifteen minutes of silence, he gave up and walked up to her as she massaged her temples. "Bec, what's wrong?"
She didn't reply and just stacked the CDs into a neat pile in front of her. He let out a heavy sigh. He wasn't about to give up on her that easily. That was definitely not who he was, especially when it came to her.
"Beca, what's wrong?" He asked again, earning a look from her. It wasn't a glare nor was it a lovesick stare. It was just a blank look but he could see it in her eyes. There was something wrong and she wasn't planning to give it up.
"Nothing's wrong." She said, voice much too hollow to be her own. She knew that he knew better, but what was she to do?
"You tell me everything." He said, taking the CDs from her hands, gently prying her fingers away. She let him. "Why won't you tell me this time? You know that it won't matter to me."
"Nothing's wrong!" She snapped, ready to break. He cringed at her tone. She was pissed and he didn't know why. "Jesse, just leave me alone. I don't' need your help."
"Beca, we've been over this at least a million times." He said, running a hand through his hair. "You can tell me anything. I want to help you, that's all I've ever really wanted to do."
She laughed with no humour. "And why would you?" She asked him, her voice itself a question he could not answer. "You don't care Jesse, no one ever has. So what's the point in asking me what's wrong and telling me you'll help when in the end, it's not really going to matter?"
"You seriously think I don't care about you?" He said. He could feel his heart break. After all they had been through, after the month they'd spent together as more than friends, she could still think this. It just couldn't be, at least to him.
She looked down at her hands, tears that formed in her eyes ready to spill over. "I don't." She said, voice so soft that it was barely even a whisper.
It was quiet, only the music blaring over the speakers could be heard. They were both breaking and it was about time someone gave up, about time for someone to just walk away already and say, "Fuck it, this is too much for me now."
"I'm sorry," She said, her voice still soft. "But I can't do this anymore."
And just like that, she was out the door, a ghost he could not catch.
There was a knock on the door while she was watching Roman Holiday in her bedroom, one of the many movies he'd recommended. She just couldn't seem to let it go. Despite everything that she'd said, despite everything she felt, despite her brain telling her to stop it, she just couldn't let it go.
"Who is it?" She called out. It couldn't be Kimmy Jin, she wouldn't be back for another two hours. She half wished it was Jesse, coming to talk to her. She knew she was a fool for even thinking it.
"It's me!" She heard the familiar accent come from outside. Her heart ached when she heard the voice, just knowing it wasn't him coming to check in on her the way he always did was too much for her.
"Come in!" She called, wiping a couple of tears off of her face, the same way she had when she'd watched The Breakfast Club. This time, it just hurt a little bit more. Okay, maybe a lot more.
The door opened and Amy and Stacie peeked into the room. When they saw that she was alone, they came in, all cheery and happy and bubbly. Beca wished so badly that she could be like them, so carefree.
"Hey, we brought lunch." Stacie said, holding up a bag of Chinese food. Beca pasted a smile on her face, but it faded quickly, too much on her mind and her heart too heavy to keep up an act like that.
Stacie looked at Amy with a confused look on her face, but Amy just shook her head almost imperceptibly. They had to try cheering her up before anything. They needed her thoughts to become coherent first.
In fifteen minutes, all three of them were sitting on the floor, noodles, fried rice and fortune cookies laid out in front of them. Beca ate in silence while Amy and Stacie chatted away. They kept trying to involve her, but after a few words, she'd always return to her food and her thoughts.
She grabbed a fortune cookie and cracked it right open, hoping it would open her eyes to just how much her life sucked. She took out the small paper and read quietly, "Love is soon to come your way." She huffed. "As if." She muttered.
"What was that?" Amy said and Beca just shook her head. "Bad fortune? Worm in your noodles? It could be just about anything. This is Chinese food after all."
When Beca said nothing, Stacie groaned, just about ready to give up. "For Christ's sakes Beca, we know you and Jesse fought or broke up or whatever! We're just here to make you feel better, okay?"
Beca stared at them as Amy shoveled fried rice in her mouth, her eyes still watching her despite that. "How do you know about that?" She said rather quietly.
Stacie let out a sigh, deciding it was best if she would do all the talking. Amy was busy eating after all. "We passed Jesse on our way out of the auditorium. He looked angry, furious even. It was weird seeing him like that."
"Yeah, who knew a nerd could get so angry?" Amy said after swallowing. "But then again, you have seen him in more compromising positions so what am I supposed to say about that?" She said with a wink that made Beca blush.
Beca's heart ached even more just thinking about it. Yes, she had seen him in plenty of compromising positions and most of the time, she had joined him. Thinking it was highly possible it wouldn never happen again felt like being stabbed.
"Anyway," Stacie continued. "We tried asking him what the hell was wrong. He just kept muttering your name like he belonged in the mental ward. We figured you guys fought so we bought take out and rushed over here to take care of the damage."
Beca processed all of it or tried at the very least. She looked down again, stabbing her noddles with her chopsticks. "We had a fight and I think I broke up with him. I'm not exactly sure. I think you could consider it a break up except for the fact we weren't really going out."
Stacie laughed. "Not dating? Are you kidding?" She said, putting a hand on her chest. "Whenever you see him, you eyefuck him. Whenever you hear him sing, you look like me after an impossibly good night. You don't really need to be dating."
This made Beca miss him more and she pinched the bridge of her nose. "I appreciate you guys coming here to make me feel better, but you can't really cheer me up, not this time." She said, looking at them.
Amy sighed. "We know we can't really help, but we just wanted to calm you down." She said. "You do miss him don't you?"
Beca's heart and mind screamed, "Oh God, I miss him more than anything and it's only been a couple of hours." But the only word to escape her mouth was yes.
"Then go get your man before it's too late for you to take him back!" Amy yelled and Stacie cheered. Beca couldn't help the laugh that escaped her mouth. She got up and grabbed her jacket, feeling lucky to have such great friends.
She turned and smiled at them before she was out the door. "Hey guys?" She said and they looked at her expectantly. "Thanks."
She found him in no time. He was still in the auditorium, sitting at the edge of the stage. She came from the back, but he knew there was someone there. He could hear the footsteps echoing, but he didn't bother to check who it was. He thought it wouldn't be her.
"Lovely place to hide out." She said and he tensed, recognizing her voice right away. He didn't turn around and just kept looking forward. "Predictable but private. I like it."
"What are you doing here?" He said, voice completely cringeworthy. She didn't do anything, she just kept walking towards him slowly. "I thought you couldn't take me anymore."
"Well," She said, sitting beside him, her shoulder touching his. He didn't say anything and looked on. "It turns out I can't really hold everything in, not for long at the very least."
"Then why don't you just tell me already?" He snapped, looking at her at last. She tried to read his eyes, but there were so many emotions. Anger, sadness, hope. She imagined what it must be like for him. She couldn't.
Silence filled the auditorium once more and they both looked on, shoulders bumping each other. It was comforting to them, the way that they could feel that way, but they could still settle into those little routines and practices of theirs.
"My stepmother's pregnant." She said.
He looked at her, an incredelous look on her face. "What did you say?" He asked her, trying to see if he had heard her correctly.
"My stepmother's pregnant." She repeated in a louder and clearer voice. "That's why I'm angry, okay? That's why you can't help. Unless, you know, you can convince her to abort or something. Not that I want you to."
He shook his head, that puzzled and incredelous look still on his face. "Okay, your stepmother's pregnant. Why are you so angry about this?" He asked her. It didn't make sense to him. She should be happy, not sad and angry about everything.
"I don't want to be part of that baby's life." She confided in him. "I am not going to be it's sister. I'm not going to be part of a family I don't belong in no matter what. Not even if my father asks me to. No, just no."
He shook his head and smiled a bit. He took her hand in his and laced their fingers. "Beca, your father loves you, you know that right?" He said and she just kept quiet. "If he wants you to be that child's sister, then he thinks you'll be as great a sister to it as we both think you'll be."
"I don't belong in that family Jesse." She said, trying to focus on the way he drew circles on her hand with his thumb. It was so comforting. "My dad left me with my mother and we fended for ourselves. He can't just ask me to be some child's sister."
"This isn't about the kid Beca, this is about you and your dad." He said and she sighed. "Your dad loves you and he wants you to be the kid's sister. He's just trying to show you how much he loves you by letting him into that family, so let him."
She looked at him, eyes brimming with tears. Some rogue tears spilled out and he smiled at her. He wiped them away with his thumb. "I'm sorry that I said everything I said. I didn't mean anything. I know you care about me and that's all that matters." She told him and he planted a kiss on her forehead. "You're not angry anymore, are you?"
His smile grew even wider. "I love you." The words escaped his mouth and she gasped a little bit. "Angry or not, that's not going to change. There's nothing you can ever do to change how I feel about you Beca."
He knew she wasn't ready to say it back, maybe she never would be, but it was enough for him. He kissed her before she could say another word. And when she kissed him back and wrapped her arms around him, maybe, just maybe, it was enough to say I love you too.
Okay, I'm sorry if it's a little OOC, but I kind of wanted to capture what they'd be like in a different situation. I think it worked. Well, that's that. I'll post a new one soon, maybe later or tomorrow. I hope you guys liked it. Please review, it would mean the world to me.