A/N: I blame the plot bunnies. It's all their fault!

I already have a giant mound of work to do (Grade Projects, writing The Dragon's Boy, etc.), but while I'm trying to write for The Dragon's Boy, I have a fanfic idea that I just had to go through with. On the spot. At 0:52 (12:52 in the morning). I made up the addresses at an equally ungodly hour so they probably make no sense. At all. I'm so sorry if I messed up with the UK address. I've never wrote anything addressed to the UK in my life, so I just used the internet, even though it tends to lie about important things like how to write an address.

Arthur Kirkland

728 Far Shire Road

WELLINGTON

TA21 9HP

UNITED KINGDOM

Dear Arthur,

Apparently our schools have put together some pen-pal program thingy, and guess what? You get to be my pen-pal! :D How awesome is that?! I hope I got your address right, because seriously? You guys have some weird addressing system or something. . I swear it took me like, ten times just to get it all right. Anyways, a bunch of my friends are half-assing the project, because "whats the use of knowing someone if their an entire ocean away?" I have to agree with them on that one, but I'll still try it if you will. It'd be nice to talk to someone who isn't like "oh your that guy" or "dude, effing shut up". Ok, we got like, 5 more minutes before I gtg catch the bus, and I don't even have this printed, so I'm cutting this one short.

From,

Alfred F. Jones

PS: hey how do you guys deal with the suckish food over there? I had British food once and it seriously tasted like shit! XP

Alfred F. Jones

1453 N. Covered Wagon Rd.

Forkford, IA 8549

United States of America

Dear Alfred,

It is nice that schools like ours are making their students more aware by creating a pen-pal program between two nations. It is a great opportunity to expand one's knowledge of life in another country, without having to actually fly to said country.

I, however, would like to remind you of several things when writing a letter:

First of all, American postage codes and addressing form makes even less sense than the United Kingdom's. In all respects, it's just difficult because you've never used it before. If you had grown up here, you would have agreed with me that American lettering makes absolutely no bloody sense.

Second, I would like to remind you that there is such a thing as correct grammar, you prat. There were so many grammatical and spelling errors in that letter; I won't even begin to list them. Not to mention it's all together poorly structured creation.

This brings me to another point I would like to make. This is indeed the post, not some email or text; do refrain from the use of smileys. It's so unprofessional and childish. Really, we're both about 14 years old and in Secondary school; belt up.

In response to what you actually wrote:

No one is taking this seriously over here either. It seems that it doesn't matter where they are from, teenagers will still be lazy and unproductive. If we're going to be "the future of this world", then we need to work on this generation's laziness. There is so much unproductivity—largely because of distractions like internet and texting mind you—that someone ought to do something about this before it gets too out of hand.

Unlike you, I am actually writing this the night it was assigned, and not the next morning, so I have plenty of time to revise and finalise this letter before it is sent off. Try writing things when assigned next time. (I would also like to point back to the previous paragraph about laziness)

From,

Arthur Kirkland

PS: Bloody git! I will have you know, British food tastes perfectly fine! You must have just had a terrible chef make it. Probably some French idiot who didn't know what he was doing.

A/N: I'm thinking of two letters for every chapter. That is, unless if the letters start getting absurdly long. Then it might be one per chapter, but for now I'm sticking with two. This is also the first time I've written for Arthur/England, so if you guys could please tell me if I did it right, or if I screwed up.

If I do indeed continue this, it won't in any way be "normal" updates. I'll just be updating it whenever I feel like writing a letter, or have writer's block. I'll go back to trying to write The Dragon's Boy now... hopefully there will be no more distractions...

By the way, this was all written at about 2:30ish, so if something isn't making sense, or seems strange, its probably because of that. Or its because Alfred refuses to use proper grammar/spelling.