Come True

By: Michelle Rose Landau

Summary: A perfect apology B-Day cake sets off an argument, and as a result, wishes are made.

Pairing: Deeks/Kensi

A/N: So, Tuesday's ep? Epic fail. What were there writers thinking? Sometimes I feel like they take the fact that fans of their show actually do notice the little details for granted. It's season four, Deeks has been with NCIS for almost as long...how is it that only Hetty remembered Deeks' birthday? That makes no sense. More than that, Kensi forgetting the date? And then, opting instead to placate some incompetent gang banger and his mom? Come. On. Are they for real? Deeks got no love this past episode, and while I enjoyed the case, the team dynamic sucked. Again: epic. Fail. When Deeks explained that Jenny was a former defendant of his, the rest of the team didn't even blink. They acted like they didn't even want to investigate the case at all. The dynamic was completely off, and very disappointing. I felt really bad for Deeks. Even the class clown has feelings. I really hope that they make something of all that transpired, perhaps by having Deeks react to the team's insensitivity. If they don't, thumbs down on this ep, because I feel that Deeks and Kensi have just taken a giant step backward. But I still love the show, and, there's always fanfiction.

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles, nor any of its characters. They (unfortunately, after this last episode) are the sole creative property of CBS.

~one~

He's not gonna lie: it hurt upon hearing Kensi's confession that the dinner plans she'd made were for her and someone else. On his birthday.

The fact that it was Jaime, that simple-minded cartel goon, made it even worse. Okay, so the idiot saved her life? So what? Compared to their partnership, yes, it was a good deed, but, he owed her that much for defending his sorry ass.

Deeks sighs as he swirls the the aged, and, admittedly, quite good scotch in his glass.

He knows the alcohol isn't going to make the dull ache in his heart go away, and he isn't one for drowning his sorrows.

He sets the glass down on his coffee table and lays along the length of his couch, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV. Some comedy show is on, and he leaves it on the station, not really interested. His mind keeps replaying the entire scene, the part when Kensi tells him that she thought his birthday was later in the month. He really hopes that he didn't look as pathetic as he felt in that moment. She was thoroughly embarrassed, and the moment was completely awkward. Regret was in her eyes as she headed out, fresh, made up, and just...beautiful. And all for that dumb ass Jaime.

It was a sucker punch to the gut.

Deeks shakes his head of it.

It's just a birthday, he tries to tell himself.

While that's true, he did have hopes, expectations, he had things he wanted to say...

He may as well forget it, forget about it all because it won't matter after tomorrow.

Just as Deeks is dozing off, he hears a knock on his door, and he sits up with a slight groan, already knowing who it is.

He looks at his watch as he opens the door to Kensi.

"Ah, eleven...fifty. There's still ten minutes left of my birthday."

He sees the pink rise in her cheeks, and she looks down. Her shoulders are slightly hunched in shame. Oh yeah, her tails is definitely tucked. She had a light blue box in her hands and he points to it.

"What is that?"

She looks up at him, and she offers an apologetic smile.

"Can I come in?"

He nods and she steps in, leaving the aroma of her Chanel in the air.

God, her scent.

No, he thinks. You're supposed to be indulging in your righteous anger right now.

She sets the box onto the table excitedly, then she sobers, looking into his eyes.

"Deeks...I'm really sorry that I...forgot your birthday," she admits. "I didn't mean to."

He smirks bitterly. "And yet here we are."

She nods. "I um...I don't know how...we all forgot. Callen and Sam are feeling rotten about it. Eric and Nell, too."

He sits down on the couch.

"Callen, Sam, Eric, nor Nell are my partner," he snaps, and she feels even more terrible for causing his decidedly foul mood.

"I want to make it up to you, so," she pauses and takes out two candles shaped in a three and a two. "I made you a cake."

He can't help but grin. "You?"

"Yeah," she nods as she opens up the box.

It's a chocolate cake, and he looks at it in wonderment. The icing is perfect, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARTY is perfectly and elegantly written across the icing.

"Wow," he marvels. "It looks...edible..."

She rolls her eyes as she sinks the candles into the cake and lights them.

"You made this cake?" Deeks asks. "Really? Your cooking skills are...remedial, at best..."

She frowns. "Okay, so my mom made it."

Deeks snorts, then he gets up, and she looks at him.

"What?"

"Your mom?"

She looks at him quizzically.

"Yeah," she says slowly. "Like you said, my cooking skills are lacking, so she made this one so that it would be utter perfection and...edible."

He crosses his arms over his chest.

"What?" She asks.

"Kens...you can't cook to save your life, but it would've meant a hell of a lot more," he huffs.

Kensi furrows her eyebrows at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that deep down, you don't feel bad enough," he accuses.

She frowns at him. "I do feel bad, but God, Deeks...what do you want me to do? What can I do?"

"You know what you can do?" He asks angrily. "You can stop pretending like this'll just blow over, like we'll just get over it and move on."

She feels her heart beginning to pound in her chest as a wave of anxiety begins to rush over her upon the realization that she has never seen Deeks this upset over something so little this...

"You can stop pretending like I'm not hurt," he says. "You really hurt me today Kensi, in more ways than one, and...you don't see that."

"I do see that," she argues, her chest feeling tight. "I wouldn't be here tonight if I didn't. What the hell do you want from me, Deeks? I'm sorry, okay? I-I honestly didn't mean to forget. It's just that the last couple of years, you've let your birthday pass by and-"

"No, you don't get to make excuses," he interrupts. "And dammit Kens, it's more than just about my birthday...today was the first time in a long, long time that I've felt alone in our partnership. I really thought we'd gotten past the hurdles, I thought that we'd finally settled...I thought that I'd..."

Kensi can't explain why she can't breathe, why she feels as though her world is going to crack, crumble, and shake around her.

"What?" She asks.

He can see that Kensi does not want to have this conversation, that this is making her uncomfortable, that she's nervous, and genuinely confused. He realizes that he's normally more patient with her, and that she's used to his calm demeanor, but his heart is pierced, and the pain is beginning to surface through the ache. They both know that there is more to this, and they are both afraid of it.

"I guess I haven't made it clear enough," he chuckles bitterly. "When I thought that I've actually made it abundantly clear..."

"Deeks, what are you talking about?" She asks impatiently.

"Don't you know by now that you..." He pauses, thinking if he really wants to say it, and he finds that yes, he really, really does. "Kensi, you're the most important woman in my life."

His confession, uttered gently and meekly, comes at her with the force of a tornado, and her breath leaves her.

"You're more to me than just my partner," he continues. "You're my best friend, you're...you've come to mean so much to me and-"

He stops himself, combing his fingers through his hair.

"Deeks..."

"You know how long it's been since I've spoken to either my mom or my sister?" He asks.

She shakes her head.

"Eight years," he says. "And it's been even longer since I've seen them...they don't even call on holidays..."

He pauses as he swallows back emotion.

"I leave messages," he explains in a shaky voice. "Messages, Kens..."

"I-I'm sorry-"

"Stop saying you're sorry!" He yells, making her jump slightly. "Sorry means nothing to me!"

"Well, what do you want me to say to that?" She shoots back. "What am I supposed to say to that? What am I supposed to do with that?"

"Do with it what you will," he says. "Okay? I-I'm done, Kensi. Done."

"Done with what?" She asks angrily, feeling her stomach twist into knots. "Will you just say what you mean?"

"All the time we've spent together lately outside of work, getting closer, the flirting...when I told you today about someone from my past, it took me and Hetty to convince you to help. I had to convince you to help me. It was me today, and you questioned it. You're my partner, Kensi, and I needed you to step up and be there in that moment. I needed you in that moment, I needed you this evening, and you...I honestly thought that things were changing between us for the better, I really thought that things were beginning to happen between us...things that I want to happen, which scares the hell out of me, but I want them nonetheless. But after today, I-I'm not sure anymore. I'm not sure about anything."

"Deeks...I-I...you're my partner," she says, all the fire gone. "You know that I-I care about you. W-why are you making more out of this than what it is?"

"Because this is more than what it is," he sighs. "It has been for a long time, and you know it, Kens. You damn well know it."

Kensi feels her heart racing, she can hear the blood rushing in her ears, feel the warmth of it fill her cheeks and suddenly make her body temperature rise. Her mind is swirling in confusion, fearful of the truth in his words. The fact that he is actually voicing everything that's been floating between them in a vast, invisible ocean scares her more than anything. He's not supposed to bring this up, they're not supposed to be bringing this all up, actively talking-arguing, rather-about it. It's too dangerous, too revealing, too...real. She has no idea what to do with everything that he's told her. All she knows is that he's hurt, really, badly hurt, and she really hopes not beyond repair.

She pushes her hair behind her ears, and he can see the tears glistening in her beautifully mismatched eyes. She looks so gorgeous and just...pretty in this moment, with at least some of her defenses down.

The silence lingers between them, and she shifts back to resilient, unaffected Kensi.

"I don't know what you want from me," she says coolly as she gathers up her purse. "I apologize about not remembering your birthday. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm trying to make things right, but I guess you're too mad right now, and you have a right to be."

She gathers up the cake.

"So...I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"No, you won't," he informs her.

"What?"

Deeks steps closer to her.

"I'm going back to LAPD for a while," he explains.

She swallows thickly.

"How long is a while?"

"I don't know," he shrugs. "Depends. I'll most likely get assigned, and when that happens, then it will be some time. Couple months, maybe more."

The anxiety she felt some minutes ago returns, coming on quicker as it tightens her chest, restricts her breathing, and induces nausea as her body realizes that her mind cannot bear the reality of his absence. It cannot bear what it will do to her.

"Deeks...w-why?"

"We need some distance," he says. "Time to figure things out."

"Figure what out?" She asks. "Deeks, you're my partner..."

"I'm tired of the games, I'm sick of having to prove myself," he explains. "I'm done with trying to prove to you that I-"

He stops, shaking his head.

Kensi blinks away tears.

"I guess you're right," she says. "We'll figure it out."

He grins slightly. "We always do."

She nods.

"Goodnight, Deeks," she says quietly, then she walks out.

Julia turns over in her bed and she glances at the clock.

It is a little after one in the morning, and she sits up, rubbing at her eyes.

She throws the covers off of her and she gets up slowly, sliding her feet into her slippers.

She makes her way down the hall to the steps, intending on getting a glass of water from the kitchen. She nearly jumps out of her skin at the realization that the light in the kitchen is on, but her fears quickly dissipate as she rounds the corner and finds her daughter sitting at the island, sniffling, and demolishing the beautiful chocolate birthday cake she is sure she'd made for Detective Deeks.

"Kensi?"

Kensi looks up and she quickly wipes at her tears.

"Hey."

"Darling, it's one o'clock in the morning," Julia says as she sits at the island. "What are you doing here? Isn't that your partner's birthday cake?"

Kensi eats another forkful of cake, then she speaks.

"Yes, it's his cake," she explains, her mouth full. "But he didn't want it. He didn't accept it, or my apology, and now everything is all screwed up."

Kensi angrily stabs her fork into the moist cake and eats another bite.

"Kensi, you're going to be sick if you eat anymore of that than you already have," Julia cautions. "You should talk about it, honey."

Kensi eats another bite.

"C'mon, sweetie," Julia coaxes. "You can talk to me about anything. You don't have to hide from me. I'm your mom. You don't have to be strong in front of me. What happened?"

Kensi looks at her mother, not bothering to interrupt the tears falling down her cheeks.

"We argued, and he said things to me that were..." She pauses and shakes her head. "Really, really hard to hear."

Kensi takes in a shaky breath, trying to keep herself together.

"He's going back to LAPD," she continues. "He said that we needed some time apart...distance..."

"Oh, sweetie..."

Kensi trembles. "He doesn't know how much those words scare me...but I deserve it. I really hurt Deeks, Mom. I hurt my partner, my best friend. I was thoughtless and insensitive. I bought dinner for one of our informants. Granted, he saved my life, but...Deeks saves me everyday...he's always there for me. He's kept my secrets..."

She releases a watery chuckle. "He even sent a rescue helicopter for me when I was on vacation. On top of emailing and texting me almost every second of everyday we were on leave. When I finally turned my phone back on, he'd called me fifty times. He left I don't know how many messages. When I saw that damn helicopter, I was pissed, but at the same time, it made me laugh. It was the sweetest thing he's ever done for me."

Julia offers a slight smile. "Yeah, that's really...sweet..."

Kensi chuckles a bit. "I know it sounds weird."

Julia grins. "He cares about you."

"Yeah...I did a shitty thing to him today. Now he's leaving..."

"Honey, if you two are truly best friends, then you'll be able to get past this," Julia says.

Kensi eats more of the cake.

"God," Kensi mumbles around cake. "Momma, I just...I'm such a coward."

"Kensi Marie Blye, you are the bravest person I've ever met in my life," Julia insists firmly. "Don't you ever, ever utter those words ever again. You made a mistake..."

"A huge one, Mom," Kensi sniffles. "When it comes to me and him, I am a coward."

"Kensi, you are not a coward, nor are you a wallower. You dust off and fix it. That's what you do. And if he holds it against you, even after you've done all you can, then he doesn't deserve your friendship...he doesn't deserve you at all."

Kensi pushes her hair behind her ears.

"I don't know how to fix it," she says.

"Well, sitting here gobbling up this cake isn't going to help," Julia advises. "Look, it's late. You should get some rest. Let things settle over tonight, then call him or meet him somewhere tomorrow. Talk to him."

Kensi nods.

"Thanks, mom," Kensi says, hugging her mother. "Sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't," Julia assures. "Things will be okay, honey."

Julia kisses Kensi's forehead once she walks Kensi to the door.

"I love you, darling," Julia says.

Kensi grins. "Love you too, Mom."

Deeks finishes off his beer, then he sighs. He wants to go to sleep, but his mind is wired.

Dammit, why'd that woman have to be so stubborn?

She's Kensi, he thinks to himself, and he grins.

He's afraid of what their separation will do to them. To her.

She damn near went out of her mind when he left her side last year, and that hadn't even been real. He knows that she is crushed, because he is too, but he can't continue on this path with her. He can't continue to work with her with the false sense of security lingering between them. Today has caused his faith in their partnership to shake, and he can't protect her if he's distracted.

He can't have her back thinking about how hurt he is, how hurt she is. They can't afford that, not in the line of work they're in.

He's compromised in so many ways.

He'd long ago lost his ability to be objective.

When he first met Kensi, he knew there was something about her, something in her very nature that was dangerous, intriguing, electric, and difficult to say no to. It didn't take long for him to just know that he would do anything for her: enable her junk food addiction, let her take him down when they were sparring, watch Titanic with her and sing the song, let her rant, make a fool out of himself just to make her smile, or laugh, stay on the phone with her all night listening to her sobbing off and on as she released all the pain she'd been feeling about her father once learning the truth about his death, share hot cocoa with her and let her rest her head on his shoulder just watching the world go by on the USS Van Buren over Christmas.

Anything.

He'd fight for her, kill for her...die for her.

She had to know that there isn't anything he wouldn't do for her.

Deeks realizes that, for the first time in their partnership, she's taken him for granted, and that kills him inside. Utterly kills him.

It hurts. Hurts like hell.

He is not looking forward to tomorrow. He is not looking forward to walking into PD and being amongst strangers, just becoming another face in the department, just another badge. He isn't looking forward to the social awkwardness, and suddenly not feeling comfortable in his own skin.

Deeks rests his head back against the cushions.

It's not all about her, though.

It's definitely time to reevaluate things when he finds himself wanting to reach out his hands and play with a lock of her hair. It's never a good sign when he sees himself drowning his fingers into her hair and tilting her lips toward his, he can't concentrate on watching her back when he's watching her backside. He can't do the job Hetty hired him to do when he's thinking about just holding her close and smelling her fragrant neck.

He can't think clearly when he's often carried away by how gorgeous she looks.

Dear God, does he want to take a leap of faith.

He wanted to tonight.

He admits that he got his hopes up high when he heard her making dinner reservations.

Never assume.

He shakes his head.

I wish she'd let me be the man in her life that loves her. I want to be the man in her life that she loves. God, I love her.

Deeks grins a bit.

OMG...I'm in love with Kensi Marie Blye.

With that thought, he begins to doze off.

Kensi didn't let herself completely break down until she got in her car and drove down the street.

She pulled over, blinded by the torrent of tears, unable to breathe, unable to concentrate.

Ten minutes later, she is finally starting to calm, and she wipes at her tears.

She is tired, she has a headache, and she really needs some sleep, but she can't go home, she can't go to sleep with this specter of hurt lingering in her heart, between herself and Deeks. She could have never predicted that the situation would implode on itself and cause their world to completely shatter around them, the shards cutting so deeply.

She doesn't want to go home, she wants to go back to his place, she wants to talk to him, wants to...

She closes her eyes.

Tell him the truth.

Kensi finds that she is frustrated with herself.

The one time she does need open up to her partner, she can't do it. She doesn't have the words to say, she doesn't feel nearly as brave about this as she usually does about everything else.

She grips the steering wheel, biting her lip.

Dad, I wish you were here to tell me what to do...what to say. I miss you so much, Daddy. I really, really do. I would give anything to hear your voice again, smell you again, be in your arms again. If I could, I'd feel better about what I want to say to Deeks. I'd feel stronger, more sure...I'd feel more ready.

She takes a deep breath, then she rummages in her purse for her cell phone.

Once she has it in her hands, she dials Deeks' cell, then she pulls away from the curb and back onto the road.

Her heart is in her throat, her stomach is queasy, and she feels as though she is going to vomit, and it makes her frown slightly because her mother had been right about her eating a little over half of Deeks' birthday cake.

The phone rings, and rings.

"C'mon, please pick up," she mutters to herself.

Finally, Deeks answers.

"Kens, I'm-"

"Please just hear me out," Kensi interrupts gently.

He sighs. "Okay."

Kensi gently nibbles at her bottom lip as she drives into the intersection once the light turns green.

"Kensi?"

"Deeks, I-"

Another vehicle smashes into the side of her car.