Rabid squirrels have run off with the disclaimer that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters. If you have read any of my alternate universe Misfit fics you know what's coming. If not, I just thought it was time that a certain mutant got into the Evo act. This is my deranged version of what the Evo version of that mutant should be like.

In For A Penny

"So the Professor and Logan are really going to bring a new mutant today?" Kitty was excited as several X-Men and New Mutants waited in the living room.

"They got a call last night are going to pick him up now," Scott nodded.

"Him? So it's another guy?" Bobby asked.

"Well to be honest I don't know," Scott scratched his head.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Kitty asked. "Oh please let it be a girl!"

"No way! That's the last thing we need around here," Ray moaned.

"Says you! I say the more girls around here the merrier!" Roberto smirked.

"That's just because you want to hit on them," Amara folded her arms.

"Well I hope it's a guy," Kurt said.

"You would," Rogue rolled her eyes.

"I say it's gonna be a girl! We could use more girl power!" Tabitha called out. She had finally officially returned to the mansion after months of drifting.

"More? You girls are enough pains as it is!" Ray moaned.

"You wanna see real pain Pikachu?" Tabitha snapped.

"Now everyone calm down," Scott said. "This is not worth getting worked up about."

"Let them be excited, Scott. We haven't had a new mutant come to the Institute in a long time," Jean said.

"What do you mean? Forge just moved in a week ago," Scott asked.

FIZZZZ! BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The lights started to dim and flicker. Then a large explosion was heard in the back. "Sorry! My bad!" Forge called out from wherever he was. "Uh, you guys were planning on renovating the basement right?"

"I see what you mean," Scott said.

"Just hope whoever it is isn't a jerk," Ray grumbled.

"Yeah you kind of have that title hands down," Rogue agreed. Ray glared at her while the other boys chuckled.

"They're here!" Kitty heard the car pull up to the driveway. She began to jump up and down in excitement.

"Kitty remember what we talked about?" Jean reminded her.

"Yeah don't go jumping all over the place and scaring the newbie," Rogue told her.

"You think I should turn on my image inducer?" Kurt asked in a worried tone.

"No. You might as well get it over with and let the new guy see you as you are," Bobby said. "Besides if he's a mutant it won't matter anyway."

"Maybe it will if she is nervous?" Kitty gave him a look.

"Nervous shcmervous," Tabitha waved. "Maybe she also has some physical mutations? Besides Blue looks fine the way he is."

"Or he might not," Ray glared at Tabitha.

"Calm down," Scott said. "Whoever it is let them come in the door first before you jump all over…the person. And Kurt you're fine. Just don't teleport onto someone's head like you did when Kitty first arrived."

"Technically I didn't teleport onto her head," Kurt frowned. "I teleported onto the chandelier above her head. And it sort of broke."

"If I didn't phase in time I would have been killed!" Kitty glared at him. "Any wonder I was freaked out when we first met?"

"Just don't freak out the new mutant and everything will be fine," Jean sighed.

"You really believe that?" Scott asked Jean.

"I have to Scott," Jean told him.

Just then Xavier wheeled into the room. "Hello students. I take it you all wish to greet the new mutant. And don't worry Kurt your appearance will not startle our new arrival."

"How did you…? Oh right, you read minds," Kurt said.

"That and you freak out about your appearance every time we get a new person," Rogue rolled her eyes.

"I want you all to be on your best behavior and take it easy with our new arrival," Xavier spoke. "The new mutant is…special."

"Special is the word for it…" Logan staggered in the door. His clothes were torn. "Head's up everyone. We got a real live one here!"

"What happened to you?" Scott was stunned.

"Our new little friend happened to me," Logan grumbled.

"What he put up a fight?" Bobby asked.

"No, she did it because she likes me…" Logan moaned. A whimpering sound was heard behind him. He turned around. "Oh come on. You can't be scared! You just beat up at least twelve convicts and three cops!"

"Logan please…" Xavier sighed. "Let me. It's all right. You can come in now. No one here will hurt you."

"Oh yeah, nobody's gonna hurt her," Logan grumbled.

Walking in on all fours was a young mutant that couldn't have looked older than ten. She had bright pink skin and very blue eyes. Her hands seemed more like claws and her long wild pink hair was very bushy and stuck out in all directions like an anime character's hair. She was wearing a black leather outfit of some kind with black boots with silver buckles on them. There were silver buckles on her sleeves and the front of her outfit as well.

"Everyone, I would like you to meet…Penance," Xavier said calmly. "Our new student."

"Oh man! Another girl!" Ray groaned.

"Sweet! In your face Ray!" Tabitha laughed.

"Hey cool! You're all pink! I'm all blue!" Kurt waved. "That is awesome!"

"The Pink Knife doesn't talk, Elf," Logan grumbled as Penny looked around.

"Pink Knife?" Rogue asked.

"Those claws cut through iron bars like nothing," Logan grumbled. "And her skin is harder than a rock."

"And I'm afraid her mind is equally impenetrable to my telepathy. The only thing I could get from her mind was one word. Penance," Xavier told them.

"Penance? Why is she called that?" Jean asked.

"I have no idea. And since she is so shielded it explains why I couldn't find her on Cerebro," Xavier said. "We have no idea where she comes from or who her family is."

"So we'll just call her Penny for short," Kitty shrugged. "And we'll be her family. Hi Penny. Wow I like your hair." She got a little too close. "OW!"

"Yeah her hair is also pretty sharp so…" Logan remarked. "You might want to watch that."

"Looks like Rogue's not the only untouchable one around here now," Bobby remarked. Rogue glared at Bobby.

"Bobby please. And I'd like all of you to be patient with Penny," Xavier said. "She's not used to this environment yet and you might scare her."

"Scare her? You do remember she beat the crap out of twelve huge guys and some of them were murderers right?" Logan snapped. "And then she beat the crap out of me!"

"She did not beat you," Xavier said. "She's just…affectionate."

"Murderers? Wait where exactly did you find her?" Kurt asked.

"The cops found her chasing down a couple of thugs down the street," Logan explained. "Let's just say some of them may walk again in a few years."

"What?" Scott asked. "Wait if she's shielded from telepathy that means she can't be found by Cerebro so that means…"

"The cops called us because they were terrified," Logan said. "You don't want to know what she did to that police station. Here's a hint, the pink knife really likes donuts."

Penny was wandering around the living room on all fours sniffing around. "Aside from the sharp hair and the claws she doesn't look so tough. If she's so dangerous how did the cops catch her?" Ray asked.

"They didn't," Logan sighed. "The thugs begged the police to take them to jail. Penny followed them. Right into the police station."

"You mean she let herself get caught?" Ray asked.

"Considering the state of the police station, I'm not so sure caught is the right word," Xavier sighed.

Penny made a purring sound when she went around sniffing the students. "So she can't talk at all?" Rogue asked.

"Apparently not," Xavier said. "We are going to have to teach her how to speak and…PENNY NO!"

"What is she…?" Jean's jaw dropped. "NO! NOT ON THE HOUSEPLANT!"

"Oh gross!" Kitty winced.

"Yeah we may have to housebreak her too…" Logan winced.

"I am not cleaning that up," Rogue spoke up.

"Forge is looking pretty good right about now isn't he?" Scott remarked to Jean. "At least he's housebroken."

BOOOOOOOOOM!

"No, but he'll break our house if we don't keep him in line," Logan moaned as the building shook.

One week later…

"AAAAAAHHH!" Kitty was heard screaming. "SHE DID IT AGAIN! AAAAAH!"

"Oh dear," Hank sighed. "Not again…" He was sitting in the living room reading a paper with his glasses on.

"What was that?" Bobby asked. He was watching TV with Rogue and Jean.

"Penance the Menace has struck again," Rogue smirked.

"Where is the Professor?" Kitty stormed into the room. "Storm? Logan? Anybody?"

"What did she do now?" Jean let out a breath.

"Three dead squirrels are on my bed!" Kitty shouted. "Three very dead squirrels!"

"Oh dear," Hank sighed.

"And she shredded one of my favorite sweaters while taking a nap on it!" Kitty snapped.

"Well she's made herself at home that's for sure," Rogue snickered.

"Home? She's turned our home into a living hell!" Kitty snapped.

"Oh yeah I heard about the whole squirrel head incident," Bobby nodded.

"Kind of hard not to," Rogue said. "With Kitty screaming like a banshee."

"I'd like to see you not scream when you wake up in the morning and find dead squirrels all over your bed!" Kitty snapped. "Wearing your makeup!"

"Makeup?" Jean asked.

"Penny gets into my makeup and decorates the squirrels like they're some kind of deranged dolls!" Kitty shouted. "Why does she go into my room?"

"Because she likes you," Rogue said. "By the way remind me to thank the Professor for finally giving me a room of my own."

"Why don't you just lock the door?" Bobby asked.

"I did! She broke the door!" Kitty shouted.

"What do you mean broke the door?" Bobby asked.

"She broke the door. There is a Penny sized hole in my door!" Kitty fumed.

"You're joking. I don't believe it," Bobby blinked.

"I do. She kind of got out yesterday," Jean sighed.

"Kind of got out?" Rogue said. "What did she do?"

"Let's just say there was a very unhappy bride and she didn't appreciate an extra guest who brought her a severed squirrel head for a wedding gift," Jean admitted. "Or that she ate her cake and ruined her wedding gown."

"Oh boy…" Rogue winced.

"And it's not the first incident of Penny escaping the mansion," Jean sighed.

"Or the last," Rogue blinked and pointed.

Penny scampered in on all fours. She had a mailbag swinging over one shoulder scattering mail everywhere and a car muffler in her strong teeth. "Oh this is not going to help our image," Hank winced.

"Beast?" Sam walked into the room. "There's a couple of cops at the door and a crying mailman and…"He saw Penny. "Never mind."

"Oh goody. Time for another contribution to the police fund," Hank sighed as he got up out of his chair.

The next day…

"This better work Forge," Logan growled. "We can't afford another incident like yesterday!"

"Trust me, this force field will keep Penny in," Forge said as he worked on a device over a door in Penny's room. "Even the Juggernaut can't get through this baby."

"I feel bad locking her up like this," Jean sighed. She was wearing her uniform along with Scott, Logan and Kitty. "Penny doesn't understand what she did was wrong."

"Then it's time for some tough love," Kitty snapped. "Finally I'll get a good night's sleep around here! No more fear of waking up in the morning staring at squirrel heads!"

"I know this is extreme moving her room to the lower levels and locking her in with a force field but this is for her own good," Scott said. "And the good of the entire squirrel population."

"And the mailmen. And the cops. Not to mention brides and the American Daughters of the Revolution," Logan groaned. "Don't ask."

"Look she doesn't even know what we're doing!" Kitty pointed. Penny was happily chewing on something in the middle of a brightly colored room with a bed and several toys in it. "She'll be fine!"

"What is she chewing on?" Jean asked.

"Looks like a wooden leg," Scott blinked. "Where did she…?"

"You don't want to know," Logan groaned. "But Cyclops is right. The Pink Knife is too out of control and wild to just let around loose. Sorry Jean but it has to be done."

"All set. Now just have to push the button and…" Forge pushed a button and turned on a red force field over the door.

By now Penny noticed something was different. She bounded over to the door and looked out with a whimper. "Don't give me those cute eyes! You deserve this!" Kitty snapped. "Penny you are being put in a time out! So stay here! Stay!"

"And if she does try to get out she'll get a mild shock," Forge said.

"Well there's nothing more we can do. I'll bring her some dinner later," Jeans sighed. "Bye Penny."

"Err?" Penny tilted her head.

The sound of something breaking and laughter filtered down from the end of the hallway. "Oh great. Iceman is starting snowball fights in the lower classroom again," Logan groaned.

"Rarr!" Penny chirped and with a bound jumped into the force field.

"Penny no!" Jean shouted.

Somehow the force field started to break apart, the energy bouncing off of Penny's skin and hair. Penny broke through the force field and gleefully ran down the hallway.

"Did she just…?" Kitty blinked.

"Uh huh…" Scott's jaw dropped.

"That's impossible! I put in a level 5 force field in there!" Forge shouted. "There is no way she should have just gotten out like that!"

CRASH!

"AAAH! PENNY! GET OFF! GET OFF!" Bobby was heard yelling.

"Well then how do you explain that?" Logan shouted.

"I don't know! Maybe her skin is so dense somehow it can break through!" Forge protested.

"OW! PENNY MY ARM IS NOT A CHEW TOY!" Bobby screamed. "OWWW!"

"Or maybe your so called impenetrable force field doesn't work," Logan gave Forge a look.

"It works! Just not on Penny!" Forge snapped.

"Are you sure?" Logan folded his arms.

"Yes!" Forge snapped.

"SERIOUSLY! SOMEBODY HELP ME HERE!" Bobby yelled.

"Okay. Let's see for ourselves," Logan said. He shut off the force field. Then he shoved Forge into the room and turned it on again.

"Hey! Come on Wolverine! Ow!" Forge tried to get out but couldn't. "This isn't funny!"

"Neither is waking up to squirrel versions of Tammy Faye Baker," Kitty told him. "You promised you'd put an end to that!"

"YEOWWW!" Bobby yelled.

"I'll go stop her," Jean rolled her eyes and went to help Bobby.

"I'd uh…Better help," Scott sighed as he went after her.

"Oh come on guys! Let me out!" Forge protested.

"Well what do you know? It does work," Logan smirked.

The next day…

"You know I could have been killed," Bobby glared at Jean as she walked with several X-Men and New Mutants to the Danger Room. They all had their uniforms on.

"You were in no danger of being killed," Jean let out a breath.

"Tell that to the stiches in my arm!" Bobby snapped.

"So where's Cyclops and Wolverine?" Kitty asked.

"They decided to run a special Danger Room session to evaluate Penance," Jean explained.

"I heard it was to work off some of that extra energy she has," Rogue spoke up.

"I just hope it leaves her too tired to go squirrel hunting," Kitty groaned.

Scott staggered up to them. He seemed stunned. "Scott? Are you okay?" Jean asked.

"Oh yeah. I'm fine," Scott looked a little stunned.

"So how did Penny's test go? Scott? Scott?" Jean blinked. "Scott? What happened?"

"I saw things in that control room I will never un-see," Scott said in a distant voice. "Horrible, horrible things!"

"Scott what happened?" Jean asked. "Was the Danger Room at a setting that was too difficult for Penny?"

"Difficult? For Penny?" Scott began to laugh a strange laugh.

"I was just a little worried that the Danger Room might be too scary for her," Jean said in a tactful voice.

Just then Penny romped out of the Danger Room on all fours with a robot arm in her teeth. "Oh no…" Scott drawled. "Penny had no problems in the Danger Room. Wolverine on the other hand…"

Logan staggered out of the Danger Room. His face was white and he was in shock. "She broke it…She broke it…"

"What did she break?" Rogue asked.

"EVERYTHING!" Logan wailed.

"What do you mean by everything?" Rogue peeked into the Danger Room. "Oh…Everything. I get it."

"Wow, I haven't seen the Danger Room that big a mess since the mansion got blown up," Ray winced.

"Logan…Are you crying?" Kitty was stunned.

"She's a monster!" Logan wailed tears started to leak from his eyes. "Look what she did to my Danger Room! All my programs, useless! My record on Level Fifteen has been shattered!"

"Wait, she actually beat Level Fifteen?" Bobby's jaw dropped.

"Beat it? She demolished it!" Logan yelled. "She broke my record like she broke everything else!"

"So she managed to beat you out by a couple of seconds," Rogue said. "That's no…"

"Not a couple of seconds Rogue!" Logan told her. "The old record was ten minutes and twelve seconds! The new one is one minute and five!"

"Whoa…" Bobby blinked at Penny looking at him innocently. "Remind me to pick Penny first next time we choose teams for the Danger Room."

"It would have been shorter if Penny actually started the course when I told her to do so," Logan groaned. "She spent ten seconds screwing around and…Ohh I get it! She did it on purpose! You're mocking me aren't you?" Logan glared at Penny.

"Meep?" Penny made a quizzical noise. She waved the robot arm in front of Logan's face.

"No, I don't want the arm! I want a drink! A big one!" Logan moaned as he backed up against the wall and slid down to a sitting point.

"O-kay so I guess Danger Room practice is canceled until further notice," Jean said.

"You're mocking me. You're just mocking me…" Logan muttered again and again.

"Apparently that's not all that's cancelled," Tabitha blinked. "I think the expiration on Badger's brain just exploded."

"No, I don't want the arm! I don't need your pity!" Logan moaned as Penny tried giving him the arm again. "You're laughing at me…laughing at me…"

"She broke him," Sam was stunned. "Penny broke the Wolverine."

"Just chewed him up and spit him out," Ray was stunned.

"Truly there is an ultimate mutant," Bobby said. "And her name is Penny."

"Boy are Magneto and Apocalypse gonna be surprised," Rogue snickered.

"That is a fight I would pay to see," Kurt agreed.

"I can't wait until the Brotherhood try something stupid again," Scott smirked.

FIZZZ!

CRACKLE!

"Oh that is going to take a while to fix," Kurt gulped as he peeked into the Danger Room.

"There goes the budget for the year," Scott sighed.

"Jean, remember when you wondered why her name was Penance?" Rogue asked.

"Yeah," Jean said.

"I think I just figured it out," Rogue remarked.