Jade, Wine, and Turk training

By Kimetara

Multi-part

AN:  The couple's Reno/Tifa!  (Love that pairing!)  Uh...well, this was SUPPOSED to be a one-shot, but it kind of lengthened...  ^^;;  R&R please! 

Disclaimer: I'm 14 years old and I'm poor.  I think that clarifies whether I own FFVII or not.

*blah* = thought

***** = flashback

~~~~~ = time/POV break

~ blah ~ = song lyrics

Prologue: Saying good-bye

~ I've lied

To you

The same way that I always do

This is

The last smile

That I'll fake for the sake of being with you ~

Tifa sat on her piano stool, bathed in the light of the rising sun.  She was trying out a new song she'd found a couple days ago in a thrift shop.  Ever since the media and fans had finally let up three months ago, Tifa spent all the time she could outside.

The song she'd found was named 'First Love.'  *It's very pretty...* she mused.  *Sweet, but with touches of sadness...*  Clearing her mind of all else, Tifa submerged herself into the music, letting the melody flow through her, feeling the rise and fall of emotion from the song.

          As the last keys died away, Tifa sighed again and closed her eyes.  *First Love...Cloud...*

~ (Everything falls apart

Even the people who never frown

Eventually break down)

The sacrifice of hiding in a lie ~

          Turning around, Tifa gave her room at Nibelheim one last look.  The piano, the desk, the bed...the suitcase on the bed...

~ (Everything has to end

We're so far we're out of time left

To watch it all unwind)

The sacrifice of never knowing ~

          After the danger of Meteor had passed two years ago, the group pretty much broken up and gone their separate ways.  Yuffie went back to Wutai, which was prospering nicely with the help of all the materia Yuffie had "acquired."  Barret, stuck between the dilemmas of taking care of his daughter and rebuilding Corel, decided to move in with Elmyra so that Marlene would have somebody to take care of her, but he could still go back to Corel during the day to help.  Last Tifa had heard, Barret and Elmyra were on more than just a friendly status.  The thought made her smile.

          Cid went back to Rocket Town and proposed to Shera, just like everybody had expected.  Their wedding had been about a year ago.  Tifa sighed rather sadly at the memory.  Although she had attended, Cloud didn't.  In truth, she felt rather angry Cloud wouldn't come, Aeris or no.  *It's not fair to everybody else.*

~ Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see

Your testing me

Pushes me away ~

          Red XIII, or Nanaki, was the current guardian of Cosmo Canyon.  Reeve had stored Cait Sith away somewhere – he confessed somewhat sheepishly that he'd grown a bit of an attachment to his stuffed counterpart.  (They'd all laughed, but in actuality Tifa was glad he hadn't destroyed the toy.)  Speaking of Reeve, he had become the new president of Shinra, which was now a solar energy and reconstruction plant. 

*He's really doing a great job in rebuilding Midgar.  I wonder though, if those rumors about him and Elena are true...*

~ Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see

Your testing me

Pushes me away ~

          Vincent had gone off...somewhere.  Tifa didn't know, nobody did.  They were all shocked when he'd appeared at Cid and Shera's wedding.  Tifa had been pleased to see him though.  It was obvious that he was still keeping tabs on his old friends, even if they rarely saw it.

~ I've tried

Like you

To do everything you wanted to

This is

The last time

I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you ~

          Cloud and Tifa had spent a year searching for Aeris, but eventually Cloud had given up, much to Tifa's relief.  She wanted to find Aeris too, of course, but..."in the Lifestream" could imply "after death," and the thought of wasting her life searching for a ghost bothered her a bit.  She never broached this point to Cloud though.  She knew that finding Aeris would be the key to Cloud's happiness, and she couldn't ever bring herself to do anything to hurt him.  Luckily, Cloud had figured this out himself, and came to her for advice.

*****

          "Hey Tifa?"

          Tifa looked up from the campfire to glowing blue eyes.  "Yeah?"

          Cloud scratched the back of his head.  "Well...I've been thinking."

          Tifa gave him a questioning look.

          "What if...what if we're only destined to meet Aeris after we die?  I mean, the Lifestream is where we go in death..."

          The brunette blinked.  She hadn't expected Cloud to come up with the same conclusion as her.  "I know.  Actually, that's occurred to me too."

          Cloud came and squatted beside her, staring into the fire.  "I think...maybe we ought to stop looking.  If we're meant to see Aeris, we'll see her, looking or not."

          Tifa smiled sadly.  "Yeah, I guess you're right."

*****

After that, and a little more wandering around, they had returned to Nibelheim.  They didn't really have anywhere else to go, and because of that, had mutually agreed to stay together.     

Cloud had never moved on though.  Tifa had stayed with him for another year, hoping, but... 

~ Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see

Your testing me

Pushes me away ~

He appeared to be happy.  In fact, Tifa truly suspected he was, which the certainty he'd meet Aeris again, although he may have to wait a little longer.  And everyday, Cloud went off by himself...  Tifa had followed him once.  Just once, to make sure he wasn't in need of help.  She watched him as he walked into a flower field.  She watched as he picked the best blooms, smelled them, then walked into Mt. Nibel.  She watched as he threw the bouquet over the cliff, sat down, and starting talking.  To her.  And Tifa had sighed and walked home.

~ Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see

Your testing me

Pushes me away ~

She never thought she'd give up on Cloud.  They'd been through so much together...and she'd waited seven, no, nine years, including these two past.

~ (We're all out of time

This is how we find how it all unwinds)

The sacrifice of hiding in a lie

(We're all out of time

This is how we find how it all unwinds)

The sacrifice is never knowing ~

          *But...a person can only wait so long, right?*  For a moment, she felt guilty about her decision, but shook it off.  *I'm not going to waste my life waiting for something that I'll never get.  If Cloud wants me...he'll be able to find me.  And if now, well, then I guess that's life.  Just got to keep moving on.*

          Feeling a new wave of determination, Tifa stood up and walked downstairs.

~ Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see

Your testing me

Pushes me away

Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see

Your testing me

Pushes me away ~

~~~~~

          "Let's see...how does this go again?  Three eggs?" Cloud muttered, trying to remember the recipe for waffles.  "Yeah, I think that's right.  Oh, good morning Tifa!" he spoke cheerfully, hearing her come down the stairs.  "Waffles alright?"

          "..."

          "Tifa?"  Cloud turned around to look at his best friend, ignoring the eggbeater in his hand dripping batter over the floor.  "You okay?" he asked worriedly.

          Tifa looked up from the floor, and locked eyes with the blond man.  "...Cloud."

          "Yeah?"  Cloud was beginning to freak out now.

          Slowly, she took two steps toward him, ending up about a foot away.  "Cloud.  You don't love me, do you."  She stated.  It wasn't even a question.

          Immediately, Cloud burned with shame.  He'd gone over this question so many times...he should love her, right?  She's his best friend, she's always been there, she was beautiful, intelligent, loyal...but just not for him.  And he felt terrible, because he knew how much it hurt her.  "...no."  He held his breath, hoping to dear God she wouldn't cry.

          Tifa only nodded thoughtfully.  "I knew."  She turned around, heading back towards the stairs.  Cloud released his breath in relief.  *I ought to have known better.  Tifa's tough.*

          "I'm going to leave, Cloud."

          "Wha?"  Cloud blinked.

          "I said," she drew out slowly, "I'm leaving."  She looked up at his eyes.  "The only reason I've stayed, Cloud, is for you."  She looked away, her eyes distant.  "In fact, everything I've done was for you...ever since that promise at the well.  But now..." her eyes returned to Cloud's, the seriousness of her tone reflected in them, "I'm not going to live my life for you anymore, Cloud.  It isn't worth it, you know, loving you without any hope of being loved back.  So I'm going to go away for a while...find out what I really have to live for..."

          Cloud just stared at her.

          She gave him a sad half-smile.  "Hey, we'll still be friends.  I'm not saying I'm gonna leave forever.  Just until I figure myself out.  Okay?"  She wanted his permission.  She wasn't sure why, but it was important to her that he had faith in her little plan.  Maybe because she wasn't so sure how well it'd work either.

          Cloud slowly nodded.  "....okay.  I understand, Tifa."

          "Thank you, Cloud," she answered simply.

          Ten minutes later, Tifa was on her golden chocobo, Nathan, and headed off away from Nibelheim.

~ Pushes me away... ~

          She was unaware of the dark eyes following her.

AN:  The song "First Love" is by Utada Hikaru (thanks DarkAngel!).  "Pushing Me Away" is by Linkin Park.  If you listen to them, there's a REALLY big contrast.  But I like the conflicting emotions, lol.  (Music will be making occasional appearances throughout the fic.)

What did you think of the prologue?  I thought it'd be a nice change to have Tifa leave Cloud instead of the other way around.