Hey Guys! I hope you all had a wonderful Holiday and all that. This is my first Fic and hopefully the start of many.

I DO NOT OWN SCANDAL IN ANY CAPACITY

Christmas day had come and gone and it was now almost midnight. December 26th. She had hoped she would see him today. Christmas was her favorite holiday, her favorite day of the year and she needed him. She knew it would be hard for him. He had his duties to his family and he had other obligations but it was lonely. Although she enjoyed her time spent with her family and friends, she couldn't help but miss him.

He said he would try to come. They hadn't seen each other in almost four months and she had so much to say. The last time they saw each other was not the best and they had gotten into a heated argument about their situation. Liv decided it would be best to walk away completely. No phone calls and no going to the white house unless deemed necessary.

Things were smooth and no one had faltered. They didn't speak or see each other for three and a half months but she had something to tell him. She needed to tell him this because he deserved to know even though they were done. She called Cy and told him she needed a secure line for ten minutes. He was reluctant but hearing the desperation in her voice he finally conceded and set up their convo for later that day. When he called she almost didn't answer but she knew she had to.

"Hi." She said when she answered the phone.

"Hi, Olivia. What do you need?" his voice was void of emotion and he was short but he had every right to be. She took a deep breath and continued.

"I need to see you. I need to tell you something and I cannot tell you over the phone. I know we're done and I know you're busy but this needs to happen. So please just say yes. I'll be out of town for a week and I know you're going to Santa Barbra the week before Christmas so can we meet after the holiday?" She could feel the tension through the phone. He wasn't happy but he knew she wouldn't do this to him without good reason.

"Fine. Christmas day is the only day I can possibly get away. I know you'll be with your family and friends all day but I should have some free time after 9 that night. I'll call you that day to confirm , if that's okay with you?"

Her heart sank at the lack of emotion in his voice. He wasn't doing this because he wanted to but as a favor. He wanted whatever she had to say to be done and over with so he could try to forget again. To try and forget that the love of his life wasn't willing to fight for them. She knew that because she'd been trying to do the same. Trying to move on but she couldn't. He was her everything and she couldn't forget that.

"That's fine. I'll be home by then so that's fine. "

The line went dead.

Sitting on the couch wrapped up in her blanket Liv took a quick look at her watch and saw that it was 11:30. "He's not coming." She said to herself slightly defeated. She knew it was a possibility and he didn't call to confirm or reschedule their meeting so she was at a loss. She missed him deeply and wanted to call him. She wanted to tell him to come to her now because she needed him and couldn't live without him. She wanted so badly to have a life with him but her mind wouldn't let her. She didn't call him to see if he was still coming because her mind told her it was wrong and he didn't want her anymore so he wasn't going to drop everything for her anymore.

With a small sigh she picked up the remote and turned on the tv. She flipped through the news channels but decided she needed something lighter. Turning to TCM she found that her favorite movie, Meet me In St. Louis, was on and her favorite part was about to start. It was Christmas time in the movie and the youngest sister was up waiting for Santa Clause to come but her sister finds her and tries to lull her back to a sleepy state of mind by singing to her. Liv loved the song she was singing and this part of the movie always brought a tear to her eye.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.

Let your heart be light.

Next year all our troubles

Will be out of sight.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.

Make the Yule-tide gay.

From now on our troubles

Will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,

Happy golden days of yore.

Faithful friends who are dear to us

Will be near to us once more.

Someday soon we all will be together

If the Fates allow.

Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow.

So have yourself a merry little Christmas now

As the song finished, the silent tears that began to fall turned into body convulsing sobs. Hyperventilating and burying her face into her blanket, she sobbed for her loss. She had lost the love of her life and it was her fault. He wasn't here with her because she pushed him away too many times. She was the reason for her was alone on this Christmas night. The sobs wracked her body and she began to feel lightheaded. Her breaths were short and strained, she was beginning to fall completely apart. She needed to stop. She needed to regain her ability to breathe. Her body needed oxygen of else she would hurt herself and she couldn't do that. She needed to calm herself down. In an almost desperate plea to herself she tried to talk herself into a state of calm. "Breathe, Liv. You need to breathe." She told herself calmly. Taking the deepest breathes she could at that moment, she tried to slow her breathing. When her efforts started to take effect she felt a slight pain in her abdomen. With a slight smile she placed her hand on her swollen belly and continued to try and breathe. "Come on, Liv. Your baby needs oxygen. She needs you to provide for her and protect her. This is not helping. Breathe!" She mentally yelled at herself. Taking deeper breaths she slowly started to regulate her breathing and her heart rate slowly went back down.

Finally gaining some sense of composure, she wiped the remains of the tears that stained her cheeks away and shook her head in disbelief. She couldn't believe how emotional she'd gotten since she found out she was pregnant. Looking down at her baby bump Liv sighed knowing that Fitz didn't know about their daughter. She was due in less than five months and he didn't know.

With a heavy sigh she slowly got up from the couch. Turning off the tv and grabbing her blanket she slowly made her way to her bedroom. Padding lightly across the floor, she turned off the lamp on the side table and made her way to her room. Just as she was about to sit on her bed there was a knock at her front door.