A/N: blaaaaaaaaaah

- Theresa

Don't Be Mad, I'm Just a Little Late

Summary: "I'm sorry - I'll be late, but go on without me, alright? Don't wait up."

Rachel dreams of the soft touch of Quinn's hands on her face and the feel of her lips curving into a smile against her skin.

"Don't wait up," Quinn whispers.

"For what?" Rachel asks dazedly.

Quinn only smiles and presses her lips against Rachel's again.

It's a perfectly sunny day.

"Kurt, this apartment is a mess! I told you Quinn was coming!"

Kurt sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he puts his cereal bowl in the sink. "Yes, that's all you've ever talked about."

"Everything has to be perfect."

"Everything is always perfect," Kurt says pointedly, but the stress on his words is lost on Rachel who is alternating between rearranging small flower pots on the shelf and checking her reflection in the mirror.

Kurt huffs and steers Rachel out the door. "You have a show in an hour. Get down to the theater."

"Oh, right, how could I forget?" Rachel laughs. "I swear Kurt, in my old age, you'll have to make sure my memory stays intact."

She misses Kurt's pained expression as he says "I could swear that's what I'm already doing, Rachel."

Rachel is halfway down when she walks all the way back up. "Kurt!" she calls as she enters. He straightens from where he's fiddling with the phone and answering machine. "Kurt, what are you doing - I just need my umbrella. I feel like it's going to rain today." She furrows her brow as something flickers in her mind, but she can't quite place it. "It's been raining a lot, huh?"

Kurt smiles at her, trying not to make it look too forced. "It has," he agrees quietly.

"What's wrong, Kurt?"

"I - nothing. You're going to be late, Rachel."

It's a perfectly sunny day.

Santana pushes her sunglasses up to her forehead and raps on the door sharply.

"Hey," Kurt greets her tiredly.

"Hi. Where's Short Stuff?" She asks, peering around as if she expects Rachel to jump up and scare her.

"Down at the theater."

"But she doesn't have a show," Santana says, frowning.

"Oh, I know, but that's what I tell her so she gets down there anyway."

"Doesn't that mean she'll be back up soon?"

Kurt nods. "I just needed some time to get everything ready. Where's your other half?"

"Brit wasn't feeling well. She's really upset today because-"

Kurt's eyes widen. "Has it really been a year?"

Santana looks apologetic and completely devastated.

"Well," Kurt says, brushing his hands off. "Rachel knows how take up so much of my time that I've apparently forgotten how to check a calendar."

It's a perfectly sunny day.

"I guess it isn't raining," Rachel mutters, swinging her umbrella back and forth. She checks her phone, sighing impatiently as she sees she has no new messages from Quinn or Kurt or anybody else. The theater looms up ahead and she hurries a little because Rachel Berry is never one to be late. The walk took a little longer than expected, but she found her way.

The stage manager greets her pleasantly. "Hello Rachel - Rachel? What are you doing here?" he asks, almost too brightly. "Rachel, today's your day off, remember?"

"It is?" Rachel's brow furrows.

"Rachel, I know you love working - a bit too much, might I add - but come on, today's your day off. The theater isn't even open today."

"I'm sorry - I'm having a bit of an off day, as you can see-" she holds up the umbrella for good measure and beams at the stage manager. "But could I just sing one song? I'm sure Tom wouldn't mind. I can't have come all the way here to not sing."

"I-" he looks around. "Alright. One song."

She opens her mouth, a note leaves, and everything feels alright.

It's a perfectly sunny day and the sun's rays poke into the apartment.

"Kurt!" she shouts, entering the apartment. "I didn't have to be at the theater today! Why'd you tell me I had to be?"

"Berry," Santana greets instead.

Rachel jumps about a mile in the air. "Santana? What are you doing here?"

"Kurt called me. He said you were expecting Q today. I thought I'd say hi."

"Where's Brittany?" Rachel asks suspiciously.

"At home. She's feeling under the weather."

Rachel smiles a little. "When is she ever feeling under the weather?" She frowns a little at the flash of pain that goes through Santana's eyes. "Well, no matter, you can stay and wait with me if you want. Quinn hasn't contacted me yet-"

"Oh Rachel," Kurt says. "There's a voice-mail for you."

"Is it Quinn?" she asks brightly.

"Check," Santana says dryly.

Rachel does and almost squeals as Quinn's voice filters through the apartment.

"Hey Rachel, it's Quinn," her voice says unnecessarily. "I'm sorry - I'll be late, but go on without me, alright? Don't wait up," Quinn says, a teasing lilt to her voice.

"She probably had a late class," Rachel says, sounding disappointed, proud, and ecstatic.

"She probably got distracted by the hot librarian," Santana jokes.

"Help me clean up," Rachel says sharply, tossing a pillow at Santana.

It had been a perfectly sunny day.

Rachel pouts at the door and Santana and Kurt exchange nervous looks.

"Maybe you should just go to bed and when you wake up, Quinn'll be there."

"I- what? Why would I do that?" Rachel rubs her eyes. "She's late," she whispers.

"I'll make tea," Kurt says quietly.

"Quinn's never late," Rachel says, her head starting to hurt more and more. She wishes she were back at the theater or - or that it was sunny outside again. She wants to do something or she's going to lose her mind.

"She is sometimes," Santana says softly.

Rachel sighs deeply, and Santana thinks she might listen to them and fall asleep, but she's surprised when Rachel lashes out and kicks at a nearby potted plant. It tips over and Rachel yells "No! She's never late! I'm going to call her!"

"Don't, Rachel."

It's the intensity behind Santana's words and the way her hand has clamped down on Rachel's arm. Santana doesn't look carefree and aloof anymore. She looks scared and upset - things that Santana Lopez had never been before.

"Do you know something?" Rachel asks harshly, reaching out to the answering machine to play Quinn's message again.

"Hey Rachel, it's Quinn. I'm sorry - I'll be late, but go on without me, alright? Don't wait up."

Rachel stares down at the answering machine in deep concentration.

"Rachel?" Kurt asks tentatively.

"She's cheating on me, isn't she?" she directs at Santana, who gives her a withering glare.

"Quinn would never do that to you, Berry and you know that. I dare you to ask me that again."

Rachel has the sense to look properly chagrined. "I - I'm sorry, but Santana, what am I supposed to think when Quinn's not here and I'm going crazy wondering where she is?"

"She'll be here," Santana soothes, pulling Rachel into her and stroking her hair.

. . .

The breakdown happens a lot faster than Kurt and Santana expect. Rachel catches a glimpse of a plant that she didn't remember planting.

"What is that?"

"A gardenia."

"I know it's a gardenia, Kurt. I meant, what is it doing here?"

She inches closer to it even though something inside her is screaming and crying and it's just so completely painful that she almost just stops to collapse on the couch.

"Rachel?"

"Hey Rachel, it's Quinn. I'm sorry - I'll be late, but go on without me, alright? Don't wait up."

Quinn's message rings in her head and suddenly she's right in front of the flower, cradling it as if it's going to fall apart at any minute.

Quinn Fabray -

- A sharp inhale -

"-I'll be late, but go on without me, alright?"

Rachel sets the plant down shakily and stumbles back into Santana's waiting arms.

Kurt gently moves the plant away, but not before she catches the writing on the pot again.

Quinn Fabray - 1994 - 2012

2012

It's a gloomy, raining day.

Rachel breathlessly picks up the phone after the third ring, eager to demand why Quinn has not yet arrived.

"Rachel Berry?"

Her blood runs cold.

"Rachel..? Ms. Berry?"

"Who is this?" she whispers.

"This is Dr. Stewart at Mount Sinai Medical Hospital-"

Rachel can't help the sharp gasp that leaves her mouth.

"-And you were listed under Ms. Fabray-"

Rachel drops the phone and collapses back against the wall just as Kurt comes rushing out.

He takes one look at her panicked expression and one look at the phone on the ground. He goes towards it and answers tentatively all while making careful steps towards Rachel's still form.

Rachel isn't aware of anything except of the feel of her heart shattering into a million pieces.

She loses her mind.

2032

Rachel is now aware of the lines on Kurt and Santana's face - the damage the years have done to them. She shudders and gasps as another rippling rush of pain courses through her.

"Quinn," she whimpers.

"Quinn would have wanted you to move on," Kurt says sadly, with a tinge of desperation. "It's been twenty years."

Rachel manages a sob before turning to Santana. "Where's Brittany, Santana?"

"She's at home," Santana answers.

"Why?"

"Because she-" Santana chokes a little.

"Why?!" Rachel demands.

"Because she can't stand to see you like this!" Santana shouts. "Rachel, damnit, do you even know where you are?"

"Home!" Rachel shouts. "Home because this is where Quinn is!"

"You're at a fucking mental hospital!" Santana screams. "You've been here for the past fifteen years after Kurt couldn't look after you anymore and you had mental breakdowns in your fathers' house!"

"Quinn would've wanted you to move on," Kurt says softly.

"Stop talking about her like she's gone!" Rachel screams back. "She's not gone!"

"Rachel-"

"Fuck!" Santana shouts, as Rachel throws the phone in her direction. "Calm down!"

"I - I - " Rachel shudders and collapses in a tiny ball in the middle of the floor. "I - oh God - it hurts. It's been hurting all day," Rachel whispers. Kurt and Santana are by her side instantly and the soft hand touching her cheek makes her shut her eyes. "Why is she gone?" she asks brokenly.

Neither Kurt or Santana have an answer.

"I love her," Rachel whispers in the silence.

"We know," Kurt says.

"She knows," Santana corrects. "And she loved you way too much for her own good."

Rachel sniffles. "I'm losing my mind, aren't I?" she asks quietly. "It hurts so much - it can't be anything else. Can I self-diagnose?"

"We're here for you," Kurt whispers.

Rachel's heart aches for Quinn to be there instead, despite how selfish it is to deny Kurt and Santana's love. She aches for familiar arms to hold her and familiar smells to surround her.

She just aches.

"It hurts," she whispers again, her vision blurring. "I'm tired. I think I'll sleep now."

"I'll get the pillows," she hears Santana say distantly.

Rachel wants to stay asleep forever. She wants to stay like this forever.

"Don't wait up," Quinn whispers, running her hand through Rachel's hair. She smiles a smile that belies the tear that slips down her cheek.

"For what?" Rachel asks dazedly. "Why are you crying?"

"Go on without me, alright?" Quinn says, sounding strangely detached.

"No," Rachel murmurs, unable to find the energy in her to panic.

Quinn only smiles - and there's the Quinn she knows - and presses her lips against Rachel's again.

It's warm and bright, not a teardrop on Rachel's face or a raindrop in the sky.