This story includes death, child abuse, and self-harm, so proceed with caution. (I promise I'm not a horribly tortured person, just my writings are.)

Everyone looks at me and thinks "James Diamond, pretty boy of Hollywood. He's so carefree he must have grown up with a silver spoon in his mouth." Of course, this is what I want them to see. It's the illusion that I have built so well for so many years that not even Carlos, Logan, and Kendall – my three best friends – know the secrets it hides. To the world, I was just a teenager, a Hollywood Party King of Hollywood, "The Face" of Big Time Rush. No… no one knew of my past's darkness…

But I'm tired of keeping up the façade. It's getting harder to keep things from everybody. My friends know something is up – they have known me for years, and I'm getting clumsy and keeping everything hidden when we're in the privacy of our apartment 2J. And then there's the media; trying so hard to pry into every aspect of our lives. Well, now I'm tired of hiding. I'm ready to let the world know my deepest secret…

Okay, so this is just a prologue thing to figure out how many of you are interested. Although considering the small word count, I'm assuming no one is going to look at it yet, so I'll post the first chapter later today. Let me know what you think! (Oh and I don't own BTR).

~ Nikki