So I totally suck, guys. It's been over a year since I said that I would post something. In my defense life has been absolutely crazy these past few months. Long story short, in October of 2013, my boss at the time had a stroke. I had to call the ambulance for him and I was in his hospital room every night. We tried to get into contact with his family but had trouble. They made me manager in his place. When it was time for him to be released, I took him and for the last 10 months, it's been an adventure. We did finally contact his family (and they've been a HUGE help but they live out of state and he didn't want to leave town) so I've basically had to raise a child since he had a lot of mental blocks after the stroke, all while learning to manage a store by myself. We couldn't afford internet so I wasn't able to upload stuff. Then, we had the ordeal of moving about 3 months ago. He's a LOT better now but he still lives with me since he's not cleared to live alone yet. Now that he has money coming in again, we'll be getting internet back and I'm going to be writing again! We won't be getting internet back for another few days but I gave my neighbor $20 to let me use their internet for the night before they change their password again. I really needed to send in an order for my store but now that that's done, I decided to get this to you guys. Between Monday and Wednesday, I'll upload a couple more things that I've had waiting before starting on new chapters/stories. I can't tell you how happy I am to finally have everything settle so I can get back to you amazing people! A lot of users in the past couple of weeks have liked stories and followed me and I haven't forgotten about those of you who've been there since the beginning! So thank you to all of you for making sure the guilt of being a horrible poster kept eating at me! ;) I threw a contest in one of my stories a while back and once I get the stuff that's been waiting out, I'm going to do the prompts that the winners' gave me. This is a short chapter but I needed to give you guys SOMETHING for being so amazing.

Guys, I'm so happy to be back...

Disclaimers: I don't own Rizzoli & Isles, any of the characters or locations used in the show. Everything belongs to the amazing people at TNT, the producers Janet Tamaro and Jan Nash. The only things I own are the computer I type on, the beer I drink while writing (explains a lot right?), and the tools I use to help me write.

As the sun rose, rays of light passed through windows and blinds, lighting up the faces of the sleeping people of Boston. Jane groaned as the light made its way through the thin membrane of her eyelids, forcing her from her sleep. Rubbing her eyes, Jane could feel that grittiness that came from having spent the night crying and the pulsing behind her eyes from her drinking.

When she finally opened her eyes, Jane saw that she was in her bedroom but that she was alone. Running a hand over the sheet next to her, her heart breaks when she feels how cold it is. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she runs a hand through her hair. Her elbows propped up on her knees, she rests her face in her hands, trying desperately not to cry but feeling the surge of emotion rushing at her. Remembering what had occurred the night before, or what she thought had occurred, tears finally start sneaking their way down her face.

"Stupid. Stupid. Just another fucking dream. So stupid thinking this one was real."

She jumped slightly at the sound of her bedroom door opening. She had no idea who it might be. Her mother had learned not to come in anymore after Jane had blown up in her face and forced her out of the apartment. Korsak and Frost knew never to use their emergency keys unless it truly was an emergency. Frankie never came by out of respect for Jane's wishes. The only other person with a key was...

Maura.

"Jane, what's wrong?" Maura asked rushing over after setting down the tray that Jane just noticed. She placed her hands on Jane's face. Jane wasn't sure whether or not to recoil but her body answered for her when it leaned into Maura's touch.

"I just-" Jane started, voice raspy from sleep and tears. "I thought I was dreaming again. That you- That you never came by, that you never actually cared."

"No, never. You'll never be dreaming again. I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere."

For a few moments, Jane just rest her face in Maura's hands, allowing herself to cry and be held. She was soon brought into an embrace and slowly rocked. The movement was calming and Jane was able to collect herself enough to pull back and wipe her eyes.

"If you never left then where..." Jane trailed off, still putting herself together after her emotional display.

"Breakfast," Maura said, snapping away from the broken eyes in front of her to reach over and grab the tray that she had set by the bed. "I was making you breakfast. And not my fluff-fluff healthy breakfast, but a Rizzoli family style breakfast with real bacon and pancakes made with white flour and butter and all the unhealthy things that you love so much."

"It's froo-froo, Maura, not fluff-fluff," Jane said, unable, and unwilling, to stop herself from smiling a little.

"Oh, well, I also made scrambled eggs, with the yolk, and the sausage links with the questionable ingredients that you always insist on using and that fake orange juice stuff, Sunny-P."

"Sunny-D, Maura. Are you trying to be extra adorable today or something?" Jane joked lightly despite herself, sighing as if exasperated.

Maura blushed and the room went awkwardly silent as the two women began eating.

As they sat there in the tense atmosphere, each thought about the last six months and how it had been without the other. Jane was wondering what made Maura really come back, why it took so long for them to talk again, and if she was really in it for good. Maura only had one question on her mind.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Huh?" Jane asked shocked out of her thoughts. "Tell you what?"

"How much you loved me?" Maura asked softly.

Jane continued eating for a minute or two before finally answering.

"You never really gave me the chance to say much of anything."

"I tried to stay friends for two months, Jane."

"Yeah but you fled every time I tried to bring up what happened in the hospital."

Maura looked away, ashamed. She had avoided the subject like a coward. Her voice was soft, weepy.

"I just wanted to avoid the subject so that we could move past it. I just wanted to avoid hurting you."

"Yeah, well, I guess that didn't really work out, huh?" Jane shrugged, trying not to let it show how much it really hurt her.

Maura's small sniffles turned into light sobs as she tried desperately to explain herself.

"Jane, please, hear me out. I keep having this dream. It's a happy dream but it hurts so much when I wake up. I was prepared for it to be a life that I never had but I couldn't bear the thought of having it and losing it. I imagine it and then imagine you not coming home one day and I know how quickly I would break."

After a moment of silence, Jane asks.

"What's your dream, Maura?"

Maura takes a deep, shuddering breath before looking at Jane.

"I dream I'm in the kitchen, making dinner, but I keep stopping to look down and rub my stomach. I'm pregnant. During a moment when I'm not doing anything, I look out the window and you're lying in the back yard, hands behind your head on the grass, Jo sprawled out next to you. The sight always makes me smile. You're woken up by two little children who are asking you to play. You start tickling them and everyone is laughing. Jo is jumping around. The kids and you are rolling on the ground.

"When it's finally finished, I bring dinner out and call for the three of you to come to the table outside. As you start getting up, the kids tackle you and start tickling you back and it's just so adorable. I pretend to be mad and call for them 'Alexander Michael and Sasha Annabelle! Didn't I tell you to come to the table? Get off your momma and come sit down right now.' They trudge over and I make my way over to you, cracking some joke. You get on your knees, hold me around my waist and whisper into my stomach. 'Ignore her, Chely Jasmine. She's not funny. She's just jealous that she's not as funny as I am.' You look up at me with that cheeky little grin you get sometimes," Maura pauses a moment to trace Jane's trembling lips, willing herself not to break down into tears. "When you get back up you kiss me and as you're holding me, smiling at me, the dream just fades out and I wake up with this ache in my chest."

"I had different names but I kinda like yours more," Jane commented after a few minutes.

Maura let out a mix of a sob and a laugh.

"You had the same dream?"

"Almost exactly, just through my point of view."

"What were their names, Jane?" Maura whispered, looking up at Jane through wet eye lashes.

"Our little girl was Laura Anna, the boy was James Spencer and the little baby-to-be was Christina Angela," Jane whispered back at her, looking into the smiling, teary eyes.

"You were right. My names are better," Maura said, causing Jane to chuckle lightly. Maura broke out into her own smile at the sound.

"Always the humble one," Jane joked lightly, before trailing off into a sad silence. "Did you ever have nightmares about me?"

"All the time. I'd dream of you chasing down a perp that shot you and you dying in my arms. Or of you chasing a perp that ran off the edge of the John Hancock Tower and as you fall, all I can hear is your laughter. The worst one is when I've come up to the bullpen with some evidence reports and you aren't there. Everyone is glaring at me and I don't know why. All of a sudden your hand is on my shoulder, turning me around. Your eyes are vacant and you don't smile. You just say 'Good bye Maura' and you- you-" Maura trails off, breaking into sobs.

"I what Maura?" Jane asks, her own sobs causing her voice to break.

"You- you fall- over, shot in the- the head and another- another me, w-with black hair, is h-holding the gun with this- this e-evil grin be-before getting shot too," Maura can barely force the words out, sobbing between every other word. "A-and I'm trying to get to you but- but everyone just k-keeps pushing me back and t-telling me that it's all m-my fault."

By the time she's finished her dream, Jane has Maura wrapped up in her arms, gripping her tighter as she cries, as if she can hold all the pieces of Maura breaking together. The trembling body in her arms shakes Jane's resolve and a few tears escape from her eyes. After a few minutes, Maura draws back, still sniffling and wiping her eyes. She knows Jane will share her own nightmare soon enough so she doesn't push it. She's almost afraid to hear how much pain she had brought Jane.

"It always starts out innocently enough," Jane begins after a while, voice trembling slightly. "We're always doing something regular for us, at a crime scene, at the Robber, in the Café. All of a sudden, someone would swoop in. Ian or Dennis or someone. They'd sweep you up from your chair and hold you around your waist. You would laugh and hold onto them. As soon as I'd stand up to confront them, they'd pull a gun and shoot me in the stomach. I'd beg you to help me but you just laugh. Everything starts getting black around the edges and as you kiss them, you put your hand over the gun and you both shoot me again. All I can think is it was just a matter of time and that of course you would go back to someone more on your level, that your venture into dating beneath you is over-"

Jane is interrupted by a slap to her face. As she turns back to face Maura, mouth open in shock, she's pulled into a strong kiss that tastes of tears and coffee. Teeth clash together for a moment before Jane pushes her away and stands up, immediately pacing.

Stunned by the forcefulness of Jane's retreat, Maura watches Jane walk back and forth for a moment before speaking.

"Jane, I-"

The breach in the silence shocks Jane and she interrupts.

"I need to take Jo out for a run," she forces out, monotone as she rushes towards the door.

Maura is paralyzed from shock once again as she listens to Jane getting Jo on her leash. The sound of the dog's claws against the hardwood floor drives Maura to move.

Just as the front door of the apartment is being wrenched open, Maura wraps her had around Jane's wrist.

"Wait, Jane, don't go."

"Gotta take Jo out. Be right back," Jane rushes out, yanking her wrist from the blonde's grasp before slamming the door behind her. As she runs down the hall and down the stairs, Jane could swear she heard crying from her apartment but ignored it as she ran into the chilly air of a fall Boston afternoon.