I do not own Hetalia- America would have been a little more cheeky and serious, and Canada wouldn't be a character everyone forgot. This is not going to be a happy fun Hetalia fic. It's going to get pretty dark (I might end up raising the rating, depending on just how dark I go), and mess with the characters a whole bunch, especially the nine that went missing. Hence the title:

Twisted Every Way

3 months, three weeks and 4 days.

That was how long the Nations were aware of the fact that 9 nations had disappeared. They wouldn't have even known that if Switzerland hadn't stormed into a meeting with Canada, both demanding to know where their siblings were.

Needless to say, no one was able to forget Canada for the time being. The Maple and Hockey loving nation had taken to carrying a hockey stick everywhere the same way Switzerland had started taking more than one gun.

"This is getting us nowhere." The personification of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland (Better known as the UK, Britain or England, depending on how friendly he was) sighed. "There's no reason for anyone to have taken them, we would have known about it if it was any of our own people, and none of them even have the same enemies."

"None of them have anything in common." Germany sighed. "Both Italies, China, Greece, Liechenstein, Amerika, Prussia, Belarus . . . and Sealand- they have nothing in common."

"Except the fact they're missing." Switzerland glared at the unhelpful file which simply confirmed what they already knew. Sweden quietly wrapped his arm around Finland.

"Their countries are doing fine . . ."

"For now. We've had never had countries without personifications- the other way around, yes." Turkey shifted in his seat, studiously ignoring the empty spot he could still see. He didn't miss Greece at all, he simply wanted to make sure that the bastard was gone.

"It seems traditional means are not working, da? Perhaps United Kingdom has another way?"

"If you're referring to Angleterre's magic, we'd be in even more trouble." France brushed his hair out of his face.

"It's still worth a shot, we've tried everything else." Canada absently tapped his hockey stick on the desk.

"Right . . . I've been doing some research, and I might have a way to get to wherever they are . . . Norway, if you would be so kind as to assist me?"

"That wouldn't be a problem."

"I'm coming too." Switzerland stood.

In the end, Canada, France, Russia, Ukraine, Japan, Germany, Turkey ("I need to talk with Japan about something."), Spain ("You better find mi tomate with this."), Hungary ("I'm only concerned about Italy, not that jerk." ". . . Ok?"), Austria, and the rest of the Nordics had decided to go.

This made England and Norway's work area a little smaller, but even France refrained from mocking the two magic users as they worked. Several hours passed, Hungary raided Britain's kitchen to make tea and snacks for everyone with Japan and France's help, and Denmark and Spain fell asleep by the time the two stopped their nonsensical magic talk of spells, and a bunch of attempts at spells that did nothing but flash brightly.

"Well, we've got it." Spain shot awake, surprising France who had been trying to wake him up.

"But there's a problem."

"What sort of problem?" Denmark yawned.

"Well, we tried to bring them here, but there seems to be interference. However, we can go to them and it might be easier to get back from that side." England rubbed his head.

"'That side'?" Austria questioned.

"You could call it several things, but it's basically the realm where all magical creatures go when they're not here." Norway explained. "Sort of a world within our world."

"And Italy and the others are there?" Germany frowned. "How could they get there?"

"It's not uncommon for portals between our two worlds to open, most of the time they're tiny, but occasionally one large enough for a person, or even a town, can open and cause some trouble- I'd say the others had the misfortune of stumbling on the portals without knowing." England sighed. "It might take a while to find them."

"You can send me to my sister?" Switzerland asked from where he was finishing the maintenance on his gun (and worrying Iceland and Finland). Before England could respond, there was a chorus of people demanding to go.

"HOLD IT!" Germany shouted, getting everyone's attention. "Only some of us should go, the rest should remain here in case the first group gets into trouble."

"And we should send the people who know the missing best, there's no telling what might have happened to them while they've been there, and they might not be willing to trust anyone else."

"W'll g', m' w'fe." Sweden gently squeezed Finland's shoulder.

"Sweden and I are going for Sealand." Finland translated.

"I'm going for my brother." Canada added.

"I'rr go . . . for both China and Greece."

"I don't know about trust, but I definitely know Greece the best of any of you, even you, Japan." Turkey scowled. "Much as I hate to admit it."

" . . . I'll go for Belarus . . . Ukraine, you stay here in case of trouble, get Baltics for backup." Russia looked a little terrified at the thought of going after his slightly crazy sister.

"Be careful." Ukraine reached up to adjust his scarf.

"I'm going for Romano!" Spain declared.

"I'm going for Italy and mein bruder."

"I'll go for that jerk, I've known him since we were kids." Hungary gently put a hand on Germany's arm. "Austria . . ."

"I'll stay, in case you need back up." Austria glanced at Switzerland, who gave a short nod.

"Right, I'll go as the magic user." England nodded.

"And I shall go as well, rosbif." France winked. "I know the others just as well as any of you, after all."

"That's twelve . . . a good number." Norway absently noted.

"Right, we'll be here if you need back up." Denmark brought out his axe. "Probably should sharpen this, just in case . . ."

"Everyone who's going, gather around me, please." Hungary quickly gave Austria a peck on the cheek, before joining the group. England began chanting and the markings on the floor began to glow. The nations not going took several steps back as the glow kept getting brighter and brighter, until with a blinding flash, the other nations were gone.

"Damn it, I can't see a thing." Denmark blinked his eyes. "Hey, did it work?"

"Why the hell were you looking right at it?" Norway looked at him.

"I wanted to see what happened."

Austria ignored the two Nordics as they began to argue, staring at the now blackened marks.

"I better tell Lithuania what has happened . . ." Ukraine began to head to the stairs.

"Why didn't he come?" Austria looked at her. "He and America are good friends, are they not?"

"Poland pitched a fit." Iceland shrugged. "And I think he had some meetings that he couldn't get out of with some other countries."

"UMPH!" The group of twelve landed in a slightly undignified heap in the middle of what appeared to be a clearing.

"Get off of me!"

"KolKolKol . . ."

"France, those better not be your hands."

"I'm over here!" (Of course, France was accidentally groping someone, so it wasn't a completely unfair accusation.)

"Sorry, Switzerrand-san, those are mine."

"Thank you, Canada." Hungary smiled at the young Nation who had gotten the two them untangled from the group. "Now, let's see . . ."

It took a few minutes to get everyone untangled.

"Well, now what?"

" . . . Wasn't the spell supposed to drop us close to where the others are?"

"Yes, but the interference from earlier might mean that we missed by a bit." England sighed.

"What an unusual sight, kwit." Came a chirping voice.

"Who said that?" Switzerland glanced around.

"I did. Up here, kwit." The voice added when no one was able to pinpoint it.

"It's a talking . . . bird?" Germany blinked when he spotted where the voice came from.

"Why wouldn't I talk, kwit?" The bird tilted its head. "You're being awfully rude, you know, kwit."

"I aporogize, we've never met a tarking bird before."

"Oh, well that's different, kwit." The bird hopped to a lower branch. "I'm glad I'm not indebted to rude people, Kwit."

"Indebted?"

"Your flash of light scared off the hawk that wanted to catch me, kwit." The bird stretched out its wings. "So I will help you, you're obviously on a quest, Kwit."

"It's getting late . . . do you know a place where we can safely spend the night?" England asked, Switzerland gripped his gun tighter, but knew better than to complain- his sister was smart enough to know that she should find a safe place at night.

"Well, there's no where safe, but I do know a less dangerous place for you to spend the night . . . if the Baron lets you, kwit." The bird left its tree and landed on Germany's shoulder. "I'll lead you there so follow me, kwit." The bird took off, flying slowly, and the group followed.

"Britain . . ." Switzerland started.

"I know, but we can't do anything at night, not when we have no idea what's out there." England looked at him. "There are a lot of magical and mythical creatures, some which I have never met or even seen, that live in this realm. Until we can get more information, none of us should go off alone, especially at night."

"I know . . ." He did, but it was frustrating, being so much closer to where his sister might be, but at the same time, Switzerland knew he was no closer to finding her than before.

I have no idea where we are, or how we can get back home. Hell, I have no idea how long we've even been in this place- time seems pretty fluid here. For all I know, the days we've spent here have been no time at all in the real world. In which case, no one's noticed or even cared that we're gone.

The only consolation I have, is that He can't follow us, though that means absolutely nothing with the amount of allies and thralls He has.

If someone finds this journal, you have to understand . . . time and tide are your enemies here. Don't take your eyes off them.

- Excerpt from the Woodcarver's Journal

And there we go. This will be my first chapter fic in this fandom and it should be about 14 or 15 chapters, give or take. Updates will be really sporadic, I've got a couple projects plus school work that I'm working on . . .

If anyone has advice on how to do accents, in particular Sweden's, I'd appreciate it. As it is, I'm wary of doing accents (though I have an idea on how to do German and Russian from previous fics, as well as Japan's from fics I've read) due to the fact that sometimes, they get really distracting. I might just do only a couple accents for emphasis, and occasionally to differentiate between two speakers without doing the whole 'he said, she retorted, he replied' format. Same deal with words from different languages, as I can read/puzzle out most languages that have been written down in Romanized form, but I cannot fluently read or even speak any other language than English (I'm working on that, but I think I'm always going to be better at reading or writing a different language than speaking it).

Next up will be the Baron's Home, but first I need to know one thing: Should I continue?