"You're thinking," Castle whispers, wrapping his arms around her and settling his chin on her shoulder, taking in the darkened intersection of Crosby and Broome.

"You should try it sometime," she snaps, stepping forward out of his embrace and laying her forehead against the cool glass of the window in the living room.

"Kate…" he sighs, unsure whether to take a step back and give her the space she's hinting at, or step forward and reclaim her in his arms.

"I can't help it." She turns around and allows herself to fall back into him, forehead pressed against his shoulder, making the decision for him. "I'm sorry. I just… I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be. I don't…. I don't know." She shrugs. "Where do we go from here? Will is dead, and my baby is just as gone as she was before. And he knew the whole damn time. He once asked me to marry him, and then he played me worse than even Bracken ever did or could."

"We start back at the beginning, Kate. You've been going for four years without a hint, a clue, an inkling as to what happened to Rory, but now we know. We know what happened; Sorenson strolled into her room, hid her in a laundry basket, and wheeled her right out the door. Sorenson had her! She was alive, and so we go back to that day and we track him every day since. We find someone that saw him that day, and the days after. We question everybody that knew him, anybody that crossed paths with him, and we piece together the puzzle until we know where she is."

She stays quiet for a while, taking in everything he'd said. "What if she isn't?" she finally whispers.

"Then we know, and we can lay your baby to rest the right way. We can give her the sendoff and the love that she deserves."

"She doesn't deserve this," Kate cries, holding him so tightly it feels like she's trying to crawl inside of him. "She doesn't deserve any of this. That little girl deserved the whole wide world. She deserved dance classes and movie marathons and ice cream for breakfast. She deserved cuddles and puppies and skip days in the park. She deserved stories written about her and stars named after her. She saved my life, and she deserved hers."

He doesn't know what to say anymore. Words, finally, have failed him. Because Kate's right; Rory deserved the universe, and there's nothing he can say to calm her, to comfort her, and nothing to say that can change what's happened. All he can do is hold her until it passes, and then work with her to create their battle plan. All they can do is take each day as it comes, follow up with every possibility, and hope for their miracle.

"I'm here," he finally murmurs, pressing his lips against her temple. "I'm here, Kate, and we're gonna chase this thing til the end of time. You and me, we're gonna go to every corner of the earth the search takes us to. And I promise you, that Rory's gonna have her stories, and she's gonna have her stars."

He feels her gasp, her chest caving against his and a rush of hot breath against his neck. "Nothing has ever felt more impossible than this," she admits, a fresh round of tears running down her cheeks, dripping onto the fabric of his shirt. "It's like there's a vice gripping my heart, and that one little move will tear it in two. Like the slightest breeze could knock me over, send my blood pouring out. I feel like I don't know how to live anymore. I feel like I can't."

He's never seen her so open or raw before. Not like this. "Kate, please," he begs, lifting her into his arms and settling them on the couch, feet on the floor with her curled into a ball.

"I can't help it. I've never felt so small, like such a failure. It's like she was right under my nose the whole time, and I couldn't see it. That one mistake may have cost us everything, and I can't stop thinking about it.

"I can't even put my thoughts together, Castle. My head feels like it's going to explode. Can't it be over?" she begs, feeling herself crack in half. "I just want it stop."

"You are the strongest person I know." His voice is a low rumble, tears choking him. "I would bet everything I had on you, no matter what. This is a bad day. It's not your first, and it won't be your last. But tomorrow morning, when we wake up, it's going to be a new day. And we're going to face this, head on, together. And I will be here whenever this happens, whenever you need. You are safe, you are strong, and I love you, Kate. Please don't ever forget that. We're going to get through this. No matter how hard it is, no matter what it throws at us, no matter what we find. We are going to make it through. I believe in us, and I know you do, too."

"I do," she whispers, pushing off of him, meeting his gaze for the first time since he'd found her staring out the window. "I believe in you. Thank you for standing with me; there's no one else I'd rather have to fight alongside me."

"I'm not going anywhere," he promises. "There nowhere else I'd rather be than right here with you. No matter where this leads us, I'm in it."

"What did I do to deserve you?" she wonders absentmindedly, eyelashes sticking to each other as she blinks lazily, trying to clear the tears out of her eyes. "There must have been some mistake."

"None so far as I can see. This is exactly where we're supposed to be."

"Can we be here, but in bed?"

"Yeah," he agrees, standing easily despite the dead weight she's become in his lap. "Bed sounds good."

The next morning, they arrive at the precinct twenty-three minutes apart, Castle placing her latte on the desktop in front of her and pausing to squeeze her shoulder as he takes his seat. "Oh, good, you're here," she says, pushing back from the edge of her desk. "Hey guys, can we meet in the conference room for a few minutes?"

"Sure thing, Boss," Esposito agrees, striding ahead while Ryan looks over to Castle in confusion; there's no active case, and no occasion for a private meeting. Castle shrugs in response, unsure as to why she's calling them all together.

She shuts the door once they're all inside, flicking the blinds shut on the door and windows and setting a messenger bag down at the head of the table. She takes a deep breath, looks at each of her boys, and flips the bag open, nodding decisively. "This isn't easy for me," she begins quietly, her shoulders squared rigidly as she maintains eye contact with a spider on the ceiling. "You all know I'm a private person, and I have a difficult time admitting when I can't do something." She breaks her stare with the insect and meets each set of eyes in turn. "I don't like to ask for help."

She withdraws a sheet from her bag, taking a moment to run her fingers down the shiny photo paper, buying the time she needs to pull herself together and take the plunge. "I need your help." She places the picture face up, towards the boys, and sits down.

Castle is unsure how to react, whether to act like he doesn't know what's going on or admit he's already up to date on the situation, so he sits stoically in his chair as Ryan reaches forward to pull the photo close enough to see the details, confusion creating wrinkles all around as he takes in rosy cheeks atop a toothy grin, reddish-brown locks curling into vibrant green eyes, and a small red scratch across a button nose.

"What the hell is this, Beckett?" Esposito asks quietly, glancing back and forth from the photo to the woman in question.

"This is Rory," she says. "This is my daughter. And I need your help to track her down.

"I don't know if she's still alive." She swallows back the crack in her voice, unwilling to break in front of her team. "I don't think there's even the possibility of a possibility that she is. But I went for years not knowing what had happened; how she'd disappeared or who had taken her. But recently, just this week, I learned more. I know who took her, and I know how they did it.

"I'm asking for your help to dig deeper. This is a cold case. The department assumes her dead and, I must admit, I do, too. But I have to know. I have to know for sure, and how, and where. And I know I can't do that by myself."

"Why did you keep this from us?" Ryan speaks first, the hurt obvious in both his tone and expression. "We've worked with you for years, Kate, and you never told us this? No pictures on your desk, no anecdotal stories, no birthday celebrations? How could you keep this from us?"

"We're not just your team, Beckett, we're your friends," Esposito agrees.

"For the longest time, it felt easier to pretend like everything was normal. If there was no dead daughter, there was no room for pity. There was no room for reliving the nightmare or listening to patronizing apologies.

"I kept Rory at home, where I still hear her singing Itsy Bitsy Spider in the shower, and still feel her snuggled into my side on the couch, and still see her dancing down the hall, and I left her there with my emotions.

"I locked her up with my heart in the bottom drawer, and I set myself up to do my job without my feelings becoming a factor. I've had a lot of time the last few days to look back on the way I handled this, and to try to work through everything going on inside. I don't think I would have done anything differently, looking back… that was how I made it through the day.

"But I don't want Rory to live in the bottom drawer. I don't want her to be just a ghost in the hall or an echo off the tile. And I don't want to live my life closed off, anymore. I want to find out what happened, and I want to share Rory every moment of every day. I want to paint the world with her light. I want her to live on through me. Through us.

"I know it's not fair of me to ask. I kept secrets, and I'm sure I broke your trust, but there's no one else I would trust with this."

"Of course we're in this." Esposito is the first to respond, taking all of them by surprise. "Of course we are. Where do we start?"

They dive right in, discussing the circumstances of her illness, her disappearance and the recent developments, creating their own murder board, finding the biggest spots in need of filling in, and divvying up the tasks on their to-do list.

"We're gonna get him, Boss," Espo promises as they wrap up their session, getting ready to head out to a scene. "Just another bump in the road."

"Yeah," Ryan agrees. "Nothing we can't handle." They high five as they exit the conference room.

"I'm so proud of you." Castle takes the brief moment of solitude to pull her in for a hug. "You are so strong," he reminds her, and he'll keep reminding her until she doesn't need to hear it anymore. Until she knows herself just how strong she is.

"All because of you."

"Please." He scoffs. "Like Kate Beckett ever needed a man behind her strength. It's all on you, Babe. It's all you."

"It's us," she counters. "I'm strong. You're strong. And together, we're unstoppable. I'm ready to face anything with you."

He'll have to keep that in mind.

It's late when she finally closes her folder, a sticky note to remind herself where she's at the next morning pressed along the top edge.

The boys are long gone and the night shift is sparse, leaving her desk lamp one of only a few illuminating the expanse of the bullpen. She closes out of her reports, phone records and copies of financials on their two main suspects, and leans back in her chair, running her hands over her face.

She'd insisted the boys go home and get a good dinner after the case they had caught, Castle included. A little girl, eight years old, had been found in her own home after she had failed to show up for school for the past week, and she wanted him to go hold onto his own little girl for a little while.

There was little sign of recent life in the apartment; the dates on the milk had expired the week before, the fish in the tank had swum up to greet her, begging to be fed when she pressed her face close, and the prior week's paper was still in front of the door. Ramona Mabry was still in her wicker day bed, the sun filtering in through the dusty blinds casting shadows across her body, when the police arrived to perform a wellness check.

The majority of her mother's belongings were missing, but a photograph on her bathroom mirror of her with her arm around another man led the team to their two main suspects: Rebecca Mabry and her boyfriend, Manny Talerico.

Rebecca's records are clean; no calls out and no funds withdrawn, other than what turned out to be an automatic cable bill and magazine renewal. Manny Talerico is even more of a ghost, impossible to track down. Her first goal for the morning will be to scrutinize Rebecca's phone records prior to her disappearance to see if she can uncover Manny's number.

Until they track them down, and until Lanie comes back with her own report, Kate can only speculate about what had happened. Had Rebecca decided her boyfriend was more important, that Ramona was holding her back? Had she drugged her? Starved her? Had the boyfriend done so, sending Rebecca into a panic?

She can't imagine what could bring anyone to such to circumstances, but she knows she has to put that away for the next day before it plagues her all night.

After a couple of cleansing breaths, she uncovers her face, taking in the homicide floor. But instead of near darkness, she can see the light shining in from the outer walls.

Instead of solitude, she sees Ryan standing in the captain's doorway, updating her on something while Esposito sits at the desk across from hers.

The ding of the elevator reveals Castle, her daughter's hand clenched in his as she bounds alongside him to greet her extended family.

She breaks out of Castle's grasp and runs for their little part of the floor, flying into her Uncle Javi's outstretched arms, smiling widely at Ryan over his shoulder. She sits on Esposito's lap as he takes a phone call, dutifully nodding along with him and taking notes with a spare highlighter, interrupted only when he hangs up and runs his fingers up and down her sides, sending her into a fit of giggles.

Kate reaches down, withdrawing the photo that started it all from her bottom drawer.

"Aurora, I trust you're not disturbing my detectives," Captain Gates says, stepping out of her office.

"No sir," Rory assures her, eyes wide as she shakes her head. But Gates breaks out into a smile, stepping forward to offer the girl a kiss on the cheek. "I've been helping!"

"Don't trust her, Sir." Ryan joins in on the fun, pointing an accusing finger at her daughter. "She's a total distraction."

Rory offers Captain Gates the highlighter notes as proof, giggling when she praises her for her assistance.

She pulls out the stand gently, dusts off the edges of frame, and sets it right next to her computer screen.

"Who wants a burger?" Castle booms, putting an end to everyone's antics as they all, even Gates, agree on a dinner date to Remy's.

Oh, what could have been. "You're still here though, baby girl," Kate sighs, reaching over to shut off her light as she stands, the smiling face of her chubby-cheeked toddler briefly disappearing before her eyes adjust to the dimmed lighting. "Somehow, some way, you're here anyway. You always will be."