Chapter 10

Am I Falling into Madness?

Thinking/Dreams

Alternate Voices

Speaking

I opened my eyes and looked back over at the crow. It tilted its head to the side a bit as if it were confused and I reached out to stroke it again. I felt so alone I just wanted someone to hold. The crow cawed softly and hopped off the pillow and hopped over to me before crawling up to lay on my stomach. It rested its head between my breasts and just stared down at me. I slowly pet it and it let out a contented sigh almost as if it loved the attention. I didn't really seem to mind the fact that I was being covered in the sticky tar it was dripping from its body.

"What exactly are you?" I whispered and the crow made a soft chattering sound almost as if it were talking. I shook my head a bit with a sad smile and continued to slowly pet it. The crow huffed almost as if it realized that I couldn't understand it and it nuzzled against my breasts getting comfortable. The crow was so warm I rapidly found myself drifting off to sleep as I relaxed back against the pillows.

I was sitting on top of an old brick apartment building staring out at the Gotham skyline. The sun was just setting and I wondered how I'd gotten up onto the roof as my feet dangled over the edge into the open air. I heard a soft whirring sound almost like a wind up toy that was running down. I turned to look and saw a wooden toy crow hopping around a few broken dolls. The dolls were lying in a pool of red and shards of porcelain were still rocking softly as if they'd just been broken.

The crow was hopping around the broken pieces and getting covered in the blood of the dolls and I wondered if it had broken them. I reached out to grab the crow when a cold shadow cast itself over me and I froze. I wanted to see who was behind me but I was almost too afraid to look. I could hear a crunching noise almost as if someone were walking through straw. I felt a warm breath on my neck and some type of scratchy material against my ear.

"Who are you?" My voice was timid and it took me a moment to get my thoughts together to speak.

"You know who I am." The voice was almost a growl but it was masculine and dark. It sent shivers up and down my spine but not in a bad way. I wanted to hear him talk some more as I was already missing the sound of his voice.

"Are you the crow?" I looked down at the toy crow that was still slowly hopping around in the blood splashing it with each movement.

"In a way. I'm not a crow but I was made to bring fear into their hearts." I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to look at it. The fingers were longer then a humans and ended in sharp almost taloned fingers. There was dried blood on his hands and his talons almost looked like they were caked in tar. His grip was strong but he didn't seem to be trying to hurt me.

"You're Scarecrow." It hit me like a ton of bricks and I felt my heart drop down past my stomach. I looked away from his hand and back out at the skyline before me.

"That I am little one, now tell me what do you fear?" I felt something slimy and hot drag across the side of my face and my vision tinted red again. I could feel the blood dripping from my eyes and he seemed to tense up. He growled softly and his hand moved from my shoulder to cup my cheek gently as that slimy feeling caressed my cheek licking the blood from my flesh.

"My eyes keep bleeding…am I going to die?" Something cold gripped my heart and squeezed it until I couldn't breathe. I whimpered and two arms wrapped around me and a warm chest pressed up against my back. I felt his chin rest on the top of my head and he seemed to be growling softly deep in his chest. I could feel the vibrations softly moving throughout my body.

"Perhaps. I wasn't as gentle as I wanted to be when I crawled into your flesh and claimed your mind." His taloned fingers stroked my cheek softly and I could feel the soft scraping they made against my flesh. "Tell me, why do you keep dreaming of the dolls?"

"I don't know, I've been dreaming of them ever since I was a little girl." I looked back over at the broken dolls and I saw that the toy crow had fallen onto its side and was slowly kicking almost as if it were dying. I tried to reach for it but Scarecrow held me firm in his grip and I just couldn't reach.

"Why do you want to pick the crow up so badly? It's time is almost at an end." He sounded curious but I kept trying to reach the crow with a sense of urgency rising in my mind.

"I…I don't want it to leave. If it does then I'll be alone." My vision was red once more as my bloody tears freely fell down my cheeks. Scarecrow grabbed my hand and pulled it back against me as the crow's movements slowed down to the point it was almost still.

"You're afraid of being alone?" His voice was cold and sent shivers up and down my spine. I nodded and something grabbed my heart to the point it hurt to breathe and each beat seemed to send pain throughout my body.

"Yes…I don't want to be alone…please don't…please don't leave me alone." I was struggling against his grip needing to pick up the crow and make it move again. My eyes were having a hard time staying open as the tears flowed freely and stained my skin. Scarecrow held me in an almost crushing grip before I felt a sharp pain in my chest. I looked down and his taloned fingers had pierced my flesh from the force of his grip.

"I'll give you the crow and let it live if you promise me one thing. One. Little. Thing." His breath was hot against my ear and I let out a pained whimper as his taloned fingers dug deeper into the skin of my chest.

"What do you want?" I almost felt as if I were about to sell my soul to the devil as the world around me started to shift and I could hear the screaming start to pick up softly on the wind.

"I want you to be mine…forever." I felt something sharp against my neck scraping softly almost as if it were wearing away at my skin.

"Forever? What...what if you get tired of me?" I bit my lip starting to feel hopeless and depressed. Why would anyone want to be with me let alone forever? I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.

"You are mine. I would never get tired of my future queen. Look around, this world is what waits for you. My world, our world." His grip was like steel and I felt blood running down my cheeks and chest as I looked back out at the skyline. The sky was tinted red and there were bodies in the streets for as far as my eyes could see. I could hear screams and wails of pain on the wind as if thousands of people were being tortured. I squeezed my eyes shut not wanting to see anymore.

"What kind of world is this?" My voice sounded panicked and he grabbed my chin tightly in his hand. I could feel my skin bruising from the force of his grip.

"This is our world, the world as it should be. Through Jonathan I will make this world a reality and then you will walk side by side with me. No one will be able to stop us." He hissed in my ear and shook my head a bit forcing my eyes to open and stare at the hellish scene before me. I couldn't take it anymore and thrashed free from his grasp. I grabbed the crow and tried to run back to the safety of the building but slipped on the edge. My eyes widened as I fell over the edge and into the open air below. I let out a shriek before I abruptly stopped falling. A sharp pain erupted from my right wrist and I looked up to see Scarecrow holding onto my arm keeping me from falling.

My gaze moved from his hand up his impossibly long arms. I was almost afraid to look at him but his face was covered by the brim of his large straw hat. I could just make out his burlap chin and some straw like hair peeking out from under the brim. He had a frayed noose wrapped around his neck and his shirt was tattered and covered in dried blood. His skin looked pale and bloodless from what I could see peeking through the holes in his shirt. He slowly started pulling me up until I was sitting back on the edge of the building. I clutched the toy crow to my chest and shook from fear and pain.

He sat next to me on the ledge and I saw his long slender legs for the first time. He had a pair of ratty brown slacks on and I could see hay and tar dripping out of the various holes and tears in the fabric. He had scuffed brown leather shoes on which were stained with blood and tar. I dragged my eyes back up his body and my curiosity outweighed my fear as I reached out to raise the brim of his hat to see his face. Inch by inch I raised it until I could see his mouth which was full of sharp blackened teeth. He seemed to have an inhumanly wide mouth and it was fixed into a smirk as if he wanted me to keep looking. He had black thread stitched across his mouth and it looked as if it had been cut freeing him to speak.

I raised the hat a little higher and saw what looked like a nose straining against the burlap as if it were a mask covering his face and not his skin. The burlap surrounding his eyes was damp with fresh tar and seemed to draw in the light and leave his eyes in shadow. I couldn't see any whites in his eyes just a watery blackness almost as if it they were filled with black ichor. It looked as if the burlap had been half hazardly cut to free his eyes to see and I could see dark eyebrows peeking out from under the fabric and a bit of pale skin. His hair was made of straw and scratched against my hand as I stroked it. He closed his eyes and let out a pleasured growl.

"Scarecrow what exactly are you?" I cautiously stroked his cheek feeling the hot tar against my fingers. It burned but I didn't pull my hand away. He grinned big showing me his sharpened teeth again before he spoke.

"I'm the man from your darkest nightmares here to claim what's rightfully mine." He chuckled and lightly nipped at my fingers. His eyes seemed to bore right into mine as he leaned close until his burlap nose touched mine. "Time to wake up, I don't want to leave you helpless for too long. Just remember, no one can touch you like Scarecrow can." He leaned even closer and pressed his burlap lips to mine and it felt as if I were falling.

My eyes snapped open and I looked around the room shivering with a feeling of dread nestled in my chest. I looked over and the crow was lying on its side in the bed in a pool of black ichor. I reached over and stroked its side afraid that it wasn't alive any longer. It seemed to move as if it were struggling through quicksand. It managed to get to its feet and it crawled over to my side crawling back up to nuzzle against my chest. It sighed as I gently placed my hand over it hugging it to my body.

"Are you alright?" My throat felt raw as if I'd been screaming for hours. The crow looked down at me and blinked before nodding slowly.

"Are you…are you a part of Scarecrow?" The black tar dripping off of the crow reminded me of Scarecrows black eyes. The crow dropped its head between my breasts and just stared at me. I didn't think it was going to acknowledge my question after several silent moments. It finally nipped at my skin to get my attention and nodded. I wondered why it took it so long to respond but it seemed exhausted. I softly stroked its tarry feathers and it let out a quiet caw before it wheezed and closed its eyes.

I softly stroked the crow as it seemed to be unconscious but breathing steadily. I didn't feel so alone with it here and I hoped that I hadn't hurt it by forcing it to stay with me. I bit my lip remembering what Scarecrow wanted from me in exchange for keeping me company. Would he really want to keep me forever? I didn't want to fall asleep so I gently sat up and piled the pillows behind me before leaning back against them. The crow didn't even stir as I moved around.

I nearly jumped when the door swung open and a shady looking man walked in carrying what looked like an old fashioned doctor's bag. His eyes seemed to raze across my body and he licked his pale lips before setting the bag on the edge of the bed. The crow was lying across my lap but it was out for the count and I wished that it was awake as I didn't want to be alone with this man.

"Which ankle did you hurt?" He placed his hand on my knee and squeezed it gently making me very uncomfortable.

"My right ankle. I just think I twisted it." My throat still felt raw and the man pulled my shoe off and pulled my pants up to expose my ankle. He slid my sock off and started probing at my skin making me wince and hiss in pain.

"It's more then twisted you've dislocated it. This is going to hurt." He said before he did something to make it crack and pop back into place. I felt like I needed to vomit and the world spun around me. I whimpered trying not to pass out as I started to hyperventilate from the pain. He pulled what looked like a metal brace from the bag and bent it into an L shape before sliding it up to press against the back of my ankle and the bottom of my foot. He held it in place as he wrapped bandages tightly around my ankle. He then pulled what looked like ice packs from his bag and squeezed them until I heard a loud crack from inside. He gave them a quick shake then pressed them against either side of my ankle and holding them in place with some loose ace bandages.

Once he'd finished I noticed that his hand was sliding up my leg and his eyes were dark and held something behind them that I didn't like. I tried to pull my leg away but he grabbed my ankle and squeezed it tightly in his hand. I cried out in pain and tried to kick him but he grabbed me by my neck and squeezed until I was gasping for air.

"Don't go screaming just yet little lady. Let the doctor have his fun first, Joker isn't paying me for this so I'm going to take whatever I can get." He grinned and tried to kiss me. I punched him in the face as hard as I could making him let me go and hold his now bleeding and broken nose. I scrambled across the bed dropping the crow onto the sheets where it groggily woke up and wiggled around confused. I whimpered in fear and tried to climb out the other side but the doctor pounced on my back and tried to pull my clothes off my frame.

I screamed and flailed around and the crow woke up fully and let out a loud hissing noise before I jumped on the man's back and pecked at his skin. The man cried out and rolled off me holding his neck as if something had bitten him. I got off the bed and limped over to the nightstand ripping the drawer open looking for something, anything that I could use to defend myself. I gasped when I grabbed onto something sharp and felt my hand slice open and begin bleeding freely. I pulled my hand out and saw a knife lying under some papers and I grabbed it. I held it against my side as the man rubbed his neck and glared at me.

"I said play nice bitch this doesn't have to be painful for you unless you fight me." He ran around the bed and tried to grab me. I tried to jump out of his grasp but he grabbed my shoulder and slammed me into the wall hard knocking the breath out of my lungs and making me wheeze. He slammed his lips onto mine and I wanted to vomit. I brought up the knife and stabbed him in the hip making him pull away and punch me. My vision blurred and I heard the crow start cawing madly and hissing loud enough to make my ears ring.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I managed to hiss before he lunged at me again. I started slashing at him with the knife cutting his hands and his chest. He tried to grab it from my grasp but I kneed him in the balls and slashed again. I was choking and covered in something hot and sticky as his body pinned me against the wall. He made a wet gurgling noise and my eyes burned as blood sprayed into them. I gagged tasting blood in my mouth and his body slowly slid down my own covering me head to toe in his lifeblood. I was shaking as I pressed myself up against the wall clutching the knife tightly in my hands.

My legs were shaking and I rubbed the blood from my eyes before I felt them start to tear up. I had just killed a man. My hand was shaking as I stepped over his body and nearly fell flat on my face from the pain in my leg. I whimpered and braced myself against the bed as I started limping towards the bathroom. I needed to get this blood off me…I…I just needed to get it off. I made it a few steps away from the bed before I collapsed and curled up into a ball. I started shaking and I heard something hit the ground with a wet thud. I whimpered as I watched the crow drag itself over to me before nipping at my arm. I sat up and it crawled onto my lap before trying to drag itself up to my shoulder. With shaky hands I lifted it up and placed it on my left shoulder and it nuzzled against my neck making calming noises as if it were trying to soothe me.

"Crow…I…I just killed a man." I whimpered and it cawed softly and nipped at my chin. Its tar mixed with the blood on me and I scooted back up against the wall and shook. I felt cold and the world was spinning around me. I started crying again and my body felt sticky and dirty from all the blood making my clothes stick to my skin. The weight of crow on my shoulder was comforting and I closed my eyes and tried to breathe.

I don't know how long I sat on the floor just shaking and whimpering. I didn't know how to feel; I know that if I hadn't defended myself that he would have raped me. I kept trying to tell myself that it was self defense and that everything would be okay. The crow continued to nuzzle against me and making soothing noises and soon I was just staring blankly at my feet. I was numb. My limbs felt heavy and my hands slipped off my lap and onto the floor. I still loosely clutched the knife in my hands but I couldn't grip it even if I tried. All too soon I heard footsteps walking towards the room and the door opened again.

"Little red?" Joker's voice sounded strange and he quickly moved around the room until he found me. He kneeled down at my side and I felt his hands at the side of my neck. He sighed in relief when he realized that I was still alive. Taking my chin in his hand he turned me to face him and it took everything I had to just blink. His face swam into focus for a moment and I looked into his red eyes before the world began to blur again.

"I'd ask you what happened but judging by your torn clothes I can already guess what it was. I knew that leaving knives around my room was a good idea." He said softly as he pulled the knife from my hand and slipped it into his pocket. "Come on now let's get your cleaned up so I can see what all he did to you."

He picked me up and I hung limply in his arms like a broken doll. The crow clung tightly to my shoulder as he carried me into the bathroom and set me down in the tub. He pulled the bandages off my foot and started pulling my clothes off making the crow hiss in annoyance. He of course didn't even acknowledge the crow's existence as he finished stripping the ruined clothes from my body. He tilted my head up and looked into my eyes again.

"First kill huh? Don't worry you're just in shock but Papa J will take good care of you." He started running warm water into the tub before plugging it up and moving away to grab some things. The crow climbed up my naked flesh leaving small scratches where it gripped until it was perched on the side of the tub and away from the water. Joker stopped the flow of water just as it submerged me up to my breasts and I managed to look over at him. He'd stripped down to just his pants and his pale skin seemed to shine in the light.

He dragged a soft cloth over my skin gently washing the blood off me. He gently scrubbed my face clean and frowned when he saw the bruises on my neck that the doctor had left behind. He gently ran his fingers over the bruises before wringing out the cloth and gently scrubbing my face clean.

"If he weren't dead I'd kill him myself." He muttered and started washing the blood from my hair. The water was a deep red and he pulled the plug draining it before refilling the tub and washing me again. He didn't stop until the water stayed clear and I was scrubbed almost raw. I didn't know I was crying again until he put his hand on my cheek and his thumb softly brushed them away.

"Aww now don't you cry. Joker will make everything better and make damn sure that this never happens again." He lightly ghosted his hand over the bruises on my neck and body. The crow hissed softly and flapped its wings as if trying to scare him off. Joker tilted my face towards his and pressed his lips to mine harshly. He kissed me roughly and I could taste blood on my tongue. He pulled away and I could see his makeup smudged and running a bit. He licked his scars and kissed my forehead before rubbing my cheek gently again.

"Just relax in here for a bit doll. I'm going to go get rid of the body and clean up the room. Well we're probably going to have to sleep in the guest room until the blood dries but don't worry. I'll take good care of you." He stood up and stared down at my body through the water and I could see his arousal through his pants as he shifted and walked back out into the room. I heard a splash and slowly looked over seeing the crow struggling to swim next to me. I lifted my knee until it was almost above the water and helped the crow perch on it.

The crow leered at my naked form before opening its wings and shaking the water off its body like a dog. Small flecks of tar covered my chest and the sides of the tub by the time it was finished. It huffed and flapped its wings before settling down.

"Don't you like baths Crow?" My voice sounded far away and tired. The crow tilted its head to the side before shaking a very definite 'no' my way. I tried to smile but I still felt numb. "Aww come now Crow I thought you'd love to be in a bath with me." I tried teasing it and the crow made an odd noise in the back of its throat as it looked me up and down. It was almost as if it were a man trapped in a crow's body. I reached up and gently scratched it under its beak and it let out a pleasured hiss. "I almost wish you had your body and were curled up in the bath with me." I mumbled to myself and the crow nipped at my fingers before sighing. It seemed to sulk a bit and I wondered if he was wishing the same thing.