entry_1

My name is Dell Conagher. My identification code ends in E-001, but that is not my name.

This log is for personal purposes, which is why I have hidden it in my essential files instead of in some outer receptacle or a notebook. If Gray were to decide I would be more useful without the memories of my human existence or got wind that I wasn't as subjugated as I pretend to be, he wouldn't think to wipe anything from these files. It's not a foolproof backup, but it's about as good as I can make it right now.

Backup files of my memories can be found at another location which I won't list here for fear of compromising myself. If my future self is processing this entry after the worst has happened, you should be able to find the files just fine with a little digging. But there are several points that you need to remember regardless of what else happens.

1. This was done to you without your consent. Gray may try to make you think he is in charge, that you've always been like this, and that it's your duty to do whatever the hell he says. Just remember, he's not, you've not, and it's not.

2. There are people out there who know what happened to you. The men you fight out on the field? You used to be one of those guys. You managed to get through to them just after your conversion. They might not know you're still yourself though; Gray found the letter and only let you send it because he thought it might dishearten them. Or maybe he just thought it was funny. Either way, you couldn't ask for their assistance.

3. You are alone. Those guys I mentioned have every reason to hate your guts. Their employer most likely wants you dead. And the law will not support you on any counts as you should be in prison. If there's a way to bring down Gray somehow then take it, but don't be expecting any future you face to be real bright.

If you're still kind of incredulous about this, future self, take into account that you are the sole robot Engineer, or were at the time of me writing this letter. More importantly remember that unlike the robots you help to construct and maintain, you are reuploaded into a new body whenever the current one is destroyed, much like the respawn system of the mercenaries Mann Co. has hired. Whether you believe me or not, you can't deny that you're different from the other machines.

Don't know if I'll keep this log up or not. It's kind of depressing to think about what I used to be, and there's not a whole lot happening in the present that's worth recording. Gray doesn't push his luck trying to gloat over me or anything. The other robots provide about as good company as a pack of talkative pet rocks. All I do all day is mechanical repairs, manning the assembly lines, and the occasional attack on a Mann Co. building.

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