Bond was alone in his apartment, it was the day after Q's funeral and he was alone with his thoughts as usual. It has been a three weeks since Q was killed and Bond was on leave.

"I am so sorry Q, I should have been there to protect you; to stop this from happening. I should have been the one who got the bullet not you, you had so much life left and fight in you" said bond as he sighed deeply.

He remembers that day well, he was on a mission with Q to retrieve a laptop which had secret missile blue prints… They where close to completing the mission when Q was shot by a sniper from one of the rooftops, Bond cradled Q in his arms and spoke softly to him before he died, Bond always relives the memory repeatedly wondering if he could have prevented it; been there sooner.

Bond always took someones death hard, but with Q it was different as He was not only a colleague but his lover someone who he shared all his deepest and darkest secrets with, who came to visit him in hospital when he was injured from a mission who cooked him meals when he was too tired too, too focused on other things to bother.

He remembers all that happened the day Q died: his mad dash looking at the rooftops to see if anyone was there. The mad call to get medical assistance and the paramedics pronouncing Q dead at the scene, he remembers it all and with vivid detail.

Bond was sitting on his couch in his apartment and had a glass of his finest malt whisky beside him, He had a small tattered picture he kept of Q from when they went on holidays to Bermuda in his hand, it usually lived in his wallet but he wanted to have a look at the man he loved one last time.

Tears start to flow from his eyes as he realizes Q will never come back though the front door again, he's been in denial for weeks and no matter how hard he tried to think it wasn't so, he realized in his heart of hearts that it was final Q wasn't going to come back into his life or his home.

He remembered the trip well as Q adored the sun, despite his pale skin getting slightly red with sunburn and bond loved marlin fishing. The spend nights sitting on the beach watching the waves and caressing each other and enjoy drunken dinners spent talking about something other than espionage, other than working for her majesty secret service something other than the latest computer gadgets that Q was working on.

They always enjoyed the trips away from work, while they were rare; it gave them a chance to recuperate, refocus not only on there jobs. But each other….

But that is gone now … and Bond only has the memories in his heart to remind him of his lost love

End