A/N: Oh God, please don't kill me!? I know I haven't uploaded in ages and I know you have every right to want to chuck me out of the window you're near to but I've actually been quite busy. School and stuff. But I actually stepped outside from my Internet lair and experienced the outside world. A very surreal time for me!

I mean seriously, several different cars nearly hit me and I had a moment where I found the BBC 1 Radio in Hull and was pretty much partying until my sister told me it was a different one to the one Dan and Phil work. I mean, how many freaking Radio 1's do you need?

But wait a minute.

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and 56 freaking fans.

WHAT UNIVERSE IS THIS? BUT WHATEVER THIS IS, I HAVE TO SAY...

I kind of like it *suggestive wink here*

No but seriously thanks guise *wipes away a stray tear* I'd like to thank my dislike for tea and stuff.

But hey, I'm also having a Spanish student stay round mine for a week which I'm really looking forward for but I barely know English let alone Spanish which could prove things a little difficult. I wonder if they know interpretive dance? I won't be able to write or upload whilst they're here because I'll have to socialise and stuff... Okay, has anyone realised how I CAN'T socialise? I'm too socially awkward! Even on the Internet I go on about sexy T's and turtles so in real life I'm pretty screwed.

It's also Self-Harm Awareness Day! So whether or not this relates to you: From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says, "I survived."

Or live long and prosper.

And finally, sorry! I wanted to raise something from the last chapter, the whole perfect American family part. That wasn't me turning Dan and Phil American or anything; I understand that they're British, as I am. What I was trying to base Phil's family on was a (stereotypical, I understand) outlook on an early 1950's American family. Before this turns into the biggest shit storm in the existence of shit storms it's really hard to describe it but it's supposed to be how the perfect American families would act and that's how Phil sees his own family. You probably have no idea what I'm on about right now so thanks for bearing with me.

TIME TO GET MY WRITING ASS ON! WOOP!

Phil's POV

I groaned as I slowly emerged from the mass numbers of blankets underneath me, yawning, without even opening my eyes once I immediately gave up and flopped back to the makeshift bed and leant over to snuggle with Dan. But where he was curled up from before was now completely empty.

"Dan?" I called out, deciding I was too tired to get up to search for him. No answer.

I squirmed around a bit, still refusing to open my eyes and face the aspect of actually getting up and doing something other than sleeping, "Dan?" I called louder. Still no answer.

My voice began to show hints of desperation, "Dan, have you been kidnapped or something?"

"I'm trying to pee, Phil, it's a thing humans have to do!" His voice echoed through to where I was, a cloud of annoyance hanging very clearly with his words.

"You could have just told me you were busy, you didn't have to give me all the details" I yelled back still squirming around.

"And where would the fun be in that?" He grinned as he stepped into the room and into sight, "Good God, Phil, are you not even up yet?"

"I don't want to," I whined.

"Too bad, remember this is my Kingdom. My Kingdom, my rules," He pointed out seriously.

"Kingdom, pah!" I mocked grinning, "This is half of my airing cupboard!"

He sighed although the gleam in his eye was the only tell tale sign to show me that he wasn't taking things seriously, "You speak treason, Phil, and for that you must be punished,"

I had a few seconds to register what he was going to do before he had jumped on top of me and continued his mad tiggling session from last night.

"Stop! Stop!" I cried.

He paused and scrambled around until he was sat on top of me, "Well you either one of two choices," he explained poking me, "either get up or embrace this as my Kingdom"

"Oof! Watch where you put your elbows Dan! And what if I can't choose?"

He grinned and kissed my lips lightly "Then I will eat you with potatoes so you better get up because I want to do something today,"

In addition to them words I could see my defeat. With obvious effort I crawled slowly out of the den evidently not without moaning. Being my usual sexy self, I flailed about until I was stood next to Dan; slightly panting with the strain I had put myself in just by getting out.

He was just staring at me with a funny look, "Oh Phil, your sexiness gets me every time. I can't look directly at you without engulfing in your hotness,"

"You don't have to sound so surprised" I laughed.

"Who says I was?" He grinned and stepped closer making my heart skip a beat.

And what was supposed to be a magical moment was interrupted by the sounds of a car driving up the gravel. Instantly we both froze.

"But it can't be them," I whispered harshly, "They're weren't supposed to come back until tomorrow"

Quickly Dan rushed to the window and peeked through the curtains, "It's your Father, your Mother isn't there" He replied flatly.

"You've got to go!" I cried noticing the topless Dan and I.

"Not again," He firmly said.

"Now is not the time to turn stubborn, Dan!" I hissed as we both listened to the footsteps approaching the front door, "We'll be in a lot more shit if he catches you here with me so for the love of llamas, Dan, go before he finds us,"

He pulled me into a strong hug "I love you," He mumbled by my ear. A pang of emotion ran through me, "I love you too now go!"

He isn't going to make it in time, I thought distractedly as the front door began to unlock, Dan's footsteps were still audible from down here as he ran to my room.

I quickly pulled my top back on and then realised with dismay that Dan had left his jacket here and just as the door to the living room opened I swiftly kicked it under the den from sight.

I looked up and forced a smile to my father's entrance but he completely ignored me and was staring at the den, "What the bloody hell have you been up to?" He asked, his voice filled with irritation.

"Architecture," I heard myself say before thinking," Sort of. It's kind of something we have to do for school, in art. Nothing says architecture better than a den, right?" I nervously laughed.

His expression stayed incredulous the whole time.

"Well it's a poorly constructed den, I have to admit, although I'm pleased you're taking your options into consideration. So you think you want to be an architect? None of this media crap?" His eyes flickered to the window.

Well thank goodness Dan didn't hear that, he'd have him put under treason. But the hint of guilt was detectable in his words; he was obviously trying to make up for his words from before.

"I'll go make you some coffee then" I offered and at that he nodded distractedly, not taking his eyes off of the window before walking out of the room without saying a word. As I started to fuss over the kettle in the kitchen I could have sworn that I heard the front door but thought nothing off it.

"Do you want me to leave it in the kitchen?" I called out loudly but no reply returned, "Dad? Dad, are you there?"

Heavy footsteps were heard outside and the front door was slammed open, the sound ringing through the house. Before I had time to react I heard Dan's voice and with effort my father had shoved him through into the living room where I was now stood.

"What is he doing here?" My father hissed, bright red and seething with anger.

"It was just-"

"Do I look like I'm stupid?" He scoffed.

I just gaped back helplessly. Dan was glaring at him, rubbing at his arm where he had been grabbed and then dragged roughly.

"He's not even dressed right!" He pointed at Dan, "And you! You! You're-You're top's inside out!" His face turned from red to white, white to purple and back to red as he began to understand what he was saying, which should have been kind of comical if the topic wasn't so grave, so significantly important.

"I knew this would happen if we left you alone. Your mother, being the gullible woman she is, thought you would learn but you didn't. You never do. But this has reached the limit, Phil, and I will sort this out, I will sort you out. But until then if I see you near him," He jerked his head towards Dan's direction, "talk to him, have any form of contact with him then I swear to God that I will not be afraid to send you to that therapy crap to get your head straightened out as well as the rest of you. Or if not, something else as drastic as that," He grabbed, a now very pale, Dan's arm again and began dragging him outside, hurried footsteps scrambling away on the gravel told me that Dan was rushing away as fast as he could.

He then walked in and continued glaring at me, playing with the cuffs on his shirt and then untightening his tie.

"So what will you do to me?" I asked bitterly, "Exile me to Australia? Send me to live with your relatives? Have me sectioned? How far will you go to sort me out?"

"It's simple," he replied matter of factly, stepping over to where he hid the brandy, as if he wasn't screaming fit to burst only a few minutes ago, "I have a very good friend who owes me,"

"So you are having me sectioned?" I replied resentfully.

He laughed as he poured himself a large glass, "Oh no, I'm not going that far. In fact I think you'll like it. I could have done anything with you, including all them although I think getting you sectioned would have caused more effort than worth, but you're my son and no matter how differently you'll think to me, I want the best for you. Can't you see this is why I react the way I do? But no," he paused concentrating only on the brandy in front of him

"So what will you do to me?" I whispered fearing for the words he would say next.

He smiled at me, almost one of pity, "You're going to a friend of mines boarding school out in Scotland. You leave for the morning after tomorrow. It's all sorted," My frozen mind was unable to comprehend the words he was saying, "It's for your own good,"

Not even an hour ago I realised that I had no other choice but to leave the den and now, once more, I knew I had no choice and I was floundering, "Can I not at least say goodbye to Dan?" I asked desperately.

"No."

A/N:

AND...

ONCE AGAIN, please don't kill me!

I think I should pre-warn you that, like any other phanfic, this will have a happy ending.

Did I just ruin this for you? *gasp *

Sorry!

But I can't really write a full authors note as my sister is literally shooting me death glares because it's her turn on the computer.

Therefore, ciao for now guys!

WAAAAAIT! DOOON'T GOOO YETT!

I forgot to say that I know there are probably hundreds of terrible to humanity mistakes in there and that's because my hands are just going splat against the keyboard and one things leads to another and okay, I'm not going to lie anymore, I'm trying to get this past 2,000 words. Done!

Yay...XD