Okay, for starters: This was a pain in the ass to write. Literally. It was actually aggravating.

Okay. Now that that's out of the way. I found this while I was looking for a prompt on Hetalia kink meme. I thought it was interesting: America explaining why Americans think that foreign languages are sexy to another character who just doesn't get it.

And I write AmeBel. Lots of it. So.

Okay, 1) I don't own Hetalia. But, boy, if I did...

2) Not posting this on kink meme. Heheh.

3) The translations are at the end, in the order they appear in the fic. There's lots. Yeah. Hehe.

And, lastly, 4) Sorry if the translations suck. I only speak English and a small amount of Italian (a very small amount), sooooo yep.

Enjoy~

"Alfred, I really don't understand."

"What's not to understand, Natty?!" I question, exasperated. I've been trying to explain the same thing to her for the past hour, and I have no freaking idea how she still doesn't get it. "It's really quite attractive. Even if they are making fun of us," I sigh.

"But why?"

I growl under my breath and slam my head down on the table in front of me. The World Summit is this week, and I, being the lovesick idiot that I am, had invited the Belarusian to stay with me over the course of the meeting, since it was in New York City. To my surprise and excitement, she accepted. She's only been here for about five hours, and we're already arguing over something: how Americans, including me, find it sexually arousing when people talk in foreign languages.

I was hoping that she would start speaking Russian or Belarusian throughout this argument to test the theory, but she hasn't yet. Which annoys me, even though she doesn't really need to speak her language to turn me on. It'd be a bonus, though.

She laughs her evil, soprano laugh while I mumble profanities at the table. "Too bad all you can speak is your American English, da," she says. "Otherwise, you'd be able to show me how sexy it really is."

Ooh, this is an opportunity. I lift my head up and grin at her, leaning over the table so my face is just a foot away from hers. "¿Me dispensa? ¿Todo yo puedo hablar es mi inglés norteamericano, dice?"

Her eyes widen a bit and she leans back in her chair. "Oh..."

"Surpris?" I chuckle, getting up and moving around the table to her. "Je ne suis pas aussi stupide que vous ne le pensez, oui?" I kneel down in front of her so we're at the same height.

"I had no idea you could speak French, da," Natalya stares at me in astonishment. I laugh darkly and brush some of her platinum hair behind a pale ear.

'Visto che non puoi capire me," I move behind her, whispering in her ear and twirling a piece of her hair in my fingers. "Posso dirvi quello che voglio."

By her lack of response, I'm guessing that's a yes.

"Wo anzufangen?" I mumble. "Hmm... sie sind sehr hübsch."

Her expression doesn't change. This is going to be very, very fun. I go and sit back in my chair, leaning with my elbows on the table. I stare at her and smirk.

"Jeg hater virkelig din bror," I continue. There's a spark of something in her eyes, but I just dismiss it. My Norwegian must be pretty awesome. "Men ikke akkurat på grunn av den Kalde Krigen."

One of her blonde eyebrow raise slightly. Yeah, my Norwegian is totally awesome.

"Watashi wa kare ga watashi kara anata o nusumudarouga kowai," I poke her nose. "Wareware wa ima wareware ga arou to iu koto o nozonde inaidarou?"

"Alfred, come on," she glares at me. "This is ridiculous. Please stop."

"Σταματήστε;" I chuckle. "Ha. Αλλά ό, τι και αν δουλεύει;"

Natalya seems to growl at me. She noisily pushes her chair back and stands up. "I'll go stay somewhere else."

I stand up, too. I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her. She growls for real this time. "Alfred, I swear to God. Let me go!"

"Én nem hagyom, hogy távozzon," I grin down at her.

"Alfred!" she squirms. "Let me go, da! Now!" Her face turns red as my hold on her gets tighter.

"Нет! Это полностью рабочий!" I almost shout. It has to be working. I mean, come on. My knowledge of all these languages is even turning me on. If I were her, I'd totally do me right now.

"Прекрасно! Это работает!" she exclaims.

Well, hell. I forgot she could speak Russian for a little bit. I let go of her.

She glares up at me, her small hands on her tiny hips. "And for the record," she spits, poison in her voice. "Nadie sabe que saber hablar otros idiomas."

Gulp. "You speak Spanish?" I ask, my voice breaking slightly.

"Et en français, aussi," she takes a step towards me. "Imbécile."

I take a step back. "And let me guess-"

"Italiano, anche," Her expression becomes increasingly annoyed.

I scurry behind the kitchen counter, to get a barrier between us in case Nat decides to attack. "Shit," I mutter. "Shit, shit, shit!" While I must admit that her talking in all these languages is pretty-okay, REALLY-hot, I'm scared of what she knows I said.

"Sie glauben also, ich bin hübsch?" she steps up to the counter and leans on it, placing her chin in her hands. "Haben Sie nicht espect, dass von Ihnen," she adds sarcastically.

"Well, you weren't exactly supposed to-" I start to defend myself.

"Og alle vet at du hater broren min," she cuts me off. She jumps up onto the counter and lays down, so her face is under mine from where I'm standing. "Shikashi, karera wa watashi ga riyū no ichibuda to iu koto o shirimasen," she smirks up at me.

"Uh, well, that's-" I stumble over my words, not knowing exactly how to respond. I try to take a step back, but she takes a hold of my shirt and holds me securely in my spot.

"Ι, για μία" she says in a purr-like manner, pulling me down closer to her by my shirt collar. "nομίζω ότι είναι αξιολάτρευτο."

I blush and gulp again. This stereotype about foreign languages being sexy is definitely true. Trust me-I can feel it. Mostly in my pants.

"Aw," Natalya smirks. She sits up on the counter top and wraps her arms around my neck. She does the same with her legs to my torso. "Cat-nak van a nyelved?"

"A little, yeah," I nod, my voice audibly cracking, much more prominent than the first time it happened.

"Well," she glares at me, still smirking. "Anything else you'd like to say, da?"

I chuckle nervously. "What language?"

"Hmm," she runs a finger through my hair, not breaking eye contact with me. Her face breaks into a grin. "Belarusian."

I grin and nod, picking her up off the counter. "Я збіраюся ўзяць вас да сябе ў спальню цяпер," I whisper in her ear.

"Alfred!" she squeals. She slaps me across the face, but, otherwise, makes no move for me to put her down. "Nyet!"

"It's your fault," I smile, carrying her off. "I told you us Americans find foreign languages sexy."

SPANISH: "¿Me dispensa? ¿Todo yo puedo hablar es mi inglés norteamericano, dice? "Excuse me? All I can speak is my American English, you say?"

FRENCH: "Surpris? Je ne suis pas aussi stupide que vous ne le pensez, oui?" "Surprised? I'm not as stupid as you think, yes?"

ITALIAN: " Visto che non puoi capire me, posso dirvi quello che voglio." "Seeing as you can't understand me, I can say whatever I want."

GERMAN: "Wo anzufangen? Sie sind sehr hübsch." "Where to start? You're very pretty."

NORWEGIAN: "Jeg hater virkelig din bror. Men ikke akkurat på grunn av den Kalde Krigen." "I really hate your brother. But not just because of the Cold War."

JAPANESE: "Watashi wa kare ga watashi kara anata o nusumudarouga kowai. Wareware wa ima wareware ga arou to iu koto o nozonde inaidarou?" "I'm afraid he'll steal you from me. We wouldn't want that, now would we?"

GREEK: "Σταματήστε; Αλλά ό, τι και αν δουλεύει;" "Stop? But what if it's working?"

HUNGARIAN: "Én nem hagyom, hogy távozzon,""I'm not going to let you leave."

RUSSIAN: "Нет! Это полностью рабочий!" "No! It's totally working!"

RUSSIAN: "Прекрасно! Это работает!" "Fine! It's working!"

SPANISH: "Nadie sabe que saber hablar otros idiomas." "No one know you know how to speak other languages."

FRENCH: "Et en français, aussi. Imbécile. " "And French, too. Imbecile."

ITALIAN: "Italiano, anche." "Italian, too."

GERMAN: "Sie glauben also, ich bin hübsch? Haben Sie nicht espect, dass von Ihnen." "So you think I'm pretty? Didn't expect to hear that from you."

NORWEGIAN: "Og alle vet at du hater broren min." "And everyone knows you hate my brother."

JAPANESE: "Shikashi, karera wa watashi ga riyū no ichibuda to iu koto o shirimasen." "But they don't know that I'm part of the reason."

GREEK: "Ι, για μία, nομίζω ότι είναι αξιολάτρευτο." "I, for one, think it's adorable."

HUNGARIAN: "Cat-nak van a nyelved?" "Cat's got your tongue?"

BELARUSIAN: "Я збіраюся ўзяць вас да сябе ў спальню цяпер." "I'm going to take you to my bedroom now."

As I said, this was a pain in the ass to write. I assume it's a pain in the ass to read, too. Sorry.

Also, like I said, the translations probably suck. A lot. But. Ohhh, well.

This was an interesting project. Heh.

Pleassssse review? Grazie!

As always, thanks for reading! ^^