Malin: IDIOT!

Me: Sorry.

Malin: SUPER FOOL!

Me: Sorry again.

Malin: You wholeheartedly PROMISED to not upload anything new before you had finished the Star and what do you do?

Me: Break the promise.

Malin: EXACTLY! It's new year's day and you have four stories uploaded already, plus the story going on on fictionpress, plus that story you adopted and promised to start on and haven't yet, PLUS...

Me: Working full time and a volunteer work every fourth weekend and cooking and staying healthy and catching some sleep in between.

Malin: (sighs deeply) I'm surprised you have fans at all and that they actually stay with you. Not to mention that this story's already been written a hundred times before by other authors on this site.

Me: (mumbles) I know. (brightens up) But I really did want to take a shot at it because it's just so interesting. More than that, Luffy's eaten a different devil fruit, but I'm not going to tell anyone what it is.

Malin: (helplessly shakes head) "Keeping up the interest" huh. What am I to do with you?

Me: (smiles brightly) Leave me to update this. Eiichiro Oda-sensei owns all rights to One Piece and I'm making absolutely no profit out of writing this. I'm open for suggestions but will mostly follow the original storyline of the manga, once in a while adding spiced scenes from the anime as well as my own fillers and filler chapters and my own set up adventures for the crew. I hope you will enjoy this monster story of mine. If you don't, I'll be good and erase it.

Oh, and warning for gender bender!

Happy reading

EDIT; Cover Art made by You Light The Sky. She's amazing! She made my dream come true! It doesn't matter how much time passes or if I ever get any more fanart, this one is the first I ever received so it will always hold a special place in my heart and for this story! Do follow You Light The Sky here on fanfiction dot net. You can find the links to her other acconts on her profile :D

Part1; Enter Monkey D. Ruffy

It hurt. Pain pulsed through every vein like blood.

Everything hurt. Dizziness and the brightness made it impossible to see anything.

'Where… am I?'

Slowly the vision cleared. There was a familiar blue beyond moving spots and filters of different green shades.

'The… sky? Trees?'

Somewhere in a short distance a hissing sound was heard. Only after becoming aware of it once, the hissing continued, accompanied with the soft splash.

'The sea…?'

The vision blurred again. It hurt too much.

'Sun…'

Too sad to cry.

Too tired to move or fight the creeping unconsciousness.

There was nothing left but going to sleep, wondering if there would be a tomorrow, wishing the past could just be erased.

Chapter 1/2; Pirates!

Pirates are barbarians, all of them. Filthy, bloody murderers sailing the sea looking for their next prey. It's said that once branded with the title of pirate, you lose your soul and become nothing but a starving beast. That's why you'd never believe that the people aboard this white and pink ship covered with hearts, walking on their knees to make sure the deck was spotless, were indeed pirates.

They were all men with tattoos, bulky arms and legs who took a bath every second day and cleaned their face morning and night. Armed with cleaning rugs, brooms and mops rather than swords and pistols, they were polishing the wood of the ship as well as the metal of the cannons and cannonballs rather eagerly. The sails and flag were being washed in the boat house ashore.

A woman wearing a blue captain's coat stepped up on the deck with purposely slow and heavy steps and every man stood stiff and straight, waiting for the end of the inspection of their work.

"What is this I see!" the woman roared and picked up a speck of dust that had most probably just blown in from the land where they had docked. "Who is responsible for the railing?!"

"AH! I'm so sorry, Alvida-sama! I'll start over again! Please, just don't…"

The woman turned and glared. "Don't… what?"

"Not the iron bludgeon…!"

The man was sent flying over the railing and to the sea with a crushed skull. Some grieved for their friend and everyone wished they wouldn't be next. They cowered in fear, holding their cleaning tools closer to them as if that would protect them. One man, responsible for the cannonballs, couldn't help himself and started rubbing the metal ball furiously.

"Coby!" the woman called.

"Hai!"

The answer came from a young boy with round glasses, about half or less the size of the rest of the crewmen.

"Who is most beautiful on all the seas?"

"O… o-o-o-of course… it's you… A-Alvida-sama."

"That's right." The woman growled like a hound and turned her enormous body around to face her crew, speaking with a low voice. "I am beautiful. That is why the ship I travel with must be beautiful as well. Get off your lazy asses!"

"HAI! ALVIDA-SAMA!"

Well, at first look they didn't seem like much for being pirates, but the captain, vain as she might be, was the most pirate-like person around, even when she made cleaning-freaks out of her men.

She turned to the little boy she liked to have around. "Tell me why you are alive, Coby."

"B-b-b-be-because… I know h-h-how to na-navigate… Alvida-sama."

"That's right. But that's also the only thing you are good for! Clean my shoes!"

The young boy hurried to take out a small box and a cleaning rug, too scared to do anything but obey. Because the pirate captain Alvida with the iron bludgeon was strong enough to keep a bunch of men, stronger than average, at bay and still have strength to spare.

The same afternoon the ship stood ready to sail, spotless to the point where it gleamed in the sunlight. The captain of the ship stood and admired it from the shore. Her men had all gone into the forest to gather food and water for their next journey. Coby too. Not that anybody cared about him much, but Alvida insisted they didn't leave him behind.

He had walked farther than the rest; to make sure he wouldn't get in the way and be beaten. Life as a pirate-slave wasn't easy on his small body, and self-esteem he didn't own any.

"Nobody is here, right…" Coby whispered and peeked out into a clearing from behind a tree. He couldn't see anyone and sighed in relief.

Coming out from behind the tree the young boy intended to walk around a rather large hole in the ground to pass the clearing and hide behind the next tree. That is, until he noticed what was in the bottom of said hole and stood stiff.

A person lay down there. A person with long black hair, covered with blood and holding onto a katana with both hands. Coby just stood there trembling and gaping.

'What… should… I do?' he thought halfway into panic.

First he jumped in behind a bush to hide. That was the safest in case the person was to wake up and attack. But after a few minutes with silence, Coby dared to peek out from under the bush. He slowly crawled over to the hole.

"Ano…?" he called down, barely above a whisper.

The person stayed still.

"Are… are you okay?"

Still nothing. So this person wouldn't wake up and attack. That's why Coby dared to go down into the hole and take a closer look.

The wounds looked painful. The cloths were tattered, if you could call them cloths. Maybe it had been a kimono once, but there wasn't much left of it.

"Are you… dead?"

When there was still no answer, Coby's panic was a fact. Holding his head he ran around the whole clearing in a circle.

'What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I dooooo?'

A groan made him stop dead in his tracks. For about a minute Coby stood as still as a stone statue, hardly breathing.

"Some… one…"

Coby's heart tried to escape his chest. He turned, hearing the impossibly loud cracking of his neck.

"Is there… somebody there?"

The voice was weak, and followed by a sound as if the person talking was being strangled.

Coby jumped away at first and then quickly crawled on his stomach to the edge of the hole. The person down there had a pained expression and was tugging at something that Coby couldn't see, but was grasping the person's throat.

Even with his cowardly nature, Coby was still a caring soul and therefore jumped down to the person to take a look and try to be of some help. But the stranger threw an arm out, ripping off the cloth from the left side, and laid still, breathing harshly.

It was a woman. Coby basically knew what a female body looked like, but had never seen one exposed. Because naturally, nobody exposed themselves to strangers… and God be blessed that Alvida-sama didn't enjoy showing skin.

He should cover it again. If this woman happened to open her eyes he'd be a dead man. So Coby slowly, very, very, very carefully slowly reached out over the body trembling with a harsh breath to move the cloth back over the… breast.

Looking at his arm Coby noticed his skin had turned red. This wasn't good. Not at all. Here he was in the middle of the forest with a half-naked woman and Alvida-sama would soon grow impatient and start looking for him.

"Who are you?"

Nobody had probably ever jumped so high or so far. The stranger girl couldn't help but laugh, but started coughing almost immediately.

"Ah… are you alright?"

The girl took a deep breath and looked up at him. She had dark brown eyes with such a depth that Coby thought he would drown if he looked too deep into them.

"I'll manage," the girl croaked and smiled.

Coby felt like he was shot through his heart by an arrow.

"Where is this place?"

"This… Alvida-sama has a…" The mention of the enormous woman-pirate brought Coby back to his senses. "I'm sorry. This island is the base of the pirate captain Alvida with the iron bludgeon. I'm the chore boy, my name's Coby."

"Oh." The girl giggled a little, but stopped when she started coughing again, still she smiled. "Well, not that it matters. I can't really move right now." Her face became thoughtful. "And I'm so huuungryyyy."

At that Coby remembered what he was doing in the forest to begin with. He actually had gathered a little bit of fruit and he could get a bit of water from his secret base.

"Wait here a minute."

Everyone was coming back, one after one. They brought aboard wild boars and birds that they had caught, vegetables and barrels of saké and water.

They were all coming back, except for one.

"Oi, you."

"Yes captain?"

"Where is the pipsqueak?"

"My name's Rayla, but my friends call me Ruffy. Thanks for feeding me."

"Oh, no problem."

The odd girl had managed to cover her chest and sit up as Coby went to bring some food and water. It was only some apples and grapes, but this girl ate them with pleasure.

"Excuse me, um, Rayla-san…"

"Ruffy."

"Huh?"

"My friends call me Ruffy," the girl said and fired another big smile, unknowingly shooting a second, third and fourth arrow through Coby's poor heart.

"Ru… Ru… Ruffy-san."

The girl smiled again, a different smile, one that was as bright as the sun and made Coby realize how sad she had looked before then.

"Ruffy-san… what are you doing here?"

"I don't know. I was sent flying and woke up here."

"Sent flying… from where?"

"I don't know, but it was really scary. I don't even know what sea this is."

The boy's thoughts ended half-finished as a single question pushed through his mind. "What sea are you from?"

The girl looked strangely at him. "East Blue?"

Coby sighed with relief and laughed at himself. For a second he had thought Ruffy-san had been sent flying from another ocean. How silly of him. His imagination was way too wild.

"Don't worry," he told the girl with a smile. "You're still in East Blue."

"Oh," was all she answered and stuffed another apple into her mouth.

"But Ruffy-san, have you been in a fight. All those wounds."

"Yeah, I've been fighting for some time. But I guess it's over now."

Coby looked at her. Even when Ruffy-san continued to eat, something sad had come over her… again.

He took in her appearance in more detail. Her body looked lean… no meagre. The bare arms looked scrawny even with the lines of muscle showing underneath the bloodied skin. The kimono-thing she wore had probably once been white, but was now more red, grey and dark brown. Thick jet-black hair flowed down the girl's back all the way to her waist, and a worn straw hat rested on her back, hanging in a string around her neck.

There was something else there, around the neck; a thin chain with black beads about an inch apart. Underneath the string for the hat and the bead-necklace was a two inches broad scar. One that seemed to make a full circle around Ruffy-san's throat.

Coby was about to ask about it when the sound of splintered wood reached them, followed by a black comet that passed over their heads. Good thing they sat in a hole.

Ruffy turned and followed the projectile with her eyes. Coby screamed.

"Where have you been, Coby?!"

Alvida easily caught her bludgeon as it returned to her like a boomerang. Her body towered over the two sitting inside the hole in the ground.

"What's this I see? Coby? Have you hired a bounty hunter?"

The boy trembled badly and couldn't form a single sound that even slightly resembled words. Ruffy stared openly.

"Very well then. Coby!"

That demanding tone of voice had been used against him for two years, so the response was automatic "Ha-hai?"

"I'll ask you one last time. Who is most beautiful on all the seas?"

"Tha… that is… o-of course…" Coby stuttered, forcing the words off his reluctant tongue like so many times before, only this time he knew; saying those words wouldn't save him. Had he ever been this scared in his life?

"Who's this fat old lady?"

For a few seconds after those words, the world fell silent. The speaker was Ruffy, who sat on the ground with her finger pointing at Alvida. Everybody who heard stood gaping in shock, until Alvida's growling voice broke the silence that is.

"Whaaat diiiiid yoooooouuuuuu saaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy?"

Coby acted fast and grabbed Ruffy by the shoulders and shook her. "Don't say that! This woman is the world's most…"

He stared into the surprised face of the stranger girl. Her eyes were big and had a warm colour, her face was nice and her body was, albeit lacking fat, better shaped than any woman Coby remembered having seen in his life. She didn't wear any make-up and still her long, dark eye-lashes made her eyes seem bigger and her naturally medium pink lips stood out, even when slightly chapped. No freckles or blemishes anywhere on her skin save the cuts.

Yes, save the cuts, blood and dirt, Ruffy-san was everything that Alvida was not.

"The world's most what? Eh? Coby!"

The boy took a deep breath. "FATTEST… UGLIEST SMELLY OLD HAAAAAG!"

Half of Alvida's crewmembers fainted.

Ruffy laughed wholeheartedly.

Alvida exploded. "KONOU GAKIIIIII!"

Coby screamed and held his head, as if that could save him.

But something did save him. Ruffy grabbed his waist and jumped backwards, out of reach for the bludgeon Alvida swung at him. Throwing the boy in behind her, Ruffy stood prepared with the still sheathed katana.

Alvida raised an eyebrow. "Huh? You're not that pirate hunter Lolonoa Zoro, are you?"

"Pirate…?"

"You are pirates?"

The six year old girl tilted her head to the side, curiously watching the man beside the bed she had just woken up in.

"Yes. But don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you."

She tilted her head to the other side, taking in the straw hat over the man's red hair, his dark eyes and kind face, the open shirt, the sash around his waist, the loose black pants and the sandals on his feet.

"Are you sure you're a pirate?" she asked.

The man with the red hair laughed, along with the other three men in the room.

"Why do you doubt? I should know what I am," the man said.

"But jii-chan says that pirates are evil and mean."

The man laughed again and ruffled the girl's black hair. "I'm just not mean to a little kid girl that was about to drown. What were you doing in the water anyway?"

"I played a prank on jii-chan and he threw me out the window and I landed in the water."

For some reason, the room fell very silent.

"Okay. Where are you from? We can deliver you back to your island."

"Really?"

"Really. Come on, let's go up to deck and greet the others."

"Are they pirates too?" the girl asked and let the man lift her into his arms.

"Yup. We are all pirates on this ship, except for you."

"Can I be a pirate too?"

For the third time, the red-haired man started laughing. "I don't think your parents would appreciate that."

"I think mother was one before, but she quit."

"Oh, that would make it easier for you then," the man said. "My name is Shanks."

"I'm Ruffy."

They just made it to the deck when a man skidded to a halt right in front of them. "Captain! It's Garp! He just took aim for us."

"Oh, that's not good. Sorry Ruffy-chan. I have to ask you to…"

"That's my jii-chan!"

"What?!"

The men on deck looked from the little girl to the dog-headed marine ship. Ruffy got out of Shank's grasp and ran over to the railing.

"Jii-chan! Jii-chan!" she called and waved.

Immediately the grand man stood on top of the figure head. "YOU BLOODY PIRATES! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY GRANDDAUGHTER?!"

"They saved me, jii-chan no baka!" the girl yelled back.

"BE QUIET! I'M GOING OVER THERE TO PICK YOU UP RIGHT NOW!"

"That's some jii-chan you have there," Shanks said, impressed.

"Violent jii-chan… hits me all the time," the girl mumbled with a pout. "So I'll be a pirate instead."

"Oh? Isn't he gonna be angry then?"

"But pirates run from marines, right. If I'm a pirate, I don't have to go to jii-chan and be hit."

Once again Shanks laughed, until Garp jumped onto his deck. The pirates all silenced and stiffened, glaring at the intruder.

"I didn't invite you," said the suddenly serious red-haired pirate dangerously.

"I don't need an invitation from a pirate to fetch my granddaughter. I'm gonna make a great marine of her, so be prepared."

"No. I'm gonna be a pirate," the girl said bluntly.

"Well, it doesn't matter who you are. I'm gonna crush you both here and now!"

Alvida swung her bludgeon down and heard a loud crash.

All the men of the pirate captain Alvida with the iron bludgeon suddenly felt smaller. Coby couldn't believe what he saw, because surely it couldn't be real.

The girl with the straw hat and katana still stood with her first up. All around her lay scratted chunks of iron, big and small.

Alvida stared at the handle of her beloved weapon. It was the only thing left of it.

"What? My iron bludgeon…?! How…? Who are you?"

The girl looked up at the other woman with a wide, challenging grin and eyes the colour of pure gold. "I'm Monkey D. Ruffy." Her eyes flashed as her grin widened. "Pirate."