Rent-A-Life
"Edward, I'd like you to meet Martha's daughter Sarah," Esme introduced her single son to one of her good friend's daughters.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, if you'll excuse me I have a call I need to take," Edward quickly fled the dinner party he now knows was another attempt from his mother to set him up with another eligible young woman. He knew that Sharon or Sarah whatever the young woman's name was, she was most likely a wonderful person. However Edward was not in the market for dating. Edward was in the market for his career, his friends and most of all his love of the outdoors. He did not want to date right now. He was not ready to settle down and get married and fulfill his mother's dreams of the perfect nuclear family.
"You didn't have to be so rude, you didn't give the poor girl a chance to even respond," Edward's Brother Emmett the golden child in his parent's eye was your average all American. Emmett was the high school football coach at Forks High School and also worked part time as a personal trainer for extra money. He was happy with his suburban house, his blonde wife and his two point five kids. Esme and Carlisle Cullen were constantly trying to push Edward towards the nuclear life that his brother had chosen.
"I don't have time for this Em, you knew she was coming, why didn't you warn me at least then I could have been prepared or had an out instead of just fleeing?" Edward responds to his brother.
"I didn't have a hand in this one I was more surprised than you I swear," Emmett couldn't keep the booming laugh that erupted from his mouth.
"It's not that fucking funny" Edward declared glaring at his brother.
"No it's not that I was just thinking of something," Edward glared at his brother and threw his arms up in the air gesturing for his brother to share his hysterical thoughts.
"Never mind it's dumb sorry, sorry so you want to grab a bear or head to the diner for some pie" Emmett asked.
"A beer sounds great about now, what'd you tell mom?" Edward asked.
"I didn't have to make up an excuse I just told her I was going to smooth things over with you. She knew she was wrong for setting you up again and putting that poor girl through one of your evenings. I don't think Sarah was impressed with you anyway." Again Emmett let out a belly shaking laugh.
"What is so fucking funny now? I think Rose should have you committed the voices in your head are getting to you" Edward snarled at his brother.
"It's a dumb idea but I was thinking you should just hire some chick to pretend to date you for family shit and dinner so mom will get off your back." Emmett laughed again hitting his knee and turning red.
Edward on the other hand didn't find it quite as funny as his brother did. He took a moment to sit back and give his brother's idea some serious thought. As the two brothers drove to the diner in search of pie and beer Emmett jabbered on about his kids and their numerous accomplishments or funny things they said. Edward absorbed all of the information and smiled when it was appropriate and asked the questions any doting uncle would ask. He loved his nieces and nephews immensely; he just had no desire to have any of his own. Sure he could babysit and change a diaper or two on occasion but the nuclear life wasn't for him. He thought himself too much of a workaholic or selfish man to consider placing the wants and needs of a wife and kids before his own. But the thought of his mother setting him up with another dreadful single woman brought his mind back to Emmett's ridiculous idea of paying a woman to pretend to be his girlfriend in order to stifle his mother's matchmaking.
"How much would you pay someone for something like that? Would it be a salary thing or on an ad needed basis like per date?" Edward asked Emmett once they settled in their booth of the town diner.
"Wait what? Are you seriously going to do it?" Emmett asked.
"I don't know, I'm not sure yet I need more information. Where would I even find someone that I would even remotely consider bringing home to mom and what kind of woman would agree to do that sort of thing. I can't possible bring a hooker home especially around the kids." "You are on the wrong side of town if you're looking for Hookers," the waitress said as she smiled brightly at Emmett and set down their menus. Edward nearly choked on the air in his lungs as he glanced up to the woman now engaging in a casual conversation with his brother.
"Ed's not looking for sex he can get that anywhere, it's a Cullen curse being hounded by countless women trying to challenge our stamina" Emmett laughed when the waitress swatted his arm and joined in his laughter.
"Yes you Cullen men did have quite a reputation in high school I hear Rose has you on lock and key now so it's all up to the little Tony here to carry on the torch," the waitress winked at the men as she stepped away to get their pie and beer.
"Who the hell was that?" Edward asked his still amused brother watching the waitress' rear as it disappeared behind the diner counter.
"Bella Swan the chief's daughter, you remember her she was your Bio partner junior year," Edward thought back to high school and he remembered her. She was a nice kid back then and Edward was more than surprised when after only three months of school she had to start missing school and her stomach started growing. She was the talk of the town for a few months. The town was in a stir trying to figure out why the Chief's daughter moved back to Forks after living with her mother since her parent's divorce. It was clear the girl got pregnant and her mother sent her to live with her father. Though in high school Bella didn't seem the type of girl who would go out and party and get pregnant. She was a bookworm and kept to herself. Edward remembered feeling sorry for her once her baby was born. He never saw her at any parties or football games. He knew that she worked at Mike Newton's dad's sporting goods store. Other than that she was home with her baby. Edward remembered their graduation day where Bella walked across the stage he looked in the audience to the Chief holding up a small boy with brown hair clapping his hands wildly. The kid couldn't have been more than a year or so old. After graduating and going off to college Edward never gave the girl another thought or her son. He assumed she continued on with her life and found a nuclear life much like the rest of the town of Forks.
"She just moved back in with the Chief when he went on medical leave. Dad doesn't seem too hopeful, they are organizing some charity even at the station to help pay for the medical bills." Emmett cut through Edward's thoughts.
"Who's sick?" Edward asked not following the conversation.
"The Chief of police, he is out on medical leave with lung cancer or something," Emmett responded.
"Here you go guys. Let me know if you need anything else. It's good to see you again Tony, I'm sure the hospital is happy to have another Dr. Cullen." Bella gave Emmett a bright smile and turned a shy smile to Edward before turning away.
"Edward, its Edward now, no more Tony." Edward spoke loudly.
"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know. I guess we all have to grow up sooner or later," Bella smiled again and turned away.
"Its fine, some of us grew up a lot quicker than others." Edward knew as soon as the words were out of his mouth that she would assume he was referring to her teenage pregnancy and not his brother's childish behavior.
"Dude that was fucking rude," Emmett kicked Edward in the shin under the table.
"I didn't mean it like that, shit," Edward mumbled taking a bite of his pie. He took a chance and glanced towards the counter where Bella was filling a customer's coffee cup behind the counter. She looked sad. Edward felt like a complete dick for his comment. He vowed to give her a big tip to ease his conscience.
"I think you should ask Bella to be your renta-date" Emmett blurted out through a mouth full of pie.
"What that's ridiculous, she must think I'm an ass and besides she has a kid" Edward squashed the idea immediately.
"There is always Lauren Mallory, I think she just got divorced, something about a tennis coach and some misplaced balls or something," Emmett was known around town for knowing everyone's business. Whether it was from his wife or his mother Emmett always knew who was with who and who was and wasn't faithful.
"Absolutely not, she almost bit my dick off senior year after homecoming," Emmett had pie flying from his mouth across the table at Edwards's remark.
"Gross, shit . . . Em close your mouth when you eat," Edward whipped bits of pie from his side of the table.
"I'm going to go ask her, I'll be right back," Emmett scooted his large six foot seven inch frame from the table and strode across the diner in search of a particular waitress.
"Em … Em … shit," Edward whispered and mumbled as his brother was across the diner in a few seconds. He watched curiously as Emmett made small talk with the waitress at the counter and waited for Bella to return from the kitchen. He cringed when after a few moments of talking with Emmett, Bella's head jerked in the direction of Edward. The look of shock and amusement on her face only made Edward feel more ridiculous.
Emmett returned after a short conversation grinning from ear to ear. Edward watched his brother return to the table. Emmett was grinning from ear to ear looking mischievous. Edward groaned loudly and sunk his long body into the booth regretting immediately trying to discuss anything remotely embarrassing in front of his brother. He should have known better than to include Emmett were he to seriously consider hiring a woman to pretend to date him to get his mother off his back.
"Two hundred an event and nothing physical, you have to pay for all of the dates and if she needs special attire you have to pay for it," Emmett slid into his seat across from Edward. His pie was gone in one quick bite and he chugged his beer.
"I got to go man Rose is going to be back from the Y with the kids in an hour and I still have to take out the trash," Emmett slid a piece of paper across the table to Edward who was sitting there with his mouth hanging open staring dumfounded at his brother.
"Wh-What did you do?" Edward shuddered out.
"Here it's her phone number, what do you think? I asked her if she would pretend to date you if you paid her." Emmett patted his brother on the shoulder and left the diner. Edward did take into account that his brother left him with the bill which wasn't a big deal; it was the fact that he left Edward there to fix this fiasco.
"Would you like another piece of pie Edward?" Bella asked shyly.
"No, do you have a minute?" Edward asked knowing he was going to have to find a way out of this.
"Umm, I get off in a half hour; I don't really have time right this minute to chat." Bella was busy cleaning up and filling salt shakers. She was nervous standing there talking to her grown up crush. Bella knew from the moment she sat next to him in Biology class junior year that he was special. She was new to town and he made her feel welcome. He smiled at her and showed her where her classes were. She felt shy and scared coming to a new school and trying to make new friends. She knew that no matter what she did or how many friends she made that eventually everyone would find out that she was no longer the sweet innocent daughter of the beloved Chief of police. She was a statistic, a teenage girl who ruined her life by letting some boy use her body. She held her head high and went on with her life as her belly grew. Bella didn't listen to the gossip and snickers from the girls and boys at school. Forks is a small town and gossip traveled fast. All she cared about was the baby boy growing inside of her and trying her best not to bring anymore shame to her father in his beloved safe small town. Bella's father Charlie did his best for his daughter. She had to work afterschool until the baby was born to save up money for everything that she would need. The Chief of police didn't make much money but it was enough to live comfortably. Now Bella was an adult with a soon to be 10 year old son who was the spitting image of her father. Charlie, Bella and her son all shared the same brown hair and deep brown eyes. There was no trace of the boy's father in him that Bella could see, or maybe she just didn't want to think of him at all.
"I'll wait outside if you have a few minutes to clear some things up," Edward asked as he paid his bill on the way out.
Bella was behind the counter and handed him his change. "Give me five minutes and I'll be right there."
Five minutes later Bella exited the diner and walked towards her red truck parked across the lot. She glanced from side to side cautiously not sure if Edward had waited to chat with her. She couldn't wait to hear what he had to say about his brother's proposition. It caught her off guard when the bear like Cullen came up to her to ask if she was for rent. She knew that Emmett Cullen was an oversize child and that he was harmless. After hearing his tale of woe about his mother and brother Bella couldn't help but laugh. She didn't understand why Edward simply didn't tell his mother that he was happy single and didn't want to be set up anymore.
Edward jogged over to Bella's truck from his shiny silver Volvo that was parked closer to the entrance. When he got closer to her he became more nervous. He was still not sure how to approach the subject of terminating whatever agreement Emmett had made with this woman. Edward nearly stumbled mid stride when his phone blared Boyz II Men's song Momma through his pocket. He knew it was his mother and groaned when he reach in his trousers to retrieve the modern day leash. Bella spun around a mere two feet from Edward as he held up his finger for her to hold on a moment while he took his phone call.
"Mother," was his response to the light screen pressed against his face.
"Edward, is everything okay? Are you mad with me? Please don't be mad with me sweetheart I only want to see you happy. I know I was a bit presumptuous in inviting Sarah over and maybe after giving it some more thought she might not have been the best choice. I hope you will still come to my Home and Garden's party. It would crush me if you weren't there. You know how long I've worked to get my garden featured and I just couldn't bare it if one of my children was missing from my photo." Esme Cullen knew how to pull at her son's heart strings. She knew how to strike and strike she did. The woman appeared to be a mother hen and a doting grandmother but deep down Edward knew better. He had seen sides of his mother that no child should see. She was ruthless when there was something she wanted. And currently for the past five months what she wanted was Edward settled in a relationship with a nice young woman and on his way to the nuclear life.
"Mom its fine I'm not mad, she just wasn't my type," lies they were all lies he spit out to his mother about the nice woman he had just fled from at dinner. He glanced up at a waiting Bella as she tapped her foot on the asphalt of the parking lot with her hands on her hips. Edward rolled his eyes at the young waitress and turned to finish his call.
"Mom I'll be there you know I wouldn't miss it. I'm so proud of you and your garden. I know how hard you've worked and I can't wait to hang up and autographed copy in my office for all my patients to see. But please not more set ups," He took a quick glance over his shoulder at Bella who was much prettier than he remembered her from high school. She had long dark rich hair. It reminded him of a chocolate and caramel fountain the wait if swayed in the wind. Her cheeks were flush from the cool moist air and her eyes were large and molten. His eyes locked with hers and he felt the heat from them as she glared at him insisting he hurry up she had things to do.
"Mom just let me find my own date ok. I just started seeing someone and I will bring her to your party," Edward saw Bella's eyebrows lift up in shock at his response.
"Oh! I didn't know you were seeing someone. If I had known I would never have set you up with Sarah oh Edward I'm so happy for you. What's her name? Where does she work? How old is she? When do I . . ." Edward interrupted his mother's incessant questions already regretting his next conversation.
"Mom I have to go I love you. I will call you tomorrow," Edward ended the call after a quick I love you from his mother. He turned and started walking towards Bella with determination to get this over with.
"What exactly do I get for two hundred dollars?" Edward felt ridiculous asking her this. He sounded like he was negotiating with a pimp. If he thought about it technically Emmett was her pimp.
"Emmett said you just needed someone go with you to a few family events that were coming up. I didn't know I was going to have to give you anything. I'm not sure about this. I'm sure you can find someone else who is a little more um … experienced with this kind of thing you know," Bella's voice was soft and nervous. Edward felt like an ass already. He knew she was sweet and innocent in high school and clearly having a baby at 16 hadn't changed her shyness. It was odd that she was so nervous with him yet less than an hour before she was joking and smiling with Emmett. Once again Edward was reminded of the differences in his personality and his brother's. Edward was the intimidating one with his tall stature and serious eyes where Emmett was actually taller yet exuded the warmth of an overgrown teddy bear that everyone embraced.
"Pretty much it's just that this is a little more believable than an escort or a hooker. We went to school together and it's a little more believable," His voice was firm and to the point. He felt a twinge of regret at comparing her to an escort and hooker. Edward saw on her face that she also took offense to those words.
"I'm not asking for sex or anything like that just in public we don't have to spend any along time together or anything. I won't intrude on your life".
"Well I should hope not I'm not sure who you think I was or am but I don't just go around sleeping with men especially ones who are paying me," Bella's voice was stronger and full of conviction, it sounded motherly almost. Edward felt a twitch in his gut like his mother was scolding him. He immediately felt for her son if he were to ever misbehave.
"So we have an understanding then, two hundred dollars per date and no sex, no alone stuff just public events," Edward offered Bella his hand to seal the deal.
"And no one knows. I don't want this getting around to my son. As far as anyone other than the two of us and Emmett are concerned we just started dating, it's casual not serious", Bella clarified.
"Agreed," Edward shook her hand firmly noticing how cold her tiny hands were, he felt bad for keeping her waiting out here in the cold.
"Wait what if one of us actually meets someone they want to date for real?" Bella asked concerned.
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. We could always just break up I guess" Edward didn't like the idea of her dating anyone. He did forget to ask if she currently had a boyfriend or husband. Her finger was bare of any trace of commitment. Emmett must have clarified all of this earlier.
"Do I get a severance package when we break up?" Bella asked jokingly.
"Let's see how well of an actor you are first," Edward gave her his panty soaking grin and the classic Cullen wink. He noticed her lips part and her hand tremble against his side. Yup, he still had it, he hadn't tried to flirt with a woman since college, and usually they just flocked to him. "Is this your e-mail address?"
"Y-Yes," Bella croaked out clearly affected by his grin and wink.
"I'll e-mail you the dates that are coming up. Thank again and mum's the word," Edward turned and jogged off to his car. It appeared that Edward now had a renta-girlfriend.