Authors note: I do not own bleach; however this is for all the people out there who has been abused both physically and spiritually. People need to speak out for others and stop peer pressure, bullies and other crazy stuff that happens in school...

Hi, my name is Ichigo Kurosaki. I am fifteen years old, I'm about 5'9'' and I weigh about 134 lbs... I have exotic "orange" hair, which is natural by the way and brown eyes. I had a loving family, a dad, a mom, and two younger sisters. My mom was murdered when I was nine and as for my sisters, Karin and Yuzu; they both are also dead.

I live alone now with my father; he's now drunk almost every day and lives off drugs as a living, but I still love him and I know somewhere deep inside he loves me too. He's always mad and very violent, but when he's not drunk; he's very loving and kind.

My life is very complex, some people even say it's worthless and that I should just kill myself; I never answer them, I let them say what they want and I just pretend they don't exist.

Let me tell you a little about myself: before fourth grade, my life was just picture perfect; my mother was my world, my everything. Dad was always happy, he never smoked, he was never drunk; hey he was always there! My sisters were just so loving; so happy, but it didn't last long... because of me.

I have a problem you see, I can see ghost... I bet you, your all laughing now. Believe it or not, there real.

Because of this I lost my mother, my father did not believe me; my sisters, well they loved me... and yet they were torn apart...

Ever since that day, I had been missing school; teachers got tired of me, students got tired of me, I lost my best friend and I was alone...

In fifth grade, I was pronounced the class weirdo; nobody liked me and nobody wanted to be near me. I was called murder, I was called freak show, I was called a monster and so I cried almost everyday... but my mother never came back.

In sixth grade, I finally fought back one of the students; he was really pretty with blue hair, I bit him because he made fun of my mother. The day after he left the school and everybody made rumors that I had killed him. People were mean to me for no reason, but I learned to fight even though I always lost.

In seventh grade, I was jumped almost every day; my father even came to the school many times before he just had to transfer me. My new school was great... well that is until news got out over the internet about me... so again I was the class entertainment.

Getting bullied all the time made me fight harder, but they were just so many that I always lost; either cause I'm the only one punished or because I lose the fight, either way I always get the sour end of the stick.

Because of my bad reputation, my sisters also got picked on to the point I was fighting younger kids too. I didn't care if I looked like a bully, no one was going to touch my sisters. Sadly what I didn't know was that they too had older sibblings...

One time this seventeen year old came to our school, just to mess with me. I believe the oldest guy to come was twenty-one, but he was pretty gentle with me as he let me go unlike the others whom put me to the hospital a few times.

Kaien Shiba was the name of my friend there, no one ever talked to him nor paid any attention to him either. We would play on and on for hours and laugh behind are teachers backs. My father never liked him though... I didn't understand till later on...

Kaien was my only light in the world; he was never there during my fights, but he was there to always cheer me up. We only had one class together and so he was never there when the kids bad mouthed me, but when he was around I never cared about my own surroundings.

During winter break, I brought him home; Yuzu wasn't doing so well and so I was watching her for the day... Dad was running late and Kaien suggested giving her some pills. I wasn't sure what they were, but he assured me that they would help her... they didn't...

By the time dad came home, Yuzu was dead... I killed her... I didn't mean it, but I did. My father lost his senses, I didn't blame him I don't think I was truly there neither.

In the end, Karin committed suicide... nobody knows why... except for me...

Kaien was never really there from the start; the teachers said that they had a Kaien once, but he died years before I arrived at the school. It turns out that years ago Kaien shiba got a really bad cold. His older sister than gave him some medicine that he was allergic to and he died. His twin brother on the other hand committed suicide, no one knows why... but I do...

I lost myself and everything for almost a full year went blank... I woke up in a rehab, I wasn't charged for murder and my father and I never really spoke about anything. He never blamed me for anything, unless he was drugged or drunk that is.

In eighth grade, I got out of rehab; my father's acohol was taking the best of him and I was transferred again towards a pretty decent school with the dumbest teachers I have ever seen. Because of my bandages and bruises, they thought that my dad was an abuser. My father loves me, he would never hurt me!

The class eventually knew who I was, but ignored me... it was very scary because not one of them would even take a glance at me as if I didn't even exist. I sat alone at lunch, I was never picked at any game or sport... not even last since the coach didn't care that I participated period.

My grades were horrible, not that I never studied; it was just that I had bullies beat me, rip my books, steal my stuff and in the end the only thing that raised a red flag was the mere fact that I always got a high 'A' in my tests.

I was hated because I existed, I was a murder and a monster that didn't deserve affection. I still wanted it... no matter what anyone said, I still wanted it.

When a new boy suddenly transferred, I thought luck was finally shining on me. He liked me a lot. Shuhei Hisagi, he was one of the coolest guy's I ever seen; he was kind of dumb though since I was thirteen and he was what sixteen in the eighth grade? I didn't care cause he liked me.

He had a girlfriend who was only a few moths older than me, however she didn't know about me.

Shuhei would hold me and sweet talk me, he was kind and loving. The whole school liked him, he was the 'cool' kid; what ever Shuhei did, they did including me...

One day, he finally invited me into his house. He said that he had a surprise for me. He took me towards his room and shut the door, none of his folks were there. I felt so shy and yet I knew something was wrong. Taking out a camera, he told me to strip... I didn't want to... but he told me that if I didn't that I would be alone again.

...So I stripped...

I was so scared, I never felt so violated in all my life... but I couldn't have him go... I didn't want to be alone anymore... filming me, he began to touch me... before I knew it, he was all over me and I liked it... I wanted him, but somewhere deep inside I didn't.

I came home late that night, my father was furious and so I lied to him that some bullies chased me. He believed me and let me go to bed.

The next day was horror, everyone knew about the night before... Now I was noticeable and people began to see me as a slut, a fag, a bitch... gay and so many horrible other names. Teachers soon began to ignore me, I soon began to slowly stop fighting as I was being more and more exposed of the monster I was.

After school, I was confronted by his girlfriend and the whole school behind her. She told me to stay away from her bitch and that I deserved to disappear of the faze of the earth. Shuhei was there, he said nothing. I didn't want him to get in trouble too and so I lied saying it was all my fault.

Shuhei agreed with me, but instead of dropping it there; he lied saying how I came to him begging him to do it, he lied and said all sorts of lies in front of everyone. Everyone ganged up on me, everyone said all sorts of stuff about me, my mother, my family...

They left me in ditch and I never came out, for three day's I stayed there when finally this random albino found me. It was a Saturday, and the school soccer team was against another school. I never seen him before, but he sure seemed surprised to see me.

He spoke to me with a soft voice and I ignored him; he seemed pretty nice, but so did the other guys.

I was freezing cold and covered in mud, I couldn't move and my body ached. He asked me what I was doing in the mud and I just looked at him. He had the most scariest eyes I have ever seen, however his confused expression through me off.

Taking his ball he suddenly left without a word... and again I was alone...

A while later, this strange man was dragged over by the albino and at last I was freed from my prison.

My father sewed the school, no body was punished... nobody, but me...

After figuring out that I was all over the internet, I told my father the truth about what had happened. He exploded, he was already drunk and furious and so he finally beat me... he beat me and he beat me and he called me all sorts of harmful names and then he beat me.

The next day, when he regained his senses... he cried. He couldn't believe what I had done, that his only son was a gay prostitute...

I left to my room... I couldn't deal with this anymore... and so I tried to kill myself...

My father came upstairs to apologize, but when he saw what I've done; I was sent to an ambulance.

Again I lied, when I heard that my father was to be taken away; I blamed gangsters while my father supported me saying how they were the one's to cut my wrist.

A few innocent guys were put away and me and my dad went home in silence...

Every so often depending on what my dad drank or had he would either beat me, yell at me or cry with me... sometimes he did all three... when he was high we shared some laughs and when he was low at times I would hide and wait for him to stop.

We just recently moved towards a really bad area of Karakura Town... My name is Ichigo Kurosaki and I am now a freshmen in an all boy's school. I am about fifteen years old about to start my new high school year...

And this is my story...