They are young, sitting in a golden playroom, and Frigga looks at them playing so sweetly, gathers them both in her arms, and says

"You are both loved."

And they hug her back, telling her she is loved just as greatly by them.

Frigga tells them it is not possible.

After Odin teaches them about the war, Thor and Loki are so excited to be kings. And he looks at them with one eye, guides them towards the door, Loki slightly behind, and he smiles and says

"You were both born to be kings."

And Loki is so young he believes it.

Later, when Loki is older but not much stronger, and Thor is older and not much smarter, they both come to Frigga with their problems.

Loki is not strong.

Thor is not smart.

Loki is alone.

Thor feels the fighting is pointless.

And to each, when she can and they will let her, she kisses their foreheads and says, in a whisper

"You are so loved."

He believes it still, but with a hint of doubt. Of inadequacy.

Soon, when Loki is stronger in magic and wits then anyone in the court, he comes to Odin instead. He asks why intelligence is not as praised as strength, and Odin looks so sorrowfully at him and says

"Because that is the way things are. It does not mean it is right, but it is the way it is."

Loki gives up fighting shortly after.

Thor is worried for Loki, he goes to Frigga. And when he tells her that Loki is always alone, and does not participate in hunts as he used to, Frigga sighs and gathers him in to her arms and says

"Because that is the way he is."

Thor decides that this is no reason at all.

The evening before his coronation, Thor approaches Odin in the feasting hall. He looks at him, one hand skimming the edge of his shirt, and asks if he honestly thinks he will make a good king. Odin smiles before saying, honestly but plainly,

"You will make a great king, Thor."

Thor believes him and knows, then, that he will.

ashes, ashes,

The day after Odin has fallen in to Odinsleep, Loki looks at Frigga from across his bed. His hand is gripping his shirt so tightly he thinks his fingers will break. He asks her if she is sure he can do this. If she really, really, thinks that a Jotun, a monster, can rule Asgard. Frigga gathers him so tightly in her arms and Loki remembers all the times she's done it before.

"You are my son, Loki. And I am a great ruler. And so you shall be, loved by all your people. But most greatly, my son, loved my me."

And Loki doesn't believe her. He doesn't believe anything.

we all fall down

Loki is dangling, so near to falling, and he tells Odin- his father- that he has done what will earn him glory. That he has thrown his books and become strong because that is the way things are, are they not? And he knows that Odin will welcome him with pride. Knows it because he can't bring himself to believe anything else. But Odin looks down and says

"No, Loki."

and Loki decides he will believe nothing again

and Loki knows, as he falls,

he is not loved

he is not cherished, or worthy of pride, he is not even Jotun or a monster

he is alone.

a/n I swear even if it is canon I will never again write a fic where the end is Loki committing suicide. (Three! I've written three! I need to stop.) Anyways, do review if you can.