Chapter 18

Katniss POV

The wedding reception is in full swing and I am so happy for Annie and Finn that everything has gone so well. As I watch them twirl around the dance floor so obviously in love I can't help searching the sea of people for him.

Last night he had awakened a part of me I thought I had buried forever. When his lips had touched mine it felt like the Universe had slotted back into place. Having felt turmoil and loneliness for years my soul had experienced calm and peace for the first time in a long time. Then the kiss had ended and the memories of Madge and all our problems came flooding back. I had backed away from him and I didn't regret it. Peeta had lost my trust and I didn't trust myself around him.

As I move through the crowd toward the exit I find myself thinking about the day. Everything had been perfect. Annie had been a vision in white and I would never forget the look in Finn's eyes when he had seen her for the first time in the church. His love and devotion had been obvious to anyone looking at him. I hadn't wanted to, but I couldn't help myself from glancing at Peeta then. His eyes were not on the happy couple but were latched onto me, smouldering in their intensity that heat had flooded the pit of my stomach and a deep flush had crept up my cheeks.

I had tried to avoid him since then, scared of myself and my reaction to him. I had done my part, posed for numerous photos, danced with Cato and laughed and joked with the guests. I had felt his eyes on me through it all and now I was just ready to go home. My nerves were frazzled and I couldn't keep up a front anymore.

Just as I thought I was going to manage to slip away un-detected a hand closed around my elbow and before I knew it I was pulled into the hotel elevator. I turned in shock to see who had just manhandled me and backed away quickly when I met his vivid blue eyes.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" I ask, my temper bubbling over.

Peeta leans back calmly against the opposite wall of the elevator crossing his arms over his well-defined chest and regards me seriously.

"Something I should have done years ago," he answers smoothly "making you talk to me."

The years had been kind to Peeta Mellark and if I thought him handsome six years ago, now he is devastatingly attractive. His hair still needs a cut and falls in golden silky curls around his neck and ears. Where he once had a well-defined body, now it was plain to see he worked out and I couldn't help but admire the muscles that strained against his close fitting shirt. The boy had definitely grown up into a stunningly attractive man and I couldn't help but be attracted to him.

He presses a button on the control panel and the elevator moves into activity.

"I don't think this is a good idea Peeta." I glare at him.

"This is the best idea I've had in six years Katniss." He answers back calmly.

The elevator shudders to a stop and the doors slide open to reveal a small hallway with three doors along it. Before I can protest Peeta shuffles me out into the corridor and the doors slide closed behind me.

He produces a key card and slides it into the nearest door motioning me to precede him into the room.

"This isn't going to happen Peeta!" I turn to press the call button for the elevator but before my fingers can touch it I feel myself hoisted off my feet and lifted into the hotel room.

He deposits me on a sofa while he shuts the door and as I try to compose myself he regards me with what looks like contempt.

"Always trying to get away aren't you?" he mutters running his fingers through his gold locks in frustration.

"Funny, I thought it was you who had experience of international getaways," I can't help retaliating.

Peeta shoots me a sharp look as he makes his way over to the mini bar. "Drink?" he asks, pulling a bottle of Blue Moon from the small refrigerator.

I stare at him for a moment, unsure of what to do. Part of me, probably the largest part, wants to bolt straight out the door and avoid him and the havoc he will enviably bring me. The other part, the part that causes my tummy to fill with butterflies when I look at him, wants to stay. I know I can never move on with my life unless I resolve my connection with Peeta one way or another.

"Fine. Let's get this over with," I nod at him sitting back to get more comfortable on the plush sofa.

"I'll have a white wine" I answer his question, my stomach flooding with nerves now I have accepted I am actually going to do this.

"No longer a beer drinker?" Peeta asks as he fills a wine glass with the clear alcohol.

"Sure I still like a beer," I answer, accepting the glass from him.

He sits down on the soft chair facing me. "You look incredible," I look at him sharply only to see the sincerity written on his face.

"Thanks" I murmur with embarrassment.

"So this is strange isn't it?" He smiles over at me. "I mean, I thought we would never see each other again…"

"I guess." I answer looking at him warily.

"So you've been travelling?" He takes a small sip of his beer. "Finn occasionally mentioned you in our phone calls. It sounded like you were doing really well – working while travelling the world, sounds like a dream job?"

"It is. I mean it was. I've decided to take a permanent position here now." I tell him reluctantly, not wanting to expose too much.

"Wow!" He looks at me in shock. "You mean you are going to stay in Seam permanently?" He looks taken aback at this news.

"That's the plan, yes." I answer. "What about you? I hear you are a big hot shot artist in New York now?

Peeta shifts uncomfortably "I wouldn't call myself a hot shot but I'm doing alright." He smiles sadly at me "It would seem our friends have been keeping us both informed over the years. It's a pity we weren't able to talk to each other."

I fix him with a steely glare "Well it wouldn't have seemed right, your ex-girlfriend phoning you when you were married and settled down with another woman. What would Madge have thought of that?"

Peeta looks at me in exasperation.

"I went a whole year of little or no contact with you before I married Madge, Katniss." He answers sharply "I would have been over the moon to receive any contact from you but you made it more than clear that you wanted nothing more to do with me."

I can see the anger burning in his eyes and I can't stop myself from responding

"I was sick Peeta! I pushed you away because I was filled with self-hate and guilt. Gale was terribly injured doing something for ME and I felt responsible. I couldn't continue being your girlfriend when I knew it would hurt him even more." I pulled in a deep breath as I continued "By the time I realised what I had done to you, what I had done to us, it was too late and it all came crashing down on me. I felt like I was hit by a ton of bricks and I had a breakdown." I meet his eyes and I can see the sympathy there. "My Dads death and the fallout from that damaged me more than I thought. Obviously I'm not as strong as I once thought I was."

Confusion runs through me. I don't understand how he can be so angry. He was the one who left the country and married someone else.

I look at him bitterly "A whole year…." I arch my eyebrows at him "You lasted a whole year before you became somebody's husband. You chased and fought for me but again when circumstances outside my control forced us to part, you moved on without a second thought." I can feel unshed tears burning behind my eye lids. "You must have really loved Madge to want to spend your life with her. " I feel a tear slide down my cheek and I brush it away angrily.

"I never loved Madge! I loved you!" I meet his eyes in shock.

"I had only ever loved you Katniss. I don't think you have ever realised the effect you had on me. I could never see any other girl, you were all I thought about, throughout school, throughout college, even when I was marrying somebody else damn it! You must have realised?"

He looks at me beseechingly and I feel like I can't breathe.

"I was so utterly in love with you that when you closed me out and finished us I lost all interest in anything. I didn't care about going to Paris. I didn't care about marrying Madge. I went through the motions because I thought I had lost you forever. I thought you never really wanted me. You were all I had ever really wanted and I had lost you" Peeta runs a hand through his hair in despair and I can't help but feel myself start to weaken.

"Nothing I can say can explain how I felt when I heard you were sick and I was married. Can you imagine how much I hated myself? How much I despised Madge even though it wasn't her fault? He stands and moves across the room toward me.

"I wanted to fly straight to LA and throw myself at your feet begging your forgiveness but I was trapped. Even later when my marriage broke up I thought about it but I convinced myself that maybe you never really cared. Maybe it was me pushing you into something you never really wanted." I look at him in surprise and he must read it on my face.

"It just always seemed like I was fighting for you. I was always the one trying to convince you to give us a shot, you never once fought for me."

His words cut me to the core and as I think about past events from Peeta's perspective I begin to understand where he is coming from. I have always held my emotions in check, ever since my Dad died. I had seen first-hand what love can do to a person and I never really wanted a part of it. My Mother had turned into a shadow of her former self and lost all interest in life around her. I never wanted to be like that.

When I think about it, I had always tried to keep Peeta at a distance but he pushed his way through and lodged himself in my heart. I had tried to pretend to myself that I didn't care about him or the fact he had married Madge, throwing myself into my work and travelling, always trying to never look back. The fact remained that Peeta had been my first and only lover. Nobody I had met over the past six years had made me once think about starting sharing that part of myself again.

Realisation slowly washes over me. I begin to recognise that I am more like my Mother than I ever wanted to be. I had fallen in love many years ago and I had never recovered. One person had a hold on my heart and that was it for me, Peeta was it for me. I was still in love with him.

I stand up in panic not sure how to deal with this newfound information and find myself unable to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry Katniss, I've said too much." Peeta mutters despondently.

"It's probably too late for this conversation, God I don't even know If you are with somebody now?"

I lift my wine glass and take a large gulp trying to settle my nerves about what I am about to do.

"You said "you were?" I ask as I meet his eyes, my hand trembling slightly.

"What?" Peeta asks looking confused.

"When you were talking, you said you were in love with me? Does that mean you aren't anymore?"

I hold my breath as I watch the impact of my question wash over him and he looks at me questionably.

"It's just…. I am still in love with you and I was wondering if maybe I fought for us this time would you be willing to give me another chance?"

My stomach ties itself in knots as I watch Peeta's face for his reaction. I can't believe I am putting myself on the line like this but past memories of Peeta in Hawthorns Hardware and standing on our college campus pouring his heart out to me in the pouring rain has given me the courage to take a chance for him.

"It's always been you Peeta." I whisper "I never wanted to fall in love or dream of happy-ever-afters but then you came into my life and swept me of my feet." I look at him, tears falling down my cheeks. "I fell in love with you out by the lake many years ago and I've never stopped."

Peeta looks at me in total shock as I continue. "When I heard you were married to Madge I thought I was going to relapse again. I thought I had lost you forever and part of my heart stopped beating. I am so sorry how I treated you ….. can you ever forgive me?"

"Katniss…!" Peeta's voice breaks as he comes to stand in front of me "I have messed things up so badly between us. Are you sure you can forgive me?" He lifts his hands to clasp the top of my arms.

Before I can reassure him he pulls me close, and I rest my head on his warm chest. He mumbles softly "It may be years since I last saw you but you were always in my thoughts and dreams. God I can't believe the years we wasted!" I raise my head and look into his blue depts. "The one thing in life that I am sure of is that I love you with every part of me and that will never change. Neither time nor distance will ever change the depth of my feelings." He shakes his head in amazement "Is this really happening?"

Peeta's eyes flood with tears and I wrap my arms around him feeling loved and complete for the first time in years as he pulls me to him. Before I can think about it my lips find his and all the years drop away. It's as hot as it was the first time we did this back in Hawthorns Hardware as his mouth devours mine. Nothing has ever felt as good as this and the relief I feel at being in his arms again is indescribable.

My tongue dips into his mouth and tangles with his as we try to begin to make up for lost time. I can't get close enough to him.

"Katniss, if this is a dream I don't ever want to wake up." Peeta murmurs through kisses.

"I want you" I whisper breaking off the kiss and staring into his eyes as I take a step back.

He stands in stunned silence as I drop the two straps of my midnight satin blue dress of my shoulders. I shimmy slightly and it drops to a puddle at my feet leaving me in my black strapless bra and lacy thong. Peeta's mouth drops open.

"Are you sure?" He asks me as his eyes smoulder, boring into mine.

I reach round and unclasp my bra letting it fall to my feet in answer.

His eyes drink me in and his breathing accelerates. "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever set my eyes on." He whispers and before I can move he swings me up into his arms taking a nipple into his mouth as he crosses the room to the large king-size bed.

My tummy twists in sensation as he sucks hard and bites softly at my breast. He lays me down on the soft bedding and unbuttons his white shirt. My eyes can't see enough as he pulls the shirt from his body exposing his pale muscled chest and my hands reach touching him as I thought I never would again. His skin feels so smooth and warm and all I want to do is feel his naked body on mine.

I can hardly think as desire floods through me and I know my thong must be useless now as I feel so wet for him. His lips reach mine again and I kiss him desperately moving onto his jaw line as my hands find his belt buckle.

"Fuck Katniss I want you so much, I can't believe this is happening." His hand moves mine away as he opens his pants and pulls them off his legs. His cock strains against his boxers and I feel myself become wetter if that is possible. His hands move to my thong and I lift my bottom as he pulls them off me. Before I can think, he pushes my legs wide open and runs his tongue up my slit, drinking in all my juices. I arch off the bed in sensation pulling at his hair.

"Oh my God Peeta!" I shout as he continues to lap at me, flicking his tongue over my clit causing me to shudder.

"You taste amazing. Do you know how many times I have dreamed of doing this Katniss? How many different ways I have imagined fucking you? Nothing has ever felt or tasted as good as you." He plunges his finger inside me as he sucks my clit into his mouth and I feel myself explode in a world of sensation as I orgasm. Shudders wreck my body as I come down from my high and I can't help thinking how I have survived without this for so long.

I open my eyes and watch as Peeta pulls a condom from his wallet and climbs back on the bed pulling his boxers from his legs as he moves. His cock juts out proudly and I can't stop myself from moving and taking him into my mouth in a moan. He cries softly as I clasp his butt in one hand and his sack in the other taking him as far into my mouth as I possibly can. He tastes divine and as I suck him I can't get enough. His hands run through my hair and he pulls me gently away.

"No Katniss. I'm not going to last and I really need to be inside you when I come."

He pushes me back on the pillows and my legs fall open as he puts the condom on. I moan softly as his eyes burn into mine. He lines himself up with my soft opening and pushes my hands above my head holding them in place.

"You're mine." He murmurs as he pushes himself inside me. I can't help but yelp as it has been so long since we were together and he feels so big.

"Are you all right?" He stills as he looks at me in alarm.

"I'm fine, keep going." I pull him to me urging him closer. He eases himself deeper into my depths and I find myself adjusting to him as sensations flood my body. He feels amazing and I find myself arching into him, trying to increase the pace.

"You feel unbelievable Katniss!" Peeta mutters as he increases his pace. Sweat pours from our bodies as he starts to pound into me. How did we ever survive without this I wonder as his movements reignite my body. He reaches down and hooks my two legs in his arms as he pushes my knees up to my head. I shout out as this new position causes him to go deeper, hitting a hidden spot within me. The world fades away as I close my eyes, holding my breath as he moves faster and faster and just when I think I am going to pass out with the sensation; I erupt into the most earth shattering orgasm of my life. I feel myself explode around him as I shout out his name, clasping him to me as I experience pure pleasure. Peeta shouts out with me as he orgasms with a loud cry that seems to go on for an age.

Time passes by as we lie side by side on the bed trying to catch our breath and let what has transpired between us sink in.

"Please tell me this is it now?" Peeta whispers into the night. I turn my head to look at him in question.

"I don't want any more misunderstanding's Katniss. This is it for me. You are it." He gazes earnestly into my eyes. "I don't want to take it slow; I just want you to be mine forever."

"What are you saying?" I ask, excitement building in my stomach

"I'm saying I don't know where we will live or where we will work but I do know I don't want another day to go by that we aren't together. I'm saying, Katniss Everdeen …. Will you be my wife?"

It might seem crazy but as I look into his eyes I know we have wasted enough time. I am his and he is mine and there won't be any more misunderstandings about that.

"Yes!" I beam in response, moving into his arms.

THE END!

Ok so that last up-date took far too long and I can only apologise as I was busy having a wee bundle of joy to keep me even more busy. I hope you all enjoyed my light hearted story based on the wonderful characters of Suzanne Collins.