A/N: For those of you who are getting out of school right about now, happy summer break! Yesterday was my last day, and it seems like all I've been doing since my last final (Maths, ugh) is writing! This weekend is going to be filled with updates from me. I'm already 3/4 of the way done with the next chapter to Missing Senses, if any of you read it. And I'm coming up to the ending for a new two-shot. It's been really exciting, and I'm so glad that I don't have any more homework or tests for a while. Anyway, without further ado, the next letters:
((For some reason the line break here won't work, so just pretend this is one of those magical lines that goes across the page to signal a scene change~))
Arthur Kirkland
728 Far Shire Road
WELLINGTON
TA21 9HP
UNITED KINGDOM
Dear Gentleman,
Ok, I'm going to nip this one in the bud (I feel like some old guy typing that .) before you start freaking out. I know I kinda tease you, and I'm not the best with grammar and stuffs, but I like getting these letters every once and a while, so I'm not going to stop sending them if you don't! :I Got it?
Wait a second. You actually did it! You didn't correct my spelling or grammar once! I'm so proud of you Artie. You're being less of an old man, congrats! :D
Christmas couldn't have been that bad, even if it didn't snow. You got what you wanted and a cat too! How is Crumpet, by the way? Is he declawed, or do you have a scratching post? Aren't animals awesome? I prefer dogs though. Yes, I'm talking about you Carmel. (She's sitting on the floor wagging here tail X3) You seem like more of a cat person though, so I'm gonna guess that Crumpet is well loved and taken care of.
I'm going to pretended that I'm interested in reading and such for about five seconds. What books did you get? Did you like them? How many pages were they?
I watch a lot of TV, but I've never heard of this "Doctor Who" you speak of. Probably because it's British. I didn't even know you guys made your own shows besides crappy soap operas. I forbid any more Hollywood dissing. Absolutely forbid it. Clearly you've never seen the wonders of American TV! When I go to England and kidnap you, I'm going to take you on a tour around the states. I've always wanted to go on one of those summer road trips you see in the movies. They look like a lot of fun. We could drag Mattie along too! :D
You were talking about me going to some big party, but actually, I stayed home with Mattie, Kuma, and Carmel to watch the ball drop at midnight. Last year we missed it because I forgot about the stupid time zones again. . Why can't we all have midnight at midnight? That would make things so much easier!
Kuma and Carmel are getting along great. Kuma keeps stealing my pancakes from me when I'm not looking though :I Yesterday I gave Carmel a hamburger, and she loves them! Mom keeps telling me not to feed her human food though, but whatever. I couldn't sit there eating and have her miss out, you know?
I'm adding to my list of things to make Arthur (you) do one day: stay up playing videogames.
Australia's a big place, but I'll ask them the next time they write or call if they know your cousin.
. Winter break might be long enough for you, but it's way too short to do anything good! Summmmer~ Why must you be so far away?
Dude, you're right. These letters used to be only a page long, but now I have actually sit here typing for a while. They only come about once a month though, so there's a lot to say.
I thought you said that you weren't going to bug me about my grammar! Liar! (I'll give it to you that gonna is underlined in red, but that doesn't mean that I can't use it. XP) Just for that I'm gonna use gonna as much as I can from here on out.
Artie, I don't know who you imagine me as, but seriously, no one wants to hang out with the strange kid that has a hero complex . I'm sure that you could pay the plane ticket over if you saved up enough.
Hey, some of us don't have a dictionary for a brain! I bet most people don't know the meaning of cumbersome. It's such a strange word to begin with…
What are you going on about? I thought tea was just tea… It's all the same, right? Just different brands or something? Because no matter who makes it, tea is gonna suck. Coffee on the other hand, is amazing and I'm thinking about starting a coffee club at school next year... Hey, Artie? How do you make tea?
I do not need a world atlas (whatever that is)! Wait I just thought of something... So tell me if I'm right here, the "United Kingdom" is England, Great Britain, Wales, Scotland, and Ireland. Right?
Victorian Era. That sounds so familiar. Is, is that like Steampunk, kind of? . Ugh, that's killing me. You better reply fast! :I
Hero does not make me sound like a kid! Come on Artie! Heroes are always those cool college people. Unless if it's Teen Titans. Then all of the rules change, because Robin is awesome and he can get away with it.
Haven't read the correct book. Artie, I've tried reading several books, and I never got past the first frickin' page. I'm going to say this slowly for you, mka? Books. Are. Boring. Did you get that? I guess I can humor you some day and walk into a book store with you, though.
Arthur, I could, under no circumstances of any kind, live without my weekly dose of Mattie's awesome pancakes and syrup breakfasts. That is cold hard fact, and it's the same for anyone else that eats his homemade batter-and-chocolaty goodness.
Um, so I probably should have typed this at the start of the letter, but I almost didn't write it at all. Ok, serious mode. Sorry this was so late (Like a week later than usual). I uh, well we never really talk about our days, or how our life is going, so it never exactly came up, but my parents... they're kind of having an all-out war these days. Mattie hasn't been handling it all that well, so um, well I'm kind of trying to take care of him a bit and make sure he's alright. What can I say? Hero complex. Then its second semester, so school is getting harder, and I haven't had a whole lot of time to sit down and actually write anything worth typing.
Wow... That was like, an actual paragraph! ;D You should totally be proud of me, Artie.
So, yea. My letters are gonna be a bit more, um, unscheduled? . I mean they'll still come, but not right away like usual.
From,
The Hero
PS: Just for you, I'm gonna check out the first Harry Potter the next time our class goes to the library ;)
PPS: What's the first one called?
PPPS: Wait, it's something like Harry Potter and the Wizard's Gem right? :P
((The line break still isn't working~))
Alfred F. Jones
1453 N. Covered Wagon Rd.
Forkford, IA 8549
United States of America
Dear Alfred,
It's an amazing feat, but I think I'll be able to repeat the last letter and ignore your horrible spelling errors and those forever ridiculous smileys.
How about we agree to disagree on the appeal of the winter holidays, hmm?
Crumpet is well, and so am I. He's taken to curling up in the window on those rare sunny days to enjoy the warm sunlight. I can agree with you that most animals are "awesome" as you put it, but dogs aren't my favourite animal to have running around in my house and tracking in large amounts of mud. I am most definitely a cat person. Not saying that I'd be opposed to throwing a ball around with a Springer Spaniel or Labrador every once and a while.
Thank you for at least pretending you care about reading for five seconds. Though I doubt it took you any longer than three to type out that "paragraph". Anyway, one of the books I received for Christmas was Leviathan* by Scott Westerfeld (440 pages). I was sceptical at first, but it was a very good read and I can't wait to get the next two books. The other was Tiger's Curse* by Colleen Houck (403 pages) and is part of a series I'm reading called the Tiger Saga. I'm sure you've never had the thrill of finishing a book and wanting to start the next immediately, but it's taking all my might not to run down to the book store on Seventh Street and buy Tiger's Quest—the book after Tiger's Curse.
I should have seen this coming, but I'm truly shocked. You've never heard of Doctor Who? I swear you wouldn't last five seconds in England. Let me educate you on the brilliance of Doctor Who. I'll start with the Doctor. He's the main character of the show, and is an alien from the planet Gallifrey. He travels around in a time machine called the TARDIS and saves the Earth from other aliens—among other things. Whenever the Doctor comes close to dying his body "regenerates"; giving him a whole new appearance. Through this process the show has been able to stay on air since 1963 without having the main character constantly change.
The Doctor often brings various humans along on his journeys that are called "companions" and have the generally accepted job of being caught or getting into trouble. There is, of course, a lot more behind the show, but those are the basics for you. I suggest starting off with either season 2 or season 5 since both are at the start of a new regeneration and are two of my favourite Doctors.
Sometimes, I really am sorry for your brother, Alfred. He must be dragged into so many hair-brained schemes of yours that go wrong. I guess, I wouldn't particularly mind a little road trip some time. However, I doubt it would be as relaxing as I'm thinking with you along.
Alfred, first off, midnight is not exactly 00:00 (or 12:00am). It's the time when it is the middle of the night. Secondly, if midnight were to occur here when it occurs in Iowa, then all of England would be calling 5:00 in the morning midnight, which it obviously isn't. I am going to also point out that technically, midnight is always at midnight because the two are the same thing.
You probably shouldn't be feeding a dog human food because their stomachs don't digest it well. I doubt you'll listen to me though. At least no one needs worry that your pets are malnourished.
Dare I ask what idiotic things are on this "list of things to make Arthur do"?
Whining about it won't make your summer break come any sooner, git. If anything, it will make the season seem farther away.
Please, stop with the deliberate "gonna"s. It's giving me a headache already.
Really? You're a loner at school. I wouldn't have guessed it. I always, well; I thought you'd be one of those popular sports jocks... Looks like we're in the same boat.
Alfred, there are an infinite number of types of tea. I know you're American, but you don't know how to make tea?! In any case, the first step in making a cup of tea is to fill a tea kettle (a sauce pan will do) with water and put it on the stove. Wait until the water comes to a boil, then poor the water into a mug until it's a little over half-way full. Put in one of the tea bags and let it steep until the tea is a dark as you'd like it. To finish off, poor some milk in the mug and add a bit of sugar. Do not dump in an absurd amount of sugar as I know you're thinking of doing. That would ruin the tea.
That, my friend, is how you make a good cup of tea. Do tell me how you liked it, and before you reject them, try every kind I sent you. They will all taste different.
Don't you dare ever falsely say to an Irishman that Ireland is part of the United Kingdom, you bloody twat! I'd rather it if your next letter was not sent from a hospital room. Currently only Northern Ireland is part of the UK and not Ireland. They'd bloody well beat you to a pulp if you made that mistake. The full title of the UK is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Great Britain is the island that Scotland, England, and Wales are on. Therefore—though you are technically correct in that it's England, Scotland, Wales, and Great Britain—its bad form. You either say Great Britain and Northern Ireland, or England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland.
I'm surprised. You got that right, Alfred. Steampunk was indeed based off of Victorian London. I didn't know you were a fan of that genre. Now then, did waiting for my answer kill you yet? I hope not.
I am going to wisely choose to ignore the three sentences about superheroes and move on.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You simply haven't been reading the right books! If I could just get you to read Harry Potter for a start...
You wouldn't last a week without pancakes you say? One day I'll test that. You haven't had my cooking yet. Then you'll not even think twice about your brother's food.
The book you somehow don't know the title of is called Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, git; though in America it'll be titled Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Why they went and bloody changed the title is beyond me. Really? Didn't you at least see the movies?
I'm sorry about your parents. You're a good brother to stick up for Mattie like that... I don't think any of my siblings would do that for me. It would seem as if both of our families are having rough patches. If it's any consolation, my father died when I was nine. Right before my younger brother was born. With only mum and my two oldest brothers working petty jobs, we're a bit on the poor side of things. Unfortunately, neither yours, nor my family is doing all that well, it would seem.
From,
Arthur
PS: Thank you for sticking with these letters... They manage to make my day better whenever I receive one (despite the horrible grammar, spelling, and sentence structure).
PPS: Congratulations on the long paragraph. I, surprisingly, didn't find any major errors in your writing there. You're getting better.
((Lalala~ This is a line break~))
Author's Footnote:
[* I own both Leviathan and Tiger's Curse and would suggest them both to anyone that likes a mix of fantasy, romance, and on Leviathan's case, a steampunk WWI. Anyone who's read the Tiger Saga knows that it's a romance about an Indian Prince and a college student from Oregon, so of course Arthur would have loved it.]
((Don't mind me here, just another line break~))
A/N: First off, Arthur mentioned that his brothers wouldn't be there for him if something happened, but that's just his point of view. They very well might stick up for him if it comes to that.
I went and made my one good humorous fanfic serious! Why do I keep doing this to myself, darn it?
Reviews make my day! When ever I'm in a tough spot, or have a writers block, they help me out and get me writing again. I'd love it if you'd leave on for me. And please tell me if I'm loosing my ability to write for Arthur, because for some reason I have this sinking feeling that he's starting to sound more like me and less like him...
Until next time! Bis Später!