A/N Written for the Hobbit kink meme on lj which is far too much fun! My second ever Hobbit fic as well, do love falling into new fandoms (well kinda since LOTR has been what got me into fanfiction). Anyway, the moment I read the prompt I knew exactly who would remain adult and why – hence the title. So, without further ado, hope you'll enjoy it!

Disclaimer – I make no claim on any of the characters or places used in this work of fiction, everything belongs to Tolkien and his family a/o the film studio(s) owning the rights. I make no money off of this, nor do I ever plan to make this more than a harmless pastime.

Of all the things that could have gone wrong during their mission, of all the perils that awaited them, all the monsters they would have to face, this particular hitch in their journey no one could have ever predicted even in their wildest mushroom dreams. Kili and Fili had been sent to watch over their ponies once again while the rest of the group set camp and prepared dinner, eating their portions with much gusto after a long day of travelling. Only one who wasn't eating just yet was Gandalf, opting instead to enjoy a good smoke before the culinary delight to have an excuse to smoke after as well and because he promised to share his meal with the youngest brothers since they were curious about so much the others had no interest in.

The whole company praised Bombur's creation to high heavens and relaxed happily once they were all fed; their lounging around had been the picture of content when Gandalf left in search of the terror twins. The moment he reached them bowls in hands, screams rang from the camp and abandoning the food, all three ran back. What they had found upon their return rendered all of them speechless. Where proud dwarven warriors rested just moments before now lay heaps of clothes draping off of the small pudgy shapes of eleven dwarflets and a hobbitling. Fili and Kili stared mouths agape and even Gandalf couldn't help but look wide-eyed. This wasn't good.

Before they could try and assess the situation fully, a loud wail emitted from one of the dwarflings and was soon followed by majority of the rest pushing Fili straight back into big brother mode when Kili was but a babe, instinct making him run to them without hesitation, doing his best to calm the wee ones down even if he was hopelessly outnumbered. Although less experienced, Kili couldn't just stand there and do nothing when the children were clearly upset and did his best to follow his brother's lead. Gandalf instead thought of what could have caused this and came to the ultimate conclusion that it must have been the food. Warning the brothers by voicing his theory, he quickly went for his horse, jumped on top of its back and rode away with promises that he would do his best to find out what happened and how to reverse it, wishing the two best of luck in babysitting until he returned. In short, he ran far far away as fast as he could before he would be roped into babysitting himself.

Sharing a panicked look, the brothers realized that they were stuck with the situation and would have to wait it out as best they could, at least they had set up camp near a cave which would hopefully protect them from most harm in one of the less dangerous parts of Middle Earth. It had taken them close to an hour to get all the children to calm down and sit with them forming a circle around the fire, an hour in which the *adults*, and how simply wrong was it to think of Fili and Kili as the adults of the group, realised a couple of things. All of the dwarves and the hobbit were turned into their races' approximation of 5 year olds no matter their age differences beforehand, they seemed to remember some things from their childhood, those related knew each other at least, and they had no clothes around fit for children, no toys to help occupy them, no food better suited for their sensitive tummies and a big heap of various weapons that would need concealing from curious hands. Fili and Kili were doomed.

Deciding that the ponies would simply have to take care of themselves, the brothers did their best to cut and adjust clothes for the little ones and herd them all into the cave where they lit up another fire and attempted to put the children to sleep, it was late for such small ones already. Easier said than done as Fili knew it would be, shuddering at the thought of how much trouble it used to be to get Kili to sleep as he looked at how many potential Kilis there were. The kids let themselves be put under the cover of spread out bed rolls easily enough but would hear nothing about sleeping. Half demanded good night stories, half demanded to be sung to to sleep and all of them expected the adults to do something.

Shrugging their shoulders at each other, Fili promised to sing them a lullaby while Kili promised to tell them a story if they promised to go to sleep afterwards. Twelve heads nodded enthusiastically and before they knew it, Fili and Kili were covered in cuddly dwarflets and a little hobbit. Kili's tale was captivating, even as a small child Kili preferred to be the one making up the tale than the one having it told to, and many an eyelid fluttered closed before it was over, the rest of them lulled to sleep by Fili's tender voice as he sang one of the lullabies his brother used to favour.

Moving the children back to their original place as gently as possible, not that it was needed since all of them were a dead weight captured in the land of dreams, the brothers sat further away and began strategizing, constantly looking back to check up on their charges.

"Fili, what in Durin's name are we going to do?!"

"Language Kili. And I have no idea, this wasn't exactly part of the plan."

"Well you figure something out, you're the older one!"

"Tsk, all of a sudden I'm the older one eh? Not what you were saying when it had its advantages!"

Bickering for a few more minutes in hushed tones, both deflated and went back to the root of the problem.

"How are we to keep all of them safe? Obviously we can't travel like this."

"Mmm, that's a given. We'll also have to take shifts guarding the entrance, brace yourself for sleepless nights brother."

Kili wasn't completely sure what Fili meant, even with just two of them both would get to sleep for half a night. Fili however knew that even 3 hours of sleep was mere wishful thinking, he remembered only too well that Kili at that age would wake up repeatedly during the night for various reasons.

"Get a head start and go to sleep first Kili, you'll thank me later."

Giving his brother a confused look, for once Kili decided not to argue and rolled out his own sleeping bag and within minutes of lying down fell asleep. Fili sighed and looked outside, this would be a long night he just knew it.