I liked Leviathan DLC so much, but as much as Kaidan has been so cute and lovingly, I found Shepard as cold as ice with him, and this annoyed the hell out of me. So I wanted to write a fluffy fluffy drabble to 'fix' that.
This is related to my other fanfic "Somewhere", and on.
Drop me a review if you want! ^_^
"Never do that again!"
Kaidan sighs as his words come back to his mind… those words he said to Shepard today when she almost died during their chasing for Leviathan. Now he's feeling very guilty; she did her job as she always does, but damn… she acted to damn hasty.
He was completely terrified while she was under the sea, and when he saw her panting on the floor surrounded by Brutes and Husks, his heart almost stopped. He can barely remember how fast he had run to save her, dodging all the enemies with the air caught into his throat, fearing to not arrive on time…
Then, when she was safe on the Kodiak, he couldn't help himself to not scold her. She didn't answer to him, she just gave him a sad glance, while her face twisted in pain from the migraine.
As they arrived back to the Normandy, unbelievably Kaidan had managed to convince her to take some of his meds and go to rest, so he had to speak with Admiral Hackett in her representation about what they've found.
Now it's very late and he just entered into the elevator.
I can't lose her again. I can't… He thinks gloomy while he steps in their loft.
The lights in the Captain's cabin are dim and there's just the sound of Shepard's breath. He approaches the bed tiptoeing to not wake her up, and he halts at her feet, staring at her fascinated: she's amazingly beautiful even when she sleeps, and she seems so relaxed, wrapped under the duvet, and her long mahogany hair scattered all over the pillow.
Ok, calm down Alenko, she's here, she is alive… Don't think about terrible things anymore, at least for tonight.
He takes his clothes off silently and slowly slips under the sheets next to her, cuddling her softly from behind.
"Kaid'n…" she murmurs.
"Oh… I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you up…" he gulps surprised.
"No… I wash waitin' for ya…" her voice is very sleepy.
"Really?" he kisses her head.
"Yesh…" she turn to face him "I misshed you…" she adds, hugging him.
"Me too, baby…" he responds embracing her more tightly "How do you feel?"
"A little drunk… Your migraine meds are… whoaaa!" she seems to recover from her dopey state.
He sighs "I know it very well…"
She raises her head to kiss his chin "I love you sho much, Kaidan…"
His heart bumps into his chest at her words, he will never get used to her saying this to him "I am so glad for that, you have no idea… Really… But now sleep, my love…"
"No. I want to talk to you. Please…" she pouts.
"You need to rest, baby…" he caresses her hair lovingly.
"No, I need to tell you something important." her tone is now normal, and she's totally awake.
He lowers his head to meet her eyes "Ok darling, I'm listening…"
"Thank you…" she takes a deep breath "I know what's in your mind right now. You are upset because you were worried about me… Please, forgive me, my love…"
Oh, she knows me so well… Kaidan thinks fondly "Baby, I've nothing to forgive you. You were just carrying on your duties …"
"Yes, I was…" she's staring at him serious "But you were scared, and I can understand why…"
"Sharilin, I…"
"Kaidan, listen to me" she interrupts him, leaning one hand on his cheek "I'm aware I am not good in talking about my feelings, but I really need to do this now. Probably your meds are helping me to open up…" she gives a little laugh "Do you remember when I told you I'm not jealous of you?"
"Yes…" of course he remembers… That has been a very interesting day.
"Well… I was lying." Shepard states
"Oh, really?" he chuckles.
"Yeah really! I'm totally jealous of EVERYTHING that concerns you, Kaidan. I am jealous of every person that comes near you, I am jealous of anyone who talks about you, I am jealous of the lights that illuminates you… I'm even jealous of the air you inhale!" she's speaking very restless and all the words are coming out her mouth like a waterfall "I just need you to be mine, only mine… I want to get lost within you… Being part of you, and be together forever with you…"
Kaidan is totally amazed by her speech, this is the very first time she's opening herself to him "I know this is selfish, so I don't usually show my emotions and I act as the professional soldier I have to be. But that's why I understand you being afraid for me… because I feel the same for you" she embraces him, burying her face in his chest "I just wish to stay with you all the time" she whispers.
The emotion that she's causing in Kaidan is so strong that he can barely speak "Oh, Sharilin… I don't know what to say… You know, I long for you every moment of my day… I always have. Sometimes my feelings for you are so overcoming that I fear I could drive you insane if I don't hold them back… I don't want to be another concern in your mind…"
Shepard jumps, returning to look at his face "No you're not! And you could never be. On the contrary, you help me so much you have no idea! Not only in the battlefield or during the meetings with the Councilors…"
"I…" he tries to reply but she doesn't let him finish.
"Ever since I enlisted to the Alliance, after I've lost my family on Mindoir, I've lived without thinking at the consequences of my dangerous actions: I didn't mind about my own life, I just wanted to do my job at its best, proving to myself what I was capable of doing. But then I met you and everything changed for me" she smiles sweetly at him "Now I know I'm not alone, and I need to take care of myself because I have to come back to you. And amazingly this thought made me even stronger and powerful. In you, Kaidan, I found my home…"
"Oh baby…" he can't hide his feelings anymore, and he kisses her lips softly.
When they pull apart, Shepard continues "My love… We're going to face the most dangerous enemies the galaxy has ever had… But I strongly intent to win this war, and to survive at any cost."
She runs her finger through his dark curls, glancing at him fondly "All my life was full of losses: my family and my friends on Mindoir, my squad on Akuze… I've already lost my life, and also you, once… Then somehow I've gained a second chance, and there's no way I'm going to waste it. So we'll defeat the Reapers and then we'll finally be able to start our life together."
Kaidan is hypnotized by her expression, sure and certain "I can't wait for it, Sharilin…"
She grins at him "Me too… I want you to show me your town, the places where you've grown. I want to meet your family… I want… I want you, Kaidan. Forever and ever…"
"There's nothing I would like more than this, baby…" he brushes her forehead with his lips and then she moves to meet them with hers.
"I just need to finish all this… I'm so tired… I need to be just yours… And you to be just mine… I know I don't use those three words 'I love you' as often as you do… but Kaidan, I really love you with all my heart. I love you so much that it hurts…"
Kaidan sense the tears filling down his eyes "Baby, are you trying to kill me with your sweetness? God, you are everything for me…" and he kisses her again, more fiercely and for a long time, his left hand slipped behind her nape to hold her close.
As they both remain breathless, Shepard giggles "You know… at least there was something I really enjoyed about our mission today…" she says moving away from him just a few inches, his breath hot on her face "The show under the sea was really amazing. I've never been to the beach…"
"Oh never? Well then… when this will be over, Sharilin, I'll have to take you to the most beautiful beach of Earth." he blinks at her.
"Oh yes, please… I'd love that…" she claps her hands excitedly.
"We'll rent a cottage on the seashore, we'll sunbathe all day long, explore all the seabed, eat a lot of fish, and make love on the foreshore…" Kaidan continues, cuddling her.
"And will we live happily ever after?" Shepard asks hopeful.
"You can count on it, baby. Until the end of time…" and he kisses her again.