A/N: Just a quick, tragic Shizaya I wrote the other day. Posted it on my Izaya Orihara Facebook account, decided to out it on here. R&R! I just might make a part two!

I had always wondered what made him hate me. What did I do to him? I didn't even say two words to the guy at first; I only spoke to him after he said that I pissed him off. What was it about me that pissed him off, though? Was it the fact that I didn't wear the standard school uniform? Was it my taunting smirk? Or, maybe it was my eyes. If you were to ask anyone at our old high school, they would all agree that my eyes were frightening; they were crimson red, after all. (The only one who didn't hate them was Shinra; he was simply /infatuated/ with them.) Maybe he just had an instinct... Shizuo probably knew that I was bad news from the beginning. I mean, my body language, I admit, screamed that I... In ones eyes... Could be some sort of criminal. I had been sitting down on the bench outside, one foot on the ledge, and one leg dangling down. My shoulders were slightly slumped, and I was a bit hunched over.

A lot of people believed that I was up to no good. And I wasn't. I'm still not.

I don't know what made him hate me; I really don't think I ever will. But, I don't hate him. How could I? Shizuo Heiwajima was simply beautiful... His dyed blonde hair framed his face perfectly, and while he was the strongest male in Ikebukoru, he didn't look buff; he was skinny, and really tall. And he looked incredibly gorgeous in that bartender getup that his brother got him a year back. And, while I claim to hate him, and while I claim with my life that he is a monster, I know this is not true. How could I ever hate someone as perfect as Shizuo?

But I know I should give up on him. He hates me, and there is nothing I can do to change that. Even after the times we've spent alone in each others arms, sharing steamy kisses, ripping each others clothes off, he still tells me that he hates me, that he will kill me, and that the sex we had meant nothing to him. I lied through my teeth, telling him that I agreed, and then kicked him out of my house.

No. Every time he has said that to me, every time he leaves me in my bed all alone, my heart breaks a little more. I couldn't keep living that way. I needed to tell him that I loved him with all of my heart. I loved him like I could never love a human. I was simply infatuated with him.

I knew where he would be around seven. He would be on his way back from work, smoking, cursing at all of the idiots that he had to deal with on an almost daily basis. This would be the only time I would be able to approach him without others being around him. So, what did I do? I grabbed my jacket and cellphone, walking out of my house. I wasn't skipping like I normally did. In fact, I was nearly running, afraid that if I didn't get to him soon, he would already be gone. When I got to the corner of his street, I saw him.

And, automatically, my heart broke to a million pieces.

He had some brown haired girl pressed against the wall, kissing her gently like he had never done to me, his arms wrapped around her waist so light that it almost seemed as if he were afraid to break her. Her arms were loose around his neck, and she was pulling him closer.

I couldn't tell him. I couldn't.

Tears welled in my eyes, and I let out a strange sound from the back of my throat as I tried to hold back a sob. I couldn't tell him...! I turned around and just started running. I didn't know where to, but I just ran. I needed to get away, I needed to get that image out of my mind.

I ran back home, pulled my hood over my head, and let the tears slide out of my eyes and down my face. "Damnit!" I cursed under my breath before taking in a shaky breath. I pushed the door open to my apartment, looking around quickly. I grabbed the camera I had stored, then ran to my safe in my bedroom. Opening it, I grabbed the small gun that was inside. I hesitantly put it on my bed, before sitting down on it.

What was the point of living anymore of I knew I would never be able to redeem myself in his eyes?

"... If you're watching this, Shizuo, then this means that I decided to go through with it. I don't know why I'm making this video. I really don't. But, I hope you're happy. You caused my death. You ended my life. Maybe you didn't actually take it away, but you made me pull the trigger to the gun. I loved you. I never hated you. But, because of that... What's the point anymore? What's the point of being alive when the only person that made you happy is happy with someone else? Promise me one thing; don't come to my funeral. You never cared. So, why bother showing up? ... I love you, Shizuo Heiwajima. And goodbye."

After I made this video, I walked to his house and put the camera in front if the door. I knocked a few times, but quickly ran away, and headed to the nearest ally, gun in my hand.

I put the barrel of the gun to my temple, knowing there was no going back now. Putting my finger on the trigger, I felt a small smile etch on my lips.

"Flea!"

My eyes went wide in shock, and I pulled the gun away for a brief second. Shizuo...? He stood in the ally, right in front of me, eyes wide. He wet to say something, but due to the shock, my finger slipped, and the trigger was pulled back.

I heard him yell, and I heard the bang of the gun. My body collapsed; I was bleeding out. Dead.

That was what I hoped, anyway..