AN: I am sorry I could not resist.

I Am Your Father

That was it. That was the final straw. Naruto was standing before the Kyuubi being coaxed into breaking the seal that was keeping said beast imprisoned inside Naruto's body. Normally Naruto would be witty with the Kyuubi but not this time. This time he was ready to break the seal. After all he was mad as hell at this Pain. Pain was the man that killed his sensei and father figure Jiraya, his teacher Kakashi, and destroyed Konoha. However the straw that broke the camel's back was when Pain killed Hinata right in front of Naruto. Naruto wanted to unleash his full power on this man, no, this monster who had hurt so many people. As Naruto started to strip away the piece of paper that was sealing the all powerful Kyuubi, a hand reached out grabbing him on the shoulder and stopping him.

Naruto spun around and spotted a tall man with bright blue eyes and spiky yellow hair. "Who are you supposed to be and how the hell did you get in here?" Naruto demanded of the stranger.

"My name is Minato. Fourth Hokage and I am also your father."

Naruto stood and stared at the man for several seconds before finally speaking. "Hmm… I don't see it."

Minato's face hit the floor. He then stood up in a comical fashion. "What do you mean you don't see it? Of course I am your father. How many yellow haired blue eyed ninjas do you know?" Naruto continued to stare intently at Minato. "Oh god, my son's an idiot." Minato cried. Then an idea popped into Minato's head. Sure it wasn't the best plan, but Kyuubi was a part of Naruto maybe Naruto would believe him if the Kyuubi told him that he was in fact Naruto's father. "Hey Kyuubi, I know you're mad at me for locking you away but, could you please tell Naruto that I am his father?"

Kyuubi started at Minato and Naruto for a long time. Was the Kyuubi not going to help Minato out? Then he spoke. "You're Naruto's father? I don't see it."

Minato could not believe it. If Kyuubi was trying to get revenge on him for locking him up Minato would understand. The thing was though that Kyuubi was being quite sincere with his statement. He honestly did not see Minato as Naruto's father. "Oh, come on. How could you not see it?" Minato cried as he stood right next to Naruto. "Look, he has blue eyes. I have blue eyes. He has spiky yellow hair. I have spiky yellow hair. How can you not tell that we are father and son!?" The Kyuubi stood silent. "What?"

"You asshole, I thought you knew me better." Kyuubi started crying.

"What? What did I say?" Minato asked with both confusion and alarm.

"You just reminded me that I'm colorblind you big meanie!" At this point Kyuubi was bawling. "Nartuo, I don't even want to come out any more. That man, has made me so distraught."

Minato could not believe it. He had made the most powerful and feared of the tailed beasts cry. "Sheesh Kyuubi you're more emotional than a pregnant woman."

"Oh so now you're saying I'm fat!" Kyuubi cried.

"No, I'm just saying you're really emotional…" Minato threw his hands up. What was he doing arguing with the Kyuubi? He needed to find a way to convince Naruto that he was in fact his father.

Naruto finally spoke. "Gee I've never seen Kyuubi cry before." He then looked to Minato and glared. "You really are an asshole. I'm glad I'm not related to you."

"But I am your father, you idiot!" Minato shouted in frustration. Minato started to pace around, he was running out of time and he still had not talked to Naruto about the importance of one's self strength. However Naruto not believing that he was his father was ticking Minato off. Minato sighed; there was one person in Konaha that could help. "Naruto, ask Kakashi. He knows that I'm your father."

Naruto started to cry. "Kakashi is dead you insensitive bastard!"

Minato started stammering. "Hey I didn't… Oh come on how was I supposed to…" As Minato struggled to find the right words to say a woman with fiery red hair and a personality that was even fierier burst in. "Kushina, what are you doing here!?"

Kushina walked up to Minato and punched him hard in the face. "How dare you make my baby angel cry?"

Naruto started wiping tear from his face and then immediately ran up to Kushina and hugged her. "Mom, it's so good to see you."

Minato's jaw hit the floor. "Oh sure you believe that Kushina is your mother but you don't believe that I'm your father? What is it with you?"

Kushina glared at Minato. "Don't you talk to my baby angel like that. As his mother I have a very special bond with him."

Minato was getting frustrated, then another idea popped in his head. "Hey Kushina, since you're here and Naruto believes that you are his mother, could you tell him that I am his father."

Kushina stared at Minato then spoke. "I'm sorry do I know you?"

Minato facepalmed, "oh come on Kushina, are you still mad at me?"

"Yes, you left me to do the dishes when I was 8 months pregnant!" Kushina screamed.

"You made her do the dishes when she was that far into her pregnancy? Man, no wonder I was able to break free so easily." Kyuubi pointed out.

Kushina turned and looked at the Kyuubi. "Kyuubi it's so good to see you." She elated.

Kyuubi grinned. "Kushina seeing you raging mad at Minato has made me so happy again."

Naruto smiled. "Glad to see that you're feeling better Kyuubi."

Minato could not believe what he was seeing or hearing. "Kushina I had to leave as Hokage I had to personally go see the Kazekage to ensure that the alliance between our villages stayed strong and stable." Minato explained.

Kushina rolled her eyes. "Oh sure you were the Hokage and all of a sudden you think you can do whatever you want!"

"Mom, you don't have to talk to that asshole." Naruto comforted.

"That's right Kushina, you don't have to say anything more to that man." Kyuubi huffed.

Minato was about to give up. There was no way these people were going to listen to him. Then he got an idea. "Kushina, why don't you tell Naruto who his father is?" After Minato spoke that line dramatic music started to play and a figure in a black cape and apparently some sort of breathing problem came out of the shadows.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked.

"Naruto," the man breathed. "I am your father." Minato had to stop himself from laughing there was no way that…

"Daddy!" Naruto yelled as he raced over to the man and hugged him.

"Oh come on!" Minato yelled in bitter frustration. "He's not even supposed to be in this universe. Kushina I know you're mad at me but, please tell OUR son that Darth Vader is not his father."

Instead of doing what Minato told her she instead walked up to Darth Vader and hugged him. "Honey, I am so happy that you're here."

As Naruto, Kushina, and Darth Vader hugged each other Kyuubi wiped a single tear from his eye. "I just love these family gatherings."

Minato noticed that his fingers were starting to disappear. His time was officially up. "Oh, I give up." Minato lamented in a very squidward-like fashion as he disappeared into oblivion.