A/N: Happy new year! Not all of this was written sober, apologies.

I'm looking to post this on ao3, I have an account, I just need a little help understanding. Please PM if you'll help.

He was here again, it was all so similar. The irony was quite incredible; Steve almost wanted to laugh, despite the situation. Almost.

So how had he ended up here?

Another plane, another ocean, another existence depending on him, on his ultimate sacrifice.

But the stakes were so much higher this time. Forget New York, this bomb would obliterate an area twice the size of Texas, leaving no life behind.

Steve felt he had to do it, even if it meant leaving behind everything, for a second time. Again he'd not get to say goodbye to some people, the same as before, people who meant the world to him now.

"Steve," Tony's voice crackled in Steve's earpiece, "Don't do this, please bailout."

"I have to make sure the plane hits the water, Tony," Steve managed.

"Steve," Tony begged, "you won't survive this time." Steve swallowed the lump in his throat.

"I know, I didn't think I'd survive the first time I did this either."

"Please! Just get out, I can sto-"

"You won't get here in time, I love you, Tony," The air pressure was hitting Steve harder, but it felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. He'd said it, no promises he couldn't keep, no games to distract him from what was approaching. He could say his final goodbye to the person who'd pulled Steve from his lonely place.

Steve would never hear Tony say 'I love you' back, but that was okay. He knew that Tony loved him, he was afraid.

The approaching blue didn't matter now; he could go happy, certain that Tony knew he was loved, certain that his team was going to be safe, certain this was the right decision.

Steve angled the jet further down, almost vertically. The water flew towards Steve, and he let his eyes close, the blackness taking over.

And Steve's last thoughts were of Tony, every detail of their perfect days together.

-8 hours earlier-

The Avengers were assembled around the table, having breakfast as a unit for the first time in three months.

Clint and Natasha were sporting several injuries from their latest mission together, and were taking turns prodding each other, eliciting little squeals from Natasha.

Thor was concentrating on the task at hand, shovelling as much food into his system as possible.

Bruce was scrawling notes in between mouthfuls of cereal, his latest project too exciting to leave in the lab.

And Steve, was grinning at the comic he was reading, an original from the 1940s. Tony had spend insane amounts of money on it, considering it had been 50 cents 70 years ago.

Tony, however, didn't care. To see Steve smile, was worth it. So Tony continued to watch him silently. The sun was still rising over the New York skyline, shining on the side of Steve's face.

The gentle sun rays bounced off Steve's profile, creating a silhouette for Tony to gaze at.

It was such a mundane sight, an outsider would probably be confused.

But Tony liked mundane days, he traced the outline of the ring box in his pocket.

Mundane days were always good.

Steve rolled off Tony, having bested him in hand to hand combat for the third time in a row.

Not that Tony minded being pinned down by a sweaty Steve, but now he was now scowling at Tony, "You're not even trying."

"Yes, I am!" Tony insisted; he always started off trying anyway. Normally Steve's perfect physique would end up distracting him by the second round and he got beat. Steve shook his head with a smile and turned away, busying himself with weights.

Tony lay flat on his back on the cushioned sparring floor of Avengers Tower, he was a mere five metres from the engagement ring he'd made for Steve, the black box was hidden under Tony's jacket on the bench. The ring was a silver and vibranium alloy, simple and strong.

Things with Pepper had broken down shortly after the first Battle of New York, she couldn't handle it.

The pain had been horrible and sharp for both of them to start with, until slowly they came back together as friends, and it was better that way.

Pepper had never felt right to Tony, and it was she who had pushed his feelings for Steve in the first place.

But she was right, what Tony and Steve had was different, and Tony struggled to believe that a man such as Steve, could ever love Tony.

Yet it had happened.

Tony rolled off the mat towards the bench, intending for the ring. He was going to show Steve just how much he was trying.

"Steve, I need to…"

He was cut off by the 'Avengers Alarm'. There was a crisis. Tony scowled and cursed.

Could S.H.I.E.L.D not wait?

Tony was running on adrenaline, shooting burst of super-cooled ice at the odd mechanical fire hybrids that were running around Miami. Steve and Thor were miles away in Cuba in fact, where Doctor Doom was externally manipulating, well, everything basically.

SHIELD's latest update for the team had received about the situation, was that Doctor Doom had teamed up with Dark Phoenix, some out of control mutant chick apparently, that happened to be naked and on fire.

Hence the mechanical fire thingies.

They were quite amusing, with the way they almost waddled, Tony thought, apart from the obvious issues of being on fire, breathing fire, dribbling oil, lighting the oil, and the flying ones were really fucking annoying.

Tony continued to fire ice, lasers, and bullets, everything at them almost automatically, but his mind was on Steve. He disliked being so far from him, so utterly helpless if something went wrong.

"Pay attention, Stark," Natasha snapped over the comm, "you almost froze my ass."

Tony focused his sight again, only for another voice to come down the comm.

"Guys, we have a problem," Steve said slowly.

"Go," Clint said.

"Thor and I are on the Helicarrier, an aircraft left Doom's base about 10 seconds ago, and it's fast guys. Really fast, it'll be under us in about thirty seconds we think, and we have reason to believe there's a bomb on there that could kill pretty much everything within an area twice the size of Texas," Steve told them.

"Remotely stop it?" Tony suggested.

"Why weren't you in the base anyway?" Clint.

"Phoenix was giving us problems," Steve sighed. "And Tony it's not possible."

There was silence on all the comms, and the lack of static meant someone had either muted theirs or thrown it off, probably the former.

The static returned less than a minute later.

"Tony?" Fury said, his voice lacking the usual sass, which could only mean bad news.

"Yeah?" Tony replied, as casually as he could manage. He only had one thought, Steve.

"Steve, jumped off the Helicarrier, onto the plane," Fury replied, "He's still alive. That's all we got."

Tony stopped. Stopped everything. His heart included.

"JARVIS, get me a lock on that plane," Tony changed his path of flight, thinking of the ring that remained in the Avengers Tower.

"Right away, Sir." The AI replied. The lock was instant, and Tony could let his mind wander, so long as he kept his body locked.

Tony thought of every memory he had with Steve: the argument that started it all, the first date, Steve assaulting Tony with kisses after Tony almost died. Tony's breath stopped as he thought of the wooden box he had hidden away- full of tiny scraps of paper, every single word Tony had wanted to say to Steve but hadn't ever been able to manage. Tony had written them on paper, it seemed personal, and couldn't be copied. Each one had scrawls of writing on, some more than others. Just Tony's feelings, how he really felt. And he just hadn't been ready to say them yet, letting his fear keep the words from leaving his mouth.

And now Steve might not hear them, so he had to get to him.

"Steve," Tony switched his comm so all he could hear was Steve. "Don't do this, please bailout." He couldn't get the rest of his thoughts out. I have so much left to say, to do.

"I have to make sure the plane hits the water, Tony," Steve said back.

"Sir, if Captain Rogers hits the water at his current speed, it is highly probable he will not survive, almost definite," JARVIS put in. Tony almost fell out of the sky.

"Steve," Tony poured all the desperation into his voice, "You won't survive this time."

"I know , I didn't think I'd survive the first time I did this either." Steve replied. He knew. Steve was giving it all up, leaving Tony alone. Tony had trusted him, was ready to swear his life to Steve. Tony could see the scenario in his head, Steve would almost definitely be in the pilot's seat, the Captain America look would be gone, replaced by his own personal determination.

"Please! Just get out, I can sto-"

"You won't get here in time," Steve interjected, and Tony knew he was right, the plane had sonic boomed two seconds ago, and Tony was still five seconds out.

"I love you, Tony," Steve said. And then Tony could see the plane; it took a sudden drop, that Tony could assume was Steve was forcing the plane down.

The slim jet had a bulky looking bomb on the bottom, and Steve was right, it would kill millions.

But Tony pictured his life without Steve, years and years flooded into his head, and Tony saw his lifetime alone in half a second:

The team returning from missions, missing their team captain, debriefing, and someone else will have to take the lead because Steve always did, the empty floor on the tower that Steve never used anyway but would still need to be cleaned out.

More personal things, Tony, sleeping alone in bed, never-ending dinners without Steve at the head of the table grinning at them all, not having him there making self-deprecating jokes to make everyone else happy.

Natasha would miss Steve's understanding, and Clint wouldn't have his 'bro'. Bruce couldn't marvel at Steve anymore, and Thor would be just devastated. Thor had seen Steve as worthy of everything on the Earth, and every other world equally, the same way Tony had.

But it was Tony who would be most affected, missing Steve in all the ways the others would but then he would also simply be alone. Worse than everything else, missing a part of himself that had become was so vital. Tony would essentially become an emotionless potato, reckless and dangerous.

Tony redirected all the power of the arc reactor into the repulsors, pushing his suit faster than it had ever been before. He could make out Steve now, in the blue suit, looking calm and at peace.

Ten metres from the water, and Steve had to be in pain, despite his seemingly peaceful appearance.

Tony's suit collided with the glass at the front of the jet, put he powered through until his arms were around Steve, then launched upward, just as the nose of the plain hit the water.

-9 days later-

Natasha's hand found Clint's, and their fingers entwined. Two days ago, if you told Natasha that the first thing to make her cry in twenty years would be Tony Stark, she'd have punched you, but now the tears slid freely down her face, dragging mascara and makeup with them.

The momentum of the plane had pushed Tony and Steve downwards, despite Tony's efforts. The effect of the attempt had, however, destroyed Tony's suit, and him inside it.

Tony Stark, who'd have cut the wire three years ago, had given his life up for someone else, for the one thing he couldn't live without.

So, yes, the memorial had been bad, but this was worse.

Pepper had presented the bedridden Steve with two boxes. Steve's face had been pained at the memorial, as he watched from his wheelchair, but now he looked as though his soul had been crushed.

The first box was small, black, and obviously contained a ring. As Steve opened the lid, Pepper explained it was a silver and vibranium alloy, designed and created by Tony himself.

"It was his intention to make something simple, beautiful, and designed to stand the test of time," she spoke softly, but her voice cracked on the last word. They'd all admired the ring, for something so understated, it was so stunning.

Steve had visibly paled at that, Tony's intentions were painfully obvious, and wordlessly, he'd slid the ring onto his ring finger. His eyes moved onto the next box. A dark mahogany wood, it had been hidden from them for the two years Tony and Steve had been together.

"Those are the things he could was never able say to you," Pepper said in a small voice. Steve opened it and picked out a torn off sheet of paper. Everyone watched carefully, as Steve silently read it.

Finally, for the first time in eight days, he smiled.

"I don't understand what I did to deserve you," Steve read aloud in a wavering voice, "But I'll love you until the day that I die."

I'm so sorry.

Crediting the title to my beta, who sent me this '"Check The Second Box" - delightful in two meanings — one, naturally is an instruction for Steve to look at the box with all of the 'love notes'; and two, on forms (at least here in Texas), under marital status, "Married" is the second option or the second box you can check.'